<![CDATA[HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof]]>I’m at wits’s end. My wife becomes a change person. Everytime she teaches the kids at home, she is screaming at them. The whole neighbour can hear it (I know because while walking back downstairs from carpark, I can hear her screams.


I used all ways :
a. Psycho
b. Soft way
c. Hard way
d. Calm way
e. Logic way
f. The D Word
g. Praying

Nothing works.
The children (2 of them 1st one PSLE) have tuitions but she insist to go thru with her own assessment books for every subject.

The only thing she told me is : She knows her problem but she cannot correct it. Her Expectations got the better of her…

HELP !

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/4828/help-needed-badly-wife-s-temper-hitting-the-roofRSS for NodeSun, 03 May 2026 10:38:07 GMTFri, 07 Aug 2009 10:59:49 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:33:41 GMT]]>

LionIron:

I also didn't call home to check on things as meetings and dinners took all my time here till late night every day.
Ohhh....I understand.
LionIron:
She may be suffering from that compulsive disorder thing.
I think I need to engage things with her very carefully, NO heated conversations.

How to ask her to see a doctor ?
With lots of TLC. It's got to come from her - to recognize the need to seek help. Else it'd be a compulsion to do it to please you??!? 😢

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/58103https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/58103Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:33:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:34:48 GMT]]>

Andaiz:
LionIron,


How are things going? YOu've been quite quiet eh?

Take care!
Hi Andaiz,
I'm now in TaiPei and will be back tomorrow night.
These days I'm very busy with work and have no time for anything personal.

I also didn't call home to check on things as meetings and dinners took all my time here till late night every day.

She may be suffering from that compulsive disorder thing.
I think I need to engage things with her very carefully, NO heated conversations.

How to ask her to see a doctor ?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/58079https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/58079Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:34:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Mon, 14 Sep 2009 09:24:16 GMT]]>LionIron,


How are things going? YOu’ve been quite quiet eh?

Take care!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/57423https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/57423Mon, 14 Sep 2009 09:24:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Sun, 13 Sep 2009 04:51:51 GMT]]>LionIron, hope your wife realises what a gem she has in you. Many husbands in similar situation would rather stay away fm home as long as possible than to tackle the problem head-on.


Like one parent suggested, it is a good idea to video your wife when she’s having an outburst. She may not realise how ugly the whole situation is.

I’ve also had my share of tantrums with my child and sometimes, it amuses me that I’m actually more childish than the child.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/57005https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/57005Sun, 13 Sep 2009 04:51:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Wed, 09 Sep 2009 04:57:00 GMT]]>Maybe good to show your wife this article … That it is not normal to be obsessive or compulsive in bringing up our kids.


I pray that she does not go down the road that this lady in the article took.

============
GIRL NOW MORE INDEPENDENT… after being taken from mum’s hands

Mum goes to girl’s school every day, kicks up fuss about her test papers. School calls police twice, and the authorities take action. -TNP

Wed, Sep 09, 2009
The New Paper

By Benson Ang

SHE went to her daughter’s school every day to have lunch with her. She kicked up a fuss about her daughter’s worksheets, test papers and consent forms.

Now the Juvenile Court has placed a Care and Protection Order on her daughter, 7, and has taken the child away.

The Primary 2 pupil is now living in a children’s home.

Related links:

»Older daughter is in the care of her grandfather

»School calls cops on pesky mum
We are not naming any party to protect the daughter.

The New Paper first reported on the mother’s obsessive behaviour with her daughter in July.

A spokesman for the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) said a Care and Protection Order can be made if a child or young person is assessed to be in need of care and protection under the Children and Young Persons Act.

He said: ‘A statutory order will be required in situations where there is concern about the safety and welfare of the child, and the family is not receptive to interventions to safeguard the child’s interests.’

Since then, the mother has been repeatedly calling the Ministry to ask about her daughter.

She told The New Paper recently that her daughter was taken away during school hours and placed in a home with other children earlier last month.

Her daughter is to remain there for three months for observation, the mother said.

She claimed this was because the Ministry had noticed her over-protective parenting style and was concerned it might affect her daughter’s future development.

MCYS would not disclose further information on the case because of the Care and Protection Order placed on the daughter.

The girl’s school principal, who has been working with the Ministry, said that ‘as educators, we want to nurture children to realise their potential’.

She observed that since the daughter was placed in the children’s home, she has become ‘a more responsible, independent child’.

‘Now she can really take care of herself. She can get up herself, bathe, and manage her own meals,’ said the principal.

She added that the child has a more positive approach to learning and is participating more in class activities. She also appears cheerful and is interacting better with the classmates.

‘We believe that as the pupil grows in confidence, the pupil will be able to fully immerse (herself) in the holistic learning experience which the school provides,’ she said.

‘Not in immediate danger’

But the mother, not unexpectedly, sees things differently.

She feels her daughter should not be placed in a home because it is a traumatic experience for both mother and child.

She claimed that her daughter was not facing any immediate danger.

She said that it is not as if her daughter is failing her subjects, or that she cannot function or is not sociable.

She added that her daughter has been a normal child who has been happily living with her for the last seven years.

She insisted that the way she had been treating her child was nothing out of the ordinary.

She admits to washing her daughter’s shoes, folding her clothes, washing her used plates and even bathing her, but added: ‘What’s wrong with a mother trying to help her daughter? There’s nothing wrong with pampering a child.’

She insisted that the principal had a personal grudge against her, but the principal said she was only looking out for the daughter’s interests.

The mother also claimed she was barred from joining the school’s parents support group, but the principal denied this.

According to the mother, the principal’s claims of her behaviour are ‘exaggerated’.

The mother insisted that she is the best person to look after her daughter. But if she isn’t allowed to do so, she suggested that the Ministry place her daughter with her parents who are taking care of her older daughter.

‘Cried & complained’

She was allowed to see her daughter late last month in the MCYS building at Thomson Road, she said.

She claimed that during this meeting, her daughter cried and complained that she was told to do house duties.

The mother also claimed she saw scratches, about 20cm long, on her daughter’s leg, apparently sustained when the latter fell in the children’s home.

The mother claimed that her daughter had rashes on her neck and on both arms. But she could not provide evidence of either the rashes or the injury.

MCYS would not comment on her claims because of the Care and Protection Order.

As for the mother’s request to place her daughter with her parents, the MCYS spokesman said: 'Efforts would be made to place siblings with the same caregiver whenever they are placed in alternative care.

‘However, this may not always be possible depending on the availability of caregivers.’

The spokesman said the CPS (Child Protection Service) would arrange for children in alternative care to maintain contact with their parents and other family members.

'In instances where there may be possible distress or anxiety faced by the child, CPS will seek a prior discussion with the parents before the commencement of contacts.

‘CPS will monitor the child’s well-being and work with the parents to address the child’s safety and welfare needs.’

This article was first published in The New Paper.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56438https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56438Wed, 09 Sep 2009 04:57:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Tue, 08 Sep 2009 09:14:42 GMT]]>

LionIron:
Last night she worked my poor kid till 1:30am with lots of Disbelieve words like \"How can you donno this ? I have taught u million times\"... loud enough for 2 floors up and down to here... but its better than last time where u can hear it clearly downstairs.
Every time my hubby comments that my son is slow at learning, I tell him this : \"It is not his fault. It is our fault for giving him these genes.\" Then he has nothing to say.

There is a limit to a child's ability. While some children requires very few repetitions to learn, the majority of children require many repetitions in order to learn. There is no way that they can change, no matter how hard they try. As parents, since we are responsible for giving them this type of DNA, then we are responsible for teaching them as many times as they require. But of course, parents can be very bad teachers do, and perhaps she should re-examine her teaching style.

I really think that being nice to your wife is not going to work anymore. You should start by being honest with her.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56300https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56300Tue, 08 Sep 2009 09:14:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Tue, 08 Sep 2009 04:34:31 GMT]]>

LionIron:
Last night she worked my poor kid till 1:30am with lots of Disbelieve words like \"How can you donno this ? I have taught u million times\"... loud enough for 2 floors up and down to here... but its better than last time where u can hear it clearly downstairs.
Wow pls show your kids lots of love cos they wont be able to manage if both parents are \"hard\" on them and I fear they will grow up feeling angst and with lots of pent up frustrations.

Wonder if your wife has some sort of an obsessive compulsive related disorder? Cos she seem to have lost rationality in her eagerness to do what she feels is \"right and best\" for the children... Which apparently is not...

Just my thots based on your posting.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56236https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56236Tue, 08 Sep 2009 04:34:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Tue, 08 Sep 2009 02:03:58 GMT]]>Wow … 1:30am and still working …


If my kids forget to learn their spelling / study for their test, and it’s bed time, off to bed they go. They just have to flunk the test and learnt the hard way that they need to learn how to manage their time. I get very worked up if they are not in bed by 10pm (by 10:30pm, i will be blowing my top) during school day.

Perhaps you could sit down with your child and draft out a study plan with him / her together. Negotiate with your wife that you would take over the coaching at night during this week’s holiday break, and then tell your child he needs to keep his bargain and stick to the study plan. Let your child know that if he co-operates with you, things might be easier.

Since your wife uses negative words, you need to be EXTREMELY encouraging and positive to your child, let him know you believe in him, that all it matters is that he put in his best effort, and no matter what happens, you will always love him. It is important that your child feels your love, more so during this trying period than ever.

Your unconditional love and believe in him trying his best will keep his morale and confidence from dipping further, and I consider these important too. Give him TONS of hugs and love. Do nothing, sit him on your lap and hug him tight for 5 minutes. No words need to be exchanged. Actions speak louder than words.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56201https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56201Tue, 08 Sep 2009 02:03:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Mon, 07 Sep 2009 13:17:07 GMT]]>oh dear, 1.30am,still coaching your kid?


I think she is too eager to help and has forgotten that he/she is a kid afterall.

Sometime, while coaching, I also over board, but after sitting down, cool down then can think straight...

Maybe, if she has got some friends that she can talk to, she will feel better and see thing from the different light...


rgds
Joy

LionIron:
Hi Jennifer,
Last time she views this website everyday to check my 3rd kid's Pri Sch probability. But after the Username/Password is needed, I think she may have stopped, its also because we got our choiced Pri sch for my 3rd kid !

Sorry, but I started to feel the heat from her again as PSLE draws nearer. Last night she worked my poor kid till 1:30am with lots of Disbelieve words like \"How can you donno this ? I have taught u million times\"... loud enough for 2 floors up and down to here... but its better than last time where u can hear it clearly downstairs.

Hey 12am and expecting the kid to think straight, focus and clear minded ? I can, but not a 12 year old with constant loud voices... can go bananas..

I'm going to start using all the Methods I have jotted down....
Wish me luck !

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56154https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56154Mon, 07 Sep 2009 13:17:07 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Mon, 07 Sep 2009 11:44:23 GMT]]>

LionIron:
Wish me luck !

Wish you and your family all the best.

These days I also find myself shouting more at the youngest one. Hm, must control, control.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56138https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56138Mon, 07 Sep 2009 11:44:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Mon, 07 Sep 2009 09:31:33 GMT]]>

Jennifer:
LionIron:

Frankly I don't know what happened


She is member here and been reading this post?

Hi Jennifer,
Last time she views this website everyday to check my 3rd kid's Pri Sch probability. But after the Username/Password is needed, I think she may have stopped, its also because we got our choiced Pri sch for my 3rd kid !

Sorry, but I started to feel the heat from her again as PSLE draws nearer. Last night she worked my poor kid till 1:30am with lots of Disbelieve words like \"How can you donno this ? I have taught u million times\"... loud enough for 2 floors up and down to here... but its better than last time where u can hear it clearly downstairs.

Hey 12am and expecting the kid to think straight, focus and clear minded ? I can, but not a 12 year old with constant loud voices... can go bananas..

I'm going to start using all the Methods I have jotted down....
Wish me luck !

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56128https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/56128Mon, 07 Sep 2009 09:31:33 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Fri, 04 Sep 2009 08:07:29 GMT]]>

LionIron:
Frankly I don't know what happened

She is member here and been reading this post?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/55764https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/55764Fri, 04 Sep 2009 08:07:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Fri, 04 Sep 2009 05:20:40 GMT]]>Heyya LionIron,


Yer Angerometer very original leh.. I like!

I'm crossing my fingers for you..

:xedfingers:

And hoping the mediocre temperament will
last long enough for you to do something
nice for her to take notice of you for once.

Keep the faith.

You're the kind of man who is one in a
million.. Your patience, loyalty and devotion
to your missus is exemplary and rare in this
world full of many crappy men.

Hope to hear more good news from you soon.
My heart is with your children.. Hope your P6
will do his best for the coming PSLE.

You take care..

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/55692https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/55692Fri, 04 Sep 2009 05:20:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Fri, 04 Sep 2009 05:16:14 GMT]]>LionIron, good to know that you care enough to try and find solutions.

Keep on trying, I am sure one day she will become sensitise to your Angerometer.

Just to let you know being MUM these days = cook, driver, cleaner, academic tutor, sports coach, counseller, problem-solver, parent volunteer, baker, tailor(mend & alter clothes), gardener, project expert, party organiser, practical music guide, music theory guide, dance guide, art&craft expert, games player, decision-maker, friend, domestic manager and perhaps more....

So perhaps if you can identify which load to lift off, it may help in the situation of the quick temper.

Also, in the above list she is serving all the while, here is another list to be served:
1. sign her for a regular hobby to have get-away ME time (gym, baking, etc...)
2. give her surprise SPA treatments
3. book a surprise holiday to get-away together with her
4. allow her to have a monthly hi-tea with her close friends, sth to look fwd to

Hope everything turns out better for you.

PS: I have no time to run thru all the posts so I hope I am not barking up the wrong tree for you with my suggestions. :oops:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/55690https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/55690Fri, 04 Sep 2009 05:16:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Fri, 04 Sep 2009 04:40:16 GMT]]>

LionIron:
My Angerometer scale :

1~20 = Angel
21~40 = Analyst (using it for best results only)
41~60 = Average Joe (mild mannered)
61~80 = Aggressor (blows top quite frequently)
81~100 = Anger (Liverwire)
Haha I like your Angerometer! Even for me... I consider myself an \"Angel\" 90%... But with my son and getting him to do his work etc etc and having to deal with some of his nonsense... Can put me up to \"Agressor\" :x

Continue to show love and patience... I'm sure things will get better for with you and your wife :celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/55678https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/55678Fri, 04 Sep 2009 04:40:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Fri, 04 Sep 2009 03:26:25 GMT]]>After more than 2 weeks of absence, I’m finally back but work has piled-up so much, I have little time for anything.


Updates : A check with my children and maid, gauge of 1~100 in Anger (I think there is no such thing as 0 Anger). They admit she has been good with around 65.
My Angerometer scale :
1~20 = Angel
21~40 = Analyst (using it for best results only)
41~60 = Average Joe (mild mannered)
61~80 = Aggressor (blows top quite frequently)
81~100 = Anger (Liverwire)

I wasn’t very convince as my Pri 6 child just completed Prelims and I thought it was her "cooling-off" timing.

But since PSLE is in 6 weeks time, she may not have been able to "cool-off" as its THE PSLE !

I’m very surprise for the days I was at home, she was really around 65 (mainly to P6 because of alot of school work)
Overall mood was much better really.
Frankly I don’t know what happened but I’m definitely happier than before.

I will update again when PSLE is nearer…
Thanks !

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/55661https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/55661Fri, 04 Sep 2009 03:26:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Fri, 14 Aug 2009 08:00:57 GMT]]>

LionIron:
Thanks to all of you for spending so much time and effort on this forum thread.


I was extremely busy at work this week and next 2 weeks travelling for business work.

I'm so overwhelmed by you care, support, suggestions - I admit it - I shed a few tears ! I realise some of you really cared ! I'm blessed !
Give yourself a HUG from me.

I came across a hand full of friends here admitting that they are also sufferring the same fate as my wife - I'm proud for them to publicly admit their shortcomings. This is your 1st steps to breakaway from your Anger-filled Mould - I believe you will succeed - but pls let your spouses be part of that wonderful journey.

There are so many queries from all of you, I hope I can address some of it to you.

I, like most couples, have a beautiful marriage life before the kids. My wife was never a Steam Boiler from the day I met her.

After 3 kids and 15 years of marriage, she has been a Mother for the last 12 years. She had been my wife for the 1st 3 years.

What actually happened ? I will never know exactly.
Permanent hormonal changes ?
Maternal Instincts Override ?
My 1st 6 years of fatherhood of Neglect ? I admit it- I was a lousy father then. After my 3 kid was born in 2003 - Something in me snapped - I actually want to be a good father. I started mending my ways bit by bit.
The last was 1 big one - I quit smoking after 25years. I have a few more to go.

I guess my unfatherly neglect made her who she is today. She put all her hopes on our children. As she is not working, she may had felt hopeless but to depend on me financially and somewhere down that road, she may have snapped to be who she is today. I hope she still loves me - she never said ILY after you said it like twice. But its replied as \"Love you too\" - short of the \"I\".

I can only hope that the next 6 years (wish it is 6 mins) she will be Snapped again to be the complete Wife and Mother.

I have the patience and faith to see to that + all your TIPS (I'm writing down some of it)

This is a fantastic lesson for me - the Power of Forum. I know where the Great people are - ALL of YOU, just nicknames, without any faces, coming from all walks of life, having the same common goals, aspirations and anxiety for our children. Maybe I bump-into you just now during lunch ?

Thank you.

I'll be back - to tell you the Good News ! soon....
Wow!!you're indeed a great spouse as you know your problem and managed to change.I would say some men might not have the patient to move on and would just walk out of the house.

Keep it up and God lead you out if this \"Darkness\".Take care and hope to hear your good news.God Bless You

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/50882https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/50882Fri, 14 Aug 2009 08:00:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Fri, 14 Aug 2009 05:41:30 GMT]]>Thanks to all of you for spending so much time and effort on this forum thread.


I was extremely busy at work this week and next 2 weeks travelling for business work.

I’m so overwhelmed by you care, support, suggestions - I admit it - I shed a few tears ! I realise some of you really cared ! I’m blessed !
Give yourself a HUG from me.

I came across a hand full of friends here admitting that they are also sufferring the same fate as my wife - I’m proud for them to publicly admit their shortcomings. This is your 1st steps to breakaway from your Anger-filled Mould - I believe you will succeed - but pls let your spouses be part of that wonderful journey.

There are so many queries from all of you, I hope I can address some of it to you.

I, like most couples, have a beautiful marriage life before the kids. My wife was never a Steam Boiler from the day I met her.

After 3 kids and 15 years of marriage, she has been a Mother for the last 12 years. She had been my wife for the 1st 3 years.

What actually happened ? I will never know exactly.
Permanent hormonal changes ?
Maternal Instincts Override ?
My 1st 6 years of fatherhood of Neglect ? I admit it- I was a lousy father then. After my 3 kid was born in 2003 - Something in me snapped - I actually want to be a good father. I started mending my ways bit by bit.
The last was 1 big one - I quit smoking after 25years. I have a few more to go.

I guess my unfatherly neglect made her who she is today. She put all her hopes on our children. As she is not working, she may had felt hopeless but to depend on me financially and somewhere down that road, she may have snapped to be who she is today. I hope she still loves me - she never said ILY after you said it like twice. But its replied as "Love you too" - short of the "I".

I can only hope that the next 6 years (wish it is 6 mins) she will be Snapped again to be the complete Wife and Mother.

I have the patience and faith to see to that + all your TIPS (I’m writing down some of it)

This is a fantastic lesson for me - the Power of Forum. I know where the Great people are - ALL of YOU, just nicknames, without any faces, coming from all walks of life, having the same common goals, aspirations and anxiety for our children. Maybe I bump-into you just now during lunch ?

Thank you.

I’ll be back - to tell you the Good News ! soon…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/50801https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/50801Fri, 14 Aug 2009 05:41:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Thu, 13 Aug 2009 03:11:26 GMT]]>IronLion,


As parents, we naturally have high expectations of our children, and for some wierd reasons, mothers take it a little harder than fathers when the kids are not performing to our expectations. I have learnt that we need to constantly remind ourselves and adjust our expectations so as to not let grades get the better of us.

My thoughts are:

1. We need to be aware that on our deathbed, it is not how many A’s we / our children have scored, but how well we / our children are brought up

2. Strategize with your spouse how best to help your children reach their maximum potential. There are 2 components we must recognize in order to maximize our children’s potential, namely nature and nurture. Nature - what your child is born with, things we can’t change. Nurture - how we guide them in their cause; this, we can influence greatly. Again, whether we break or make the child in the nurturing process depends greatly on our approach.

3. Read the book "The Five Love Languages of Children" by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. It is a very empowering read, that shares how you can tap onto your children’s love languages to better communicate with your children. The improved relationship will definitely see an improvement in almost everything that happens at home, including addressing some behavioural issues of the children. I need to highlight that the authors made references to Bible verses, but that aside, the book is simply fantastic. I began reading this book when I felt that my girl has reached a bottleneck, a glass ceiling. I felt very strongly that the answer to address my girl’s issue can be found in this book, and I also felt that I may be a contributing factor to the issues. I read, and consciously make an effort to apply what I learnt. In a very short time frame, I feel that my girl has crossed the hurdle and broke through the glass ceiling.

4. Involve your child when devising a study plan at home, which must also incorporate play time and free time. Children will always be children. They need to study, but they also need to play and have their own free time. It is only when we address issues of our children’s needs that we will be able to see them take joy in their learning journey. And when children take joy and have fun in their learning journey, results will come in leaps and bounds.

You have been a great husband to your wife and a great dad to your children. Don’t lose heart. We are all with you.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/50219https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/50219Thu, 13 Aug 2009 03:11:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Wed, 12 Aug 2009 07:11:14 GMT]]>Ironlion, haven’t seen you for quite a bit…is everything alright?


Hang in there and be your loving self okay? We’d be here for you!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/49865https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/49865Wed, 12 Aug 2009 07:11:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Wed, 12 Aug 2009 01:06:54 GMT]]>LionIron,


You are a super fantastic hubby! Do continue to be loving!

Jus to share:
I used to flare up when I coach my dd1 or just simply get her to eat her meal quickly. (I’m a SAHM with no maid, so I have to do housework, cooking, bring dd to enrichment classes with dd2). After sometime, I did some reflection. I ask myself, "What do I want my dd to remember me as? A short fuse slavedriver mummy or a patient, gentle mummy?" My conclusion is the latter.

With that, I arm myself with the conviction and pray hard for peace and faith. I tell myself," The more I flare up, the more dd will withdraw into her cave and that will affect the productivity of her acquisition of knowledge. I want to cultivate a positive , loving relationship with her."
I psycho myself with this conviction/decision to love her everyday ,so now I stop flaring up, though I still frown and feel the fire burning in my heart. I try to spend time bonding with dd1 by bringing her out for movie, playing games with her, chit chatting with her about what makes me/her feel happy, sad, angry, disappointed every night before we sleep etc. In between coaching at home, I let her have some mini PE lessons, like wheelbarrow game, sandwich game(where we squeeze and lie on top of each other on the bed) so that her concentration would be better after some exercise. Now that I have established better rapport with her, she sees me as a teacher who can also have fun with her, she’s more motivated in her work.

As for improving your relationship with wife, maybe you can ‘kidnap’ her for a hot date, show her your manly side, put your foot down… Somehow, I feel she is taking you for granted…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/49626https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/49626Wed, 12 Aug 2009 01:06:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Tue, 11 Aug 2009 14:58:49 GMT]]>

cluelessmom:
... and mayb u should buy some korean drama cds to keep her busy.... they are terribly addicting and once she is hooked like me she won't have the free time to supervise the kids...

Great idea, except that even LionIron and his kids might get addicted too... and spend all the time watching them 🙂 I love 大长今. Watched it again... and again... and again until my wife threatened to throw me out of the room if she hears the na-na-na song again.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/49584https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/49584Tue, 11 Aug 2009 14:58:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Tue, 11 Aug 2009 14:52:19 GMT]]>LionIron,


U r a rare gem... kekeke.... dun give up.... Actually, from my survey :oops: , many parents faces the same problem(so ur wife is not wrong), they jus dun have the patience to teach their own kids.... I can hear my neighbour shouting to her kids in exasperation from teaching them and I am sure she can hear me at times... muahahaha.... of course if my hubby's around and when I begin my shouting session, he will reason (if in gd mood lah) wif me tat kids learns thru encouragement and luv and not thru aggression/fear and tat kinda remind me of my school days where I ace all the subjects taught by my favourite teachers and flunked those taught by teachers I disliked. So his presence kept me in check of my emo... so yea pls continue to be there and let ur mighty presence be felt...... and mayb u should buy some korean drama cds to keep her busy.... they are terribly addicting and once she is hooked like me she won't have the free time to supervise the kids..... :lol: bad idea

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/49580https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/49580Tue, 11 Aug 2009 14:52:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to HELP NEEDED BADLY - Wife's temper hitting the roof on Tue, 11 Aug 2009 14:27:17 GMT]]>

Lock:


Many of us are pushing our children to excel academically, that we create tension and stress in the family. In the name of academic excellence and a bright future, we hurt the ones closest to us. Is it all worth it? At the end of this stressful journey, our children may score 250 or higher for PSLE but that is it, nothing else! No love, no happiness!

......

Do not take our loved ones, esp our children for granted. Our kids shd get into the top schs with their efforts and not with us pushing and overstretching them. They deserve to have a happy childhood.
Lock, thank you for the reality check. This is very timely indeed...

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/49559https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/49559Tue, 11 Aug 2009 14:27:17 GMT