How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Fri, 02 Oct 2009 04:24:52 GMT

wonderm — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 04:24:52 GMT

Very true!

Every child is different and every parent is different. Have you been consciously using different approaches to nurture your 2 sons? what is their age gap? Seem that you are a "master" in parenting, would be interesting to hear your experiences.

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Fri, 02 Oct 2009 03:49:35 GMT

sosomum — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 03:49:35 GMT

No lah. Just curious. As every child is different, I just wonder if the nurturing environment has great impact. Motivational impact will be differently felt by both. for eg. i may use a softer approach for DS1 but not for DS2. Nurture vs nature, theory n practical. It’s tough that’s why I’m keen to learn from parents.

Other than child’s nature, the parents temperament make a difference too. You can’t be too harsh, too soft, too naggy, too demanding…etc.
I’m trying and trying to balance. Now is break time (haha).

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Thu, 01 Oct 2009 10:51:56 GMT

wonderm — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 10:51:56 GMT

hi sosomum, he is not the only child. His younger brother is in P5.

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Thu, 01 Oct 2009 08:32:04 GMT

daisyt — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 08:32:04 GMT

hi sosomum, mine is only child. Is there any difference ? :?

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Thu, 01 Oct 2009 08:05:42 GMT

sosomum — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 08:05:42 GMT

Thanks Daisy for your version. That’s right, he needs to think and plan for himself. we did try only holiday schedule and he is slowly adapting to it. He sets the target too but not the effort. I told him to be responsible for his own action. If you want something, you have to work to achieve it. I can try the questioning method, hopefully not to drive him away. He is a passive boy.

Wonderm, Yes, DS in sec 1 neighbourhood school and has not feel the Final exam heat yet. He’s happy in school, back home by 3pm, 5pm the latest. Not much project work or homework. Slightly below average result.

My goal is to motivate him to be self-driven. He has yet to reach his potential.

BTW, are your child the only child or do they have siblings ?

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:39:42 GMT

wonderm — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:39:42 GMT

hi sosomum, how old is your son? Sec 1 too?

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:26:16 GMT

wonderm — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:26:16 GMT

hi sosomum, my son has always been good in his attitude, but not the very mature type (very kiddy). He started to be more motivated in his studies in P6 during his PSLE preparation. I don’t know if it is because he has grown up and naturally become more mature, or because of my coaching (I became SAHM when he was in P6). After entering Sec school, the change becomes even more obvious. He takes more initiative in everything he does including studies and other school activities.

I still guide him a lot though…not in the sense of nagging him to do his work, more to coach him in the various subjects when he encounters questions. I also teach him some skills like self-studying, time management, basic leadership, organization (teamwork) and communication skills etc. I think such skills become more important when they enter secondary schools. In a way, like other mums, I am like his coach cum tutor cum driver -:)

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Thu, 01 Oct 2009 02:27:13 GMT

daisyt — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 02:27:13 GMT

hi sosomum, here would be my own version,

DS : My marks is XX
Me : Oh, what do you think about this mark ?
DS : OK lor
Me : What is OK ? Good or bad or average.

DS : Good
Me : What makes you think is good ? Is it you have tried your best ? Is this the really best you can do ? How about making it excellent by putting a LITTLE more effort ? Do you think its possible ?

(If he says its not possible)
Me : Why is it not possible ? Do you need help ? Which area do you think you need help and what type of help you think is useful to you ?

DS : Bad / Average
Me : What makes you think is bad ? Did you put in your best ? Is there any room for improvement ? How do you think you can improve ? What should you do ? What plan do you have ? Why don't we sit down and come out with a plan or schedule ? What is your target marks for the next exam ?

The idea is keep asking him questions, make him think and plan for himself.

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Wed, 30 Sep 2009 11:06:17 GMT

sosomum — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 11:06:17 GMT

What a blessing! How i admire you. DS1 is kind but not interested in learning. Always choose to do MCQ only. If no push factor, he will not move. Encouragement - i try my best but many time impatience got the upperhand.

DS : My marks is XX
me: Ok
DS : OK meh ?
me: ok, so long as you have try your best. Can you do better the next time ?
DS: Cannot

So, the next time, i change to

me: ok, so long as you have try your best. Next test improve by 5 marks ok ?
DS : No.

Maybe boys \"kai qiao\" slower. :?

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:50:13 GMT

daisyt — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:50:13 GMT

hi sosomum, my girl was not from GEP. I started to see her changes when she was in P5 and P6, but slowly. A more drastic change this year Sec 1 but still has rooms for improvement and hope to see more in future. No specific guiding during PSLE and as I have mentioned, it take me 13 years, day by day, little by little, not something overnight.

BTW, I like your self intro in the newbies section.

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:40:48 GMT

sosomum — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:40:48 GMT

Hi

I realise that most independent, self motivating learner are GEP/IP students. They have a thirst for learning.

Daisy, Wonderm- so happy to read about your children transformation. When do you start seeing their changes in learning ? Do you guide them thru PSLE and then see them driving themselves in the IP ?

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Wed, 23 Sep 2009 01:27:58 GMT

daisyt — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 01:27:58 GMT

RVH

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:29:14 GMT

wonderm — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:29:14 GMT

HCI. How about your girl?

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Tue, 22 Sep 2009 09:58:34 GMT

daisyt — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 09:58:34 GMT

hi wonderm, sure, I agree, every kids are different and their needs are different.

BTW, which IP school your son is in ?

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Tue, 22 Sep 2009 09:11:19 GMT

wonderm — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 09:11:19 GMT

daisyt:
For my case of MTP session, her teacher was trying to persuade me to send my girl for tuition. However, after a family discussion, we (me, hubby and girl) felt that it was not necessary and she was able to work on it herself. True enough, she managed to work through, with help from classmates and teachers.

Since we are in similar phase, just to share with you my view about this. I see tuition different from enrichment classes. My son does not need tuition because he is able to find answers for his questions from so many sources like your girl. I am also glad that he is learning to be proactive and approach his teachers and friends when in doubt.

On the other hand, enrichment classes (for languages at least) exposes them to additional material in both depth and width. Of course, it is not impossible to pick up on their own through lots of reading and self learning, but it will be more effective with the help of enrichment classes. So it is not necessary, but good to have kind of things.

I am sure everyone's situation is different, just my humble opinion.

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Tue, 22 Sep 2009 07:54:42 GMT

daisyt — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 07:54:42 GMT

wonderm:
daisyt, thanks for sharing. I fully agree with you and in fact my boy is 13 too. When he was in kindergarden, he was shy, timid and easy-going (meaning not competitive at all). His kindergarden teacher warned me to be careful, that he may be bullied in school and will not do well in our very competitive education system. Like you, we made an effort to \"help\" him over the years, and we are very pleased that he has grown to be a very happy, motivated boy doing well in Sec 1 (IP school) both academically and socially. In the recent Meet-the-Parent session, his form teacher even jokingly asked us to share our parenting tips. What a change for us!

Hi wonderm, seems we are sharing the same phase.
I see there is still some rooms for improvement on her attitiute, still working hard on this area. No matter how, she is still a kid who need parent's guidance. :lol:

For my case of MTP session, her teacher was trying to persuade me to send my girl for tuition. However, after a family discussion, we (me, hubby and girl) felt that it was not necessary and she was able to work on it herself. True enough, she managed to work through, with help from classmates and teachers.

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Tue, 22 Sep 2009 06:33:53 GMT

wonderm — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 06:33:53 GMT

daisyt:

She was quite a timid child when small. I would push her to try new things by persuade, encourage and praise. Once she made a step forward, I would praise her, regarless whats the outcome and result. Now she is 13, I always tell her, to be fair to yourself and everyone, try it before saying you don't like it.

daisyt, thanks for sharing. I fully agree with you and in fact my boy is 13 too. When he was in kindergarden, he was shy, timid and easy-going (meaning not competitive at all). His kindergarden teacher warned me to be careful, that he may be bullied in school and will not do well in our very competitive education system. Like you, we made an effort to \"help\" him over the years, and we are very pleased that he has grown to be a very happy, motivated boy doing well in Sec 1 (IP school) both academically and socially. In the recent Meet-the-Parent session, his form teacher even jokingly asked us to share our parenting tips. What a change for us!

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Fri, 18 Sep 2009 04:49:00 GMT

lego — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 04:49:00 GMT

daisyt:
All the CCAs in her school are 6 hours a week. 3 hours each day, X 2 days.

haha....i suaku :oops: ..didn't know has to spend so much time on CCA. Thought it's usually once a week only.

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Fri, 18 Sep 2009 04:13:44 GMT

daisyt — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 04:13:44 GMT

lego:
6 hours a week on 1 CCA- Can share what CCA is that?

All the CCAs in her school are 6 hours a week. 3 hours each day, X 2 days.

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Fri, 18 Sep 2009 03:37:20 GMT

lego — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 03:37:20 GMT

daisyt:
But we want her to spend her time on something useful (CCA time is min 6 hours a week), a new skill that she has never encountered before, regardless if its difficult or not. Now, she loves her CCA more than anything and she admits that this CCA is giving her lots of opportunities and experiences that she has never encounted before.

6 hours a week on 1 CCA- Can share what CCA is that?

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Fri, 18 Sep 2009 01:48:00 GMT

daisyt — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 01:48:00 GMT

corrochan:
All good sharing, thanks!

Sometimes I make my kid learn something even as I know he's not enjoying it. And he told me so. I explained that things are not always easy, as in life itself, but he had to just keep on trying - even when he didn't enjoy at first.

Just my sharing.

Hi corrochan, very true !

We had at tough but amazing experience when my girl was choosing her CCA early this year. This CCA was something very new to her and its not an easy one. She kept arguing with us at that time, that CCA must be one not stressful, fun, easy easy type because study already so pressurised. But we want her to spend her time on something useful (CCA time is min 6 hours a week), a new skill that she has never encountered before, regardless if its difficult or not. Now, she loves her CCA more than anything and she admits that this CCA is giving her lots of opportunities and experiences that she has never encounted before. It took her about 6 months to tell me \"Mummy, I love my CCA and never regret joining\". And trust me, the 6 months is not an easy time for us. On the other hand, I have to admit, there is this special quality in her. Once she is into something, even if she does not like it, she would still give her best and adapt into the situation well.

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Thu, 17 Sep 2009 15:15:09 GMT

corrochan — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 15:15:09 GMT

All good sharing, thanks!

Sometimes I make my kid learn something even as I know he’s not enjoying it. And he told me so. I explained that things are not always easy, as in life itself, but he had to just keep on trying - even when he didn’t enjoy at first.

Just my sharing.

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Thu, 17 Sep 2009 04:08:09 GMT

daisyt — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 04:08:09 GMT

I encourage parents to start imparting positive/active/independent learning attitute when the kids are young. You might not see the result soon but I am sure you can see improvement little by little over the years. When the kids grow older, sure you can see some results. Jia you !

One thing to share with all, how my girl cope without tuition all these years. I always encourage her to seek help from classmates and teachers when she face difficulties in school work. She would observe, who are the classmates or seniors good in Math and Science (since she is quite weak on these two). Then she would approach them for help when required. She would also approach teachers after class. In school, when remedial lesson is required, she would attend. When we see some good guide books, we would purchase and she would refer to when needed. So far, she is coping well, although not fantastic results but I feel its good enough.

Reply to How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in our kids on Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:29:43 GMT

daisyt — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:29:43 GMT

As a parent, nothing more rewarding when you kids tell you, \"I CAN DO IT ! Don't worry.\" At a stage, you would feel that awards and results are no longer as rewarding than these 4 words.