Divamama:

I think my post came off as pretty heavy though it wasn't my intention. And I started out just wanting to say that I'm happy to read about other parents' experiences! Thank you all for sharing. And perhaps, for reading/ listening.

2ppaamm:

balletmum:

Sometimes I wonder to myself if I was the one taking the PSLE exam or my kid. I seem to be more anxious over it than my nonchalant kid.


As a parent, we want to provide the best for our kid. As a typical Singaporean parent we go through the routine such as ferrying them for enrichment lessons, provide conducive environment and be as encouraging as possible.

Long time ago, I have gathered from friends that top students are not produced overnight. They are being \"hot house\" and prep with tons of exam papers so as to achieve their maximum potential leading to the PSLE exam. I once believed in that too.

I had a great plan then starting from P1. I was a \"wannabe kiasu\" mum, setting the timetable and giving out the extra assessment and ensuring that kiddo completes her assignment on time. Now comes the hard part. Its easy to assign work but do they get completed? I often break into my unbecoming \"tiger mummy moments\" and end up threathening the child, \"Do this or else no TV!\". This went on for a couple of years with not much progress. Nothing seems to motivate my child.

My DD happens to belong to the group known as \"potential to excel if she puts in more hard work\" type. Some parents would know what I mean. Some kids just needs to be pushed academically, they are extremely bright but has a mind of their own. I remembered asking her around P4, \"don't you want to get into the top Secondary school, so and so is in RGS, don't you aspire to go there?\" Her answer at that time was deemed diplomatic, \" I don't know\".

Well, to give some credit to DD, she gets into the top class with minimal effort. There are alot of smart and hardworking kids in her class who are way ahead of her academically. These are the kids that will end up in the mainstream top schools. But DD is on a different track. She is a talented dancer and sometime around P5, she has quietly decided that she wants to go to SOTA, like some of her seniors in dance school. She broke this decision to me in one of those heart to heart talk between mother and daughter and told me that she has over the years put in so much hardwork building up her dance portfolio and that its time to put into good use. At that moment, my dream of her getting into RGS crushed right in front of me. Why SOTA? I had no knowledge of SOTA other than its an Arts School smack in Orchard Road. Being worried kiasu parents, my immediate reaction was , \"aiyoh, die lah, everyday go Orchard Road jalan jalan how?\"

I refused to give in or talk about it for the next few months. Everytime she mentions SOTA, I just ask her not to waste time talking about it as she is not going there. Dancing is just CCA, just focus on PSLE and everything else will be fine. After many months of praying and speaking with parents who have kids going to SOTA, it just dawned upon me one day that I was being really selfish. I shut my girl off for pursuing her dream, her passion and all these years of dancing and winning dance competitions all came down to this harsh reality.... am I going to deny her of a DSA chance to get into SOTA?

My heart started to soften and I began to search the SOTA website for information. I attended the symposium talk and open house and even allowed her to join its Junior Academy. By now, I am convinced that SOTA is really for the artistically gifted child who wants to pursue their passion on top of being academically focus. Not every child's destiny is to go to the top schools even if their results qualify them to.

My DD has finished her SOTA auditions and we will know the outcome in early August. In any case, my advice to all \"kiasu wannabe\" parents, don't typecast your child too early. Every child is different and they respond to the carrot differently. Some will bite, some just won't.

For myself, I am just going to chill and wait for the DSA outcome and continue to be encouraging and supportive. I have come a long way and I know many parents are just as anxious about the school choices to pick. Sometimes, it may be good to ask the child about their choice. Some parents may wonder how do they decide at age 12? Well, you might be surprised what goes on in their young minds. After all, they are ones taking the PSLE, not you.

For some reason, I stopped getting notice from this thread. I actually forgot about this thread until I did a search on google today on something else.

So how did the PSLE/DSA go? I hope everything worked out fine. Sometimes we are over anxious over such processes, and ten years from now, we will look back and wonder what it would have been had we chosen to take an easier/harder stand.

Someone once told me that the most successful people are not those who are the brightest or the ones with the best educations, but the ones who know what they want to do the youngest. Kudos to the little ones who have a passion from young, and IMO, it doesn't even matter if they choose to pursue the same passion to the end.

balletmum:

Sometimes I wonder to myself if I was the one taking the PSLE exam or my kid. I seem to be more anxious over it than my nonchalant kid.


As a parent, we want to provide the best for our kid. As a typical Singaporean parent we go through the routine such as ferrying them for enrichment lessons, provide conducive environment and be as encouraging as possible.

Long time ago, I have gathered from friends that top students are not produced overnight. They are being \"hot house\" and prep with tons of exam papers so as to achieve their maximum potential leading to the PSLE exam. I once believed in that too.

I had a great plan then starting from P1. I was a \"wannabe kiasu\" mum, setting the timetable and giving out the extra assessment and ensuring that kiddo completes her assignment on time. Now comes the hard part. Its easy to assign work but do they get completed? I often break into my unbecoming \"tiger mummy moments\" and end up threathening the child, \"Do this or else no TV!\". This went on for a couple of years with not much progress. Nothing seems to motivate my child.

My DD happens to belong to the group known as \"potential to excel if she puts in more hard work\" type. Some parents would know what I mean. Some kids just needs to be pushed academically, they are extremely bright but has a mind of their own. I remembered asking her around P4, \"don't you want to get into the top Secondary school, so and so is in RGS, don't you aspire to go there?\" Her answer at that time was deemed diplomatic, \" I don't know\".

Well, to give some credit to DD, she gets into the top class with minimal effort. There are alot of smart and hardworking kids in her class who are way ahead of her academically. These are the kids that will end up in the mainstream top schools. But DD is on a different track. She is a talented dancer and sometime around P5, she has quietly decided that she wants to go to SOTA, like some of her seniors in dance school. She broke this decision to me in one of those heart to heart talk between mother and daughter and told me that she has over the years put in so much hardwork building up her dance portfolio and that its time to put into good use. At that moment, my dream of her getting into RGS crushed right in front of me. Why SOTA? I had no knowledge of SOTA other than its an Arts School smack in Orchard Road. Being worried kiasu parents, my immediate reaction was , \"aiyoh, die lah, everyday go Orchard Road jalan jalan how?\"

I refused to give in or talk about it for the next few months. Everytime she mentions SOTA, I just ask her not to waste time talking about it as she is not going there. Dancing is just CCA, just focus on PSLE and everything else will be fine. After many months of praying and speaking with parents who have kids going to SOTA, it just dawned upon me one day that I was being really selfish. I shut my girl off for pursuing her dream, her passion and all these years of dancing and winning dance competitions all came down to this harsh reality.... am I going to deny her of a DSA chance to get into SOTA?

My heart started to soften and I began to search the SOTA website for information. I attended the symposium talk and open house and even allowed her to join its Junior Academy. By now, I am convinced that SOTA is really for the artistically gifted child who wants to pursue their passion on top of being academically focus. Not every child's destiny is to go to the top schools even if their results qualify them to.

My DD has finished her SOTA auditions and we will know the outcome in early August. In any case, my advice to all \"kiasu wannabe\" parents, don't typecast your child too early. Every child is different and they respond to the carrot differently. Some will bite, some just won't.

For myself, I am just going to chill and wait for the DSA outcome and continue to be encouraging and supportive. I have come a long way and I know many parents are just as anxious about the school choices to pick. Sometimes, it may be good to ask the child about their choice. Some parents may wonder how do they decide at age 12? Well, you might be surprised what goes on in their young minds. After all, they are ones taking the PSLE, not you.

balletmum:

bebe:

Thanks for sharing...my #2 (now in P4) inspires to go SOTA and your post is like a wake up call to me..I kept telling her..do well in your studies and you can choose to go to any school you want..but in my heart, I am not mentally prepared her to do that route..at least not now. Perhaps, I shd read up more about SOTA before i decide further..

Hi Bebe, do attend SOTA's symposium and open house for more info. There is still time for your kid and yourself to decide. Anyway SOTA only accept students through their talent camp held once year. There is really no harm trying for it and see if your kid can get the CO. You can always decide later.

balletmum:

Dreamgear:

[quote=\"balletmum\"]Sometimes I wonder to myself if I was the one taking the PSLE exam or my kid. I seem to be more anxious over it than my nonchalant kid.


As a parent, we want to provide the best for our kid. As a typical Singaporean parent we go through the routine such as ferrying them for enrichment lessons, provide conducive environment and be as encouraging as possible.

Long time ago, I have gathered from friends that top students are not produced overnight. They are being \"hot house\" and prep with tons of exam papers so as to achieve their maximum potential leading to the PSLE exam. I once believed in that too.

I had a great plan then starting from P1. I was a \"wannabe kiasu\" mum, setting the timetable and giving out the extra assessment and ensuring that kiddo completes her assignment on time. Now comes the hard part. Its easy to assign work but do they get completed? I often break into my unbecoming \"tiger mummy moments\" and end up threathening the child, \"Do this or else no TV!\". This went on for a couple of years with not much progress. Nothing seems to motivate my child.

My DD happens to belong to the group known as \"potential to excel if she puts in more hard work\" type. Some parents would know what I mean. Some kids just needs to be pushed academically, they are extremely bright but has a mind of their own. I remembered asking her around P4, \"don't you want to get into the top Secondary school, so and so is in RGS, don't you aspire to go there?\" Her answer at that time was deemed diplomatic, \" I don't know\".

Well, to give some credit to DD, she gets into the top class with minimal effort. There are alot of smart and hardworking kids in her class who are way ahead of her academically. These are the kids that will end up in the mainstream top schools. But DD is on a different track. She is a talented dancer and sometime around P5, she has quietly decided that she wants to go to SOTA, like some of her seniors in dance school. She broke this decision to me in one of those heart to heart talk between mother and daughter and told me that she has over the years put in so much hardwork building up her dance portfolio and that its time to put into good use. At that moment, my dream of her getting into RGS crushed right in front of me. Why SOTA? I had no knowledge of SOTA other than its an Arts School smack in Orchard Road. Being worried kiasu parents, my immediate reaction was , \"aiyoh, die lah, everyday go Orchard Road jalan jalan how?\"

I refused to give in or talk about it for the next few months. Everytime she mentions SOTA, I just ask her not to waste time talking about it as she is not going there. Dancing is just CCA, just focus on PSLE and everything else will be fine. After many months of praying and speaking with parents who have kids going to SOTA, it just dawned upon me one day that I was being really selfish. I shut my girl off for pursuing her dream, her passion and all these years of dancing and winning dance competitions all came down to this harsh reality.... am I going to deny her of a DSA chance to get into SOTA?

My heart started to soften and I began to search the SOTA website for information. I attended the symposium talk and open house and even allowed her to join its Junior Academy. By now, I am convinced that SOTA is really for the artistically gifted child who wants to pursue their passion on top of being academically focus. Not every child's destiny is to go to the top schools even if their results qualify them to.

My DD has finished her SOTA auditions and we will know the outcome in early August. In any case, my advice to all \"kiasu wannabe\" parents, don't typecast your child too early. Every child is different and they respond to the carrot differently. Some will bite, some just won't.

For myself, I am just going to chill and wait for the DSA outcome and continue to be encouraging and supportive. I have come a long way and I know many parents are just as anxious about the school choices to pick. Sometimes, it may be good to ask the child about their choice. Some parents may wonder how do they decide at age 12? Well, you might be surprised what goes on in their young minds. After all, they are ones taking the PSLE, not you.

Happy that it turn out this way. I know of a case where the boy was invited to audition and subsequently awarded CO. But the parents thinking was traditional and thus did not take up the CO.

Today the boy is in express with borderline results and lost all interest in music... The parents are now regreting their decision....

just.learn.lah:

balletmum:

My DD has finished her SOTA auditions and we will know the outcome in early August. In any case, my advice to all \"kiasu wannabe\" parents, don't typecast your child too early. Every child is different and they respond to the carrot differently. Some will bite, some just won't.

For myself, I am just going to chill and wait for the DSA outcome and continue to be encouraging and supportive. I have come a long way and I know many parents are just as anxious about the school choices to pick. Sometimes, it may be good to ask the child about their choice. Some parents may wonder how do they decide at age 12? Well, you might be surprised what goes on in their young minds. After all, they are ones taking the PSLE, not you.

BeContented:

Balletmum, your story touched my heart :love:

My 2 kids tho are doing fine academically, both have no goal or idea what they want in life yet.....so I'm still waiting for the day when they will tell me what they would like to do in future.
I always find it very amazing for kids so young to have such strong passion and it also takes enlightened parents to be able to support their kids to take a different path.

All the best to your gal DSA & PSLE.

balletmum:

My DD has finished her SOTA auditions and we will know the outcome in early August. In any case, my advice to all \"kiasu wannabe\" parents, don't typecast your child too early. Every child is different and they respond to the carrot differently. Some will bite, some just won't.

For myself, I am just going to chill and wait for the DSA outcome and continue to be encouraging and supportive. I have come a long way and I know many parents are just as anxious about the school choices to pick. Sometimes, it may be good to ask the child about their choice. Some parents may wonder how do they decide at age 12? Well, you might be surprised what goes on in their young minds. After all, they are ones taking the PSLE, not you.

icy_mama:

thanks for sharing, balletmum, your dd is your namesake. best wishes to your dd. hope she'd get to follow her heart. not many kids at this age knows what they really want. she's blessed.

Wimpy Kid:

:thankyou: for sharing,balletmum.

All the best to your dd for DSA!!

bebe:

Thanks for sharing...my #2 (now in P4) inspires to go SOTA and your post is like a wake up call to me..I kept telling her..do well in your studies and you can choose to go to any school you want..but in my heart, I am not mentally prepared her to do that route..at least not now. Perhaps, I shd read up more about SOTA before i decide further..

Bluebottle:

balletmum:

I remembered asking her around P4, \"don't you want to get into the top Secondary school, so and so is in RGS, don't you aspire to go there?\" Her answer at that time was deemed diplomatic, \" I don't know\".
...
At that moment, my dream of her getting into RGS crushed right in front of me.

Thanks for sharing! Just curious, were you from RGS? Wonder if mums from RGS feel a greater desire for their girls to go to the same school...

Bluebottle:

balletmum:

I remembered asking her around P4, \"don't you want to get into the top Secondary school, so and so is in RGS, don't you aspire to go there?\" Her answer at that time was deemed diplomatic, \" I don't know\".
...
At that moment, my dream of her getting into RGS crushed right in front of me.

Thanks for sharing! Just curious, were you from RGS? Wonder if mums from RGS feel a greater desire for their girls to go to the same school...

balletmum:

I remembered asking her around P4, \"don't you want to get into the top Secondary school, so and so is in RGS, don't you aspire to go there?\" Her answer at that time was deemed diplomatic, \" I don't know\".
...
At that moment, my dream of her getting into RGS crushed right in front of me.

Dreamgear:

balletmum:

Sometimes I wonder to myself if I was the one taking the PSLE exam or my kid. I seem to be more anxious over it than my nonchalant kid.


As a parent, we want to provide the best for our kid. As a typical Singaporean parent we go through the routine such as ferrying them for enrichment lessons, provide conducive environment and be as encouraging as possible.

Long time ago, I have gathered from friends that top students are not produced overnight. They are being \"hot house\" and prep with tons of exam papers so as to achieve their maximum potential leading to the PSLE exam. I once believed in that too.

I had a great plan then starting from P1. I was a \"wannabe kiasu\" mum, setting the timetable and giving out the extra assessment and ensuring that kiddo completes her assignment on time. Now comes the hard part. Its easy to assign work but do they get completed? I often break into my unbecoming \"tiger mummy moments\" and end up threathening the child, \"Do this or else no TV!\". This went on for a couple of years with not much progress. Nothing seems to motivate my child.

My DD happens to belong to the group known as \"potential to excel if she puts in more hard work\" type. Some parents would know what I mean. Some kids just needs to be pushed academically, they are extremely bright but has a mind of their own. I remembered asking her around P4, \"don't you want to get into the top Secondary school, so and so is in RGS, don't you aspire to go there?\" Her answer at that time was deemed diplomatic, \" I don't know\".

Well, to give some credit to DD, she gets into the top class with minimal effort. There are alot of smart and hardworking kids in her class who are way ahead of her academically. These are the kids that will end up in the mainstream top schools. But DD is on a different track. She is a talented dancer and sometime around P5, she has quietly decided that she wants to go to SOTA, like some of her seniors in dance school. She broke this decision to me in one of those heart to heart talk between mother and daughter and told me that she has over the years put in so much hardwork building up her dance portfolio and that its time to put into good use. At that moment, my dream of her getting into RGS crushed right in front of me. Why SOTA? I had no knowledge of SOTA other than its an Arts School smack in Orchard Road. Being worried kiasu parents, my immediate reaction was , \"aiyoh, die lah, everyday go Orchard Road jalan jalan how?\"

I refused to give in or talk about it for the next few months. Everytime she mentions SOTA, I just ask her not to waste time talking about it as she is not going there. Dancing is just CCA, just focus on PSLE and everything else will be fine. After many months of praying and speaking with parents who have kids going to SOTA, it just dawned upon me one day that I was being really selfish. I shut my girl off for pursuing her dream, her passion and all these years of dancing and winning dance competitions all came down to this harsh reality.... am I going to deny her of a DSA chance to get into SOTA?

My heart started to soften and I began to search the SOTA website for information. I attended the symposium talk and open house and even allowed her to join its Junior Academy. By now, I am convinced that SOTA is really for the artistically gifted child who wants to pursue their passion on top of being academically focus. Not every child's destiny is to go to the top schools even if their results qualify them to.

My DD has finished her SOTA auditions and we will know the outcome in early August. In any case, my advice to all \"kiasu wannabe\" parents, don't typecast your child too early. Every child is different and they respond to the carrot differently. Some will bite, some just won't.

For myself, I am just going to chill and wait for the DSA outcome and continue to be encouraging and supportive. I have come a long way and I know many parents are just as anxious about the school choices to pick. Sometimes, it may be good to ask the child about their choice. Some parents may wonder how do they decide at age 12? Well, you might be surprised what goes on in their young minds. After all, they are ones taking the PSLE, not you.

Happy that it turn out this way. I know of a case where the boy was invited to audition and subsequently awarded CO. But the parents thinking was traditional and thus did not take up the CO.

Today the boy is in express with borderline results and lost all interest in music... The parents are now regreting their decision....

BeContented:

Balletmum, your story touched my heart :love:

My 2 kids tho are doing fine academically, both have no goal or idea what they want in life yet.....so I'm still waiting for the day when they will tell me what they would like to do in future.
I always find it very amazing for kids so young to have such strong passion and it also takes enlightened parents to be able to support their kids to take a different path.

All the best to your gal DSA & PSLE.

balletmum:

Sometimes I wonder to myself if I was the one taking the PSLE exam or my kid. I seem to be more anxious over it than my nonchalant kid.


As a parent, we want to provide the best for our kid. As a typical Singaporean parent we go through the routine such as ferrying them for enrichment lessons, provide conducive environment and be as encouraging as possible.

Long time ago, I have gathered from friends that top students are not produced overnight. They are being \"hot house\" and prep with tons of exam papers so as to achieve their maximum potential leading to the PSLE exam. I once believed in that too.

I had a great plan then starting from P1. I was a \"wannabe kiasu\" mum, setting the timetable and giving out the extra assessment and ensuring that kiddo completes her assignment on time. Now comes the hard part. Its easy to assign work but do they get completed? I often break into my unbecoming \"tiger mummy moments\" and end up threathening the child, \"Do this or else no TV!\". This went on for a couple of years with not much progress. Nothing seems to motivate my child.

My DD happens to belong to the group known as \"potential to excel if she puts in more hard work\" type. Some parents would know what I mean. Some kids just needs to be pushed academically, they are extremely bright but has a mind of their own. I remembered asking her around P4, \"don't you want to get into the top Secondary school, so and so is in RGS, don't you aspire to go there?\" Her answer at that time was deemed diplomatic, \" I don't know\".

Well, to give some credit to DD, she gets into the top class with minimal effort. There are alot of smart and hardworking kids in her class who are way ahead of her academically. These are the kids that will end up in the mainstream top schools. But DD is on a different track. She is a talented dancer and sometime around P5, she has quietly decided that she wants to go to SOTA, like some of her seniors in dance school. She broke this decision to me in one of those heart to heart talk between mother and daughter and told me that she has over the years put in so much hardwork building up her dance portfolio and that its time to put into good use. At that moment, my dream of her getting into RGS crushed right in front of me. Why SOTA? I had no knowledge of SOTA other than its an Arts School smack in Orchard Road. Being worried kiasu parents, my immediate reaction was , \"aiyoh, die lah, everyday go Orchard Road jalan jalan how?\"

I refused to give in or talk about it for the next few months. Everytime she mentions SOTA, I just ask her not to waste time talking about it as she is not going there. Dancing is just CCA, just focus on PSLE and everything else will be fine. After many months of praying and speaking with parents who have kids going to SOTA, it just dawned upon me one day that I was being really selfish. I shut my girl off for pursuing her dream, her passion and all these years of dancing and winning dance competitions all came down to this harsh reality.... am I going to deny her of a DSA chance to get into SOTA?

My heart started to soften and I began to search the SOTA website for information. I attended the symposium talk and open house and even allowed her to join its Junior Academy. By now, I am convinced that SOTA is really for the artistically gifted child who wants to pursue their passion on top of being academically focus. Not every child's destiny is to go to the top schools even if their results qualify them to.

My DD has finished her SOTA auditions and we will know the outcome in early August. In any case, my advice to all \"kiasu wannabe\" parents, don't typecast your child too early. Every child is different and they respond to the carrot differently. Some will bite, some just won't.

For myself, I am just going to chill and wait for the DSA outcome and continue to be encouraging and supportive. I have come a long way and I know many parents are just as anxious about the school choices to pick. Sometimes, it may be good to ask the child about their choice. Some parents may wonder how do they decide at age 12? Well, you might be surprised what goes on in their young minds. After all, they are ones taking the PSLE, not you.