slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2082298\" time=\"1663294031\" user_id=\"28674:

I know several families with adopted kids, and 1 family which has fostered several kids over the years, and ended up adopting 2 of them (to add to their 4 kids!). All I can say is that some people really have compassionate hearts, and I am full of respect for them. I don't think I could cope with fostered/adopted kids, especially as they tend to be traumatised and needy, or have special needs.

As for seeking out biological parents - I see nothing bad about that. If the relationship between child and adoptive parents is strong, adding another set of parents won't affect the relationship adversely in the long run.

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2082293\" time=\"1663292104\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2082293 time=1663292104 user_id=195250]
What is wrong when the kids want to find their biological mother? :?

I am a step mother, my step son sometimes stay with me and DH and sometimes stay with his own biological mother and step father. Should I stop showing my love on him?[/quote]

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2082293\" time=\"1663292104\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2082293 time=1663292104 user_id=195250]
What is wrong when the kids want to find their biological mother? :?

I am a step mother, my step son sometimes stay with me and DH and sometimes stay with his own biological mother and step father. Should I stop showing my love on him?[/quote]

janet88\" post_id=\"2082291\" time=\"1663290967\" user_id=\"12950:

I saw this pop up counter at Clementi mall sometime back regarding child adoption.
It’s really not easy to adopt a child. Even with the same amount of love showered on the child like own child, will he/she want to find biological parents one day? I remember when my kids were much younger and gave me problems, it was hard to handle. When my daughter was rebellious at 15/16, it was so stressful. But then they are my kids.

janet88\" post_id=\"2082291\" time=\"1663290967\" user_id=\"12950:

I saw this pop up counter at Clementi mall sometime back regarding child adoption.
It’s really not easy to adopt a child. Even with the same amount of love showered on the child like own child, will he/she want to find biological parents one day? I remember when my kids were much younger and gave me problems, it was hard to handle. When my daughter was rebellious at 15/16, it was so stressful. But then they are my kids.

mum03:

Cinta:

hi, anyone noe how long will be the adoption process n how much is d legal fees....txs

It took nearly a year to complete the adoption. Has for legal fees, if I am not wrong it was about $2000. Hope it helps

Cinta:

hi, anyone noe how long will be the adoption process n how much is d legal fees....txs

EN:

My father gave more attention and love to my sister's daughter. He said, my kids have all the things in the world and my niece should have more too. I don't mind such remarks. Knowing my father, he indulges all his grandchildren but more to my niece earlier on as my sister was a sahm. My mother doesn't show her reservation but told me that she does not feel close to my niece. I reason with my mum that the reason she feels closer to my kids are because, she look after mine and not my niece. Looking after my children will remind her of my naughtiness but for my niece, there's no similarities to my sister. I understood how my mum feels. They just came back from a short vacation. I hope the short vacation will make my mum feel closer to her other grandchild.

EN:

I dont have experience of adopting a child but my niece is adopted. My sister after her first miscarriage is not able to conceive as her womb is weak.


My niece is not aware she is adopted. When she was about 3 years old, my sister brought my niece to see her elder sisters and little brother in the neighbouring country. Her natural mother just died of motor cycle accident pregnant with her 5th child. Her natural father lost among the addicts, not sure if he is dead or alive.

My sister and her hubby loves their daughter very much. Both my kids adore their cousin and my children are not told of their cousin history either. My father dots on this beautiful child. My mum loves her too but I could sense some reservation and biasness towards her own flesh and blood.

EN:

I dont have experience of adopting a child but my niece is adopted. My sister after her first miscarriage is not able to conceive as her womb is weak.


My niece is not aware she is adopted. When she was about 3 years old, my sister brought my niece to see her elder sisters and little brother in the neighbouring country. Her natural mother just died of motor cycle accident pregnant with her 5th child. Her natural father lost among the addicts, not sure if he is dead or alive.

My sister and her hubby loves their daughter very much. Both my kids adore their cousin and my children are not told of their cousin history either. My father dots on this beautiful child. My mum loves her too but I could sense some reservation and biasness towards her own flesh and blood.

GreenQ:

cmm:

,,,As the baby grew older, they soon realised that he's from a different race (possibly malay) from his skin color, which was not so obvious when he was a newborn, though they were assured that the baby was chinese at the point of adoption...

Oh... similar story here. I thought adoption party hardly make mistake on different race of baby? :roll:

I know of one couple who has adopted a baby girl. This couple is my good friend's brother & sis-in-law. A very beautiful baby with big eyes. She has darker skin when she was a baby. When she grows up, it is very obvious that she is a malay girl! She has curly hair too. However they were assured that the baby was from a chinese lady at the point of adoption. (May be the father of this baby is a malay guy? :idea:)

This couple felt quite sad. But luckily they love this adopted child very much and treat her as their own. This adopted child is 10 years old now. I think she can tell by herself she is an adopted child. Very obvious.

cmm:

,,,As the baby grew older, they soon realised that he's from a different race (possibly malay) from his skin color, which was not so obvious when he was a newborn, though they were assured that the baby was chinese at the point of adoption...

carebear:

mum03:

Has I could see that people adopt for different reason. Has mentioned the couple who adopted the little boy, as shown more love to him then to their own biological child. He is so happy and contented. They treat him like their own.


I have no reservation of adopting a child with open arms. If I could give someone who are deprived of love and a home, it could be a blessing. Loving the child should be unconditional,should not accept any gains from it ( they will look after me when I grow old), not even sure whether our own children will look after us.
I have always thought of this option in my life, where I could give a child a home and love.

A close friend of mine adopted a child. They do not have a child of their own, after many years of marriage. Ever since this child came into their life, they have become a complete family. I have seen so much of love been showered on her. She is now school going age. She is one of the top student in her school. The adoptive parents give her and send her to all the enrichment classes she need, not forgetting the holidays she take to far away country. The child does not know that they are her adoptive parents. No outsider will know unless, it is been told.
They want her to have a complete family. Their say the child has brought life into them, they will try to give her everything, and accept nothing in return. They are such a closely knitted family, that it brings tears to me.
It takes alot of courage and openess, to love someone other then your own flesh and blood.

What if they later have a child or children of their own?

mum03:

Has I could see that people adopt for different reason. Has mentioned the couple who adopted the little boy, as shown more love to him then to their own biological child. He is so happy and contented. They treat him like their own.


I have no reservation of adopting a child with open arms. If I could give someone who are deprived of love and a home, it could be a blessing. Loving the child should be unconditional,should not accept any gains from it ( they will look after me when I grow old), not even sure whether our own children will look after us.
I have always thought of this option in my life, where I could give a child a home and love.

A close friend of mine adopted a child. They do not have a child of their own, after many years of marriage. Ever since this child came into their life, they have become a complete family. I have seen so much of love been showered on her. She is now school going age. She is one of the top student in her school. The adoptive parents give her and send her to all the enrichment classes she need, not forgetting the holidays she take to far away country. The child does not know that they are her adoptive parents. No outsider will know unless, it is been told.
They want her to have a complete family. Their say the child has brought life into them, they will try to give her everything, and accept nothing in return. They are such a closely knitted family, that it brings tears to me.
It takes alot of courage and openess, to love someone other then your own flesh and blood.