<![CDATA[Sometimes we forget to remember]]>Hello everyone,


Most, if not all, of us are working. Why do we work? The obvious answer is - to support the family.

However, many a times we sometimes forget that the very reason for work is - the family. And based on my experience, I have seen, how many children fall victim of neglect to the four-letter word. (Now don’t get me wrong… I’m not against work!!)

What I am trying to say here is sometimes we forget to remember that at the end of the day… Without work, we still have a family. Yes, as idealistic as I may sound, most of us do not have the luxury of earning as much as we would like for the family. And with the high standard of living, nobody in their right mind(except me, I suppose…lol) would even consider being a stay-at-home-full-time-parent. But we must remember that, it is not the Big Bucks that gives value to our lives - it’s the time we spend with our love ones that adds meaning to our lives.

Which reminds me of a story of a hard-working career man who was lying on his death-bed. Asked what if he could spend one more day alive, what would he do? His answer was to spend his last day with his family and loved ones. (NOT to spend it at the office or spend it with his boss)

Again I would like to stress that I have nothing against work. I just hope to remind ourselves and myself that there are more important things in life. As Shakespeare once said,"The choices we make, dictates the lives that we live… To Thyself be true."

Regards
exTEACHER

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/6330/sometimes-we-forget-to-rememberRSS for NodeSat, 18 Apr 2026 22:16:29 GMTWed, 28 Oct 2009 12:39:51 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Thu, 25 Feb 2010 12:23:05 GMT]]>:rotflmao: I think its not related to ur topic.

He shd be asking Chief or mod.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130960https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130960Thu, 25 Feb 2010 12:23:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Thu, 25 Feb 2010 09:27:51 GMT]]>@ Muffins - Is that a trick question or what?... :?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130869https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130869Thu, 25 Feb 2010 09:27:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 13:03:36 GMT]]>:offtopic: but how come sometimes jedamum's picture is of a singing opera lady and at other times of a yummy, fudgy chocolate cake? (:drool:)

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129943https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129943Wed, 24 Feb 2010 13:03:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 11:41:06 GMT]]>Very aptly put ChiefKiasu...


But feel more like a sleeping dog... u know what they say abt them... hehehe

Anyway here's wishing everyone here a GLORIOUS year of the Tiger!!
:celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129885https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129885Wed, 24 Feb 2010 11:41:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:04:03 GMT]]>

exTEACHER:
Hello everyone....


Been bz lately. Sooooo finally I'm back.

Really this post should be titled... Sometimes I forget to remember.. lolx

Now I'm teaching in the mornings and evenings.. soo tiring! :stupid:

Finally got time to log into KSP. Well, cheers and if it's not too late to say - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
It's Happy CNY now, exTEACHER 🙂 You're like Rip Van Winkle, waking up after a long slumber 🙂

Anyway, welcome back 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/128999https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/128999Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:04:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Tue, 23 Feb 2010 09:25:12 GMT]]>Hello everyone....


Been bz lately. Sooooo finally I'm back.

Really this post should be titled... Sometimes I forget to remember.. lolx

Now I'm teaching in the mornings and evenings.. soo tiring! :stupid:

Finally got time to log into KSP. Well, cheers and if it's not too late to say - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/128866https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/128866Tue, 23 Feb 2010 09:25:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:02:28 GMT]]>Hi all.in.one,


Don't despair 😄 You can still find 'old time' games like marbles, happy families, old maids (card games), yos yos, chaptek etc at the party shops near queen street. They were formerly from Concourse. That's where I got the cards and marbles from.

Some games I have fond memories of are 'catching', 'hopscotch', 'what is the time mr wolf' etc.. with the neighbourhood kids in the estate I used to live in. Somehow, I also had an affinity for drains - I used to love hiding there and would explore them. Really can't fathom why now.

Yes, hard to recreate a kampong environment now for our kids, but we can still improvise ... right?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/72124https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/72124Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:02:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Thu, 05 Nov 2009 07:08:38 GMT]]>Agree. Im a FTWM and i rush home everyday to pick my son up. We will hold hand together and wait for Daddy car to reach the CCC. after his dinner, i will spend 2 hrs reading and doing writing activities with him, followed by documentary show of 15mins and finally a chit chat of 10 mins before he sleep.

If you are a FTWM that work all day long, at least spend time with yr kids on weekend. there is some FTWM that still leaves their child at home with maid on weekend and go for facial, meni and pedicure, shopping.. only to find their child sleeping when they reached home at night...
Its not surprising to find the child being attached to the maid instead of his/her Mummy..

schellen:
I understand that but if they want kids in the first place, they should make the effort to spend time with them, dual income necessity or not. I am a FTWM and I make sure to spend time with my DD even after a long day at work, reaching home late and having lots of chores to do with no maid.

If you think about it, what's the point of having dual incomes so that they can support the kids when they don't even have time for the kids? Might as well not have kids in the first place. Having kids out of obligation to elders, spouse, etc. is a no-no for me; if and when I want kids, it will be a mutual desire for them for me and DH.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71996https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71996Thu, 05 Nov 2009 07:08:38 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Thu, 05 Nov 2009 06:21:11 GMT]]>

kiasimom:
tamarind:


Do not doubt your self worth. You are giving the best to your kids ! Kids of SAHM generally do better than kids of FTWM.
I know FTWMs who work all day, and spend almost no time with kids. The kids are practically raised by maids. I wonder why these mommies want to have kids in the first place ?

I think maybe they need to have dual incomes to support the family?

I understand that but if they want kids in the first place, they should make the effort to spend time with them, dual income necessity or not. I am a FTWM and I make sure to spend time with my DD even after a long day at work, reaching home late and having lots of chores to do with no maid.

If you think about it, what's the point of having dual incomes so that they can support the kids when they don't even have time for the kids? Might as well not have kids in the first place. Having kids out of obligation to elders, spouse, etc. is a no-no for me; if and when I want kids, it will be a mutual desire for them for me and DH.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71948https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71948Thu, 05 Nov 2009 06:21:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Thu, 05 Nov 2009 06:11:01 GMT]]>

tamarind:

Do not doubt your self worth. You are giving the best to your kids ! Kids of SAHM generally do better than kids of FTWM.
I know FTWMs who work all day, and spend almost no time with kids. The kids are practically raised by maids. I wonder why these mommies want to have kids in the first place ?
I think maybe they need to have dual incomes to support the family?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71933https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71933Thu, 05 Nov 2009 06:11:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Thu, 05 Nov 2009 06:09:54 GMT]]>After reading the entire forum, I am so touched 😢 What a wonderful bunch of mums and dads (myself included haha..) who sacrifices so much for our children. I am begining to see light at the end of the tunnel. Ever since I became a SAHM also by circumstances (too stressed at work to conceive), I have been doubting my decision and my self worth so much! And there was no one for me to talk to about all these emotions inside! Now I am reassured that I have made a personal choice that I will never regret! Thanks to all of you (FTWM/D and SAHM/D) :lovesite:[/quote]


Hi all.in.one,
Just like you I am a SAHM, and whenever I have any questions on parenting, I will come to KSP and ask and talk, so you are not alone 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71932https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71932Thu, 05 Nov 2009 06:09:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:16:54 GMT]]>Try these places for longkang fishing(but no eels) :

http://www.qianhu.com/
http://www.prkidskampong.com/

[quote]Ever since I became a SAHM also by circumstances (too stressed at work to conceive), I have been doubting my decision and my self worth so much![/quote]Do not doubt your self worth. You are giving the best to your kids ! Kids of SAHM generally do better than kids of FTWM.
I know FTWMs who work all day, and spend almost no time with kids. The kids are practically raised by maids. I wonder why these mommies want to have kids in the first place ?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71776https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71776Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:16:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:10:15 GMT]]>

exTEACHER:
Ahhh while u at the aquarium...


Check if they have eels...
lol

exTEACHER
Usually I will leave such things to my DH as he is the expert! :lol:

After reading the entire forum, I am so touched 😢 What a wonderful bunch of mums and dads (myself included haha..) who sacrifices so much for our children. I am begining to see light at the end of the tunnel. Ever since I became a SAHM also by circumstances (too stressed at work to conceive), I have been doubting my decision and my self worth so much! And there was no one for me to talk to about all these emotions inside! Now I am reassured that I have made a personal choice that I will never regret! Thanks to all of you (FTWM/D and SAHM/D) :lovesite:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71761https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71761Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:10:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:50:06 GMT]]>Ahhh while u at the aquarium…


Check if they have eels…
lol

exTEACHER

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71757https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71757Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:50:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:32:27 GMT]]>

all.in.one:
:celebrate: Cheers to Point 5!

I am a kampong girl (Kranji) who plays boy's games too. And I loved to tell my girl my stories of being a kampong girl. She loves it. The most recent mention was about play marbles with the boys. She wants to know the rules of the game and me to demo and play with her! Die! Hard to find marbles now that its not available at my nearest provision shop anymore... 😢
maybe u can find it in aquarium shop... :?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71747https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71747Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:32:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:26:50 GMT]]>:celebrate: Cheers to Point 5!

I am a kampong girl (Kranji) who plays boy's games too. And I loved to tell my girl my stories of being a kampong girl. She loves it. The most recent mention was about play marbles with the boys. She wants to know the rules of the game and me to demo and play with her! Die! Hard to find marbles now that its not available at my nearest provision shop anymore... 😢

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71743https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71743Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:26:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:11:29 GMT]]>Hi everyone,


I don't know about you guys... but for me quality time is everytime.

Here's how I try to make quality time:-

1) TV time - I try my best to watch TV with them. What they watch is what I will watch. Not the other way round. Sometimes we discuss about the program we are watching, negotiate what to watch, reasons for liking or disliking the program and stuff like that. I can also do my \"research\" as I am also teaching my little ones at work. They love it when I start talking about cartoons and stuff in class.

2) Size does matter - Some of you might be thinking... TV time? How to talk or bond? Well the talking I've mention already... Here's another thing I found out... The smaller the TV the closer we get. I don't have a Huge TV set (anymore). So we would sit closely. (Shiok-a-doodle-do!). Try it. Very cozy.... with popcorn... lagi cozier.

3) Take a bus - I dumped my MPV a couple of months ago. Now we take the public transport. Not only do I save money (that's the cheapo in me talking btw) and save mother earth (environmentalist), but I get to interact with them more compare to when I was driving them around, as I have to keep my eyes on the road. I found atleast 6 road games I can play with them... My favourite - \"I spy with my little eyes..\"

4) IT - You have to be careful with IT. There's this saying,\"We must be the master of IT... not the other way around.\" Sometimes we forget to remember, IT is a TOOL not a solution. So wield that tool properly. Misuse it and the consequences could be dire. I use IT for communication with my kids(MSN, emails), looking for information to put up in our blog, reading, singing and (yes) games. But at all times, these activities are fully supervised or the very least limited. (we use a reward system)

5) Play time - Do not rob your children of their childhood. I was a kampung boy living somewhere around Bt Timah. Used to go kite-flying, marble-playing, cycling, longkang-fishing(eels), top-spinning... I know times, they are a changing... that's for sure. Though I cannot do most of these stuff with my kids, I will talk about them and share my childhood with them. And guess what... now they can't stop asking and want to try it themselves...Anyone knows where I can fish for eels?(lol)

6) Meal time - A family that eats together, stays together. I love the concept of communal eating. Be it at home or outside. Eating is a joy that we sometimes forget to remember. And yes - put away other distractions during meal time, please...

7) Cooking - I loveeee to cook for/with my children. Our favourite dish is spaghetti. Its quick to cook, healthy and fun(esp. if the long ones) to eat. I would assign them tasks like setting the table, preparing the ingredients, tasting and other non-hazardous stuff.

8 ) Household chores - Who says housework is boring? Assign them some simple chores like making their beds, feeding the pet fish. Apart from instilling responsibility, it makes great conversation during meal time. Oh try not to enforce it... If possible make it like a game...

9) Teachable moments - Every moment with our children is precious. If we miss the moment, there is no rewind button. Don't talk TO them... Talk WITH them... even if it borders on nonsense. You will be surprise what you can learn from them.

10) 2 ears, 1 mouth - Why? So... listen more talk less. This is a lost art. I know I mentioned talking with them prior to this. But never discount listening to them. With children, especially, everyday is a new learning experience. Try it - who knows what you'll learn from them. I know I have... sometimes more than what I could ever \"teach\" them.

But this is just my 2 cents worth, of course :idea:

Regards
exTEACHER

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71733https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71733Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:11:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:30:37 GMT]]>[quote]
An incident happened last wkend when we were at a frd's place for dinner. They played a cartoon DVD for my 2+ yr old son. After about 10 mins, he wanted to do something else. My frds commented that he had a short attention span!!![/quote]Hi autumnbronze,
Actually those kids who can sit for hours in front of the TV, are the ones who will have short attention span when it comes to learning 😉 Those parents who force feed their kids with tons of \"educational TV\" are making a big mistake.

It's great that your son is not interested in TV and more interested to do other real things 😄 Your son is very fortunate to have you stay at home to look after him. I think it is a luxury for kids to be taken care by their own mommies nowadays.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70659https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70659Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:30:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:34:21 GMT]]>Hi,


I agree with Tamarind, about the fact that many parents tend to spend time bonding with their kids by watching tv or playing computer games.

An incident happened last wkend when we were at a frd’s place for dinner. They played a cartoon DVD for my 2+ yr old son. After about 10 mins, he wanted to do something else. My frds commented that he had a short attention span!!!

Actually, I do not let my son watch tv unneccesarily. He watches about half an hour at most and not evryday too. In fact, give him playdough, thomas the train puzzle or a storybook and he will happily play with them. He spends his meal times completing 25 piece puzzle meant for 3 yr olds. At nite, b4 bedtime, he will ask me to read to him his ladybird fav bks like ‘gingerbread man’ and ‘enormous turnip’. In fact, he will interrupts me while I am telling him the story and continues it himself. Sometimes he adds his own details.

I became a SAHM by circumstances. Previously, I had ambitions of climbing the ‘career ladder’. I am an ex Lit/EL teacher in a top sch. Aft several unsustainable pregnancies, when I finally conceived, DH ‘ordered’ me to quit teaching. Yes, sacrifices had to be made, but I never looked back.

Yes, I miss teaching - the rush I get when faced with pupils with thought provoking and stimulating questions. Some of my peers have been promoted. In fact, many of them cannot understand how I could quit my job and stay at home. Whereas others think that I am a SAH ‘tai tai’. I am not. I am fully involved in running my home and bringing up my child, even though I have a helper. Also, now that I am a SAHM, I realize the benefits of it. My child is thriving. I do believe that had I continued working, I would not have been able to spend that much qlty time with my son. As it is, my hrs were 7am to 7pm daily, followed by marking at hm.

At the same time, I also do not disregard the fact that for some, being a SAHM is not an option. I understand and take my hats off to them for being able to do their best in juggling work and making an effort to spend time with their children. My mom was a SAHM, but I was a latch-key child. I spend my pri and sec aft sch years in sch or at hm alone. I do not remember her spending qlty time with me, actually she never did. She spent her days with her frds, meeting them for tea etc…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70516https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70516Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:34:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:28:23 GMT]]>

Herbie:
Recently, I discovered that it is a very common scene that kids are busying playing with their hp/computer games when they are with their parents and waiting for their food to be served. Is happending at coffee shop or restaurant...


I think is sad cos there isn't any communication btw the kids and their parents.

;-(
Yah, see that a lot these days. I find it down right rude. Be it handheld games or books. These should not be things to be brought to the dining table. DH gets it from me all the time, as he will be reading all his newsflash from his phone during mealtimes.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70515https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70515Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:28:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:43:28 GMT]]>As a full time working mom, I feel guilty everyday that I cannot be with my kids. So instead of bringing them to numerous enrichment classes during the weekends, I decided to \"enrich\" them at home, as much as possible. No matter how tired I am, I make sure that I spend at least 15 - 20 mins everyday with them, either teaching maths or listening to them read out loud to me. The results have been wonderful. I save so much money, and my kids are doing so much better than any enrichment class could have taught them. And most importantly, teaching is a great way of bonding with the kids. As they read out loud to me, we discuss about the meanings of words, act out the story, and we have so much fun and laughter.


No matter how tired we are, we must make sure that we spend quality time with our kids everyday. Only 15 mins of undivided attention for each child is good enough.

Many parents' idea of bonding is to sit together with the kids and watch TV or play computer games. That's why it is very common to see kids playing with computer games and have nothing to say to their parents.

What is there to talk about anyway ? Parents will probably only ask whether the kids have completed their homework, what they have done in school everyday, then they run out of things to talk about.

My suggestion is to find a good book and let your kid read out loud to you, no matter what is their age. The contents of a good book will naturally generate a lot of topics to talk about 😉

My hubby used to be very busy with his work. He did not help out at all when our girl was a baby. Then one day he realized that if he continued like this, our baby girl would not want to be with him at all. Our girl was very choosy even at a very young age. Since she was more than 1 year old, my hubby has been trying his best to spend at least 10 - 15 mins talking to her and playing with her everyday. Our girl is now so fond of her Daddy ! They can sit together and talk for a long long time on a wide range of topics 😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70506https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70506Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:43:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:04:49 GMT]]>Recently, I discovered that it is a very common scene that kids are busying playing with their hp/computer games when they are with their parents and waiting for their food to be served. Is happending at coffee shop or restaurant…


I think is sad cos there isn’t any communication btw the kids and their parents.

;-(

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70424https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70424Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:04:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Mon, 02 Nov 2009 07:44:30 GMT]]>Hi EX-Teacher,


Thanks for yr note.

🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70414https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70414Mon, 02 Nov 2009 07:44:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Sometimes we forget to remember on Sat, 31 Oct 2009 02:57:45 GMT]]>

Herbie:
As my job does not allow me to work part time... start early and end early scheme... I have been contemplating to quit from my work for abt a year now.


Reason for quiting -- My son is having PSLE next year and i shld give him more attention and be around for him just in case he needs help with his work.. I have been working all along and my son has been in child care.. student care all this years so is time for me to do my part.
I can relate to that Herbie.

But don't rush into it... Your son will probably not be used to you being around suddenly. No doubt PSLE is a major exam and a crucial point in their education journey. (one of them atleast..)

Nevertheless, what ever your decision, you can take heart that there are always people around you who will give you the moral support. 😉

Regards
exTEACHER

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69762https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69762Sat, 31 Oct 2009 02:57:45 GMT