Daughter wants to stop learning piano

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Wed, 13 Jan 2010 07:48:19 GMT

buds hubs — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 07:48:19 GMT

UncleLim:
I don't think we should \"force\" our kids to have music lessons just because everyone else's kids are having them.

Does your child hum all the time? Does he or she break into singing after hearing a song on radio or tv? If yes, that is a good indication. If not, maybe some other training is better?

I agree with UncleLim... wise words indeed..

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Wed, 13 Jan 2010 07:43:07 GMT

UncleLim — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 07:43:07 GMT

I don’t think we should "force" our kids to have music lessons just because everyone else’s kids are having them.

My wife thinks it is a good way to keep them trying hard and disciplined but I think there are other ways to do that.

My son and daughter started learning at the same day with the same teacher. Girl passed Grade 1 and wants to stop. Boy is preparing for Grade 5 and loving it. Girl has to be threatened to practise. Boy has to be stopped from playing piano excessively. So there is a difference based on their aptitude and love for music.

Does your child hum all the time? Does he or she break into singing after hearing a song on radio or tv? If yes, that is a good indication. If not, maybe some other training is better?

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Fri, 25 Dec 2009 10:02:36 GMT

metz — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 10:02:36 GMT

Hi micko07 and takshiXD,

Thanks for your sharing. I'm sure many parents will feel more encouraged after reading your experiences.

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:48:51 GMT

metz — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:48:51 GMT

pecalis:

Btw, how old is your son? Just wondering whether my SIL's advice is accurate.

Hi pecalis,

My son is 6.5 years old.

Hmm, there's definitely nothing inaccurate about your SIL's advice. Just different school of thoughts. An American author that I read recommended kids to start on instruments at the age of 8 or 9 too. Reason being older, they are more ready to learn and commit to hard work (provided they like music). Also, at that age, it's easier to pick instruments based on their personalities. For a physically active child, the trombone, saxophone or any other wind instruments will be a wise choice as it provides an outlet for the child.

On the other hand, some advocates starting kids on music as early as possible. Suzuki music is a very fine example. It believes that music can be picked up like languages, and therefore kids should be started on instruments as early as possible. My friend once knew a group of 4 k2 kids learning Suzuki Violin Book 4 (think it's equivalent to ABRSM Grade 5). I was told (by my kids' violin teacher) that some kids in Japan were already doing the 10th Suzuki book by the time they reached 6 year old. These kids are musically talented but most importantly, a lot of hard work is involved. They typically spent an average of 8 hours on practices daily.

From my 2 kids' experience, I realised the earlier the child starts on an instrument, the more \"stellar\" the progress looks. My 4.5 yo started on piano in april this year and she has already working on grade 1 pieces. My son started on Suzuki Violin Book 1 at 5 years old, but my girl (started at 3 yr 4 mth old) is finishing Book 1 soon. A few other kids who started out at the same time with them share similar progress.

Of course, I'm not advocating that starting on instruments early is better. it all depends on the child and parents. Sometimes the personality and physique will also determine the pace of progress. A friend's 6 yo started about the same time as my son. He is doing just as well. Could have done better if not for his small built and fingers. Another 7 yo is musically talented but uncooperative. My son is interested in picking up Erhu but the strings are too tough for his tender fingers at the moment. So, he'll just have to wait for his skin to thicken. :lol: Also, at a younger age, kids may not understand the \"concept\" of hard work. A lot of pushing, discipline and commitment from parents will be required. So yeah, starting early has its own problems too.

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 14:42:46 GMT

takshiXD — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 14:42:46 GMT

i am a child and i am learning piano i have start learning piano since i was 4 n i think she should not give up yes actually at times u will want to give up as the teacher might ask u to do sth that is hard but she mean well she is only grade 1 n have not even hve her grade 1 exam if she wants to give up u might want to talk to her about it if she can’t cope well with grade 1 she will have difficulties in higher grades…but my advice is not to give up although it will be tough as if u give up it will be a waste

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 13:45:30 GMT

micko07 — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 13:45:30 GMT

pecalis:

Another friend also said for accomplished pianists, they often looked back and thanked their parents for pushing them to work hard all those yrs...

Oh definitely. I can't tell you how grateful I am that my mother made me learn piano (I was 5 when I started). I'm far from accomplished, barely made it through Gr 8, but I certainly don't regret all the time I spent plunking away.

I have friends who regretted giving up/ not learning any musical instruments as kids. As you get older, you have less time to spend (CCA, Academics etc). You may have the interest, but simply lack the time to do it. I'm personally suffering from the consequences of not picking up ballet and golf when I was much younger (started at 17 and 16 respectively ). If I had my way, I would rather my parents force me to learn it as a child but that's me.

If your kid is showing signs of burnout/ disinterest, maybe speak to the teacher or drop classes for a while. Practicing the same things over and over again is verrrry boring so try introducing some fun, recreational pieces (it helps with sightreading too!). Can go youtube and pick out pop pieces to try. Duets are very fun

Ultimately, you can't run away from practice. Encourage your kids to stick it out and really enjoy the music. I've been playing for more than 10 years and as much as I hated the exams, I do love my piano very much. I still play nearly everyday even after I finished Gr 8, it's a wonderful way to relax.

I would also recommend getting at least a standard upright, if your child wants to/ is taking graded exams. The feeling of playing on a real piano vs an electric keyboard is VERY different. The piano allows for more expression and better control over volume and dynamics.

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 11:49:19 GMT

pecalis — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 11:49:19 GMT

chamonix:
pecalis:
To add on, starting at 8-9 is for average or talented musician. If our child is a prodigy, you'll know and you will start your child much earlier. We know ours is not a prodigy, but got a tiny bit talent. She's the arty farty creative type with a good sense of rhythm...

My kids' piano teacher said it's possible for my son to take grade 3 piano practical next year. But he has to practise very, very diligently (read : stress for mommy). He just started on piano in Oct last year but he has the right build, strong fingers and maturity.

But hor, he's certainly no prodigy. That I can assure you.

Btw, how old is your son? Just wondering whether my SIL's advice is accurate.

Another friend also said for accomplished pianists, they often looked back and thanked their parents for pushing them to work hard all those yrs...

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:54:12 GMT

metz — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:54:12 GMT

Btw, I read somewhere that bright kids tend to give up on musical instruments more readily. Reason being they are quick in learning but can’t take the hard work required to master the skills. Those who persevere on are usually the more hardworking ones (besides loving music). So, don't take it too hard if your kids show disinterest in the instruments after a while. Rather, work with their music teachers to keep their interests in music burning.

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:32:40 GMT

metz — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:32:40 GMT

pecalis:
To add on, starting at 8-9 is for average or talented musician. If our child is a prodigy, you'll know and you will start your child much earlier. We know ours is not a prodigy, but got a tiny bit talent. She's the arty farty creative type with a good sense of rhythm...

My kids' piano teacher said it's possible for my son to take grade 3 piano practical next year. But he has to practise very, very diligently (read : stress for mommy). He just started on piano in Oct last year but he has the right build, strong fingers and maturity.

But hor, he's certainly no prodigy. That I can assure you.

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:14:00 GMT

clarabella — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:14:00 GMT

pecalis:
SIL told us the best time to start learning piano is 8-9 yrs old. That's when the child's fingers are long enough to reach the scales and can also go faster, in terms of progress.

I encounter many kids who start much younger and progress fast too. I'm not talking about prodigies lah Perhaps when they start at 5/6 yo there is much less school work to occupy their time and they have more time to practise hehe.

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 03:25:50 GMT

sleepy — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 03:25:50 GMT

hquek:
I don't want him to think that it's easy to give up things, and to know that to acquire skills, one needs to sacrifice/work hard.

I don't aim for him to be the best, but I just want him to persevere. Hopefully there will come a day when he can play music - just for his own enjoyment.

I agreed. When a child encounters difficulties, the first reaction is to give up & thus appear to lose interest. That's human nature.

I try to identify whether it is due to 'no interest' or 'too difficult'.
If can play well but simply doesn't enjoy the instrument then I think it's fine to persue other area of interests.

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 03:22:35 GMT

sleepy — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 03:22:35 GMT

TAURUS:
I have a fren whose son has obtained Grade 3 pratical at age of 6, my son started with her son at same age but mine lost interest at age of 5... recently i ask him whether he's keen to learn piano again, he still says no. actually he has music potential cos he can play much better compared to her sister but he's the hyperactive type, can't sit still and lazy to practise...

My elder girl learnt piano for a year & lost interest. When her younger sister started learning piano, somehow the beautiful sound of piano rekindles her interest. She had a 4 years break before resuming piano practices. Although she is not taking any formal lessons but she's playing daily. So don't give up hope

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 02:42:54 GMT

ANON001 — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 02:42:54 GMT

I have a fren whose son has obtained Grade 3 pratical at age of 6, my son started with her son at same age but mine lost interest at age of 5… recently i ask him whether he’s keen to learn piano again, he still says no. actually he has music potential cos he can play much better compared to her sister but he’s the hyperactive type, can’t sit still and lazy to practise…

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:56:53 GMT

pecalis — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:56:53 GMT

To add on, starting at 8-9 is for average or talented musician. If our child is a prodigy, you’ll know and you will start your child much earlier. We know ours is not a prodigy, but got a tiny bit talent. She’s the arty farty creative type with a good sense of rhythm…

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:48:24 GMT

pecalis — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:48:24 GMT

My DD is learning piano from my SIL (full-time piano tr for many yrs, used to teach in Yamaha too ). SIL told us the best time to start learning piano is 8-9 yrs old. That's when the child's fingers are long enough to reach the scales and can also go faster, in terms of progress. None of my friends took up this piece of advice. We listened to her and started DD at P3. However, DD lacks discipline and hardly practised, she was allowed to go at her slow pace - finished grade 2 this yr, going on to grade 3.

Actually, teaching my DD is very painful for my SIL - she's is a strict and good piano teacher - many of her students get distinctions. My DD only managed a merit, without a lot of hard work put in. However, we have this understanding that we want our daughter to enjoy music, will stop when she loses interests, but she still needs the discipline to practise.

My DH is also very musically - he learns to play the guitar, bass guitar, drums and keyboard without any formal training. He is now training teen musicians in church. He said he has come across too many people who refused to play the piano after grade 8 and he also witnessed his own sister working so hard for the higher grade exams. To him, music is very impt (always ringing in his mind) and to stop playing after so many years of practising is just like deciding to stop eating one day, because one has had enough of it!

He knows DD likes Jazz music and sometimes, will expose her to Jazz pieces or making a piece more lively. There are also few occasions when they play duet. However, he is also very strict with her. When he is around, he'll make her practise till a piece is perfect - that's his version of practise! DD commented that he is stricter than her teacher!

DS is just like him, didn't want to take up piano. He is learning how to play the guitar from DH but at a very slow pace too. Tonight, DH will bring home a drum set as he has started teaching DD how to play the drums

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:33:17 GMT

ANON001 — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:33:17 GMT

actually i realise both my children has the same problem, ie. when they find that is getting difficult, they hv the resistent when ask them to practise… my sons learns for 2.5yrs and stops after the teacher told us that if he doesn’t want to practise, no point wasting time and money to let him continue. She says a child must have interest in music if not there is no point for us to make them do what they don’t enjoy. And that’s why we finally decided to stop when my son says he doesn’t want to play anymore…

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:17:42 GMT

ooptimizer — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:17:42 GMT

I also have a piano but I did not force my DS2 to learn. Only in P4, he was more interested, and I started him on piano lessons.

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:06:54 GMT

hquek — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:06:54 GMT

hi Taurus,

DS1 is learning keyboard and has told me he doesn’t want to continue. But I gather the reason is that he doesn’t like to practice. For that alone, I’m ‘forcing’ him to continue - I don’t want him to think that it’s easy to give up things, and to know that to acquire skills, one needs to sacrifice/work hard.

I don’t aim for him to be the best, but I just want him to persevere. Hopefully there will come a day when he can play music - just for his own enjoyment.

Everyone has different story, this is just mine to share.

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Tue, 22 Dec 2009 08:59:57 GMT

ANON001 — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 08:59:57 GMT

my boy plays keyboards when he’s 3 yrs old but stop since last yr when the teacher is teaching Piano Grade 1… he tells me he doesn’t like to learn piano liao, so i also dun want to force him to continue… recently my gal also tells me she doesn’t want to play keyboard liao, after learning for a yr, so i’m considering whether to stop or not since she has lost her interest…

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Tue, 22 Dec 2009 05:43:19 GMT

jce — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 05:43:19 GMT

Now that’s a difficult question…when do kids start studying on their own? I guess the answer lies in (1) the character of the person - some are the active ones, ie will do all things without much of a pester and (2) when they are interested and hence motivated. This works on both sides, ie child must have the interest and secondly teacher plays a part in motivating. I strongly believe that the teacher must make things interesting and sometimes it’s really not just by following the book note by note. I "challenge" the higher grade students to transpose pieces. Younger ones I get them to transpose simple exercises. This trains them to think and not just merely follow what’s printed. I train their co-ordination by doing legato and staccato at the same time. Sometimes give them simple phrases and get them to compose something base on that. Get the beginners to play backwards from the end to the beginning, add simple left hand so that they get to play BOTH HANDS at times, you can see their faces light up when they get to do that cos it’s a sense of achievement.

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Mon, 21 Dec 2009 03:55:07 GMT

sleepy — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 03:55:07 GMT

csb:

Can I find out at roughly what age will kids automatically practise on their own? I'm waiting patiently for that day...

Mine is 5 yo
Learnt piano for a year

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Mon, 21 Dec 2009 03:49:18 GMT

csb — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 03:49:18 GMT

sleepy:
... will automatically practice for 30 minutes to an hour merrily without any reminder. When we were on vacation, she missed her piano :lol:

Can I find out at roughly what age will kids automatically practise on their own? I'm waiting patiently for that day...

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Mon, 21 Dec 2009 03:46:37 GMT

sleepy — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 03:46:37 GMT

I feel that when the child encounters difficulties, the first reaction is to give up & thus appear to lose interest. That's human nature. When my dd2 started learning piano, she encountered difficulties & we can sense her reluctance to practice. At that junction, we can interpret as no interest & stop her lessons. That thought did cross my mind. In any case, I asked dh to sit with her for 5 minutes everyday. She managed to overcome that difficult stage with our encouragement & nowsaday will automatically practice merrily without any reminder. When we were on vacation, she missed her piano :lol:

Reply to Daughter wants to stop learning piano on Tue, 08 Dec 2009 09:29:31 GMT

metz — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 09:29:31 GMT

rains:

Now I know the teacher indeed matters.

Hi rains,

Glad that you have finally found a good piano teacher for your daughter! :celebrate: