<![CDATA[My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ...]]>you most welcome sir …

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/63729/my-wife-and-i-need-help-with-our-girl-primary-2RSS for NodeTue, 28 Apr 2026 23:16:03 GMTFri, 22 Nov 2013 09:34:00 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Sun, 10 Nov 2013 02:07:42 GMT]]>

hwtan:
Hi everyone


We've spoken to our DD's school teacher and also her English tuition teacher. Both of them mentioned it is possible she has a (very mild) form of autism. She just failed her Math exam for this final semester by a couple of marks (she is in P2)

Her teachers have mentioned her main issue is her inability to focus for long periods of time - she just switches off or her attention drifts. If we cover topics one by one with her, she is ok. But in an exam setting, where a long period of concentration is needed, she cannot handle it.

We also signed up for a talk on BrainFit where they exercise the kid's brain so they can be better in the auditory, visual, attention, etc. departments. It seems promising.

My wife and I are at this point struggling whether to send our DD to:
1) Professional diagnosis to see if she is indeed autistic (but we suspect it is very mild, she does not have most of the symptoms we see on the Internet when researching on autism)

2) Sign up with he BrainFit program and see how it goes for 10 weeks. If things improve that'll be great. If not, then we may want to seek a professinoal diagnosis.

We are reluctant to \"brand\" her autistic because of possible re-percussions, etc. But at the same time we don't want to delay treatment if she is truly having a problem.

One question we have is, do programs like BrainFit help with my girl's lack of focus and attention?

Thanks everyone for your help in advance.
Does she have social skills issues? If not, she may not be autistic but just have attention deficit issues. I have a daughter with learning disabilities, and the issue of 'branding' is something you will have to face. We didn't seek professional diagnosis until my daughter was 14yo as we were managing to help her along without (she was in a very accommodating school overseas). There are many helpful websites, and if you are willing to work with your child at home, you can make a difference without necessarily relying so much on professionals. My daughter had an attention span of under 5 minutes when she was in P1, but can now manage to stay at her desk and work for a couple of hours, but who knows how much of that time is spent drifting off and restarting?

We only had my daughter diagnosed officially (Asperger's with various comorbid issues including attention and motor skills issues) when we knew we were returning to Singapore and we realised that she was not going to be able to manage without accommodations in school, and Singapore schools will not do much without a professional diagnosis. In the end, the choice was diagnosis to get help to enable her to get better marks, or no diagnosis and no help and possible failure. We decided that some passes, even with annotated certificates, was better than no passes. Just my experience.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1142221https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1142221Sun, 10 Nov 2013 02:07:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Sat, 09 Nov 2013 13:29:22 GMT]]>Curious. . Have you bring her see a specialist? It might bring unnecessary stress on kid or parents…I felt so. And could it be due to lack of sleep? Just my thought

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1142062https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1142062Sat, 09 Nov 2013 13:29:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Sat, 09 Nov 2013 12:41:41 GMT]]>Hi everyone


We’ve spoken to our DD’s school teacher and also her English tuition teacher. Both of them mentioned it is possible she has a (very mild) form of autism. She just failed her Math exam for this final semester by a couple of marks (she is in P2)

Her teachers have mentioned her main issue is her inability to focus for long periods of time - she just switches off or her attention drifts. If we cover topics one by one with her, she is ok. But in an exam setting, where a long period of concentration is needed, she cannot handle it.

We also signed up for a talk on BrainFit where they exercise the kid’s brain so they can be better in the auditory, visual, attention, etc. departments. It seems promising.

My wife and I are at this point struggling whether to send our DD to:
1) Professional diagnosis to see if she is indeed autistic (but we suspect it is very mild, she does not have most of the symptoms we see on the Internet when researching on autism)

2) Sign up with he BrainFit program and see how it goes for 10 weeks. If things improve that’ll be great. If not, then we may want to seek a professinoal diagnosis.

We are reluctant to "brand" her autistic because of possible re-percussions, etc. But at the same time we don’t want to delay treatment if she is truly having a problem.

One question we have is, do programs like BrainFit help with my girl’s lack of focus and attention?

Thanks everyone for your help in advance.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1142032https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1142032Sat, 09 Nov 2013 12:41:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Fri, 08 Nov 2013 13:02:37 GMT]]>

Piscesmum:
Like my son, he likes me to praise him. I realized that after I praised him, he wil want to do better in whatever things I praised him on.


You can try on your gal 🙂
Totally agree and I observe the same with my P2 boy.. Even my hubby tries his best when I praise him 😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1141546https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1141546Fri, 08 Nov 2013 13:02:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Fri, 08 Nov 2013 12:41:28 GMT]]>

Piscesmum:
Like my son, he likes me to praise him. I realized that after I praised him, he wil want to do better in whatever things I praised him on.


You can try on your gal 🙂

Yes, praises work wonders on children. Even, we adults also like to be praised by our bosses - its a strong motivational factor.

I also praise my kids when they do well n will give them a little reward in recognition of their efforts.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1141542https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1141542Fri, 08 Nov 2013 12:41:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Fri, 08 Nov 2013 09:27:00 GMT]]>Like my son, he likes me to praise him. I realized that after I praised him, he wil want to do better in whatever things I praised him on.


You can try on your gal 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1141434https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1141434Fri, 08 Nov 2013 09:27:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Fri, 08 Nov 2013 08:31:11 GMT]]>I agree with what everyone has said so far.


Children need a lot of assurance and encouragement to build up their confidence. Encourage your daughter, praise her for who she is and not just what she has done. E.g Daddy and Mummy loves you because you are our daughter.

Perhaps you also need to create a conducive and nurturing environment for her to learn (at home) so that she knows she's learning for herself, and not because she's doing this to please her parents. She may or may not be good in Maths, but she may be better at other subjects or other things e.g. drawing.

At the end of the day, I feel character is more important than results (though it is important). All the best. 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1141384https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1141384Fri, 08 Nov 2013 08:31:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Wed, 30 Oct 2013 08:58:43 GMT]]>Children thrive on praise & encouragement.

This help to build the child’s confidence.

Everyday, try to find something good about her, merit(s) in her, praise her, hug her.
Praise her, beyond academic stuff.

Example
If she help you clear the table at home for dinner, praise her.
If she help you fold the clothes after washing, praise her.
If she offer you a cup of Chinese tea after you return home from a hard day’s work, praise her.

Whatever little effort she put in to get a task done well, praise her.
If you take effort to appreciate the little or small things that she had done, her confidence level slowly will come back.

Focus not on her negative, but her potential
Based on her teachers’ feedback (both fr school teachers, tuition teachers feedback), sit down tog with yr spouse - set up a daily timetable routine, help her achieve what you think, deem or feel are "achievable" milestones for her now, in order to boost up or bring back her self esteem, & her confidence level.

Apart from this - in the past (from n1 kindergarten days to where she is, today) -
had she ever shown any sign(s) of learning difficulty, from young?
This, You need to be honest, with yourself.
If yes, perhaps work on these areas, to backup and support her, in her learning & areas of need.

Also, find out what is the learning style of yr daughter ?
How does she learn best ?
Is she an auditory learner, visual learner, or kinesthetic learner ?
By knowing which is her best learning style - encourage her natural way of learning. Because different child - different stroke.

For example
Kinesthetic child find it hard to sit still, to learn things.
Kinesthetic child need to move around. In moving around, this is how she’s able to learn & remember things. Because that is how she learn. Other parents who do not understand may comment "why this child so funny, always walk around type, cannot sit still ? What’s wrong with this child ? " Nothing is wrong, just that it happen to be her natural learning style. If she sit still, she cannot learn. But if she walk around, yes, she can learn. Eg : if she walk around a chair, she can memorize the timetable for you (eg : 1 x 4 = 4, 2 x 4 = 8, 3 x 4 = 12, etc ). But if you ask her to sit down at a table & memorize timetable, she can’t learn. She need movement, to help her.
Thus, as a parent, it is important to understand -
What type of learning style suits yr daughter best ?

Is there any allied educator, or children counsellor, inside yr daughter’s primary school ? If yes, see her. Ask her to help you assess yr daughter, or recommend someone professional to assess her learning style, etc. based on feedback received from her (school form teachers, tuition teachers, enrichment teachers, kindergarten teachers in the past) plus yr own observation of her as parents, start from somewhere, to help her regain composure, self esteem, all over again. Persevere. Light will shine, at the end of the tunnel.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1133976https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1133976Wed, 30 Oct 2013 08:58:43 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Wed, 30 Oct 2013 08:35:43 GMT]]>Looks like one of the issues is her lack of confidence. There is a term called learned helplessness and it is very toxic. The child attributes all failures to factors she cannot control. She will not try challenging tasks for fear of failure and this becomes a self fulfilled prophecy.


A beginning step is to set tasks for her that is achievable and which she can experience success. Praise her for effort put in rather than her ability ( so clever). Example ‘you tried a different way and it works’. Celebrate little successes.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1133937https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1133937Wed, 30 Oct 2013 08:35:43 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Tue, 29 Oct 2013 15:57:21 GMT]]>My girl is P2 as well.


You can see some feedback about Thinker Box at this link.
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=10238

The complimentary \"test\" seems like a good start to assess your child.
No harm trying before committing.
I've never tried it though.

My girl used to attend Shichida Method when younger... I guess it's similar?
It helped in her development. We stopped after a few years to explore on other areas of development.

I feel whichever program/enrichment, there's no immediate or guaranteed results.
More program/enrichment = more homework for parents and child.
If parents cannot afford time, no point spending $$.

Every child is different.
Try to balance studies and play time.
Words of encouragement help to build confidence as well.
Not easy to teach your own kid when it comes to schoolwork... try not to lose temper (though it's difficult)

:celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1133342https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1133342Tue, 29 Oct 2013 15:57:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Tue, 29 Oct 2013 14:31:32 GMT]]>

hwtan:
Hi all


Thanks so much for the responses. I really appreciate it - think we're going to send my DD for a proper diagnostic to assess the best ways she can learn, then take it from there.

Anyone's child attended Thinker's Box? Is it any good?
Do you intend to send your child to Thinker's Box for cognitive assessment ?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1133311https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1133311Tue, 29 Oct 2013 14:31:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Tue, 29 Oct 2013 14:23:21 GMT]]>Hi all


Thanks so much for the responses. I really appreciate it - think we’re going to send my DD for a proper diagnostic to assess the best ways she can learn, then take it from there.

Anyone’s child attended Thinker’s Box? Is it any good?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1133306https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1133306Tue, 29 Oct 2013 14:23:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Mon, 28 Oct 2013 07:32:05 GMT]]>lovinglife and jjxy mum,


I’m still a work in progress.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1132221https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1132221Mon, 28 Oct 2013 07:32:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Mon, 28 Oct 2013 05:07:32 GMT]]>

lovinglife:
SAHM_TAN:

Hi hwtan,


How was the last parent-teacher meeting with your daughter's tr? This is now term 4, I imagine there was at least one PTM ?

P2 is build upon P1's work. How was her P1's results?

If you are worried, you can send her for physical and learning assessment to cover your bases. For my ds, his ear will build up quite a lot of wax and I think this affected his learning till we found out and \"cleared\" his hearing. After that he caught up quite quickly in kindy. Now I regularly check his ears for excessive wax. There might have been other factors but once we cleared his hearing, his speech, reading caught up and the rest also fell into place. When I had some doubts abt dd1's learning abilities, I arranged for an assessment and once that was out of the way and I knew she didn't have any learning issues, I planned on the best way to help her according to her starting point.

If you think her confidence and self-esteem is affected, you will need to help her build that or else she will not have the confidence to learn. You may want to read this book, Internal Drive Theory: Motivate your child to want to study by Dr Petunia Lee. It's available in the library and it's based on local context.

I do not compare dd1's results with classmates. I do not bother with class average. I base on my dd1's starting point and work with her, focusing on her. I tell her I don't care about her classmates' results. I understand the school syllabus and I set the std that she should reach for her ability.

Is your daughter's school setting very difficult papers? I have come across rather difficult P2 qns. You can compare the school worksheets and the test papers to gauge if the school is setting too many qns above the level of what is taught in the classroom. In P2, compo writing and oral can pull down the marks, both need practise and practise.

I think it's ok at her age to like the shows that you have listed. Does she have chores and help look after the younger bro?

I have 3 kids. I don't bother abt the birth order. I will allocate chores when they reach the appropriate age.

Academics results do not define your daughter. Relationship before results.

cheers

I like the above sharing. :love:

SAHM tan,

Your sharing touches my heart.... 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1132087https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1132087Mon, 28 Oct 2013 05:07:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Mon, 28 Oct 2013 04:11:23 GMT]]>

SAHM_TAN:
Hi hwtan,


How was the last parent-teacher meeting with your daughter's tr? This is now term 4, I imagine there was at least one PTM ?

P2 is build upon P1's work. How was her P1's results?

If you are worried, you can send her for physical and learning assessment to cover your bases. For my ds, his ear will build up quite a lot of wax and I think this affected his learning till we found out and \"cleared\" his hearing. After that he caught up quite quickly in kindy. Now I regularly check his ears for excessive wax. There might have been other factors but once we cleared his hearing, his speech, reading caught up and the rest also fell into place. When I had some doubts abt dd1's learning abilities, I arranged for an assessment and once that was out of the way and I knew she didn't have any learning issues, I planned on the best way to help her according to her starting point.

If you think her confidence and self-esteem is affected, you will need to help her build that or else she will not have the confidence to learn. You may want to read this book, Internal Drive Theory: Motivate your child to want to study by Dr Petunia Lee. It's available in the library and it's based on local context.

I do not compare dd1's results with classmates. I do not bother with class average. I base on my dd1's starting point and work with her, focusing on her. I tell her I don't care about her classmates' results. I understand the school syllabus and I set the std that she should reach for her ability.

Is your daughter's school setting very difficult papers? I have come across rather difficult P2 qns. You can compare the school worksheets and the test papers to gauge if the school is setting too many qns above the level of what is taught in the classroom. In P2, compo writing and oral can pull down the marks, both need practise and practise.

I think it's ok at her age to like the shows that you have listed. Does she have chores and help look after the younger bro?

I have 3 kids. I don't bother abt the birth order. I will allocate chores when they reach the appropriate age.

Academics results do not define your daughter. Relationship before results.

cheers
I like the above sharing. :love:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1132040https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1132040Mon, 28 Oct 2013 04:11:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Sun, 27 Oct 2013 15:32:11 GMT]]>Hi hwtan,


How was the last parent-teacher meeting with your daughter’s tr? This is now term 4, I imagine there was at least one PTM ?

P2 is build upon P1’s work. How was her P1’s results?

If you are worried, you can send her for physical and learning assessment to cover your bases. For my ds, his ear will build up quite a lot of wax and I think this affected his learning till we found out and "cleared" his hearing. After that he caught up quite quickly in kindy. Now I regularly check his ears for excessive wax. There might have been other factors but once we cleared his hearing, his speech, reading caught up and the rest also fell into place. When I had some doubts abt dd1’s learning abilities, I arranged for an assessment and once that was out of the way and I knew she didn’t have any learning issues, I planned on the best way to help her according to her starting point.

If you think her confidence and self-esteem is affected, you will need to help her build that or else she will not have the confidence to learn. You may want to read this book, Internal Drive Theory: Motivate your child to want to study by Dr Petunia Lee. It’s available in the library and it’s based on local context.

I do not compare dd1’s results with classmates. I do not bother with class average. I base on my dd1’s starting point and work with her, focusing on her. I tell her I don’t care about her classmates’ results. I understand the school syllabus and I set the std that she should reach for her ability.

Is your daughter’s school setting very difficult papers? I have come across rather difficult P2 qns. You can compare the school worksheets and the test papers to gauge if the school is setting too many qns above the level of what is taught in the classroom. In P2, compo writing and oral can pull down the marks, both need practise and practise.

I think it’s ok at her age to like the shows that you have listed. Does she have chores and help look after the younger bro?

I have 3 kids. I don’t bother abt the birth order. I will allocate chores when they reach the appropriate age.

Academics results do not define your daughter. Relationship before results.

cheers

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1131770https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1131770Sun, 27 Oct 2013 15:32:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Sat, 26 Oct 2013 16:32:39 GMT]]>As suggested, I think you need to talk to her teacher to understand her behaviour and learning in school. You may also want to consider sending her for assessment to diagnose if she has any learning disabilities (it can be visual / auditory processing deficiency, etc.) to identify her learning needs. I am not saying she is having these, but to diagnose and early intervention will help kids with such learning needs. It can be also caused by some other issues like vision issues - I have heard of a case of a boy having eye teaming problem so he has difficulty reading. It was only with the right lenses that he managed to correct his vision so his learning improve.


On the part of tuition, it is not always the solution to better performance in kids. Need to assess the kid’s needs before deciding. Generally, in cases of such gaps in foundation (P1 / 2 are actually building foundation), it is preferable for 1-to-1 tuition which can focus on the kid’s gaps and address them accordingly. Group tuition will not be able to cater to such needs. But as mentioned above, you should check out with school and assessment before embarking on further tuition for your girl.

Hope it works out fine for you and your girl!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1131331https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1131331Sat, 26 Oct 2013 16:32:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Sat, 26 Oct 2013 14:55:08 GMT]]>Hi, I’m sorry to hear about the situation you are going through.


My thoughts are:
1) try to speak with the form teacher and subject teachers and seek help from the school allied educator. A bit tricky at this time as there’s no more lessons which the allied educator could sit in and observe. Nevertheless, he/she should be able to advise further.
2) what is her learning style? Perhaps she can understand better with a different approach?
3) I’m not sure to what extent an allied educator can help. If it doesn’t look promising, a visit to a child psychologist may find some answers.

All the best…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1131296https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1131296Sat, 26 Oct 2013 14:55:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to My wife and I need help with our girl (Primary 2) ... on Sat, 26 Oct 2013 13:48:10 GMT]]>Hi,

Some children are slightly slower in learning than others, they tend to take longer time to digest a concept or a set of rules.
Have u ever spoke to her school teacher? Does she has some close friends in school? How did she perform in primary 1?
Look like she isn’t coping well with her peers, is she in a ‘banded’ class?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1131262https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1131262Sat, 26 Oct 2013 13:48:10 GMT