<![CDATA[If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot;]]>I know it is still too early for me to think about this question.

But having a son and daughter also means there is a possibility that it will happen.

What will you do if your son comes up to you and tells you one day,
"Mom, Dad, I made my GF pregnant?"

or your daughter telling you she is pregnant when she is still schooling.

I read of stories of teenangers as young as 14 who make their GFs pregnant.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/6389/if-your-ds-dd-tells-you-quot-pregnant-quotRSS for NodeSat, 05 Sep 2026 00:18:27 GMTFri, 30 Oct 2009 10:45:33 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Wed, 04 Nov 2009 05:52:27 GMT]]>

kiasimom:
Hi daisyt,

What's your girl's response after reading and the explanation?
She listened lor. Then when I asked her views, she said she agreed underage sex not correct. When we talked about prositutes, rapes and social problems, she would feel a bit uneasy. In the article, there is a small part about a 15yo teenage looking for man. She asked me how man do with man, I explained and she found it disguisting.

So coincidentally, last night ch 8 drama (Stay at home dad), the rich tai tai was seducing Li Nan Xin and asked him to accompany her for overseas trip. In the end, Li Nan Xin did not accept her offer and ended up with career problems. So we make use of this, to explain to her about self discipline, self control, not only for teenages, for adults as well.

Any parents with teenages to share how and what you communicate with them about this issue ? 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71376https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71376Wed, 04 Nov 2009 05:52:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:48:19 GMT]]>Hi daisyt,

What’s your girl’s response after reading and the explanation?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71332https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71332Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:48:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Wed, 04 Nov 2009 01:33:55 GMT]]>Hi insider, 3boys, kiasimom, thanks for your advices. I showed her the article and we explained to her on the non-legal point of views.


Basically, me and dh discussed with her about
1) being a girl, must have high dignity and pride on her own body, cannot flirt around
2) the consequences, problems and sufferings on the girl’s side if she gets pregnant. Even is she not pregnant, what are the other sides of problems.
3) HIV risks
4) the mentality of boys on sex issue
5) Social problems eg. prostitutes, rapes

I guess we have covered quite a fair bit. Actually, we talk about some of these issues when there is opportunity, in a casual way. This time, we make it sounds a bit more serious.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71169https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/71169Wed, 04 Nov 2009 01:33:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Tue, 03 Nov 2009 06:27:19 GMT]]>I think it might be a good idea to let your gal read the article.

For all we know, they are far more matured in their age and might even be talking about the bees among themselves…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70789https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70789Tue, 03 Nov 2009 06:27:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:07:44 GMT]]>

daisyt:
Original Source (Straits Time, 1st November 2009)

Internet Source: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/world/41994-when-teens-have-consensual-sex

SINGAPORE, Nov 1 —
Should teens in love be prosecuted if they have underage sex?

Yes, I saw this article on the newspaper. I am still thinking, should I get my 13yo girl read this article ? Any parents can advise me ? 😄
Why not? You can bet they are discussing stuff in school. This looks like a wonderful teaching opportunity for teenagers, parents should make use of it.

When the time comes, I hope I will provide the right guidance for my sons about avoiding the pitfalls of getting inappropriately involved. I would like to set a low threshold for tolerance of any inappropriate approaches by girls. Its important for boys to understand, that purity of body is as important for them as it is for girls.

As for abortion, definite no-no for us. At an appropriate time, I will be sure to teach that to my kids, that our values will find abortion unacceptable. If God forbid, and a bad situation occurs, I would counsel strongly against it. There are many options for babies born out of wedlock, including putting up for adoption.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70472https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70472Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:07:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:34:02 GMT]]>Original Source (Straits Time, 1st November 2009)

Internet Source: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/world/41994-when-teens-have-consensual-sex

SINGAPORE, Nov 1 —
Should teens in love be prosecuted if they have underage sex?

Yes, I saw this article on the newspaper. I am still thinking, should I get my 13yo girl read this article ? Any parents can advise me ? 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70449https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70449Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:34:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Mon, 02 Nov 2009 03:17:14 GMT]]>If we take age out of the equation, the issue is simple - if everyone is mature enough about it, treat it as a regular "case".


There are adults today who do not possess the maturity to be married, let alone be parents. I have met teens who are more mature in thinking than some adults. Premarital sex is common, as is cohabitation without marriage. There are many cases of adults who get pregnant before marriage, and they are not shy about it.

So, the issue is not age; it is the level of maturity about it.

I am willing to be a young grandfather, so long as everyone is mature and happy about it. But of course, I will do my best to prevent it from happening prematurely.

At the end of the day, especially, if the baby brings as much happiness as our kids bring us - that’s a lot more important than having to live with regret (over abortion, etc).

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70251https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70251Mon, 02 Nov 2009 03:17:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:58:07 GMT]]>

insider:
I believe the law on prosecuting teenage boys having sex with their girlfriends will change one day. It is just unfair to just prosecute the boys and not the girls to begin with if both parties are in a consensual relationship, esp in this silly world that they are now living in...


I like this Walter Woon. He says things that others usually dare not, someone who dares to rock the boat and challenges status quo (though still very CAREFULLY but at least he 'tries'). He published law books with interesting cases. Different breed from Subhas Anandan though both I also like...

-------------------------------------------


Source (Straits Time, 1st November 2009): http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_449005.html

SHOULD teens in love be prosecuted if they have underage sex?

There is no easy answer here.

Other cases involving underage sex - for example, when one party is an adult - may have a clear-cut answer, but teen cases are hard to prosecute, said Attorney-General Walter Woon.

'It's basically kids having sex...What do you do if the couple think they're in love? It's less easy if the girl consents,' he noted.

Not the best way out

'The problem is, do we send the boy to jail? What good would that do?'

On why punitive measures can be traumatic for everyone involved

He spoke on this topic on Saturday before social workers, government representatives and teachers at the third annual Singapore Children's Society Lecture.

Titled Changing Social Mores: Protecting Children From Themselves?, it focused on how the law here dealt with the issue of underage sex.
I read that article too. I agree with what he says.
I really wish that the law will change someday to make the teenagers realised the graveness of their mistakes, looking at the rate of abortions and unmarried teenage mom.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70136https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/70136Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:58:07 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Sun, 01 Nov 2009 04:50:44 GMT]]>Hi insider,


I feel more inclined towards your thinking.
You are right to say that there will be strings attached if we were to adopt the baby.
If the baby has to come into this world, I probably will put the baby up for adoption.
And although I know we will not know whom adopted the baby, but I believe the relevant authorities will screen the eligibility of the foster parents first before deciding and the baby will be in good hands.
Much as I love the baby, I will still consider the children’s interest first.
How many teenagers are ready to be parents? So I guess this might be the best option.
And again, the children must be ready and prepared to speak to their parents first before coming to any decision.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69991https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69991Sun, 01 Nov 2009 04:50:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Sun, 01 Nov 2009 02:55:03 GMT]]>

kiasimom:

But I guess I will consider adopting the baby if it happens to either of my child, but then again, doesn't that mean my grandson/daughter has to address me \"mummy\" and his/her parent \"Korkor/Jiejie\"????
adoption is only legal paperwork. the kid can call anyone anything so long he/she and the person are comfortable.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69972https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69972Sun, 01 Nov 2009 02:55:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Sat, 31 Oct 2009 09:07:47 GMT]]>

jedamum:
mincy:

will try to get him to take responsibility of his actions... :idea: get the girl's parent's forgivness., get married (if old enough & the girl is willing) and be a responsibile father.


can one be a responsible father without getting married to the mother if the young father is not ready for marriage? in this day and age, where divorce rate is up, should baby be out of the picture for decision of marriage? what if it will jeapardize the young parent's studies/future opportunity for the rush marriage that is on the basis of the kid rather than on love?
that is why i am open to adopting the kid rather than let the young parents' enter into a unstable marriage.

But I guess I will consider adopting the baby if it happens to either of my child, but then again, doesn't that mean my grandson/daughter has to address me \"mummy\" and his/her parent \"Korkor/Jiejie\"????

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69835https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69835Sat, 31 Oct 2009 09:07:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Sat, 31 Oct 2009 09:04:48 GMT]]>

jedamum:
kiasimom:


To be honest, I don't know if I have the same courage as you to be prepared to be a young grandmom.

just curious, how different will your reaction if it happened (touch wood) on your boy than your girl?

Seriously I won't know how to react too if the same situation happens to me. I am not mentally prepared to be a granny when my children are still in their teens...

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69834https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69834Sat, 31 Oct 2009 09:04:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Sat, 31 Oct 2009 05:44:04 GMT]]>

mincy:
will try to get him to take responsibility of his actions... :idea: get the girl's parent's forgivness., get married (if old enough & the girl is willing) and be a responsibile father.

can one be a responsible father without getting married to the mother if the young father is not ready for marriage? in this day and age, where divorce rate is up, should baby be out of the picture for decision of marriage? what if it will jeapardize the young parent's studies/future opportunity for the rush marriage that is on the basis of the kid rather than on love?
that is why i am open to adopting the kid rather than let the young parents' enter into a unstable marriage.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69804https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69804Sat, 31 Oct 2009 05:44:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Sat, 31 Oct 2009 05:35:46 GMT]]>I will ask her to keep the baby. If such an incident happens, I hope our bonding is strong enough that she confides in me first. Better to let me yell at her for 30 minutes & keep the baby than to abort without my knowledge

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69803https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69803Sat, 31 Oct 2009 05:35:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Sat, 31 Oct 2009 03:52:48 GMT]]>I agree with adoption. There is nothing wrong about being a young grandparent.


But the sad truth is that the teenager will just go for an abortion. Either on their own free will, or being forced by their parents. One young mommy-to-be wrote in the SMH forum that her father would disown her if she kept the baby.

I heard that every year in Singapore, there are 12000 babies aborted every year.

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/441781/1/.html

I am 100% against abortion. It is equivalent to killing a baby.

I wish that all schools will teach girls who reach puberty about contraception. Most teenagers are so ignorant, they don't know how to find out things for themselves.

Even married women also don't know how to use contraceptives ! Half of those 12000 babies aborted are by married women :shock:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69784https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69784Sat, 31 Oct 2009 03:52:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Sat, 31 Oct 2009 02:10:03 GMT]]>

kiasimom:


What will you do if your son comes up to you and tells you one day,
\"Mom, Dad, I made my GF pregnant?\"

or your daughter telling you she is pregnant when she is still schooling.

I read of stories of teenangers as young as 14 who make their GFs pregnant.
hianz, what to do...if after all the birds and the bees and values instilling education fails... will try to get him to take responsibility of his actions... :idea: get the girl's parent's forgivness., get married (if old enough & the girl is willing) and be a responsibile father. Will help them out of course....

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69753https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69753Sat, 31 Oct 2009 02:10:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:17:30 GMT]]>

kiasimom:

To be honest, I don't know if I have the same courage as you to be prepared to be a young grandmom.
just curious, how different will your reaction if it happened (touch wood) on your boy than your girl?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69738https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69738Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:17:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:14:48 GMT]]>

kiasimom:
jedamum:

if both parties below 16yo, it will be criminal case already.

if both parties above 18yo, i may adopt the kid if the girl and her parents are willing.

If you are the grandmother, will you accept it?

:? accept what?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69737https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69737Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:14:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:06:54 GMT]]>

penglee:
educate my kids about birds and bees.

and pray, they can be strong enough to control their hormones..

This is easier said than done, as we parents also walk down the same path before :oops:
if really 生米煮成熟饭, then I must mentally prepare to be a young Grandpa already :!:
To be honest, I don't know if I have the same courage as you to be prepared to be a young grandmom.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69715https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69715Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:06:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:04:34 GMT]]>

jedamum:
if both parties below 16yo, it will be criminal case already.

if both parties above 18yo, i may adopt the kid if the girl and her parents are willing.
If you are the grandmother, will you accept it?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69714https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69714Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:04:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:01:34 GMT]]>educate my kids about birds and bees.

and pray, they can be strong enough to control their hormones..

This is easier said than done, as we parents also walk down the same path before :oops:
if really 生米煮成熟饭, then I must mentally prepare to be a young Grandpa already :!:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69670https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69670Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:01:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:40:04 GMT]]>Plse enjoy the message (not the commercial side) in this clip :


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkoRDFjBh44&NR=1

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69664https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69664Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:40:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to If your DS/DD tells you &quot; .......pregnant.&quot; on Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:42:41 GMT]]>if both parties below 16yo, it will be criminal case already.

if both parties above 18yo, i may adopt the kid if the girl and her parents are willing.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69632https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/69632Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:42:41 GMT