<![CDATA[Managing domestic helper 101]]>My last maid, only with me for total of 2 years plus maybe 8 months, quietly went to buy a phone (after she left, I learnt she spent hundreds on a smartphone somemore) about a year plus into her work.


As it was undeclared item, she only used it when we are not around. Sometimes we will notice she spend a super long time in the toilet, or there will be sound coming from her room. I didn’t confront her. By pretending dunno, she can’t use in front of my face; and as long as she did her chores and is reasonably polite to my mum, I’m happy.

It was only after becoming aware she MAY have a phone that I realised why she never wanted to go outside with us (note that maids who go out with family never had to take care of kids or carry loads - they are the good life type who can sit and enjoy meal in peace). She was probably too busy reconnecting with her friends/family.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/64454/managing-domestic-helper-101RSS for NodeWed, 22 Apr 2026 12:02:21 GMTThu, 30 Jan 2014 02:41:21 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Thu, 30 Jan 2014 02:03:46 GMT]]>My helper has been with us for more than 7 years. When I re-contracted her after 2nd year, I told her the only rule I have is NO HANDPHONE.


Of course after 7 years, everyone cannot do without handphone and she needs it to contact her friends on her off days.

So I pretended I didnt know she has a handphone. As a result, she cannot use it in front of me.

Sometimes she hides in the toilet to use her handphone. As long as it doesnt take too long, I wont nag her.

Give & Take and all will be well.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1203678https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1203678Thu, 30 Jan 2014 02:03:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Thu, 12 Dec 2013 13:22:48 GMT]]>hubby’s responsibilities: 1) wash bowls 2)mop floor 3) fold laundry and 4)prepare breakfast. for the first 3, I close 2 eyes…because of him doing #4.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1165658https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1165658Thu, 12 Dec 2013 13:22:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Thu, 12 Dec 2013 05:54:28 GMT]]>

janet_lee88:
men who are 'auto' mode...I think really wait long long.

when we first went maid-less, mine at home complains about having to fold laundry...even when he mops the floor, it's one pail for whole house :slapshead: :stupid: his usual comment is, 'not happy, you do it'. :mad: I vacuum on tue and mop on thur. this school holidays, I close both eyes esp with kids at home.
Same here. My hubby also likes to make the same comment .. :rant:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1165380https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1165380Thu, 12 Dec 2013 05:54:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Thu, 12 Dec 2013 05:54:17 GMT]]>

janet_lee88:
men who are 'auto' mode...I think really wait long long.

when we first went maid-less, mine at home complains about having to fold laundry...even when he mops the floor, it's one pail for whole house :slapshead: :stupid: his usual comment is, 'not happy, you do it'. :mad: I vacuum on tue and mop on thur. this school holidays, I close both eyes esp with kids at home.
Same here. My hubby also likes to make the same comment .. :rant:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1165378https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1165378Thu, 12 Dec 2013 05:54:17 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Thu, 12 Dec 2013 05:54:04 GMT]]>

janet_lee88:
men who are 'auto' mode...I think really wait long long.

when we first went maid-less, mine at home complains about having to fold laundry...even when he mops the floor, it's one pail for whole house :slapshead: :stupid: his usual comment is, 'not happy, you do it'. :mad: I vacuum on tue and mop on thur. this school holidays, I close both eyes esp with kids at home.
Same here. My hubby also likes to make the same comment .. :rant:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1165377https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1165377Thu, 12 Dec 2013 05:54:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Thu, 12 Dec 2013 01:19:45 GMT]]>men who are 'auto' mode...I think really wait long long.

when we first went maid-less, mine at home complains about having to fold laundry...even when he mops the floor, it's one pail for whole house :slapshead: :stupid: his usual comment is, 'not happy, you do it'. :mad: I vacuum on tue and mop on thur. this school holidays, I close both eyes esp with kids at home.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1165225https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1165225Thu, 12 Dec 2013 01:19:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Wed, 11 Dec 2013 04:39:07 GMT]]>

mwchua:
Sometimes I wonder why men cannot be more \"zhi-dong\"????


I have sent my maid off 2 weeks ago and new one is expected to arrive only end Dec. Luckily now is school holiday so schedule not so hectic. I wake up early in the morning to cook lunch, and rush home after work to da-bao back dinner, and do some light housework.

But the man in the house still act as if no difference, until I open my mouth, then he will do some \"light\" stuff eg wash his own cups etc....Even my girl has more initiative than him!!!!!!

:stompfeet: :stupid: :mad:
I agree! Sometimes, I also have to nag at him to clear up( wash his own cup) when our maid go for her rest. I also love school holidays, no school , no enrichment lessons too..(don't need to ferry them around).

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1164743https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1164743Wed, 11 Dec 2013 04:39:07 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Wed, 11 Dec 2013 02:27:41 GMT]]>Sometimes I wonder why men cannot be more \"zhi-dong\"????


I have sent my maid off 2 weeks ago and new one is expected to arrive only end Dec. Luckily now is school holiday so schedule not so hectic. I wake up early in the morning to cook lunch, and rush home after work to da-bao back dinner, and do some light housework.

But the man in the house still act as if no difference, until I open my mouth, then he will do some \"light\" stuff eg wash his own cups etc....Even my girl has more initiative than him!!!!!!

:stompfeet: :stupid: :mad:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1164683https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1164683Wed, 11 Dec 2013 02:27:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Tue, 10 Dec 2013 13:22:23 GMT]]>with a maid, expenses shoot up. if maid can help out, money spent is justifiable…if not, then I have additional headache ie stress. when I refused to get another maid after packing off the Filipino, hubby was complaining about having to fold the clothes and mop floor…I reminded him how much money we are saving NOT having a maid.

your sanity is very impt…look after yourself well.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1164505https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1164505Tue, 10 Dec 2013 13:22:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Tue, 10 Dec 2013 07:50:26 GMT]]>

janet_lee88:
with 4 kids, I think you would need more than 3 standby items of the essential food stuff. you are really tolerant... :salute: it must have been really tough on you...having to look after the 2 younger ones. have you feedback all this to hubby? I think you should do so because you are all alone at home with kids and a maid who is not taking instructions. take care of yourself.

Thanks , Janet_lee88!

I already feedback all these to my hubby.. But hubby kept asking me to endure till June...Actually, all these while when I had my first three children, I did not have maid . I only had part time maid which came in once a week when I had my third baby. Last time, when we did not have maid , my hubby will help me out by doing simple chores like washing dishes . Now , because of the maid, he can relaxed after his hard day work. Hence, he is quite reluctant to let her go. As letting her go means he has to help me out.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1164314https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1164314Tue, 10 Dec 2013 07:50:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Tue, 10 Dec 2013 06:32:01 GMT]]>

janet_lee88:
with 4 kids, I think you would need more than 3 standby items of the essential food stuff. you are really tolerant... :salute: it must have been really tough on you...having to look after the 2 younger ones. have you feedback all this to hubby? I think you should do so because you are all alone at home with kids and a maid who is not taking instructions. take care of yourself.

Thanks , Janet_lee88!

I already feedback all these to my hubby.. But hubby kept asking me to endure till June...Actually, all these while when I had my first three children, I did not have maid . I only had part time maid which came in once a week when I had my third baby. Last time, when we did not have maid , my hubby will help me out by doing simple chores like washing dishes . Now , because of the maid, he can relaxed after his hard day work. Hence, he is quite reluctant to let her go. As letting her go means he has to help me out.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1164267https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1164267Tue, 10 Dec 2013 06:32:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Mon, 09 Dec 2013 14:11:12 GMT]]>with 4 kids, I think you would need more than 3 standby items of the essential food stuff. you are really tolerant... :salute: it must have been really tough on you...having to look after the 2 younger ones. have you feedback all this to hubby? I think you should do so because you are all alone at home with kids and a maid who is not taking instructions. take care of yourself.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1163929https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1163929Mon, 09 Dec 2013 14:11:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Mon, 09 Dec 2013 12:59:40 GMT]]>Got frustrated by my maid again… Two days ago (Fri nite) , my maid told me that the rice is running low…So I thought that the rice supply should lasted us for at least three days…Since, Day One , when she is here with us, I already told her that she has to let us know that before one week, the rice ran out…The reason being that I have four kids and I have planned my time to run to the grocery. So on Sat , we did not cook at all (so no rice usage at all). On Sun, she cooked lunch (one meal rice usage) for the family…After that, we brought her out to send money and brought her to a Thai restaurant for dinner. On Monday (today) , we did not cook for lunch and when she was preparing dinner, she told me there is not enough rice for tonight… I was so fuming mad… From the time, she told me that means there is only left one and half meal of rice left in the rice container. She expected me to rush out to buy rice by leaving my baby alone with her… This is also not the first time she told me last minute to buy rice… At least, all the previous time, she told me is usually left at four meals of rice left in the containers. My initial one week instruction shortened to two day(4 meals of rice) now to one meal of rice. Does leniency leads to all this " can’t follow instructions" attitude?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1163881https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1163881Mon, 09 Dec 2013 12:59:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Mon, 09 Dec 2013 03:16:23 GMT]]>it seems like we are abusing maids when we say NO to mobile phones and depriving them of contact with their families back home...but with a mobile phone, these maids keep sending SMSes the whole night and do not sleep till 12 or 1am and then next morn can't wake up and then family members keep calling when they need money and then the maids cannot work...etc etc etc. you know the rest :slapshead:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1163498https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1163498Mon, 09 Dec 2013 03:16:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Sun, 08 Dec 2013 05:13:09 GMT]]>Just to share my recent experience with my new helper after my former helper of 5 years went back in June this year:


1) This new helper supposedly ex-Saudia, agreed during face-to-face interview on no off-day (with compensation) but I agreed with she keeping her handphone. Big mistake!!!

2) During 1st month already requested for \"few hours off\" every Sunday for \"classes\". I flatly reminded her on her contract terms

3) After having her 1st month salary, every week spent average $30 on pre-paid card. According to my mum and girl, she uses handphone non-stop during the day when I was not at home, even though it was agreed upon that she should only use at night after all work has finished

4) End of 4th month, asked me for 2 off days a month, or else she wanted to transfer. Requested to go out twice for a few hours to celeberate her \"cousins'\" birthday

5) Throughout her less than 6 months with us, never bother to wake up at least 10 times in the morning to help get ready my girl for school. She slept at 9am and can't even woke up at 6am!!

This is despite there are only 4 people at my house. She only does housework and some light cooking. My 10-year old does not need anything from her. She has her own room and always just sit inside her room and using handphone non-stop.

I have now sent her for transfer as still within loan period. Let's see how long the next helper will last *Sigh* :xedfingers:

Guess it's the new generation of helpers nowadays !!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1163125https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1163125Sun, 08 Dec 2013 05:13:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Sun, 08 Dec 2013 01:42:19 GMT]]>you are a SAHM and yet doing all you can to look after kids. that is really not easy. my maids used to show me black face for no rhyme or reason. I remember when we had Indonesian maids and ate mainly chicken to make things easy…so I would make soup with pork and then see black face again…why? because they would not be able to drink soup.

one word of advice…before you hit boiling point, send maid off but do NOT give her any notice beforehand. honestly, your maid should have been sent HOME long time ago.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1163058https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1163058Sun, 08 Dec 2013 01:42:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Sat, 07 Dec 2013 11:34:09 GMT]]>

janet_lee88:
I had maids when kids were younger & they had a habit of showing black faces and dumping bowls/cutlery in the sink...I pretended not to see or hear anything or else they would have achieved their objective...give them an inch and they ask for a yard. btw, I have only spoken firmly to them and never scolded them before. my last Filipino maid was not supposed to have any off day before 1 year. she asked if she could meet her auntie who was coming for a visit on Christmas day...consulted hubby and he said ok. she was only with us for 3-4 months then. with maids, my patience threshold was up to my max.

one fine day in nov, she suddenly mentioned she wanted to change employer because she didn't want to cook. to cut a long story short, I called the agency and they couldn't get anything out from her after 30 min on the phone. I returned her to the agency. then I came home and packed all her stuff into her bag and brought it with her work permit. that Filipino maid was the 4th maid and no more maids after that. my 8 year son even made the comment that 'mummy is super tolerant with this jie jie'.

Is it a norm for them to show BLACK face ? My hubby always commented that after his hard day at work , when he comes back home, still has to see her BLACk face, very \"sian\" . I am a SAHM but I have four kids and all of them are quite young . The youngest one is only ten months old and eldest is only nine years old. So most of the time , I will take care of the youngest one myself. She just has to do housework and sometimes feed my second youngest kid (three years old toddler). For the two eldest kids, they usually don't need help from her. So at one time, I tried to lighten my maid load by cooking for the family. So whenever I do the cooking I will let her handle my baby. But in the end , my eldest daughter told me she saw my maid used her first finger (nearest to the thumb) to poke my baby forehead. Another incident, She saw my maid used her hand to \"slap\" his face. I was trying to 忍， 忍， 忍..When I checked the CCTV, she did that to my baby but because the image was very small (as she stood very far from the camera) and from the camera, I can't see the amount of strength she exerted. Hence, I did not confront her as I afraid she might do something worse to my children. From that incident,I stopped cooking anymore. Moreover, I tried to make her happy by buying shoes and chauffeuring her to send money home. But despite all these, she still showed BLACK FACE.. She also kept saying my two eldest kids , don't like her (I think because my two elder kids always catch her doing something not right and feedback to me) . I feel that she always don't like my two elder kids. Sometimes, when I scold my two elder kids, I see at the corner of my eyes she is actually smiling... I felt it is so difficult to manage maid.. Is it all like that? When my this maid first arrived in Singapore, she hid herself in her room and complained that she was feeling very pain whole body so can't work. So fortunately, that time, I still had my confinement nanny with me and helped me manage her. I called the Agency and the Agency talked to her for a while and then immediately she started working....She can't take scolding , if scold her she will cry and sniff the whole day.. So usually , I will not scold her..

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162836https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162836Sat, 07 Dec 2013 11:34:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Sat, 07 Dec 2013 04:35:13 GMT]]>I had maids when kids were younger & they had a habit of showing black faces and dumping bowls/cutlery in the sink…I pretended not to see or hear anything or else they would have achieved their objective…give them an inch and they ask for a yard. btw, I have only spoken firmly to them and never scolded them before. my last Filipino maid was not supposed to have any off day before 1 year. she asked if she could meet her auntie who was coming for a visit on Christmas day…consulted hubby and he said ok. she was only with us for 3-4 months then. with maids, my patience threshold was up to my max.

one fine day in nov, she suddenly mentioned she wanted to change employer because she didn’t want to cook. to cut a long story short, I called the agency and they couldn’t get anything out from her after 30 min on the phone. I returned her to the agency. then I came home and packed all her stuff into her bag and brought it with her work permit. that Filipino maid was the 4th maid and no more maids after that. my 8 year son even made the comment that ‘mummy is super tolerant with this jie jie’.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162693https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162693Sat, 07 Dec 2013 04:35:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Sat, 07 Dec 2013 04:17:06 GMT]]>

janet_lee88:
kbcharmaine:

Need advice! My maid wanted to take half day off per week .. She claimed wanted to go for mass . But now, we are paying her money for every off day she forgo..How do we go about calculating her half day off per week? From what time to what time??


honestly, I would send this maid off if I am her employer...taking advantage already. ฎ


Hi Janet_lee88!
So there is no such thing as half day? Sorry , as I am a first time employer . She has been with me for ten months. Everyday, she will show me a \"black\" face. When she first came, she don't want off. So we compensated her for her offs. Now, she said she wanted half day off. I am very blurred and don't know how to calculate. Moreover, she is the type, you can't tell her off even when she does something wrong. Or else her face will immediately becomes blacker. I will always endure till I can't take it and tell her in a very nice way. But she still is not happy. I really don't know how to deal with her. Any tips ?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162684https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162684Sat, 07 Dec 2013 04:17:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Sat, 07 Dec 2013 03:43:31 GMT]]>

kbcharmaine:
Need advice! My maid wanted to take half day off per week .. She claimed wanted to go for mass . But now, we are paying her money for every off day she forgo..How do we go about calculating her half day off per week? From what time to what time??

honestly, I would send this maid off if I am her employer...taking advantage already. ฎ

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162675https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162675Sat, 07 Dec 2013 03:43:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:27:17 GMT]]>Need advice! My maid wanted to take half day off per week … She claimed wanted to go for mass . But now, we are paying her money for every off day she forgo…How do we go about calculating her half day off per week? From what time to what time??

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162534https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162534Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:27:17 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:18:28 GMT]]>

kbcharmaine:
My helper is very smart.. She dodged all the CCTV cameras and you can't catch her at all..I think managing a maid is really a big headache..The more you see, more upset you become. Sometimes, close two eyes also can't..

it's really upsetting to employ a maid only to have blood pressure shoot up :mad: my bil's maid earns extra money selling the groceries/canned food from the house...she has no off day. hubby's brother said maid always says rice is finishing, noodles, sauces etc and she then sells them. she repacks the rice into smaller packets and sells it to foreign workers :slapshead: but I wonder how she gets the 'buyers'. only worked for couple for 2 months, sil is frequently overseas while bil hardly eats at home.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162526https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162526Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:18:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Managing domestic helper 101 on Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:18:10 GMT]]>Installing of CCTV cameras is mainly for the purpose of checking whether our kids (Baby and toddlers) are in good hands. No choice… Or else we won’t know what will happened to our baby and toddler if we are not at home. Hence, I can understand why people wants to install CCTV cameras. They are not installed mainly on checking whether they slacked in their works but mainly for the safety of our children…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162525https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1162525Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:18:10 GMT