<![CDATA[Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings?]]>yes agreed. i think it depends how close you are with your siblings. but it’s generally not a very good idea to disclose earnings (unless absolutely needed). it is actually taboo to discuss salary in workplaces for quite a good reason


its actually a lose-lose situation.

if your earnings happen to be higher than the other party, he/she will be jealous. if your earning happen to be lower, you will feel a little bit sian. either way, someone will feel sian.

so best not to disclose.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/64959/do-you-disclose-how-much-you-earn-to-your-siblingsRSS for NodeFri, 15 May 2026 05:43:26 GMTMon, 02 Dec 2013 06:23:41 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Wed, 20 Nov 2013 12:10:43 GMT]]>Distance and privacy makes the heart fonder. No expectation, no jealousy, less envy and space to breathe.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149744https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149744Wed, 20 Nov 2013 12:10:43 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Wed, 20 Nov 2013 08:34:07 GMT]]>Never disclose because the information will be used against you. Once they know how much you are earning (especially if it is on the high side), they will approach you for loans & MLM sales.


My second sister is the ‘richest’ among my siblings. She is single and during the late 80s and 90s, her line of work pays very well (tour guide). All my siblings (except me) have approached her for loans, whether it is to start a business or to pay for their children’s education. Some will auto pay back when they have the money but some will drag the loan for years.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149614https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149614Wed, 20 Nov 2013 08:34:07 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Wed, 20 Nov 2013 05:04:58 GMT]]>

BlueBells:

When I was younger, my mum would plan how much I have to give her out of my salary and it really puts me off.

Just sharing with you - my gf's mum is the same. She forced my gf n her brother to give her a monthly allowance from the day they started working. My gf wasn't happy but obliged. However, the truth came out - her mum did this becos she wanted to help them save. Her mum never touched the money.

When her mum passed on, my gf was so shocked to see the amount of her inheritance. She didn't know that her mum has kept all the money for them.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149472https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149472Wed, 20 Nov 2013 05:04:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Wed, 20 Nov 2013 02:23:01 GMT]]>I only share my income status with DH, no one else.


When I was younger, my mum would plan how much I have to give her out of my salary and it really puts me off.

If my MIL knows how much DH makes, the whole world will know. After a while, I advise DH to keep quiet about it.

If anyone were to ask, we would tell them straight in the face that salary is P
&C and we are not comfortable sharing it.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149273https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149273Wed, 20 Nov 2013 02:23:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Wed, 20 Nov 2013 02:06:12 GMT]]>Me and my elder sis know how much each other earns. Elder sis is working with me. I know roughly how much my younger sis and her hubby earns as she talks to me somewhat about her financials. Younger sis just thinks that I earn a lot. Haha. Beyond that, none of us know how much additional income each may have through investments and such.


As for my parents, they don’t know exactly how much but they know that they do not have to worry about any of us financially.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149255https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149255Wed, 20 Nov 2013 02:06:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Wed, 20 Nov 2013 00:37:08 GMT]]>

slmkhoo:
I am in this position too. I think whether you disclose or not, and to whom, depends on how trusting the relationship is and how you read the other person. My brother earns a lot, but I have never asked how much, but am also grateful that he can treat my parents to nice things which I cannot afford as a SAHM. I recently started doing some freelance work, but what I earn is so little compared to what he must be earning that it doesn't change anything. Anyway, I told him how much when he asked!

Yes, we are lucky to have generous & non calculative siblings :hi5:

Although we won't 占 others 便宜 but there is no guarantee others won't do that to you, so I agreed have to 看人而定.
I'm completely wary of bil and his wife after seeing the way they 利用完 mil 就丢.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149177https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149177Wed, 20 Nov 2013 00:37:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Wed, 20 Nov 2013 00:31:53 GMT]]>

sleepy:
I don't know the exact amount but I can roughly guess how much is my brother's income is. I think my dad knows too because sometimes when I offer to reimburse my brother for certain expenses, my dad would stop me. I'm a SAHM.


But knowing his income doesn't mean I should attempt to reap any benefit out of it or 占便宜。 I'm grateful that he is providing for our parents so that I can have the peace of mind to stay home with my kids. Without his generous contribution to our parents, I would have to continue working. That is already more than good enough for me.
I am in this position too. I think whether you disclose or not, and to whom, depends on how trusting the relationship is and how you read the other person. My brother earns a lot, but I have never asked how much, but am also grateful that he can treat my parents to nice things which I cannot afford as a SAHM. I recently started doing some freelance work, but what I earn is so little compared to what he must be earning that it doesn't change anything. Anyway, I told him how much when he asked!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149175https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149175Wed, 20 Nov 2013 00:31:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Wed, 20 Nov 2013 00:27:36 GMT]]>I don’t know the exact amount but I can roughly guess how much is my brother’s income is. I think my dad knows too because when I offer to reimburse my brother for certain expenses, my dad would stop me. But knowing his income doesn’t mean I should attempt to reap any benefit out of it or 占便宜。 I’m grateful that he is providing for our parents. That gives me the peace of mind to stay home with my kids. I gave a token sum to my parents. My youngest brother is always broke so zero contribution. Although my parents have 3 kids, he is the only one contributing the lion share and he never complained or show any unhappiness.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149170https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149170Wed, 20 Nov 2013 00:27:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Wed, 20 Nov 2013 00:11:52 GMT]]>

3Boys:
I can't see what good can possibly come from sharing such information, but can see plenty of downside.

I guess that's why no one in my family ever asked me for such information. How is such info gonna be useful to them anyway?

When come to money, always one ear in one ear out.

I've heard of couple always complaining about their lower 'paid' income but they actually have a third income of a few thousand from rental coz they live with their parents. That is an easy $30~40k a year! They are definitely not poor despite having low income jobs.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149162https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149162Wed, 20 Nov 2013 00:11:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Tue, 19 Nov 2013 23:40:24 GMT]]>I had disclosed it for similar reasons as some of you have shared ie. so that my needy siblings would accept my help and so that my siblings and parents don’t worry about me. What it didn’t occur to me was it could be used against me. It becomes such that everytime a sibling needs money, my parents would ask me for it ie. wedding, reno.


Now I realised that the richest sibling is probably the one who claims is the poorest.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149150https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149150Tue, 19 Nov 2013 23:40:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Tue, 19 Nov 2013 14:15:21 GMT]]>

dasalo:
I would like my dcs to share with me how much they will earn next time, little or much. I really wish they won't hide from me. Possible?

Can. Two tips I learn from my mom -

1. Keep it a secret. Never let another person know the child's salary without asking the child's permission first.

2. Don't use it against the child.

My mom very \"automatic\". She would ask how much we earn in private but never let slip the privileged information and never used it against us.

My father on the other hand, would \"carelessly\" tell anyone and everyone (show off la). When it works for him, he would use our earning power against us. Eg he would say things like,\"I know la, u rich ma... U got money, can earn a lot.... So this kind of things you don't put inside your eyes...\"

So naturally, u can guess who wont get to know our salary info right?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149001https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1149001Tue, 19 Nov 2013 14:15:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Tue, 19 Nov 2013 12:01:10 GMT]]>I would like my dcs to share with me how much they will earn next time, little or much. I really wish they won’t hide from me. Possible?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148877https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148877Tue, 19 Nov 2013 12:01:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Tue, 19 Nov 2013 11:19:57 GMT]]>I have 5 siblings. I disclosed my earning to my two elder sisters and my younger brother. Not to my two elder brothers coz their wives ‘not so good’ (as in may try to 动脑筋 if they know the number).


I disclosed so that they will feel more comfortable in accepting any kinds of gifts or dinners or trips that I will buy for any of them, incl my nieces and nephews.

I ever told them in front of my mum, that my earning power is a ‘gift’ from my late dad, that he ‘invested’ the most in terms of education money in me as compared to my other siblings, and so now I have sort of become a '摇钱树’ successfully, the fruit is to be shared among all in the family (provided for meaningful use) coz I feel that they have sort of ‘sacrificed’ themselves when they didn’t choose to study (and fought with me the limited education fund of my late dad).

I shared before my mum used to say ‘No, no, no’ whenever I gave her money. After knowing how much I am earning per month, she is more willing to accept any amount of money that I am giving her without feeling ‘guilty’…

I am a relatively thrifty person, never fancy big houses or big cars and have got over the ‘brand conscious’ phase long ago = asset poor cash rich. Looking at the big number in my bank account and have no intention to invest in property, actually I don’t know what to do with them if I dont share with my siblings and mum…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148839https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148839Tue, 19 Nov 2013 11:19:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Tue, 19 Nov 2013 10:24:14 GMT]]>I can’t see what good can possibly come from sharing such information, but can see plenty of downside.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148789https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148789Tue, 19 Nov 2013 10:24:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Tue, 19 Nov 2013 10:09:48 GMT]]>

jetsetter:
of course not...after the first job, no need to share with siblings anymore:) More so after each one has own family... But u can roughly tell from the type of property/no. of properties/car(s)/annual hols (JB or USA?) and enrichments*no. of children per family...kekeke...


branded handbags, shoes, diamond rings, etc. not accurate indication btw ^_^
:rotflmao:

Now I know why some people buy these things, even when they don't earn much. 😆

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148779https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148779Tue, 19 Nov 2013 10:09:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Tue, 19 Nov 2013 09:58:12 GMT]]>

jetsetter:
of course not...after the first job, no need to share with siblings anymore:) More so after each one has own family... But u can roughly tell from the type of property/no. of properties/car(s)/annual hols (JB or USA?) and enrichments*no. of children per family...kekeke...


branded handbags, shoes, diamond rings, etc. not accurate indication btw ^_^
Haha.. ... 😂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148759https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148759Tue, 19 Nov 2013 09:58:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Tue, 19 Nov 2013 09:31:47 GMT]]>of course not…after the first job, no need to share with siblings anymore:) More so after each one has own family… But u can roughly tell from the type of property/no. of properties/car(s)/annual hols (JB or USA?) and enrichments*no. of children per family…kekeke…


branded handbags, shoes, diamond rings, etc. not accurate indication btw ^_^

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148724https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148724Tue, 19 Nov 2013 09:31:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Tue, 19 Nov 2013 09:21:39 GMT]]>No, I dont. I also dont know exactly how much dh earns.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148713https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148713Tue, 19 Nov 2013 09:21:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Tue, 19 Nov 2013 09:18:19 GMT]]>nope we dont disclosed to sibling or parent …i know my mom hate it but too bad cos her thinking is those who earned more most pay more regardless of commitment …


by looking at our spending we more or less can guess each other income lolz and what is the point of knowing…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148708https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1148708Tue, 19 Nov 2013 09:18:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Sun, 17 Nov 2013 05:17:35 GMT]]>Ignorance is bliss. I always feel its not necessary to reveal n to find out others. It will always lead to comparisons n unhappiness amongst all. This is typical human nature.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1147195https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1147195Sun, 17 Nov 2013 05:17:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Sun, 17 Nov 2013 05:04:35 GMT]]>My sibling has an inkling of my salary as the range is public information due to research papers from the headhunters. She also receives cold calls from local headhunters to re-locate back to Asia, hence she is very familiar with my pay and benefits.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1147190https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1147190Sun, 17 Nov 2013 05:04:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Sun, 17 Nov 2013 03:48:37 GMT]]>–

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1147165https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1147165Sun, 17 Nov 2013 03:48:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Do you disclose how much you earn to your siblings? on Sat, 16 Nov 2013 17:46:07 GMT]]>Erm… I don’t feel comfortable sharing salary details with my siblings and my father. While my siblings no longer ask me, My father is quite kaypo in this subject. I could understand if he is just curious but the thing is, he doesn’t keep the information to himself. Both my parents equate earning power to success in life, to a certain extent.


As for my siblings, when I first started out, they did ask me. They just wanted to make sure that I was doing fine and paid reasonably. I was many years younger and to them, I would always be the little sister. Years had passed and they no longer asked. I don’t see a reason to reveal my salary information anymore, other than how many months of bonus I am getting. For my eldest brother, he is earning much more (the combine of mine and my second brother’s pay is still lesser than his). Nothing good to compare with him.

As for my second brother, he was not earning a lot so why bother to compare and hurt his feelings (I am earning slightly more than twice his salary)?

Once every few years, my mum would ask about my salary(any pay increment?). I would share with her but remind her that she needs to keep that piece of information confidential.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1147042https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1147042Sat, 16 Nov 2013 17:46:07 GMT