<![CDATA[At a loss]]>Do you give him specific instructions as to how to focus? For some kids, they don’t really know how, or they don’t know how to re-focus once they have lost focus. My older daughter was a champion classroom dreamer, and besides enlisting the teachers to speak directly to her now and again to get her attention, I also told her how to arrange her desk, put a checklist in her pencil case to remind her to focus and be organised, gave her instructions as to how to manage her notebook, what to do when she had missed something due to drifting off etc. I also tried to teach her to listen ‘actively’ by asking questions to herself like ‘what is the teacher saying’, ‘why’, ‘what should I take note of’ etc. I can’t say it worked magic, but she did get better with age.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/70744/at-a-lossRSS for NodeSat, 25 Apr 2026 02:28:28 GMTTue, 18 Mar 2014 05:14:03 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Tue, 18 Mar 2014 02:08:46 GMT]]>Hi Ladies,


Thanks for all your suggestions.

Through Ds1 we discovered that Ds2 brag to his brother that he's the 2nd best for \"pen fight\" in school. I guess he must be thinking of ways to win at every game 🤷 . He also loves to draw \"monsters\" and plays imaginary fighting with his friend during recess.

We told him he can play during recess but not during lesson. We asked him to focus during lesson and hope he'll do so. Will definitely work with the teacher on the suggestions once school re-open.

Thanks again

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1241960https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1241960Tue, 18 Mar 2014 02:08:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Mon, 17 Mar 2014 11:43:51 GMT]]>

Beatrice_NoQ:
My uncle has 3 sons (so I guess technically they are my cousins, but I'm more than 20 years older than them), the youngest is 6 and the oldest is 9. For the longest time their parents had a hard time disciplining them until one day one of their tutors suggested that they may have ADHD as they were constantly forgetting things that have just been taught minutes ago, having extremely short attention spans during lessons and losing their belongings ALL THE TIME. So my uncle and aunt took them for a couple of tests and got their suspicions confirmed - all 3 boys had ADHD!


I'm not sure what measures were taken to address this problem, but I think taking your DS for an evaluation may be a good idea.. Just in case.
Unless you want to medicate the child, the main remedy is to train them. Having a diagnosis of ADHD may make people more understanding as to why the child behaves that way, but there is no 'cure' other than teaching him how to manage.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1241443https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1241443Mon, 17 Mar 2014 11:43:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Mon, 17 Mar 2014 09:59:53 GMT]]>My uncle has 3 sons (so I guess technically they are my cousins, but I’m more than 20 years older than them), the youngest is 6 and the oldest is 9. For the longest time their parents had a hard time disciplining them until one day one of their tutors suggested that they may have ADHD as they were constantly forgetting things that have just been taught minutes ago, having extremely short attention spans during lessons and losing their belongings ALL THE TIME. So my uncle and aunt took them for a couple of tests and got their suspicions confirmed - all 3 boys had ADHD!


I’m not sure what measures were taken to address this problem, but I think taking your DS for an evaluation may be a good idea… Just in case.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1241406https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1241406Mon, 17 Mar 2014 09:59:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 09:05:00 GMT]]>

heyhoe:
Ds is my middle child and this year, I'm dealing with P1, P3 and P6. Thus it is hectic :imdrowning: for me but I find myself spending more time guiding him. In fact, he's lucky to have a passionate teacher :please: who cares for him. His teacher gets him to stay back and guide him in his work after school, if he doesn't complete them.


Ds has friends but he doesn't talk about them. Outside school, he doesn't talk to his friends even if he saw them outside. I'm not sure if he's shy or just more quiet. I've been asking him to get his friends' contact but up to today, he still have none. I think his best friend or idol is his brother. I try to ask his brother to encourage him but it doesn't seem to work either.

I also realize ds will not admit that he doesn't know how to do his work. He would rather clamp up. If the work is tedious, e.g. \"guess & check\" he rather not to do it. :faint: Sometimes, if i challenge him, he will show that he can solve it.

I'm thinking how to work with the teacher. Any suggestions that I can propose to the teachers, ladies? Thanks.
That time I frankly told the teacher the problem I have with DS1 and requested her help as follows:
(1) teacher to check that he has recorded his homework in his journal, or get a buddy for him who can check and make sure he has written down his homework.
(2) teacher to inform me if he is late in submitting his work or gives sloppy work which teacher knows he is capable of doing better.
(3) for CL homework, teacher agreed to ask team leader to checkand make sure he has done homework before passing up the books for her to mark.

There was also once FT made him sit right in front of her. That kept him on his toes as well.

If he has a passionate teacher, I am sure you can work someone out with the teacher if you discuss your problem with DS with teacher.

All the best ya.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1238040https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1238040Thu, 13 Mar 2014 09:05:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 06:53:23 GMT]]>Ds is my middle child and this year, I'm dealing with P1, P3 and P6. Thus it is hectic :imdrowning: for me but I find myself spending more time guiding him. In fact, he's lucky to have a passionate teacher :please: who cares for him. His teacher gets him to stay back and guide him in his work after school, if he doesn't complete them.


Ds has friends but he doesn't talk about them. Outside school, he doesn't talk to his friends even if he saw them outside. I'm not sure if he's shy or just more quiet. I've been asking him to get his friends' contact but up to today, he still have none. I think his best friend or idol is his brother. I try to ask his brother to encourage him but it doesn't seem to work either.

I also realize ds will not admit that he doesn't know how to do his work. He would rather clamp up. If the work is tedious, e.g. \"guess & check\" he rather not to do it. :faint: Sometimes, if i challenge him, he will show that he can solve it.

I'm thinking how to work with the teacher. Any suggestions that I can propose to the teachers, ladies? Thanks.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237927https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237927Thu, 13 Mar 2014 06:53:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 06:24:22 GMT]]>Ah I just saw lostbunny’s post. My previous post was not in response to hers and I agree that peers make a difference as well.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237905https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237905Thu, 13 Mar 2014 06:24:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 06:22:09 GMT]]>My ds is also like this but my take is a little different. Other than innate organizational skills, there are other factors at play too. Amount of sleep, handwriting speed, chatty classmates sitting around, how fast the teacher talk, and the sheer quantity of paperwork - these make a difference.


An organized teacher also makes it easier for the kids to be organized. Whereas a teacher who gives instructions as they come to her will make it a harder task for children who are already disorganized.

The amount of work/ paper from P2 to P3 is also different. And if your child has recently moved from afternoon to morning session, that will also make a difference in his coping abilities.

Suggestions:
- pocket folder is excellent. Tell him if no time to file properly, just put all homework and forms in front or at the back. Choose either, and stick to it.
- get the phone number of a reliable classmate so that he can call and check if there is uncertainty. If he has forgotten an exercise book required for homework, do the homework anyway and help him stick it into the actual book later with a note from you to the teacher.
- ask the teacher to pair him up with a reliable classmate who can prompt him. (but he must also be receptive and not tell the student off!)
- chatty classmate, same as above. If he is the one talking, then erm, mummy gotta preach.

If the teacher is speaking too fast for him, borrow notes during recess, or approach the teacher later to check (not easy for a child in a busy class to do). You may need to also raise this with the teacher during PTM if he is missing out on a lot of info.

My ds1 is a lot better this yr. I am not sure if it is due to maturity, more sleep, or a more organized school system (he switched schools). But from my ds2’s experience in p1, there is a discernible and significant difference in how schools prepare students and communicate with them and parents. So it does go both ways too.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237903https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237903Thu, 13 Mar 2014 06:22:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 06:21:56 GMT]]>Hi heyhoe,

Your problem is very much what I experienced in the last 2 years with my DS1. Always not doing homework, never write in communication book/homework journal. Like you, I often get calls from teacher. In p3, his form teacher told us to just let her punish DS if he doesn’t hand in his homework. H/w, the CL teacher told us otherwise, that DS is still young so we need to be more hands on to help him throw away this bad habit. In p4, there was a change in FT and this FT set up a class blog so I was thankful that I had the class blog to check what homework DS had. The class blog kept my DS on his toes. But the blog didn’t include Chinese homework so the problem persist with Chinese. I tried the reward or take away privileges, all did not work so I was like u at a loss. I tried my best to keep track of his homework by often checking with his teacher or classmate mum. So we sailed thru his p3 n p4 like that. It is only this year that thru our occasional chit chat that I found out that how he was behaving last 2 years could be due to peer influence. Apparently there are a few of them in class who don’t do homework. Some of these friends are still like that now. For DS, teacher commented that he seems to have matured and it’s so far so good. Teacher made his the class monitor this year and I think that kind of gave him some sense of responsibility. I am still monitoring closely but it is so far so good. He has been recording his homework in his homework journal.

My suggestion is that try finding out more about DS’s friends to see if his behavior is due to peer influence. Find out how those who don’t do homework are being punished. Perhaps that gives could give you some clues to plan how you can tackle the problem.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237902https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237902Thu, 13 Mar 2014 06:21:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 06:18:50 GMT]]>

bb_ mom:
I cannot deviate when it comes to my DS but he's always deviating. Very unfair.


But I've learnt not to sweat the small stuff. Pick the \"fights\". Just means his bag has lots of papers.
:hi5:
I have tried all methods and finally give up !
dd told me that 'all boys are like that ...very messy\"

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237901https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237901Thu, 13 Mar 2014 06:18:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 06:01:24 GMT]]>Are there more things that could contribute to his lack of attention and being disorganised.


I know DS became more distracted and disorganised when he had more access to computer games and the iPad. The moment I removed those, things improved.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237891https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237891Thu, 13 Mar 2014 06:01:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 05:57:15 GMT]]>Just another thought - if he was more organised before but has got worse recently, could it be that he is attention-seeking? Are you busier now, or does he get less attention now? For some kids, negative attention may be better than less attention.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237888https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237888Thu, 13 Mar 2014 05:57:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 02:49:52 GMT]]>

heyhoe:
Thanks, Ladies. My ds is in P3 and yes, he often drifts off in the midst of lesson. The teacher mentioned that at times she will stare at him to remind him.


He used to be the most organised of my 3 ds but now, this happens. Every night, I go thru his bag, check thru his communication book and look thru every activity and exercise books. Still some are missing cause he never brings back. At times, he left it at the student care. Oh yeah, I have those folder with different compartments too but at times, he didn't put in.

I'm not the most patience mom too (think I run out of patience), I will unload and get them to repack when I see \"messy\" stuff in the bag. I'm really run out of ideas how to help him. :gloomy:
I think you will have to be really patient with him. I will provide incentives to entice him to improve e.g. if 1 day all homework done, no teachers' call then 1 tick. At the end of say 10 ticks he will be able to get maybe half an hour of gaming or whatever is his favorite stuff.
You will still have to handheld him for a little longer.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237708https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237708Thu, 13 Mar 2014 02:49:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 02:43:27 GMT]]>Thanks, Ladies. My ds is in P3 and yes, he often drifts off in the midst of lesson. The teacher mentioned that at times she will stare at him to remind him.


He used to be the most organised of my 3 ds but now, this happens. Every night, I go thru his bag, check thru his communication book and look thru every activity and exercise books. Still some are missing cause he never brings back. At times, he left it at the student care. Oh yeah, I have those folder with different compartments too but at times, he didn't put in.

I'm not the most patience mom too (think I run out of patience), I will unload and get them to repack when I see \"messy\" stuff in the bag. I'm really run out of ideas how to help him. :gloomy:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237702https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237702Thu, 13 Mar 2014 02:43:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 02:09:48 GMT]]>I cannot deviate when it comes to my DS but he’s always deviating. Very unfair.


But I’ve learnt not to sweat the small stuff. Pick the "fights". Just means his bag has lots of papers.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237665https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237665Thu, 13 Mar 2014 02:09:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 02:05:08 GMT]]>

bb_ mom:
Hi Porky


I did the same with my DS. Started off great cos he found it fun to have slots for each subject. Then he got tired of doing it and just stuffed the papers into his bag. :slapshead: Still the same now.
Porky Mama is very fierce. If my DS deviates, i will scold or punish. Hence till today, he will still practise. I think it is in his blood oredi!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237657https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237657Thu, 13 Mar 2014 02:05:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 02:02:46 GMT]]>Hi Porky


I did the same with my DS. Started off great cos he found it fun to have slots for each subject. Then he got tired of doing it and just stuffed the papers into his bag. :slapshead: Still the same now.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237655https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237655Thu, 13 Mar 2014 02:02:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 01:57:06 GMT]]>I guess it is a boy’s thing to be forgetful and not organized. My DS was like tat when he is in his lower primary. What i did was to get those plastic folders with individual compartments. I will label, English, Chinese, Maths, Science, Letters and Others. Then i will tell my DS to put all his homework for that particular subject into that slot. So when he gets home, i will go through with him. It works after a while. This practice is continued even till today when he is in Sec 1.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237646https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237646Thu, 13 Mar 2014 01:57:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 01:51:53 GMT]]>My DS had the same problem when he was in P2. Even now, it still happens occasionally. Slmkhoo is right. There has to be a fixed schedule at home to review his work. From the moment DS finishes his lunch, I will prompt him by asking if he has homework. He is quick to say, "Nothing." But I will ask him to think carefully subject by subject. That’s when he’ll remember there’s either homework or some letter/consent form for parents. And my agreement with him is very clear - finish his school homework followed by the work set by either DH or I. But the work set by DH or I follows a fixed schedule too. No deviation. If need to deviate, I must tell DS ahead of time. He cannot accept impromptu changes.


Even if he misbehaves, don’t take away the privilege in totality. It may make him rebel. Instead, I was advised to cut back on his privilege. In the case of DS, he always gets to play for 1.5 hours with friends downstairs. If he doesn’t complete his work or misbehaves, I will cut his play time by 0.5 hour the next day.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237637https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237637Thu, 13 Mar 2014 01:51:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 01:25:34 GMT]]>Does he have problems focusing? Is he impulsive or dreamy? It may not be that he intentionally ‘forgets’ to write things down or complete work. Can you ask the teacher to remind him to write things down or get a buddy to help him remeber (I assume he’s still in Pr school)? And set up a schedule for him at home to review every subject that was taught that day to see if there was work handed out. You may need to do this with him for a while until he learns to do it for himself. Just don’t fall into the trap of doing it for him forever.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237594https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237594Thu, 13 Mar 2014 01:25:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to At a loss on Thu, 13 Mar 2014 01:02:44 GMT]]>

heyhoe:
I'm at a loss with my ds. Since beginning of this year, he's been getting complaints from his teacher for his misbehaviour 😢 - not completing his work or doing his work carelessly.


I've checked his work but there are times when he didn't write in the communication book and at times, didn't bring his work back so I didn't know it is not completed. At times, I found uncompleted work :frustrated: .

I've done the soft approach (talking and giving incentive for good behaviour & completing his work) and also hard approach (take away privileges, :spank: etc). Still, nothing works. I've also seen his teacher and discuss ways to work with her but nothing seems to work.

When I asked him why he behave this way, he will tell me 🤷 \"Don't know\" and remorseful for a while, the next moment, he's cheeky again. I really don't know how to handle this.

Anyone can give me some suggestions? I'm going to see the teacher again and really didn't know what to say or do. :?

How old is your kid?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237571https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1237571Thu, 13 Mar 2014 01:02:44 GMT