<![CDATA[The nature of forgiveness]]>It’s never easy…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/73385/the-nature-of-forgivenessRSS for NodeSat, 25 Apr 2026 01:35:02 GMTMon, 03 May 2021 02:26:24 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Tue, 26 Mar 2019 02:42:32 GMT]]>The very use of the word is a method of befuddling people and splitting their minds into pieces.

It is a subtle way to direct people’s mind to the assumed being whose function forgiveness really is.
People only need to understand that nothing happens to one, unless the susceptibility for it is present in ones life. That susceptibility needs to be examined and corrected. That is the correct process.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1903855https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1903855Tue, 26 Mar 2019 02:42:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Wed, 06 Mar 2019 02:41:25 GMT]]>Forgiveness is the ability to accept that the past is fixed, and that nothing can change it, and that the only true path is to deal with the situation as it is now.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1901406https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1901406Wed, 06 Mar 2019 02:41:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Fri, 01 Mar 2019 01:48:39 GMT]]>Forgiveness is the acceptance of an apology. Even the mistake and damage done to you by a person was really deep and big you’ll be open minded and try to realize the main reason why he/she did that. You will not be bias or self centered.You will lend him/her ears and listen to his/her point or reason based on the situation.You’ll put yourself in his/her situation in order for you to understand and forgive him/her. You’ll analyze the reason and if you think the reason is realistic, genuine, credible thats the time you can forgive someone.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1900447https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1900447Fri, 01 Mar 2019 01:48:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Tue, 26 Feb 2019 04:20:37 GMT]]>If we are cheated of our life-savings or if someone did something to seriously injure our relationship with someone we care about, those are things we don’t forgive overnight. But as I get older, I realise that many things are not earth-shattering or life-threatening. Usually, it is the ego that is hurt, and egos can be mended. Nowadays I find myself forgiving more readily.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1899963https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1899963Tue, 26 Feb 2019 04:20:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Mon, 25 Feb 2019 20:59:19 GMT]]>

sleepy\" post_id=\"1286666\" time=\"1399717622\" user_id=\"1671:

Funz:

Hmmm.... we are not talking about small small matters right? We are talking about hurt and betrayal that cuts really deep?

I do not let people in easily and once I let them in, I think it will take a lot before I will give up on/hate that person. But once it reaches that point, it will also take a lot for me to forgive but I will never forget.

Agreed. I have an inner circle too. For those of no major concern to me, i do forgive and forget very easily. i have extremely short memory on a daily basis.

The irony is the more important the person is to me, the harder to forgive. Even if forgive, i cant forget (even though i would like to)

:boogie:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1899870https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1899870Mon, 25 Feb 2019 20:59:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Mon, 25 Feb 2019 01:53:54 GMT]]>When you forgive someone, you don’t have to forget what they’ve done. You can, and maybe should, be more cautious about trusting them. But instead of continuing to attach feelings of anger and resentment toward them you have a more detached acceptance of the fact that they are imperfect people–that if they were their best, true selves they would not have done such a negative thing to you. You pity them, if anything. And you are more inclined to hope they find a better way to be happy (and thereby kinder), instead of wishing them ill.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1899642https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1899642Mon, 25 Feb 2019 01:53:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Wed, 13 Feb 2019 03:23:23 GMT]]>I'm no specialist in forgiveness or anything lol, but from my side, I think that even if someone did something unspeakable to me, I could give it a few weeks to gather my thoughts and let it set in the part of my \"it's alright\" mind but then once I try to forget about it and realize that everyone makes mistakes, and that I have done bad things too, I try to forgive them. And usually I feel a big weight taken off 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1898226https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1898226Wed, 13 Feb 2019 03:23:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Tue, 02 Oct 2018 02:15:42 GMT]]>Forgiveness isn’t for the forgiven, but for the one doing the forgiving.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1876405https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1876405Tue, 02 Oct 2018 02:15:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Wed, 12 Sep 2018 09:37:15 GMT]]>

jliu76746:
I think that ones ability to forgive has a lot to do with the way they were brought up, their beliefs and morals, etc. It's certainly true that time helps to heal wounds, but for many people the power of forgiveness lies in how well or how compassionate the person is that hurt you... do they show remorse for what happened? do they want to correct the behavior? Keeping a positive attitude is the best way to get past suffering believing that things could always be worst and that you owe it to yourself to pursue a happy, healthy life regardless of others actions towards you,sure people will crap on you with they are given the opportunity but you can do one of two things with that, you can either take it as a life lesson and use it to build your character or you can dwell, mope and believe that the world is out to get you.

Agree to this, there are things in life that is not easy to forgive but I will tell myself to take it as a life lesson and move on with life. Afterall, life is too short to mope around

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1873482https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1873482Wed, 12 Sep 2018 09:37:15 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Tue, 28 Aug 2018 06:06:39 GMT]]>To forgive.....for some is easy to be said. But not easy especially when the problem started from your \"love ones\" even so from your \"family\" and worse they refuse to acknowledge their mistake. So better to avoid totally is the best solution. Nothing to forgive and forget about. Nothing about God. It is about self mental health come first :evil:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1870790https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1870790Tue, 28 Aug 2018 06:06:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Sat, 25 Aug 2018 04:21:50 GMT]]>Bad things happen to good people. When we can release the pain and the hurt, we feel more at peace with ourselves and those around us

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1870031https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1870031Sat, 25 Aug 2018 04:21:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Thu, 09 Aug 2018 10:09:29 GMT]]>

xueyan:
Is forgiving a person 放下 a matter?

I find it so hard to forget the pain that the person once brought upon me, though i really wanna move on. It is like opening out the old wound. Forgiveness is like cleaning the old wound.

time does not heal all wounds.The wounds remain. In time, the pain lessens. But it is never gone.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1865767https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1865767Thu, 09 Aug 2018 10:09:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Fri, 13 Jul 2018 03:22:54 GMT]]>Someone wise shared this - let live if the other person hv not done right, he'll always be facing similar problems till he learn his lesson. Fret not nor harm yourself by being angry or hold grudges. This came when I was given a ride by an elderly frd, when someone tried to weave in & out of our path on a heavy traffic day.


It's easy to get upset. But \"takes a lot of self-control & wisdom to slow down & avoid accidents with these ppl bent on rushing to hell\", he said.

For me, I'll add that it's good to 看破 & take life a lot easier. No need to be competitive, give more u'stand'g to others (maybe they're rushing for an emergency?). Don't get angry easily nor hold grudges for your health's sake - might increase yr heart condition or activate your cancer cells. Yikes! Avoid! :siam:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1857272https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1857272Fri, 13 Jul 2018 03:22:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Fri, 13 Jul 2018 02:58:03 GMT]]>some people find it hard, some people find it easier. It’s depends on who the person is. If the person is mature enough they would forgive because they know it is a waste of time and nothing good comes out of not forgiving people. some people just hold grudges sometimes on purpose or unconsciously.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1857266https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1857266Fri, 13 Jul 2018 02:58:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Thu, 28 Jun 2018 01:00:36 GMT]]>Is forgiving a person 放下 a matter?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1854051https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1854051Thu, 28 Jun 2018 01:00:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Wed, 27 Jun 2018 23:18:42 GMT]]>

mommyNg:
ammonite:



I may be the odd one out but if u ask me, there is no need to have 大海的肚量 for a mere acquaintance. Since it is politics type issue, you can see it as a personal injury stemming from impersonal motives. Mentally put a big red X on this person and either avoid or be on your guard in future.

Thanks ammonite! Your advice is very helpful! I did mentally put a big red X on this person and try to avoid this person as much as possible. The irony is the more I want to avoid this person, the more I would remember the nasty interactions :roll:

BUT! Treating it as an “injury” stemming from impersonal motives is a very good way to disassociate it from my personal life. The thoughts already made me feel better!

:thankyou:

Glad you are feeling better! :hi5:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1854042https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1854042Wed, 27 Jun 2018 23:18:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Wed, 27 Jun 2018 01:20:20 GMT]]>

ammonite:


I may be the odd one out but if u ask me, there is no need to have 大海的肚量 for a mere acquaintance. Since it is politics type issue, you can see it as a personal injury stemming from impersonal motives. Mentally put a big red X on this person and either avoid or be on your guard in future.
Thanks ammonite! Your advice is very helpful! I did mentally put a big red X on this person and try to avoid this person as much as possible. The irony is the more I want to avoid this person, the more I would remember the nasty interactions :roll:

BUT! Treating it as an “injury” stemming from impersonal motives is a very good way to disassociate it from my personal life. The thoughts already made me feel better!

:thankyou:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1853867https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1853867Wed, 27 Jun 2018 01:20:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:15:09 GMT]]>

mommyNg:
I was hurt very very deeply by an acquaintance a few years ago (politics-type). I was very traumatized. It took me a very long time to heal, and to not cry at the mere mention or thought of the person/incident. I tried to forgive the person, but I couldn't forget. I am still learning how to completely forgive the person, forget about what the person did to me, and have 大海的肚量.... but it can be really really hard. Hopefully time will do the trick.....:sad:

I may be the odd one out but if u ask me, there is no need to have 大海的肚量 for a mere acquaintance. Since it is politics type issue, you can see it as a personal injury stemming from impersonal motives. Mentally put a big red X on this person and either avoid or be on your guard in future.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1853859https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1853859Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:15:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:05:16 GMT]]>

JamesHuChao:
I asked my son for forgiveness today. it was after a month of bitterness. 1 mth ago, i had lost my cool and slapped him harshly in front of his friends. I was very upset that he had brought them over without informing me, and even letting them swim naked in my swimming pool. I suppose i am valid in my anger, but i should not have made him lose face in front of his friends

Kudos for setting things right and demonstrating to your son a valuable lesson in making amends. Some father-son pairs never recover from such incidents and the wounds fester on for decades.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1853858https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1853858Tue, 26 Jun 2018 23:05:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Tue, 26 Jun 2018 12:58:13 GMT]]>I was hurt very very deeply by an acquaintance a few years ago (politics-type). I was very traumatized. It took me a very long time to heal, and to not cry at the mere mention or thought of the person/incident. I tried to forgive the person, but I couldn't forget. I am still learning how to completely forgive the person, forget about what the person did to me, and have 大海的肚量.... but it can be really really hard. Hopefully time will do the trick.....:sad:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1853836https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1853836Tue, 26 Jun 2018 12:58:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Tue, 26 Jun 2018 12:28:04 GMT]]>I asked my son for forgiveness today. it was after a month of bitterness. 1 mth ago, i had lost my cool and slapped him harshly in front of his friends. I was very upset that he had brought them over without informing me, and even letting them swim naked in my swimming pool. I suppose i am valid in my anger, but i should not have made him lose face in front of his friends

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1853828https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1853828Tue, 26 Jun 2018 12:28:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Sun, 11 May 2014 09:28:48 GMT]]>My thoughts:


http://www.famousquotesabout.com/quoteImage/243069/Most-of-us-can.jpg\">

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1287605https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1287605Sun, 11 May 2014 09:28:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to The nature of forgiveness on Sun, 11 May 2014 03:15:16 GMT]]>I get irritated more than I get angry. It takes a lot before I get really angry. I am not shy to release my anger but I usually get over it fast. Most of the explosive action dissipates when I unleash the steam. Anger emotion is usually the built up of negative feelings.


I have learned to forgive else I end up punishing myself with the toxic feelings. I can’t live with myself otherwise.

The Sewol ferry terminal is more than anger. It’s deep grief. That takes time to heal. After the tears and anger, the soul needs quiet time to come to terms with the sorrow.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1287253https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1287253Sun, 11 May 2014 03:15:16 GMT