<![CDATA[Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems]]>im not trying to sound weird but i think most importantly now is to encourage her and praise her for her EFFORTS in trying then her lack on attention.


For Maths, it really needs to go from basic otherwise like kueh lapis, the top layer will not to firm if the basic layers are weak…You can try letting her play on this KHANACADEMY.org which is free maths and science website. It uses games to coach (with video tutorials & hints) to encourage the kids to earn more points and get more badges…You can sign in as parent/coach and you willl be able to monitor her progress, know which particular subject she is weak in and recommend more "games" for her. This website monitors their progress and once they MASTERED certain topics, they move them up to next level… This website helps US GRADE 1 (K2) all the way to University topics…

For English, i always tell my own DD her books are her teachers. However dont mind me saying P3 reading Disney is not really suitable anymore. She should have been exposed to Roald Dahl . Grammar is getting tricky with American and British English and trick questions so a MCQ based book like conquer grammar which may take only 10 mins to do can help her short focus span. Then go through with her after marking but always praise and encourage her efforts & attitude rather than results. If she manage to finish 1 exercise of 10 questions, i think it calls for praise. I found out recently that kids finds it interesting to read model compositions books too as its very local context & they help in vocabulary too! I always try to use different synonyms as well so my DD is exposed to many words as possible. Also, i myself went to read all the grammar guide books as well to be able to help explain the category that particular grammar belongs to and I found it more interesting. I am even reading my DD’s story books both in chinese and English like 小白龙 as i found it more and more interesting!

Tell you wife to spend quality time with her and speak to her to find out her fears… You may want to know her love language and use that to encourage her more… You can find out more about profiling someones love language on the web…

Good luck and take it slow. No point fighting over in front of your kids, will do harm for all of you in long term…

BTW, since last post was so long ago, i really hope things have improved both on the home front and your daughter’s confidence.

Remember, our kids’ emotional well being is far more important than marks. Its easier said than done but i guess if you look past that, both of you will be happier too. From 48 to 50 points, your girl will be over the moon at her improvement so use that time to further praise her instead of continuing to be negative on her…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/73712/family-breaking-down-due-to-our-girls-academic-problemsRSS for NodeMon, 20 Apr 2026 15:49:47 GMTThu, 06 Aug 2015 14:45:35 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 13:58:56 GMT]]>Maths is fun and enjoyable .

Don’t expect too much improvement from children as this may cause stress .
Try to develop her interests for the subject , just going through simple stuff where she can excel . Then motivate her to try harder questions slowly .
Might be time-consuming .
It’s best if student is willing to learn on their own after tuition instead of being forced to tuition .
A tutor can only do this much if student is unwilling to cooperate to improve results .
Bring them to library or take the rest of the children out to provide conducive environment to study .

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1551837https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1551837Fri, 31 Jul 2015 13:58:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Fri, 17 Jul 2015 23:27:30 GMT]]>

winwater:
wonder if getting a competent tutor, that throws out compliments and encouragements lavishly, would help.

kids really need it, given the avalanche of verbals from school, peer pressures, kids wouldn't respond positively to any subject if they FEEL they are bad at it.

Not just kids, even adults need words of encouragement n praises to be motivated.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1541117https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1541117Fri, 17 Jul 2015 23:27:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Fri, 17 Jul 2015 09:31:57 GMT]]>My kids’ math tutor stays in bukit panjang. She is effective. But you would have to go to her place.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1540911https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1540911Fri, 17 Jul 2015 09:31:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Fri, 17 Jul 2015 09:20:44 GMT]]>Hi all


There is a forummer named trcy75x who contacted regarding my daughter’s academic problems. He / she mentioned that there is a very patient Maths tutor I can try out.

I’ve not been able to get in touch with trcy75x - if any of you could point me to him or know of this contact - I’d really appreciate it.

Thanks so much.

Best Regards
Mr Tan

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1540906https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1540906Fri, 17 Jul 2015 09:20:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Tue, 14 Jul 2015 09:13:43 GMT]]>wonder if getting a competent tutor, that throws out compliments and encouragements lavishly, would help.

kids really need it, given the avalanche of verbals from school, peer pressures, kids wouldn’t respond positively to any subject if they FEEL they are bad at it.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1538831https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1538831Tue, 14 Jul 2015 09:13:43 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Sun, 12 Jul 2015 00:23:52 GMT]]>Hi all


Thanks for the numerous replies over time - I’ve not managed to check back into this thread.

I appreciate all your kind words and suggestions of advice. For Maths, my DD is now attending JEI PSLE Math - but it’s still a group class and I feel she is not benefiting as much.

Anyone has suggestions for a one-on-one Maths tutor? My wife and I think she is a bit better now but has still a general fear of Maths.

Thanks so much.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1537232https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1537232Sun, 12 Jul 2015 00:23:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Wed, 31 Dec 2014 18:17:33 GMT]]>

karengoh:
hwtan:

Hi all


This is a follow on thread from my previous post:
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum ... 27&t=73712

Last night I shouted at my DD (Primary 3) to ask her to stop crying after she couldn't do a Maths problem. She got back her Maths mid-year exam (54 out of 100) and we asked her to re-try the problems she left blank (yes, left blank).

What typically happens:

1. Wife and I identify a Maths problem for our DD and start a timer, e.g. 5 minutes.

2. DD attempts to do the Maths problem (e.g. John has some sweets. He packed his sweets equally into 8 bags. Each bag contained 43 sweets and he had 6 sweets left. How many sweets did Mr Gopal have at first?

3. My DD sits there thinking for e.g. 1 to 1.5 minutes without writing anything.
- My wife and I look at her anxiously, hoping she knows how to do it.
- Sometimes she twirls her hair, fidgets with her eraser, etc. We get irritated and ask her to stop that.
- She will hesitantly draw out a model and look at my wife for affirmation.
- If she panicks, she will start crying non-stop.
- My wife and I get very frustrated and e.g. (last night) we tell her nicely we are trying to help her. Please stop crying first.
- She continues to cry and stops. Then cries again.
- The timer goes off, 5 minutes reached and she continues crying.
- This crying can go on for 20 minutes or more.
- Last night one of these things happened (she did badly for maths 54 out of 100 for her mid-year Maths) and I shouted at her to stop crying - we are trying to help you, can you stop crying, we can't help you if you keep crying. We have been trying every night for the last two years trying to help you, if you cry we cannot help you, etc....
- Later after her crying and my shouting, we ask her to do the sum again.
- Again, she does the sum in the same manner - hesitant, unconfident, etc.

4. She has a very hard time putting down the concept, i.e. 8 x 43 = 344 sweets. Then adding 6 sweets to that to give 350 sweets. Her answer in the exam was 5 (this is an actual exam question which we asked her to re-do at home).

The issue is also that this kind of open-ended question is only 2 marks each. But she needs to sketch out a model (in two steps) in order to understand the concept and then calculate. She is very slow in processing the question (low working memory) and getting the calculations down on paper.

5. The frustrating thing is, we know she understands the concepts. Because when we try to let her do the sum (without a timer) - she is fine. She can draw out the models, etc. out just fine and calculate the answer.

6. She also has much less issues with e.g. Science, because she mentions its her favourite subject. And she also doesn't cry for English and Chinese. Although for these other subjects, she also doesn't do well.

My wife and I are really very tired. This kind of thing has been going on for two years. I posted in another thread recently about how my family is also breaking down under this pressure (my older son who is going through PSLE getting ignored and my youngest son also getting ignored, throwing tantrums because all our attention is on helping our daughter).

List of tuition we send her to (and to no avail):
- Berries
- Individual English tuition
- PSLE Maths
- BrainFit

Honestly, sometimes I look at parents with kids who are motivated to study and we think - sigh, if only our kids are like this - I don't know, maybe we brought them up wrong or something. And they lack motivation, self-confidence.

I feel terrible this morning as I type this because I shouted at her at the top of my voice last night. But I couldn't control ... sigh.

Please - we need professional help. If you have any suggestions, please write or message me. We are really on the verge of giving up aid at a total loss how to help her.

Thank you.

Regards
Very Concerned and Troubled Dad

Hi,

Let me try to put together the issues that you raised in both this post and your first post:
- You would like to help your daughter to improve her confidence;
- You would like to help her with exam techniques;
- You would like to help her to improve her vocabulary;
- She is particularly weak in Maths problem sum and she takes a long time to do one question.

First of all, confidence can only be built up if she improves in her ability to tackle her school work or exam questions. If she keeps on struggling with them, it will be difficult for her to improve her confidence. Sine Maths is her weakest subject and is also the source of stress for your family, I would suggest we focus on helping her to improve on her Maths.

Before we do that, let us try to understand the expectation of Primary 3/4 Maths. At this level, the most important thing is to ensure that they really know Mathematical concepts well and have the ability to apply the concepts when needed. As your daughter does not have problem with multiplication and division, I think she is not likely to have dyscalculia. What you need to do is to help her improve on the other aspects of Mathematics, e.g fraction, time, etc except problem sums. In other words, try to let her do more of the multiple choice questions (Section A of exam paper) and short answer questions (Section B of exam paper).
At this moment, you can try to go slow on problem sum until she has shown significant improvements in the other areas. You may wish to know that problem sums only account for between 20 to 30 marks for Primary 3 and Primary 4. Hence, even if she can't do any problem sum, she can still pass her exam if she does well in Sections A and B. You can let her do several sets of just sections A and B of primary 3 exam papers. Make sure you go through the correction with her after each set before she proceeds to the next set. You should be able to see noticeable improvement after she completes about 4 to 5 sets of the exam papers. Pl do not choose papers that are too difficult (such as those from Nan Yang Primary School). Once she sees the improvement, her interest and confidence in Maths will improve.
Once you have done that, you can proceed to help her to improve her problem solving skills. If she has difficulty grasping, you may try changing the number to smaller numbers, e.g in the question you mentioned, change the number 43 to a smaller number say 5. When the number becomes smaller, it would be much easier for you to explain to her how she could handle this question. You could tell her, one bag will have 5 and two bags will have 10, etc. With smaller number to work on, it will also be easier for her to draw models and hence learn the concept. When you are getting her to learn problem sums, try to get many similar questions for her to practice.
Now let me touch on the next issue. What if she forgets how to do it during exam? This is actually fairly common among students. Let me borrow 5 of the strategies from \"How to Teach so Students Remember\" by Marilee Sprenger. These 5 strategies are reflect, recode, reinforce, rehearse and review. Whenever you go through a new concept with her, always get her to reflect on what she has just learnt that day. Recode is to get her to copy the correct answer and if time permits, get her to redo questions that you have taught her. Reinforce is to give feedback if she has learnt the concepts correctly. You can give her some short quiz every week going through similar questions making sure that she did learn them correctly. Rehearse is to get her to practice. Review is very important before exam as you should let her try out similar exam papers so that she can be exposed to the types of questions that are likely to come out in exam. At the same time, you will also be able to gauge if she is ready for the exam.
Do take note that you can apply the 5 strategies for all her subjects.
You may want to read the following posts for more information on how I helped my students to improve their maths:


http://lamlearninghub.wordpress.com/2014/08/25/primary-school-mathematics/
http://lamlearninghub.wordpress.com/2014/09/26/what-is-your-thinking-style-inchworm-or-grasshopper/

Best regards

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1440799https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1440799Wed, 31 Dec 2014 18:17:33 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Thu, 06 Nov 2014 11:34:11 GMT]]>

hwtan:
Hi all


This is a follow on thread from my previous post:
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum ... 27&t=73712

Last night I shouted at my DD (Primary 3) to ask her to stop crying after she couldn't do a Maths problem. She got back her Maths mid-year exam (54 out of 100) and we asked her to re-try the problems she left blank (yes, left blank).

What typically happens:

1. Wife and I identify a Maths problem for our DD and start a timer, e.g. 5 minutes.

2. DD attempts to do the Maths problem (e.g. John has some sweets. He packed his sweets equally into 8 bags. Each bag contained 43 sweets and he had 6 sweets left. How many sweets did Mr Gopal have at first?

3. My DD sits there thinking for e.g. 1 to 1.5 minutes without writing anything.
- My wife and I look at her anxiously, hoping she knows how to do it.
- Sometimes she twirls her hair, fidgets with her eraser, etc. We get irritated and ask her to stop that.
- She will hesitantly draw out a model and look at my wife for affirmation.
- If she panicks, she will start crying non-stop.
- My wife and I get very frustrated and e.g. (last night) we tell her nicely we are trying to help her. Please stop crying first.
- She continues to cry and stops. Then cries again.
- The timer goes off, 5 minutes reached and she continues crying.
- This crying can go on for 20 minutes or more.
- Last night one of these things happened (she did badly for maths 54 out of 100 for her mid-year Maths) and I shouted at her to stop crying - we are trying to help you, can you stop crying, we can't help you if you keep crying. We have been trying every night for the last two years trying to help you, if you cry we cannot help you, etc....
- Later after her crying and my shouting, we ask her to do the sum again.
- Again, she does the sum in the same manner - hesitant, unconfident, etc.

4. She has a very hard time putting down the concept, i.e. 8 x 43 = 344 sweets. Then adding 6 sweets to that to give 350 sweets. Her answer in the exam was 5 (this is an actual exam question which we asked her to re-do at home).

The issue is also that this kind of open-ended question is only 2 marks each. But she needs to sketch out a model (in two steps) in order to understand the concept and then calculate. She is very slow in processing the question (low working memory) and getting the calculations down on paper.

5. The frustrating thing is, we know she understands the concepts. Because when we try to let her do the sum (without a timer) - she is fine. She can draw out the models, etc. out just fine and calculate the answer.

6. She also has much less issues with e.g. Science, because she mentions its her favourite subject. And she also doesn't cry for English and Chinese. Although for these other subjects, she also doesn't do well.

My wife and I are really very tired. This kind of thing has been going on for two years. I posted in another thread recently about how my family is also breaking down under this pressure (my older son who is going through PSLE getting ignored and my youngest son also getting ignored, throwing tantrums because all our attention is on helping our daughter).

List of tuition we send her to (and to no avail):
- Berries
- Individual English tuition
- PSLE Maths
- BrainFit

Honestly, sometimes I look at parents with kids who are motivated to study and we think - sigh, if only our kids are like this - I don't know, maybe we brought them up wrong or something. And they lack motivation, self-confidence.

I feel terrible this morning as I type this because I shouted at her at the top of my voice last night. But I couldn't control ... sigh.

Please - we need professional help. If you have any suggestions, please write or message me. We are really on the verge of giving up aid at a total loss how to help her.

Thank you.

Regards
Very Concerned and Troubled Dad
Hello very concerned and troubled dad,

I just read about your story here and felt sorry that you are in this depressed situation.

Ever thought of getting a one-to-one tutor to coach your girl ?

From my experience, a home tutor helps alot, especially to children who has attention span problem or just abit slow in digesting concepts.

If you think you want to try out a home tutor, just call me at 81382852, email: contact@hi5tutors.com. I have recommended many tutors and most parents are really happy with them.

website : http://www.hi5tutors.com. Testimonials available at hi5tutors.wordpress.com

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1411500https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1411500Thu, 06 Nov 2014 11:34:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Fri, 12 Sep 2014 14:16:46 GMT]]>what is important to learn is phonics…will help the child learn to spell and read.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1381244https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1381244Fri, 12 Sep 2014 14:16:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Fri, 12 Sep 2014 07:51:03 GMT]]>

Elias:
Hi can I join in here too? I am worried sick of my K2 kid


He can read all high frequency words and can only spell certain words but not lots. I still feel not enough.

Pls help and advise he is going henry park primary school next year.

Pls revert to me:)
P1 spelling at Henry Park primary -
only 10 words per spelling exercise, and basic simple words only

your son can cope.
Don't over worry, don't panic

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1381033https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1381033Fri, 12 Sep 2014 07:51:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Fri, 12 Sep 2014 07:18:02 GMT]]>Dear Elias


Different child develops at different pace. (Physically, some children has growth spurts in Primary and some in Secondary). Cognitively as well.

Noticed your expectation of your k2 kid - you feel it is not enough. Possibly comparing with other children you know?

k2 assuming 6 years old would probably pick up by means of hearing.
If he can read, meaning he can recognise the words.

If I give this paragraph to you (as an adult), you can read this?

\"Unisg the icndeblire pweor of the hmuan mnid, aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae.\"\"

Your kid can recognise just like you can recognise mis-spelled words.
However, to actually spell a word, it requires a higher level of skill (more detail).

If you notice this difference, perhaps relate how a word sound to how a word is spelt. Phonics or in terms of syllable? See if it helps him?

Take care, be patient and positive for him 🙂



Hi can I join in here too? I am worried sick of my K2 kid

He can read all high frequency words and can only spell certain words but not lots. I still feel not enough.

Pls help and advise he is going henry park primary school next year.

Pls revert to me:)

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1381020https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1381020Fri, 12 Sep 2014 07:18:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Sun, 31 Aug 2014 23:40:12 GMT]]>

Elias:
Hi can I join in here too? I am worried sick of my K2 kid


He can read all high frequency words and can only spell certain words but not lots. I still feel not enough.

Pls help and advise he is going henry park primary school next year.

Pls revert to me:)
I'm not sure why you should be worried sick if your son is in K2. It's normal for some kids to be still learning to read at this age, and spelling should follow reading. Let him learn to spell gradually as he learns to use the words. He will get practice in school, and as he uses the language more. Frankly, spelling on its own is a fairly low-level skill, so I wouldn't worry about it. Focus on reading and understanding instead, and spelling will naturally come with familiarity and use. Make it fun and interesting by reading to him a lot, and he will learn to enjoy reading and eventually read better. Avoid too many drills and tests as that kills interest.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1374247https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1374247Sun, 31 Aug 2014 23:40:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Sun, 31 Aug 2014 15:36:18 GMT]]>Hi can I join in here too? I am worried sick of my K2 kid


He can read all high frequency words and can only spell certain words but not lots. I still feel not enough.

Pls help and advise he is going henry park primary school next year.

Pls revert to me:)

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1374204https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1374204Sun, 31 Aug 2014 15:36:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Mon, 02 Jun 2014 15:12:33 GMT]]>Just to share a video here:


http://www.amazon.com/gp/mpd/permalink/m295J7TFVIVLRE/?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=ur2&tag=singmathtuit-20&linkId=VDLPJWSCRWBSKWH4

It is a video of a girl who once did a math quiz and totally blanked out for the whole quiz. However, it turned out that her teacher did not actually ask for the quiz back, and gave her as much time as she wanted to complete the quiz. Under the relaxed circumstances, she completed the quiz and got a 'C'. (big improvement from totally blank).

Then, she went to UCLA (very good school in US), and became a mathematics major, and wrote the book that is listed below the video!

Truly inspiring. For some kids, too much pressure may result in Math anxiety and totally blank out, while for other kids a little bit of pressure is needed to ensure that they do take studies seriously. Need to find the perfect balance for each child.

**The book the girl above wrote is: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452289491/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0452289491&linkCode=as2&tag=singmathtuit-20&linkId=MGGFN6JSMT5ZHD4A

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1304783https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1304783Mon, 02 Jun 2014 15:12:33 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Sun, 25 May 2014 15:35:59 GMT]]>Hi hwtan,


This video below is a Parental guide, for parents to help test their child check whether they can count properly, can do sequencing of numbers ?

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GstqJ5sEEoo

If your dd no issue with above simple tests, at least we clear this.
then move on next to try some other tests, trace where is her fundamental root source of her problem lie ?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1299529https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1299529Sun, 25 May 2014 15:35:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Sun, 25 May 2014 15:17:03 GMT]]>

sembgal:

Hi, I think you should get your child checked up for dyscalculia as “a wide range of lifelong learning disabilities involving math.

There is no single type of math disability.
Dyscalculia can vary from person to person.
And, it can affect people differently at different stages of life.

Read: http://www.dyscalculia.org
Symptoms of dyscalculia
http://spectrumlearning.com.sg/

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1299517https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1299517Sun, 25 May 2014 15:17:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Wed, 21 May 2014 06:37:58 GMT]]>

Sun_2010:
ammonite:

Maybe a moderator can hive off the (backup) education for girls/tai tai posts and put it under ... er, working with kids? recess? relationship? Je ne sais pas!


And will be good to merge the two theads by hwtan into one. Right now both threads are active. Or split between advice for working with the kids, and advice for parents on how to maintain some zen.

Just a suggestion.

:oops:
Thanks ammonite.
Mods :?:

Not at all! I forsee a very lively debate on all three threads! :rahrah:

Your son is amazing by the way!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296637https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296637Wed, 21 May 2014 06:37:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Wed, 21 May 2014 06:18:46 GMT]]>Have you spoken to the teacher in school on this issues that your girl could not catch up with her lesson? I think the school do provide counsellor to help students on academic as well as personal problem, so together with the teacher they may be able to provide an appropriate solution to your problem. I think the school has a part to play in helping the parents cope with the learning issues as not all parents has the skill sets to teach even if they wanted to.

Another thing that i want to mention is that some school do teach on a faster pace than other school. I heard from my relatives that the more popular school tends to teach at a faster pace, so if your child is could not catch up due to this reason, it is better to transfer her out so that she is more comfortable to learn in the right environment.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296614https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296614Wed, 21 May 2014 06:18:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Wed, 21 May 2014 06:09:40 GMT]]>

ammonite:
Maybe a moderator can hive off the (backup) education for girls/tai tai posts and put it under ... er, working with kids? recess? relationship? Je ne sais pas!


And will be good to merge the two theads by hwtan into one. Right now both threads are active. Or split between advice for working with the kids, and advice for parents on how to maintain some zen.

Just a suggestion.
:oops:
Thanks ammonite.
Mods :?:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296609https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296609Wed, 21 May 2014 06:09:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Wed, 21 May 2014 06:08:00 GMT]]>

jetsetter:
Sun_2010:

[quote=\"LifeIsAJourney\"]
My girl once told me that she don't understand why she needs to study so much, memories this and that, getting good marks... OMG...I've explained multiple times to her... but she just don't get it...

I too tell my kids must study, do well in school. I give them work to do, nag, and at times scold.
But unfortunately , I too dunno why. Why must memorize, why must get good marks , I really really dunno. Honest. :faint:

I think most kids dunno why they've been told to strive for excellence (nb: I didn't say \"study\"). They don't hv a good-enough goal or dream in life to work towards...

Good to lay down tangible goals and targets so that they know what they're in for. Ask and check: Do they know the meaning of money? Do they covet fame and glory enough? Do they want to better their lot (vs their current status)? Do they want to labour and toil for hours on the streets, or do they relish slouching comfortably in their Herman Miller leather chair, peering out of their 38th storey office at MBFC? Do they desire to drive a fiery Ferrari or a fire engine? Do they look at the seaview house with sheer determination? Do they look at the Donald Trump building or Republic Plaza and say here's my beacon?

Do they look at those who labour and toil for hours on the streets with sympathy and pledge to help them when they grow up? Good, then ask them how they think they could help better the lot of those guys if they don't have enough resources and time-offs from bosses. They first have to get better than those downtrodden folks to be able to help them.

If all these are not important because your DC is not born ambitious, materialistic, mercenary or curious about the outside world, but the sort who is easily contented and loves staying in his/she comfort zone, then he/she will just reap what he/she sows. So don't gawk at Mr Jones' new 3-storey house and assume he didn't strive hard in the past and present to earn that new property, while you were nua-ing in your couch or 9-5 job!

俗話說：「一分耕耘，一分收穫。」世界上有些人做事都腳踏實地的辛勤耕耘，雖然資質不好，但仍有一番成就；有些人雖然資質很好，但每天遊手好閒、不求上進，反而會輸給努力不懈的人！

像李時珍小時候體弱多病，飽嚐病痛之苦！他因為有生病的身之痛，於是他立志當醫生。他為了救人，不怕千辛萬苦，走遍大江南北，努力不懈、不眠不休的蒐集兩千多種草藥，並加以研究。終於他完成了他的心血結晶－本草綱目。就因為他努力的成果，而救了不少人呢！

但不是所有人都跟他一樣的。宋朝的方仲永，他五歲就會做詩！鄉田中，人人稱他神童，方仲永的爸爸就帶他四處誇耀，去別人家裡作詩。結果方仲永卻因此志得意滿，不再讀書、練字，荒廢學業，整天去人家家裡作詩。久而久之，方仲永就跟平常人沒兩樣，長大後文思也退步了。真是「小時了了，大未必佳」啊！

所以說，李時珍努力不懈的找草藥，努力的成果就是使他名垂千古，人人口耳相傳；但方仲永不努力讀書，浪費了與生俱來的天賦，令人不勝唏噓！所以我深信：天下沒有白吃的午餐，只要努力耕耘，世界上最美味的午餐就近在眼前。[/quote]Its not about hard work .
He asks
Why you want me to be excellent in English, MT, Maths and Science. Why memorise? How does writing that great compo with all those beautiful make me achieve my ambition?

He is all for hard work. And his passion puts me to shame. In fact for the things he wants to do , he doesnt even consider it work.
Just somethings that happened over this last month. I agreed to participate in this contest, if he put in this amount of work for his SA1. He did. So now , I have to go for this competition. I told him about how bad I am, how I would lose all rounds, and make a fool of my self, So this Saturday he showed me his training schedule for me.
1. Selection of videos explaining strategy for beginners.
2. Videos he played, pausing and asking me, so know what I would do, giving me clues if I am stuck.
3. Puzzles for me to work on ( he designed them)
4. Then we play together, when he explains why that was a good play and why that was a bad play.
5. Every day I come home , he is patiently waiting till I am ready. We do a 45 min- 1 hr session.

I am not an assessment book person. When i teach its interactive. But looking at his style, I need lessons in enthusiasm, in breaking up my teaching lessons to meet his need, in spicing it up. And honestly I cant teach him about excellence.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296605https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296605Wed, 21 May 2014 06:08:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Wed, 21 May 2014 06:05:16 GMT]]>Maybe a moderator can hive off the (backup) education for girls/tai tai posts and put it under … er, working with kids? recess? relationship? Je ne sais pas!


And will be good to merge the two theads by hwtan into one. Right now both threads are active. Or split between advice for working with the kids, and advice for parents on how to maintain some zen.

Just a suggestion.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296602https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296602Wed, 21 May 2014 06:05:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Wed, 21 May 2014 06:02:46 GMT]]>OT: Just read a tragedy:

http://www.straitstimes.com/news/asia/e ... t-20140521

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296600https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296600Wed, 21 May 2014 06:02:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Family breaking down due to our girls academic problems on Wed, 21 May 2014 05:41:58 GMT]]>

jetsetter:
Integer:

I don't have a daughter. If I had one, I definitely won't be raising her with the view of using education as a backup. If along the way, she meets ivy league guys or become a rich tai tai, then fine and gd. If not, also fine and gd by me.


of course education is a backup! If the rich hubby decides to ditch you, you still can find employment and 自食其力。

Sorry but I really really dont get it. Education a back up??

Education is about learning , its about growing up, its about understanding people, its about discovering the world.
How can education be something as uni-dimensional as a \"certification\"

I cherish my education for what it has made me. And really really hope my kids get to feel that too.

Honestly \"rich husband\" didnt come anywhere in my ambitions.
No man can \"ditch\" me, and no matter how broke I am, I am my own person - Education has built that self esteem and confidence in me.

Women have stood on their feet with and without a degree.

Of course that's just my way of thinking , apologies if it came on strongly, but it is just that I feel strongly about this.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296591https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1296591Wed, 21 May 2014 05:41:58 GMT