How do your kids de-stress ?

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Mon, 22 Feb 2010 04:26:23 GMT

schellen — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 04:26:23 GMT

sashimi and I have realised that buying kits for DD1 is a waste of money; she may try it out for an hour or so before chucking it aside forever. However, whenever she spots unwanted materials like bubble wrap, the boxes our online shopping arrives in, etc, she will ask for them. I think she dislikes following instructions and templates. She'd rather create her own stuff as and when she wants to.

Lately, she has started a diary/scrapbook. It's kind of like a journal/diary interspersed with magazine cut-outs. Whenever I'm done with a magazine, she will ask for certain pages in it. As time passes, stacks of such pages appear in corners of her room and table so I suggested that she could create a scrapbook of sorts. She shows us selected pages from it occasionally. Basically, she would cut out certain \"items\" from the pages she has collected, stick them either individually or in a collage in her book and write a caption or a short paragraph about whatever she has pasted/created. I'm very glad as this keeps her busy, away from the PC and cuts down on the stacks of papers lying around.

When all else fails, I tell her to read. As long as there is something interesting to read, she will remain occupied as opposed to whining to me about being bored or not being able to use the PC/Nintendo DS while I'm busy with DD2. (The only drawback about this is that we have to visit libraries very often and haul a lot of books back and forth.)

At her grandparents' homes, she gets to ride her bikes. She has a skate scooter at home too which is underused so I'm thinking of getting her to use it when she requests to go for another of her solitary walks downstairs.

I only have one problem now (other than her obsession with her new HP, which sashimi thinks will fade after the novelty wears off): With so many things to do, it's difficult to get her to stick to her schedule of meals, showers, homework, piano, chores and assessments. :stupid:

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Mon, 22 Feb 2010 04:21:39 GMT

Funz — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 04:21:39 GMT

This is a point of contention between DH and myself. DH is a tech junkie. He has all the latest and bestest gadgets. He got DD and DS each an ipod touch. In it he downloaded a lot of supposedly educational games.

I on the other hand do not like the idea of computer aided learning or games especially for preschoolers. I find that it shortens their attention span, slows their fine motor skill development and even delays independant reading.

Since getting the ipod touch, where in the past dd will pick up a book to read or do some craft whenever she is free, she now picks up the touch instead. And if told to stop the game, she will get downright sulky.

So solution to that, mummy locks up the touch. They are only allowed 30mins of play each time after they have completed their work or chores, once in the morning and once in the evening.

And guess what. DH is talking about getting DD her own laptop :frustrated:

Haizz so sometimes, to the kids, Daddy is Santa Claus and Mummy is the Scrooge.

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Mon, 22 Feb 2010 02:30:44 GMT

tamarind — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 02:30:44 GMT

My girl is now 7 years old, and my boy will be 6 years old this year. I have not bought any PSP or electronic games for them

I have been teaching my kids sewing and origami now. Both of which are very cheap hobbies, but excellent for developing fine motor skills, concentration and perseverance. Read my blog to see photos of what they have done :

http://tamarindvillage.blogspot.com/2010/02/hobbies-sewing-and-origami.html

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Mon, 28 Dec 2009 20:23:07 GMT

tamarind — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 20:23:07 GMT

deminc:
tamarind:
My kids like to play with ZOOB. It is even more interesting than Lego, because the parts can move.

Eh? But Lego have moveable parts no? Lego gears are great if your kids like to build their own contraptions. But lego pieces are smaller. Zoob is friendlier for little hands.
http://images.google.com.sg/images?sourceid=navclient&rlz=1T4SUNA_enSG308SG308&q=lego+gears&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=t9A4S92VDM-IkAWt7JCFCQ&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=4&ved=0CB0QsAQwAw

Thanks for sharing

ZOOB is \"organic\", it is much more suitable for creating animals with legs and arms that can move. Lego blocks are good for creating machines.

ZOOB pieces are actually harder to fit together because the joints are spherical. That's why the recommended age is 6+.

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Mon, 28 Dec 2009 15:47:32 GMT

cnimed — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 15:47:32 GMT

tamarind:
My kids like to play with ZOOB. It is even more interesting than Lego, because the parts can move.

Eh? But Lego have moveable parts no? Lego gears are great if your kids like to build their own contraptions. But lego pieces are smaller. Zoob is friendlier for little hands.
http://images.google.com.sg/images?sourceid=navclient&rlz=1T4SUNA_enSG308SG308&q=lego+gears&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=t9A4S92VDM-IkAWt7JCFCQ&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=4&ved=0CB0QsAQwAw

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:49:01 GMT

buds — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:49:01 GMT

Agree.

The part on \"meaningless\" and may i add \"violent\" games
as well... the part on the headaches... the part on the
specky... i agree. Speaking of which, there ARE good
games that can be uploaded on hand held devices
IF the time should come...

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:41:49 GMT

tamarind — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:41:49 GMT

buds:
Bb... bb...but... Chief is addicted to everything and

anything computer... and he's quite the IT expert! :siam:

I like IT stuff too but i'm just only addicted to KSP. For real! :oops:

There are hundreds of other things that can be done using the computer besides playing computer games. I wrote earlier that I am only against playing meaningless games. In my previous job, I spend 8 hours a day looking at the computer, anyway my eyesight has suffered, and I also suffer from headaches.

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:36:30 GMT

buds — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:36:30 GMT

Blobbi:
About your other post - PC games was definitely the baby sitter for the evening and more . It's good to be a SAHP so we can keep watch. Me PT-SAHP but mostly manageable so far (like you say, still young wor, so he'll listen).

Yah, dunno yet in future how.

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:34:57 GMT

buds — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:34:57 GMT

Bb... bb...but... Chief is addicted to everything and

anything computer... and he's quite the IT expert! :siam:

I like IT stuff too but i'm just only addicted to KSP. For real! :oops:

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:30:35 GMT

tamarind — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:30:35 GMT

By exposing our kids to a wide range of hobbies and interests, kids have more choices and it is less likely that they become addicted to PSP or computer games.

Yesterday I brought my kids to http://www.claycove.com/ for a pottery class, and they really enjoy it. Today I was making air dry roses with my kids, and I realize that it is a great way for me to de-stress.

During long drives, we don't have any TV or toys in our car. My kids will find something to talk about, and they will talk to each other all the way home. I am happy to see this interaction, rather than to have each child glued to a PSP.

Many hobbies can have good outcomes. For example :
Addicted to reading - I was addicted to reading Chinese novels when I was a teenager, the outcome was that I scored top marks for Chinese all the way to JC.

Addicted to baking - can open bakery chains or become successful like Breadtalk, or work as bakers to earn a living

Addicted to sewing - can become world famous fashion designer, or open up shops to custom make clothes to earn a living

As for addiction to PSP and computer games, there are only negative outcomes : bad eyesight and headaches from staring at the screen for too long, loss of concentration when not playing games, mental block when solving maths problems, and don't expect to earn a living playing computer games.

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Fri, 25 Dec 2009 08:47:25 GMT

Blobbi — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 08:47:25 GMT

buds:
It's ok with me. Guess it reali boils down to many aspects la.

Environment, parental involvement and guidance, time of intro,
discipline, character and a wealth of other areas to look into.
Even so, we may still not know if after all the resistance to
introduce later will not end up with addiction. I'm just saying no
two apples are quite the same, that's all there is to it. ..

Yah so true. And really, we can't tell if they'll be addicted or not in the future. Remarkably, my son isn't addicted to the TV, so who really knows what makes them tick!!

About your other post - PC games was definitely the baby sitter for the evening and more . It's good to be a SAHP so we can keep watch. Me PT-SAHP but mostly manageable so far (like you say, still young wor, so he'll listen).

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Fri, 25 Dec 2009 07:54:19 GMT

buds — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 07:54:19 GMT

As for the part of the norm of social gatherings..

For us we plan to have stuff for everyone to do
when we meet up. If per se Christmass, we'd
have other than makan, there wud also be
family games and banter where everyone is
included. Like the occasional simon says game,
charades, pictionary, or going through the old
photo albums for reminiscence of \"who was that\"
guessing games.... Children are not necessarily
cornered to one place where they do their own
stuff...

And usually PCs in the host/hostess' home wud
not be on. The parents do not take out handheld
games for the children to play even if they have 1.
We move around the family groups and take the
time to catch up with everybody in the extended
family as what the gatherings were intended for.

At times, old family videos wud be screened so tt
everyone can see how life was back then and agn
begin the chatter on how kampong spirit reali was
so much fun.

If as adults, we allow the children to do their stuff
to keep them quiet at every gathering since they
were young, it would seem natural to be in the
same environment every year down the road to
all the family gatherings.

So the idea is preferably to get everybody involved.
At least that's how it is with our gatherings.. And it
is a nice feeling... of strong kinship. Hopefully the
family events that we've enjoyed thus far remains
that way. :grphug:

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Fri, 25 Dec 2009 07:43:37 GMT

buds — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 07:43:37 GMT

It's ok with me. Guess it reali boils down to many aspects la.

Environment, parental involvement and guidance, time of intro,
discipline, character and a wealth of other areas to look into.
Even so, we may still not know if after all the resistance to
introduce later will not end up with addiction. I'm just saying no
two apples are quite the same, that's all there is to it. Though
mine aren't addicted now mebbe since they're younger and can
still adhere to reasoning (listen to parents) and not that hard-
headed tween yet, they aren't showing signs of being attached
to gaming. But should i allow them to play with the handhelds
for more than what is initially allowed, i am pretty sure they
wud think of games all the time too. Since i'm the SAHP, i am
fortunate to have the luxury to look out for such signs (if it shud
arrive... nott..)... and find other stuff to do with them
when they are done with schoolwork or on school breaks/hols.
We didn't introduce it in fact.. The girls were planning on saving
school money plus festive $ collections to get one. Hehee.. I
stalled it last couple of years by saying i don't have enough $
to buy. I get them to think that buying one would be akin to
not eating for 300 over days.... to save at the rate of $1 per
day. So, it might justify getting one for them IF they scored
say 100 over 100 for all 3 subjects??? :rotflmao: 300 over
days cannot eat, no joke ya know.. :lol: Since their handhelds
were gifts from gramps, i had to push forward the disciplinary
stuff and time management much earlier. Just thankfully, for
now... they are fine with or without the hand held. Not die-die
must play everyday kind... so i guess i'm blessed... For
awhile..

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Fri, 25 Dec 2009 04:21:46 GMT

Blobbi — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 04:21:46 GMT

buds:
Heyya Tam.. i guess where the norm now is that both parents hafta go out

to work, computer games and handhelds are easy access and keeps the
child busy at home which is still better than going out with god-knows
what kind of friends, right? Especially for older children and tweens. For
parents who can afford to be home, then mebbe more outdoorsy stuff
would be more possible... like swimming, jogging, blading, cycling... (etc)
and also other indoor activities like scrabble, pictionary, monopoly.. (etc)
too.

Younger children easier to find stuff for them to do. Older ones are the
more challenging ones to help de-stress. As children grow, they like would
be keen in other things their age. I suppose it is a matter of parental
choice and situations & not necessarily a matter of whether it is a good
thing or a bad thing.

It is true though that if we do not introduce, they wouldn't know. But let's
also think about it in another way. If the child gets introduced to it in
school or after school by other friends and we do not know... child
borrows and plays with it... God knows what kinda games they're
playing... :roll:... wouldn't it also prove to be a good thing that our kids do
know how to use them wisely & appropriately? As in we have set good
examples of proper time management and proper usage of devices just
like the use of the PC. Cannot say oso that we shouldn't introduce them
to use the PC for fear of them in future jumping into pornographic or those
suicidal sites.. right? As children grow, the world also keeps evolving...
technology keeps evolving. For me, i do find it is also relevant to keep up
with the times for certain things.

...
I do understand that from your experience it has been tough not to
associate gaming devices with addiction.. which leads to the eventual
downfall of the child's life. Hence you have a strong views for it which
are true, happening and very valid.

But then again also cannot blanket sweep right... :oops: :siam: cos it
doesn't necessarily mean that though one child IS like that, EVERY other
child will be like that... or will end up like that or be lead to that, god
forbid. :xedfingers: We can learn from the examples of others. Good
& bad examples can be used for our own reflections as to how we
want our children to be in future.. so subjective choices are really for
parents to make and decide.

Hi Buds, rereading what you said, I wonder if it all boils down to what personalities our kids have. I read that boys in particular tend to have the sort of brain that would be easily addicted to computer games. Not all boys, but unfortunately, my son fits the profile - if he likes something, he'll like it excessively (I feel). As in, he has no time for other things.

So in our case, I think we have to do the \"later is better\" type of introduction to computer games. Yep, he'll see it in school. Sure he'll learn it from his friends, but I'm not going to buy him one to play with for the foreseeable future.

Last night at my friend's annual Christmas party, all the boys were huddled around little screens. Even the younger ones who had gone on to P1 last year were doing the same, kind of like an annual graduation into PC gaminghood when they go to school. Only the kids who haven't as yet stepped into P1 were still running around, but the picture will likely change again next year. It struck me doubly hard cos my son will be in that \"cohort\" from next year.

Think I'm dragging this out to comment because I was a bit disturbed by what I saw.

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Thu, 24 Dec 2009 06:59:21 GMT

Blobbi — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 06:59:21 GMT

EN:
[quote]Many hobbies are not addictive.

Baking not addicted. In my teenagers, I started baking every week. I don't mind cleaning up BUT...there's not enough people to eat what I bake. The neighbours love the food but my mum says, I'm wasting. kekeke.

The very addictive hobby is actually reading. Just like what mummy of 2 says she rushed through her homework. Me and dd forget homework. If really need be then we rushed our homework. I ban myself from reading early this year and just started to read again when I know I have kicked my bad habit of marathon reading.[/quote]Yah, reading is super addictive. I even used to try to read in the shower :shock: .

I also loved baking, except I'm always my best customer .

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:57:47 GMT

Happygolucky — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:57:47 GMT

BY mopping the floor or rather writing/drawing with mop and water. She volunteered during exam period and stopped once exams end. Said a good of exercise and really helps to de-stress.

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:50:52 GMT

en107rn.01056yahoo.01056com.01056sg — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:50:52 GMT

[quote]Many hobbies are not addictive.[/quote]
Baking not addicted. In my teenagers, I started baking every week. I don't mind cleaning up BUT...there's not enough people to eat what I bake. The neighbours love the food but my mum says, I'm wasting. kekeke.

The very addictive hobby is actually reading. Just like what mummy of 2 says she rushed through her homework. Me and dd forget homework. If really need be then we rushed our homework. I ban myself from reading early this year and just started to read again when I know I have kicked my bad habit of marathon reading.

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 15:51:47 GMT

tamarind — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 15:51:47 GMT

Many hobbies are not addictive. It is not possible to be addicted to baking . There is too much cleaning to be done

It is not correct to compare PSP/computer games to baking. PSP and computer games are highly addictive, and these do bad things to the brain, erodes the child's motivation to study, and stifles creativity, as I wrote before. Kids who are smart can still do reasonably well. But please spare a thought to the majority of kids who are average. Even if you let these kids play for only 2 hours a day, they spend the rest of the day thinking about the games. Moderation is not going to help. Believe me, I have seen so many cases. BTW, there are over 10000 students at the place where I teach. I have encountered parents who tell me they don't know what to do to stop their kids from playing computer games all day long. Once they are addicted, it is too late. They will not listen to anyone.

The fact is that PSP costs money, does NO good, and is potentially addictive and harmful. I know many parents use the PSP as a babysitter. I would rather let the TV be the babysitter, because it is less addictive than the PSP. I only have Leapfrog and Little Einsteins so I feel less guilty.

I also wonder why parents are so concerned about keeping their kids occupied all day long. It is perfectly alright to let the kids just day dream and do nothing. Sooner or later they will find something constructive to do. My kids do not have PSP, do not play computer games everyday, and they watch only about 1 hour of TV everyday. They spend their time thinking of new things to do, and I am very happy to see their creations.

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:53:28 GMT

mummy of 2 — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:53:28 GMT

I think exposure to anything requires guidance and rules. Moderation is important. Total depravation may not always work, as it will make the forbidden item/activity seem even more desirable.

I was addicted to reading during my schooling years, and would rush to finish my homework so I could go back to the book on hand. So anything in excess is not good.

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:48:47 GMT

en107rn.01056yahoo.01056com.01056sg — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:48:47 GMT

[quote]My kids can be glued to http://www.starfall.com for a couple of hours. I am not going to spend the money to buy the PSP for them. If there are other free and educational online games, I will let them play too. I would rather spend my money on useful skills, I want to teach them how to cook, bake, sew(for the girl), may be even carpentry(for the boy).[/quote]
I hear you there. The best is to have a good balance of study and play. Just like the adult juggling work life balance. I want my kids to have a balance study and play. As I quoted my earlier childhood days, where I would rather be inside my own room, reading, play with my imaginary friends or spend time with my grandmother, my parents felt that it was not a balance life style that a normal child would have.

Imagine your daughter loves to bake and do baking only. It will strike fear in your heart too and as parents you will definitely want her to venture to other area type of play.

So, for PSP or any other addictive past time (haha including reading), parents do need to step in and help guide their children to balance their interest out.

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:46:52 GMT

buds — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:46:52 GMT

:rotflmao:

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:43:33 GMT

tamarind — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:43:33 GMT

buds:

And pity the parents who have worked so hard..

The parents do not even understand what has gone wrong. We often have to talk to the parents, and they also do not know what to do.

I was very hardworking when I was young, because there was nothing better to do. Studying was the most interesting thing next to nothing, so I was very motivated to study.

Nowadays, PSP and computer games are so interesting to the kids, and they can spend hours and hours playing them. When they are bored with one game, there are always newer and more exciting games. Kids will naturally prefer to play games than to study.

There are many parents in this forum who ask how to motivate a child. Well, the easiest way, is to create an environment, in which the child has nothing better to do, then they will study

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:35:43 GMT

buds — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:35:43 GMT

EN:
Jokes aside. My two sweetheart at home besides being glued taking turns to play PSP, they have other games or things that they like.

Playing monopoly, chess, checkers, \"congkak\" (a Malay traditional game), lego, doll house, drawing, reading and watching tv are their all time favourite past time. Tomorrow, based on special request, ds wants us to play hide and seek in the house. 4 of us. There's plenty of place to hide.

Weekends, we look forward to watch movies in the house together. We walk and run to various reservoirs on weekends or swim.

I'm glad my kids turn out to be a very normal healthy kids. I remember my parents telling me to go out and play rather than be coped in the room all the time. Playing make belief alone to de-stress also cannot. One thought I'm :siao: and the other thought I have an invisible friend (ghost lah).

Same-o same-o with me-o. :celebrate:

Reply to How do your kids de-stress ? on Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:33:57 GMT

buds — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:33:57 GMT

That's a pity. I find it a true loss for kids with potential who

only waste away their opportunities for better and higher
education. In fact, even as an adult and a mom and a free
lance educator, i find that the learning journey is truly endless.
And pity the parents who have worked so hard..