How do you control your child's Computer time

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Sat, 07 Oct 2023 22:29:02 GMT

00skyblue00 — Sat, 07 Oct 2023 22:29:02 GMT

Correction.

Just recalled, due to covid lockdown, kid started using libby for ebooks and audio books in p5. She also started using devices since p5 to write stories. We did had issues of too much e-reading ever since. But i wld hope she learnt abt doulingo app then, she could start learning something new back then. Can tell she got time to spare in pri sch, so fortunately piano and books got her occupied. But one kid example may not be representative of whole population. Better if there is some study to look into optimum time to intro tech to children and how to ensure appropriate use of it.

00skyblue00\" post_id=\"2120203\" time=\"1696593354\" user_id=\"143605:
I am not sure if the current gen go by such practice anymore, \"calling\" others names for not knowing A to Z functions. Our schools and I am sure our society teach our children to be inclusive. If my kid was asked how to, she will share what she knows and she also gladly ask her friends in sch when she need.

Tbh, my kid never use much computer or phone in pre pri and pri days. She didn't own her own phone then. She use a shared phone when need to if she attends some events and need us to pick her up. We never install apps in phone. Only use for communication. Now in sec, i dont think she is penalised or felt left out. She is a certain book genre fanatic, but she doesnt go ard calling ppl names just because they dont know details A to Z of what she is craze at. Being the first to know how to use latest function XX is no big deal, nowadays can just google or ask. Those who can first develop future new functions are actually quite humble.

We need to look at what is the kid doing when using devices. If kid is doing development of app or coding some hi tech software, they are using their time to produce something useful, versus if kid is just playing online games, watching videos or swiping TT as users, are there something more useful for them to spend time on?

Let's use another eg. weapons, if boys eventually will get to use weapons in NS, should we just let our kids access them in pre sch or pri sch? My point is, there are so many things in the world for children to learn first, how to socialise w other kids, empathise when someone got hurt or in pain etc, then they can learn how people had always suffer in war, and eventually how to protect our own nation and learn to use weapons.

Just like learning handwriting should come first before typing.

My kid got A for robotics and enjoys coding as a sch subject in sec 1 and 2, tho not a genius, like many of her mates. No losing out at all.

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Sat, 07 Oct 2023 16:40:00 GMT

fy2000jp2 — Sat, 07 Oct 2023 16:40:00 GMT

00skyblue00\" post_id=\"2120149\" time=\"1696562144\" user_id=\"143605:

How to have non pld option? If sch requires zoom lectures/classes as part of learning, HBL, SLS, videos etc.

Here's the discussion with the school:

1 step before the NO PLD option - use white listing approach instead of the default black-listing approach. White-listed apps/urls are the school portal, SLS, ms onenote/office/teams/outlook, and materials hosted on school portal and SLS), everything else disallowed (including google.com, youtube.com and zoom). Teachers/tutors are informed.

This white-listing approach is new, something MOE is trying out.

next step - NO PLD option - the PLD fully disabled during class hours. In class note-taking and exercises will be done by hand. However, PLD is enabled during non-class-hours, subject to white-listing, for completion of school work and HBL. Teachers/ tutors will ensure the kid is not using his PLD while in class.

I've been struggling with updating the ipads Mobile Guardian settings, so the white-listing approach is best. Keep everything (mostly) in a sandbox, but more work for the teachers to ensure all materials are inside the sandbox.

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Fri, 06 Oct 2023 11:58:05 GMT

00skyblue00 — Fri, 06 Oct 2023 11:58:05 GMT

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2120202\" time=\"1696593005\" user_id=\"28674:

Only my personal experience - my kids were controlled strictly (see my earlier post). But they did get sufficient exposure even with the limited time we allowed them. I agree that if they have no access to devices at all till their teens, they could lose out at that point, but they can still probably catch up quite fast once given access.

Yes i agree, see my reply above

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Fri, 06 Oct 2023 11:55:54 GMT

00skyblue00 — Fri, 06 Oct 2023 11:55:54 GMT

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2120189\" time=\"1696587792\" user_id=\"3:

Good point. No, there's no evidence. But let's say a kid has been banned from all devices from toddler till Sec 4. Will he not be deemed \"sua ter\" then, by his peers who might be swaddling the latest gadgets? And if the school requires him to use a notebook or tablet from Sec 1, then how?

Think of our own introduction to computers. So many times I've been hooked, so many games I've been stuck with, ... so many times I've had to delete my games before an examination only to beg to get them back from my friends after the examination

We will eventually be replaced by machines. Think about it. Only machines can withstand the millennials required by space travels, bypassing the messy contraptions required to keep a human alive. I have accepted this fact a long time ago, with the comforting thought that, at least, we are the \"parents\" of the technology

I am not sure if the current gen go by such practice anymore, \"calling\" others names for not knowing A to Z functions. Our schools and I am sure our society teach our children to be inclusive. If my kid was asked how to, she will share what she knows and she also gladly ask her friends in sch when she need.

Tbh, my kid never use much computer or phone in pre pri and pri days. She didn't own her own phone then. She use a shared phone when need to if she attends some events and need us to pick her up. We never install apps in phone. Only use for communication. Now in sec, i dont think she is penalised or felt left out. She is a certain book genre fanatic, but she doesnt go ard calling ppl names just because they dont know details A to Z of what she is craze at. Being the first to know how to use latest function XX is no big deal, nowadays can just google or ask. Those who can first develop future new functions are actually quite humble.

We need to look at what is the kid doing when using devices. If kid is doing development of app or coding some hi tech software, they are using their time to produce something useful, versus if kid is just playing online games, watching videos or swiping TT as users, are there something more useful for them to spend time on?

Let's use another eg. weapons, if boys eventually will get to use weapons in NS, should we just let our kids access them in pre sch or pri sch? My point is, there are so many things in the world for children to learn first, how to socialise w other kids, empathise when someone got hurt or in pain etc, then they can learn how people had always suffer in war, and eventually how to protect our own nation and learn to use weapons.

Just like learning handwriting should come first before typing.

My kid got A for robotics and enjoys coding as a sch subject in sec 1 and 2, tho not a genius, like many of her mates. No losing out at all.

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Fri, 06 Oct 2023 11:50:05 GMT

sharonkhoo — Fri, 06 Oct 2023 11:50:05 GMT

00skyblue00\" post_id=\"2120154\" time=\"1696563631\" user_id=\"143605:

To the part on losing out in keeping up with tech if kids are not given devices early, is there evidence?...

Only my personal experience - my kids were controlled strictly (see my earlier post). But they did get sufficient exposure even with the limited time we allowed them. I agree that if they have no access to devices at all till their teens, they could lose out at that point, but they can still probably catch up quite fast once given access.

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Fri, 06 Oct 2023 10:23:12 GMT

ChiefKiasu — Fri, 06 Oct 2023 10:23:12 GMT

00skyblue00\" post_id=\"2120154\" time=\"1696563631\" user_id=\"143605:

To the part on losing out in keeping up with tech if kids are not given devices early, is there evidence?
...

Good point. No, there's no evidence. But let's say a kid has been banned from all devices from toddler till Sec 4. Will he not be deemed \"sua ter\" then, by his peers who might be swaddling the latest gadgets? And if the school requires him to use a notebook or tablet from Sec 1, then how?

Think of our own introduction to computers. So many times I've been hooked, so many games I've been stuck with, ... so many times I've had to delete my games before an examination only to beg to get them back from my friends after the examination

We will eventually be replaced by machines. Think about it. Only machines can withstand the millennials required by space travels, bypassing the messy contraptions required to keep a human alive. I have accepted this fact a long time ago, with the comforting thought that, at least, we are the \"parents\" of the technology

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Fri, 06 Oct 2023 03:40:31 GMT

00skyblue00 — Fri, 06 Oct 2023 03:40:31 GMT

To the part on losing out in keeping up with tech if kids are not given devices early, is there evidence?

When we say kids are given devices, the issues are not the devices itself correct? The issues are the applications they have access or log in account to. Could we say that mainly the applications they spend most time on or addicted to are online games and social media platforms? What else?

In my view, technologies or advancements are just like chocolates. To the kids especially, the more the merrier. Dont really need to teach kids to like chocolate, they will like chocolates naturally. And it is true that moderation intake of chocolate has some benefits. But without early introduction to "chocolate", they will not lose out and will learn very quickly to like chocolates and will be still be savvy in this tech era eventually.

I doubt those kids engaging in heavy sports, music training etc will be addicted to devices. Are there enough non-studies activities to engage thr kids so that they will not turn to their digital addiction? Those who are over indulging in devices, are they very bored?

My kid is taking duolingo seriously, keeping up with her daily doses, learning Japanese and German. I will not mind if she got addicted to such applications but I doubt it is possible… Lol…

It is more impt they learn physical social skills now in sch than virtual social media. Kid sch requires phones to be kept away during sch hours. Better to have kids going to talk to their classmates and CCA friends face to face, than hide behind online chat.

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Fri, 06 Oct 2023 03:15:44 GMT

00skyblue00 — Fri, 06 Oct 2023 03:15:44 GMT

fy2000jp2\" post_id=\"2120103\" time=\"1696492612\" user_id=\"197677:

embargoed (confiscated) the kid's HP, and also the PLD... found out i am not the only parent in his sec1 class that is doing this. pained me, as this also stopped kid's habit for tangential research when he come across interesting items in his studies.

after a year of observation and counselling, realized that both hp and pld are a major distraction (in class and outside of class) for the kid. vaguely recall that the school allows parents to request for \"non-PLD\" option. will try to request for this to start next year.

in the meanwhile, i continue to monitor kid's official school email, for official email/notices from the teachers.

How to have non pld option? If sch requires zoom lectures/classes as part of learning, HBL, SLS, videos etc.

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Fri, 06 Oct 2023 02:37:11 GMT

SG_KP1 — Fri, 06 Oct 2023 02:37:11 GMT

I think it may actually be better to give the phone/device to a child when they are still in primary school. Parental oversight often falls off a cliff in secondary school (not saying this is the correct route for all kids but I think it is a frequent outcome), and kids start wanting to make their own decisions. The responsible ones will be responsible regardless, but I think for many there is a better chance of inoculating good habits while they are young (brainwash without much resistance). Of course, some of the young and responsible ones could fall off the horse in secondary school despite being a champion jockey in primary school (as it relates to responsible phone usage).

Regardless, in the grand scheme of things, S1 (especially the first half) is not the worst time in the world to learn some lessons the hard way…

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Fri, 06 Oct 2023 01:43:27 GMT

sharonkhoo — Fri, 06 Oct 2023 01:43:27 GMT

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2120113\" time=\"1696496696\" user_id=\"3:

I think we as parents are stuck between a rock and a hard place. If we introduce digital devices to them too early, they will get addicted very early too. If we don't give them the devices, we feel they may be more backward than others and miss out on the latest technologies. I wish schools would have a course called \"Managing your digital time\" where they learn proper use of the devices and those that use the devices properly at all times will score A*...

It's not all or nothing! Addiction doesn't happen overnight, and parents have the responsibility to manage exposure. It's not the child's responsibility when the child is young, and it's not really fair (in my opinion) to expect the child to take full responsibility when he is given a phone (unless he gets the phone at 18 yo!) I think the way we managed our kids' exposure was reasonable - they are now in their 20s, and they are not addicted. I know we had it easier as smartphones only appeared when they were in their early teens, and social media wasn't as wild as it is now. Still, I think the principles can still apply now, as long as parents are willing to be the \"bad guy\" initially, and gradually relax controls, until the child is able to take full responsibility. The main thing is to help children realise that privileges come with responsibility, that unlimited phone use has its downsides, and that parental controls are for their good. Then as they are given more freedom, they should have learnt how to impose controls for themselves, for their own good.

For us, the girls didn't get their own phones till Sec 4 and Sec 2 respectively; these days, we would give them a phone at Sec 1. Before that, we kept a \"shared phone\" which they were allowed to have when going out (for emergencies or to call us), but the messages that came at other times would be read by me - that kept the messages from friends to a bare minimum! Friends were told to use email or call the landline for casual matters, or to message me for urgent matters.

And while I know that it is a strong temptation to let a young child have a phone or gadget to entertain them for unlimited time whenever they want it, I feel it breeds a bad habit. A few minutes when a wait is unbearably long (for the age of the child) is understandable, but my observation is that parents and children have forgotten the \"old\" ways of passing time - talking, telling stories, books/toys/coloured pencils etc., playing 'I spy', observing things around them, etc. All of these are also better for the child's social skills, cognition, and parent-child bonding. And the child will start demanding the phone or gadget as of right all the time unless the parents are very clear that it is meant to be for short periods and exceptional occasions. There is a reason that there is an OFF button on every gadget! These limits should be imposed strictly ALL the time, especially at home, so the child is used to them and is less likely to kick up a fuss outside when the parents will be more embarrassed and flustered.

Before we gave our girls a smartphone, we laid down rules, and told them that we would impose penalties if they broke the rules. The rationale was that, as parents, we had the responsibility to see that they did not harm themselves by overuse. Some rules:
- phone to be switched off or silenced and placed in another room during homework time, and after bedtime (we convinced them that friends and teachers could easily wait an hour or two for a response; I would monitor the messages if they feared they would miss something truly urgent)
- phone use for casual purposes (social media, scrolling mindlessly) to be limited to 2 half-hour slots a day on weekdays, and 2 one-hour slots on weekends (gradually relaxed as they demonstrated responsibility)
- parents had the right to inspect the phone to see what they were doing
- phone password to be disclosed to parents
- no phone use during meals or family time
- no data package - they had to rely on free wifi in school, at home and elsewhere, and use sms if there was no wifi; and the phone bill came out of their pocket money (they finally purchased data packages only after A levels)

I was able to impose these rules (and similar rules about computer use) because I was a SAHM. It may be difficult for parents who are not at home as much, but there should be ways to impose SOME rules. These rules were relaxed gradually, so that by the age of 17 or so, we weren't interfering or setting limits any more. We set examples in phone use as well (something that parents should take note of!).

I hope this helps other parents.

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Thu, 05 Oct 2023 09:04:56 GMT

ChiefKiasu — Thu, 05 Oct 2023 09:04:56 GMT

I think we as parents are stuck between a rock and a hard place. If we introduce digital devices to them too early, they will get addicted very early too. If we don't give them the devices, we feel they may be more backward than others and miss out on the latest technologies. I wish schools would have a course called \"Managing your digital time\" where they learn proper use of the devices and those that use the devices properly at all times will score A*...

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Thu, 05 Oct 2023 07:56:52 GMT

fy2000jp2 — Thu, 05 Oct 2023 07:56:52 GMT

embargoed (confiscated) the kid’s HP, and also the PLD… found out i am not the only parent in his sec1 class that is doing this. pained me, as this also stopped kid’s habit for tangential research when he come across interesting items in his studies.

after a year of observation and counselling, realized that both hp and pld are a major distraction (in class and outside of class) for the kid. vaguely recall that the school allows parents to request for "non-PLD" option. will try to request for this to start next year.

in the meanwhile, i continue to monitor kid’s official school email, for official email/notices from the teachers.

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Thu, 05 Oct 2023 07:46:55 GMT

ChiefKiasu — Thu, 05 Oct 2023 07:46:55 GMT

onghuixin\" post_id=\"2120093\" time=\"1696485338\" user_id=\"202714:

I see. Good point but I think it's too late preventing him from getting addicted since before, both hubby and I lend our phone to him. At first, he just watch cartoons on yt for about 30mins then becoming longer. Now he wants to watch cartoons as soon as he wake up and hubby stopped giving his phone to him bcoz sometimes he deletes file etc. He use my phone now for the past few weeks for about 2-3 hrs daily and start crying if i dont give my phone

Sigh... he is already addicted. Maybe try distracting him with books or comics, etc. Not good for him to be always playing on the phone.

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Thu, 05 Oct 2023 05:55:38 GMT

onghuixin — Thu, 05 Oct 2023 05:55:38 GMT

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2119905\" time=\"1696290888\" user_id=\"3:

I personally feel kids less than 12 years of age have little reason to own their own phones. It would be a toy to them, and they will be spending more time on games than on the main purpose of the phone, which is to call you. No point getting them addicted so early in their lives, and there's plenty of chance for that in future

I see. Good point but I think it's too late preventing him from getting addicted since before, both hubby and I lend our phone to him. At first, he just watch cartoons on yt for about 30mins then becoming longer. Now he wants to watch cartoons as soon as he wake up and hubby stopped giving his phone to him bcoz sometimes he deletes file etc. He use my phone now for the past few weeks for about 2-3 hrs daily and start crying if i dont give my phone

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Tue, 03 Oct 2023 11:39:28 GMT

sharonkhoo — Tue, 03 Oct 2023 11:39:28 GMT

onghuixin\" post_id=\"2119883\" time=\"1696248812\" user_id=\"202714:

Is it good idea to buy my 6 y/o his own phone?

Only if he needs it, and you set lots of rules first. And be prepared to enforce them! If he doesn't need it, then don't. Most parents regret giving phones to their kids - especially if it's before sec school, and rules are not set and enforced.

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Mon, 02 Oct 2023 23:54:48 GMT

ChiefKiasu — Mon, 02 Oct 2023 23:54:48 GMT

onghuixin\" post_id=\"2119883\" time=\"1696248812\" user_id=\"202714:

Is it good idea to buy my 6 y/o his own phone?

I personally feel kids less than 12 years of age have little reason to own their own phones. It would be a toy to them, and they will be spending more time on games than on the main purpose of the phone, which is to call you. No point getting them addicted so early in their lives, and there's plenty of chance for that in future

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Mon, 02 Oct 2023 12:13:32 GMT

onghuixin — Mon, 02 Oct 2023 12:13:32 GMT

Is it good idea to buy my 6 y/o his own phone?

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Mon, 02 Oct 2023 12:08:57 GMT

fy2000jp2 — Mon, 02 Oct 2023 12:08:57 GMT

hardwork becomes undone when kid enters secondary school… Much longer hours in school, unavoidable mobile phones, mandatory PLDs, and using the PLD for recreational gaming during class

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Tue, 26 Sep 2023 09:30:57 GMT

jiajia14 — Tue, 26 Sep 2023 09:30:57 GMT

JTerra308\" post_id=\"2119409\" time=\"1695358317\" user_id=\"202930:

Control computer time with:

Clear rules
Parental control software
Schedules
Education
Leading by example
Reward system
Open communication
Monitoring usage

Can suggest app for monitoring usage and recently used app/watched vids?

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Wed, 02 Aug 2023 11:45:56 GMT

WilsDav — Wed, 02 Aug 2023 11:45:56 GMT

You just have to be strict with your child. What I do is, I allocate then 30 minutes of time under my guidance. Nowadays most of the parents ruining their child behaviour with their own hand. Harsh but true.

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Sun, 02 Jul 2023 15:45:22 GMT

LucaJones — Sun, 02 Jul 2023 15:45:22 GMT

I control my child’s computer time by setting limits, using parental control software, and encouraging a healthy balance with other activities. Open communication and trust are key.

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Tue, 09 May 2023 17:10:07 GMT

oregene — Tue, 09 May 2023 17:10:07 GMT

I believe open communication is very important. I remembered as a child, my mum would keep my keyboard / mouse so that I cannot play. But I either find out where she hide them, or save up and buy a new mouse/keyboard. And I will not play when she is at home, but play whenever she is out.

So I feel it is important to have that communication so that your child will now hide his playtime from you.

Reply to How do you control your child's Computer time on Sun, 02 Apr 2023 12:13:08 GMT

mssunshine0210 — Sun, 02 Apr 2023 12:13:08 GMT

I think iphone already has a simple function to lock access to an application when it hit the screen time limit! As for computer, if they finish their work i will just let them have their fun. But will adjust the bluelight settings to help protect their eyesight.