<![CDATA[When filial piety get outsourced]]>

zbear:


So, if children don't want to give, can the parents ask without any discount in good returns?
Errrr...just some arbitrary % for simple explanation sake:

if dont want to give - go into minus %.

if dont want to give and parents ask once and then give willingly - discount 25%.

if dont want to give and parents have to ask repeatedly and then give willingly - discount above 50%.

if dont want to give and parents ask and then give unwillingly - discount above 75% and may go into minus.

if forget to give and parents ask once and then straight away give - discount 10%.

if forget to give and parents have to ask repeatedly, discount above 50% and can go into minus.

if dont know that actually have to give (ignorant coz parents educated No No No) and never give - minus or neutral %.

心意 and willingness are always very important (供养父母原本理所当然）. If parents have to 'beg' for such money, % can go into minus.

PS:
If parents are 'bad' type (abusive, gambler, etc), above discount can be 'lighten' if child chooses not to give. But if give, returns can be multiplied.

Above 'penalty' will be multiplied if child leads a good life with own family but leaving his / her parents living a poor / difficult life.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/75937/when-filial-piety-get-outsourcedRSS for NodeTue, 05 May 2026 09:45:57 GMTFri, 04 Jul 2014 02:13:31 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Fri, 04 Jul 2014 00:38:54 GMT]]>

jetsetter:
Nebbermind:

The worst are those who chose to take the whole family and squeeze with the IL or parents.

They themselves collecting a few thousand in rental of their apt and then give only token sum to parents for the lodging, meals, children caregiver, laundry services.... :salute:

Dun forget there are affordable parents who collect rent from secondary property and still demand 4 - digit hor. my mil is a very smart landlady;)

I have seen both types. 😓 Plus the category that only give money to the set of grandparents who have assets to pass down to them. The set of grandparents without money/assets - 看都不看。

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323982https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323982Fri, 04 Jul 2014 00:38:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Fri, 04 Jul 2014 00:37:08 GMT]]>

jetsetter:


Dun forget there are affordable parents who collect rent from secondary property and still demand 4 - digit hor. my mil is a very smart landlady;)
Hmmm... :idea: I guess if caught in such situation, then think of the positive....like she pass down good genes to your hub...and today can afford to give 4-fig allowance!!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323979https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323979Fri, 04 Jul 2014 00:37:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Fri, 04 Jul 2014 00:20:05 GMT]]>

Nebbermind:
The worst are those who chose to take the whole family and squeeze with the IL or parents.

They themselves collecting a few thousand in rental of their apt and then give only token sum to parents for the lodging, meals, children caregiver, laundry services.... :salute:
Dun forget there are affordable parents who collect rent from secondary property and still demand 4 - digit hor. my mil is a very smart landlady;)

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323965https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323965Fri, 04 Jul 2014 00:20:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Fri, 04 Jul 2014 00:09:09 GMT]]>The worst are those who chose to take the whole family and squeeze with the IL or parents.

They themselves collecting a few thousand in rental of their apt and then give only token sum to parents for the lodging, meals, children caregiver, laundry services.... :salute:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323950https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323950Fri, 04 Jul 2014 00:09:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 23:24:52 GMT]]>

ngl2010:
Jetsetter, can Giro your MIL lah. Then never late. We do that so no need to remember every month.

yah that was when we were overseas. Later we set recurring fund transfer!!

i agree with ngl2010; it's impt for old folks to see the deposit in black and white. Otherwise, they might get mixed up with other amts from other children and forget your contribution! LOL...


Anyway, I don't like demanding and calculative recipients. Be gracious. Appreciate whatever amt your kids give u next time...don't blatantly 讨债.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323922https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323922Thu, 03 Jul 2014 23:24:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 23:21:26 GMT]]>I personally feel that GIRO is much better - safer n 'guaranteed'.


Shall tell my kids to do it next time.

😂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323919https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323919Thu, 03 Jul 2014 23:21:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 23:17:10 GMT]]>I do quick cheque deposit last time when we used to live far apart. One end of Singapore to another end. 10 years ago internet banking less features or I’m not aware i can set up standing instructions

After moving nearer (5 mins walk), i give cash since i get to see my parents a lot more often

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323916https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323916Thu, 03 Jul 2014 23:17:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 23:04:14 GMT]]>

zbear:
ngl2010:

Jetsetter, can Giro your MIL lah. Then never late. We do that so no need to remember every month.



But GIRO cannot see the $$$ n I think old folks like to see n feel the $$$???

😉

They can see in the passbook. We explained to them that this way we won't forget to transfer and we won't be late. Last time we have to keep track every month. So leceh. They are also happy because they don't have to queue in the bank to put the money into their account. They don't like to keep large sum of money at home. They are very happy with this Giro method. Win win. 😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323911https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323911Thu, 03 Jul 2014 23:04:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 22:57:29 GMT]]>

insider:
Any good thing if one does with a purpose of getting returns will have such returns discounted (from giver's point of view).


Objective is to advise parents (receivers) that have to take children's money instead of maybe keep saying No No No like my mum (the 客气）。The more a parent says No, the more their kids' money qi will be affected. Message is for more for parents to read and accept gifts / money that are given to them by their kids in the future. Parents should not 好心做坏事......

So, if children don't want to give, can the parents ask without any discount in good returns?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323908https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323908Thu, 03 Jul 2014 22:57:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 22:55:27 GMT]]>

ngl2010:
Jetsetter, can Giro your MIL lah. Then never late. We do that so no need to remember every month.


But GIRO cannot see the $$$ n I think old folks like to see n feel the $$$???

😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323906https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323906Thu, 03 Jul 2014 22:55:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 15:13:41 GMT]]>My two nieces just began work.


One making about $2500 and one making about $4,000.

The one making $2500 giving my one sis $300/month. My this sis is fiercely independent; if without my earlier ‘brainwashing’ of the importance of accepting money from children when given, she would have been saying the No No No to her child like my mum.

My the other niece didn’t know how much to give to her mum and sought my opinion. I told her to start with 10% and she dutifully does so monthly.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323798https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323798Thu, 03 Jul 2014 15:13:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 15:04:11 GMT]]>Jetsetter, can Giro your MIL lah. Then never late. We do that so no need to remember every month.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323786https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323786Thu, 03 Jul 2014 15:04:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 14:58:59 GMT]]>

insider:
ammonite:

To be honest, I feel the entire 出发点of 给越多，赚越多is wrong. If parents need support, one should make sacrifices to make it happen regardless of outcome or whether the money will ever come back at all in this life or next life.


If one is giving just in the hope of increasing money qi, honestly I cannot respect that. My dad taught me that 要给要有心给，静静给，no need to remind anyone that you are giving.

Any good thing if one does with a purpose of getting returns will have such returns discounted (from giver's point of view).

Objective is to advise parents (receivers) that have to take children's money instead of maybe keep saying No No No like my mum (the 客气）。The more a parent says No, the more their kids' money qi will be affected. Message is for more for parents to read and accept gifts / money that are given to them by their kids in the future. Parents should not 好心做坏事......

My mum is fake 客气. LOL! When she says no need to give so much/no need to give, it still means must give. I am happy to give her allowance but I know she likes to compare what we give her with her siblings. I wished she doesn't do that.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323777https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323777Thu, 03 Jul 2014 14:58:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 14:45:27 GMT]]>

ammonite:
To be honest, I feel the entire 出发点of 给越多，赚越多is wrong. If parents need support, one should make sacrifices to make it happen regardless of outcome or whether the money will ever come back at all in this life or next life.


If one is giving just in the hope of increasing money qi, honestly I cannot respect that. My dad taught me that 要给要有心给，静静给，no need to remind anyone that you are giving.
:goodpost:
ammonite: my parents too.要给要有心给，静静给, 不要老挂在嘴边。
my MIL is the opp. Keeps harping on costs of living high, which kid gave how much more, hounding us why this mth's remittance late? We're giving her 4-digit every mth; no need to cook for us and no need to take care of kid cos in cc.

I feel that as parents, we mustn't keep thinking of 讨债。If kids have the heart, they will automatically give.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323769https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323769Thu, 03 Jul 2014 14:45:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 14:35:23 GMT]]>

ammonite:
To be honest, I feel the entire 出发点of 给越多，赚越多is wrong. If parents need support, one should make sacrifices to make it happen regardless of outcome or whether the money will ever come back at all in this life or next life.


If one is giving just in the hope of increasing money qi, honestly I cannot respect that. My dad taught me that 要给要有心给，静静给，no need to remind anyone that you are giving.
Any good thing if one does with a purpose of getting returns will have such returns discounted (from giver's point of view).

Objective is to advise parents (receivers) that have to take children's money instead of maybe keep saying No No No like my mum (the 客气）。The more a parent says No, the more their kids' money qi will be affected. Message is for more for parents to read and accept gifts / money that are given to them by their kids in the future. Parents should not 好心做坏事......

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323763https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323763Thu, 03 Jul 2014 14:35:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 14:22:21 GMT]]>To be honest, I feel the entire 出发点of 给越多，赚越多is wrong. If parents need support, one should make sacrifices to make it happen regardless of outcome or whether the money will ever come back at all in this life or next life.


If one is giving just in the hope of increasing money qi, honestly I cannot respect that. My dad taught me that 要给要有心给，静静给，no need to remind anyone that you are giving.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323744https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323744Thu, 03 Jul 2014 14:22:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 14:17:37 GMT]]>

insider:
jetsetter:



Do you think by the time kid earns over $10k, he might hv a property and has married already and needs more $ to support his kids? what if kid kenna taxed by me until 脸青青 and tells me doesn't want to marry a wife anymore and just wants to stay with me forever?! Or support me until doesn't want to procreate? :yikes:

I think one just needs to give within one's means. Can take them out for meals and overseas hols occasionally, visit them regularly with grandkids - that's comforting enough. Don't want to burden my kid next time with a Tax Chart.

Kids should spend within their means before they can start to think 'to give within their means'...

Food for thoughts:

李嘉诚：三种钱花得越多赚得越多

第二种钱：“孝天的钱一定要花”。

　　也就是孝顺爸爸妈妈的钱一定要给。也许有人会认为当自己连吃穿都不够用，而且还负债累累时，根本没有办法定期给父母亲零用钱；也有人会说家里又不缺钱，爸妈都说自己够用，不用拿钱回家呀！

　　不管你的父母经济情况如何，孝顺爸爸妈妈的钱是一定要定时定量给予的。再怎么穷，一个月也要挤出钱来孝敬父母！想想看，你的父母会不会因为负债、缺钱就不抚养你？他们再怎么穷，还是把你抚养长大，不是吗？所以现在你回报他们也是应该的，怎么可以有钱才给父母，没钱就不奉养呢？

其实，你或许不知道，父母就是我们的天时，我们与父母的互动可以累积天时的能量，一个人如果没有天时，这一辈子做任何事都无法顺利。所以，换个角度来看，孝顺父母的钱不只是为了父母好，同时也是为了自己啊！

http://www.studentboss.com/html/news/20 ... 7176_2.htm

:thankyou:
Always a pleasure to read your insights:P

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323739https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323739Thu, 03 Jul 2014 14:17:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 13:43:12 GMT]]>

jetsetter:


Do you think by the time kid earns over $10k, he might hv a property and has married already and needs more $ to support his kids? what if kid kenna taxed by me until 脸青青 and tells me doesn't want to marry a wife anymore and just wants to stay with me forever?! Or support me until doesn't want to procreate? :yikes:

I think one just needs to give within one's means. Can take them out for meals and overseas hols occasionally, visit them regularly with grandkids - that's comforting enough. Don't want to burden my kid next time with a Tax Chart.
Kids should spend within their means before they can start to think 'to give within their means'...

Food for thoughts:

李嘉诚：三种钱花得越多赚得越多

第二种钱：“孝天的钱一定要花”。

　　也就是孝顺爸爸妈妈的钱一定要给。也许有人会认为当自己连吃穿都不够用，而且还负债累累时，根本没有办法定期给父母亲零用钱；也有人会说家里又不缺钱，爸妈都说自己够用，不用拿钱回家呀！

　　不管你的父母经济情况如何，孝顺爸爸妈妈的钱是一定要定时定量给予的。再怎么穷，一个月也要挤出钱来孝敬父母！想想看，你的父母会不会因为负债、缺钱就不抚养你？他们再怎么穷，还是把你抚养长大，不是吗？所以现在你回报他们也是应该的，怎么可以有钱才给父母，没钱就不奉养呢？

其实，你或许不知道，父母就是我们的天时，我们与父母的互动可以累积天时的能量，一个人如果没有天时，这一辈子做任何事都无法顺利。所以，换个角度来看，孝顺父母的钱不只是为了父母好，同时也是为了自己啊！

http://www.studentboss.com/html/news/20 ... 7176_2.htm

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323699https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323699Thu, 03 Jul 2014 13:43:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 13:03:16 GMT]]>

insider:
The moment a kid starts work, get them to pay parents (collectively and regardless of whether need or dont need money yet) with below suggested 'instalment % of salary':


Instalment \tSalary\tAmount
5% \t$1,000.00\t$50.00
7.5% \t$2,000.00\t$150.00
10%\t $3,000.00\t$300.00
10%\t $4,000.00\t$400.00
10%\t $5,000.00\t$500.00
12.5% \t$6,000.00\t$750.00
12.5%\t $7,000.00\t$875.00
12.5%\t $8,000.00\t$1,000.00
12.5%\t $9,000.00\t$1,125.00
12.5% \t$10,000.00\t$1,250.00
Do you think by the time kid earns over $10k, he might hv a property and has married already and needs more $ to support his kids? what if kid kenna taxed by me until 脸青青 and tells me doesn't want to marry a wife anymore and just wants to stay with me forever?! Or support me until doesn't want to procreate? :yikes:

I think one just needs to give within one's means. Can take them out for meals and overseas hols occasionally, visit them regularly with grandkids - that's comforting enough. Don't want to burden my kid next time with a Tax Chart.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323648https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323648Thu, 03 Jul 2014 13:03:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 12:55:17 GMT]]>Personally, 40% of my income goes into allowance for my parents as well as paying for their apartment & utilities (yes can potentially view as my long term investment). This is excluding holidays. The kids are well aware of that and was thinking that maybe the place where my parents are staying can potentially be will to one of them one day. When I think about that, I suddenly felt that we are born to support the generation before and after us???

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323642https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323642Thu, 03 Jul 2014 12:55:17 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 12:34:42 GMT]]>I am thinking of starting my kid on how much X% of the kid's pocket money must goes to us, once reach primary 1. :rotflmao:

KSP:
insider:

[quote=\"pinky\"]My cousins and me agreed on 3 things:
1. Can live near our kids but not together
2. Do up a will stating clearly how our S$ is to be distributed AFTER we have passed on
3. Sign up for AMD

Any other arrangement that we should also consider?

The moment a kid starts work, get them to pay parents (collectively and regardless of whether need or dont need money yet) with below suggested 'instalment % of salary':

Instalment \tSalary\tAmount
5% \t$1,000.00\t$50.00
7.5% \t$2,000.00\t$150.00
10%\t $3,000.00\t$300.00
10%\t $4,000.00\t$400.00
10%\t $5,000.00\t$500.00
12.5% \t$6,000.00\t$750.00
12.5%\t $7,000.00\t$875.00
12.5%\t $8,000.00\t$1,000.00
12.5%\t $9,000.00\t$1,125.00
12.5% \t$10,000.00\t$1,250.00


looks like income tax chart........ but i feel is a good benchmark and i will be very happy if my kid can do the same to me next time (10 years time)[/quote]

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323620https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323620Thu, 03 Jul 2014 12:34:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 10:58:56 GMT]]>

Nebbermind:
pirate:



Before one gets one's kids to practise this, one must first practise this for the kids to see. 😆

These days, some young working adults still get pocket money from parents...cost what they earn is less than the pocket money they got before working!!! Also a lot of 'I buy, you use' parents (car, condo etc etc).
😆

Every month I'll give my mum some allowance thru my son, so as to 'condition' him.

Yup, cunning is my middle name. :laugh: :rotflmao:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323519https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323519Thu, 03 Jul 2014 10:58:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to When filial piety get outsourced on Thu, 03 Jul 2014 09:38:14 GMT]]>

zbear:
Misty Rain:


But giving allowance is only one form of filial piety. I believe there are many other ways to show that we care for them, such as spending time with them, bringing them out with the grandchildren etc...

I agree totally.

Both sets of grandparents are financially independent and appreciate time together more. My goal is to be like them and I hope my children will also visit me regularly in future. Of course must also do my part now by building up savings, upgrading, and staying fit and healthy so that I can play with my grandchildren in future!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323471https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1323471Thu, 03 Jul 2014 09:38:14 GMT