<![CDATA[How to accept a person as he is?]]>Learn to understand and see where the person is coming from before judging. Don’t judge w/o knowing.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/81223/how-to-accept-a-person-as-he-isRSS for NodeMon, 04 May 2026 06:57:20 GMTMon, 15 Apr 2019 07:53:08 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Wed, 27 Mar 2019 02:54:45 GMT]]>

siling\" post_id=\"1764291\" time=\"1490719549\" user_id=\"143444:

FantasyLandDreams:

Close one eye and focus on the good traits of the other person and everyone will be happier. If we constantly use a magnifying glass to look at the shortcomings of others, life will become very miserable. 和气生财。
😄

Close one eye!! Agreed.

Especially for couples in marriage.

before marriage, open 2 eyes.
after marriage, close 1 eye....always remember the good traits of our spouse. nobody is perfect anyway.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1903954https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1903954Wed, 27 Mar 2019 02:54:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Wed, 27 Mar 2019 02:26:41 GMT]]>When someone doesn’t react the way you want him or her to, it’s not because of you. Rather, it’s because said person’s beliefs don’t align with yours. An individual’s beliefs and standards cultivate who he or she is.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1903950https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1903950Wed, 27 Mar 2019 02:26:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Tue, 28 Mar 2017 16:45:49 GMT]]>

FantasyLandDreams:
Close one eye and focus on the good traits of the other person and everyone will be happier. If we constantly use a magnifying glass to look at the shortcomings of others, life will become very miserable. 和气生财。

😄
Close one eye!! Agreed.

Especially for couples in marriage.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1764291https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1764291Tue, 28 Mar 2017 16:45:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Mon, 21 Sep 2015 05:43:13 GMT]]>that sounds like a good way to split the chores and activities. my family works in a similar way as well, me and DH split our chores according to our preferences, especially when it comes to handling kids and family matters.


goodydaddy:
hahahaha.. i can relate to this..

my wife is smarter than me (she is a teacher for dyslexic kids ).. so she took care of the kids learning schedule and teaching them.. me on the other hand, take care of the logistics of the house.. cleaning up etc.. we work well together as we know wat each other likes and strengths.. and i am in charge of reading to the kids bedtime stories.. so when we lie down on the bed, as i was reading, wifey would have gone to lalaland.. maybe my voice to soothing... hahahhahaha

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1581140https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1581140Mon, 21 Sep 2015 05:43:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Thu, 30 Jul 2015 17:44:14 GMT]]>hahahaha… i can relate to this…


my wife is smarter than me (she is a teacher for dyslexic kids )… so she took care of the kids learning schedule and teaching them… me on the other hand, take care of the logistics of the house… cleaning up etc… we work well together as we know wat each other likes and strengths… and i am in charge of reading to the kids bedtime stories… so when we lie down on the bed, as i was reading, wifey would have gone to lalaland… maybe my voice to soothing… hahahhahaha

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1550970https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1550970Thu, 30 Jul 2015 17:44:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Wed, 10 Jun 2015 05:19:52 GMT]]>Hubby has to go along if I need to buy math assessment titles. He knows the type of word problems daughter is facing for exams. He is ok to go along because there are IT stuff at popular. Popular is a place where I need time bcos I don’t want to buy the wrong thing and waste time going back to exchange.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1521899https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1521899Wed, 10 Jun 2015 05:19:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Wed, 10 Jun 2015 04:53:12 GMT]]>mummyv, ikid…thanks for the great posts.


I too am in the same boat. A working mum trying to handle part of the coaching and overseeing for 2 kids. Used to feel that it was very unfair that I was taking on so much when DH had time for weekend naps and leisure activities.However immense love for the kids and their results from my efforts has spurred me on. I have now accepted that I do everything for my kids. …in sickness or in health. It is now the norm.

Over the years, I have tried to make sense of why I still feel upset with DH and have realised that actually the main problem is his lack of respect and empathy for me and what I do for the family.

When our DH respects and empathises with us, he will automatically provide support and be engaged with the family.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1521890https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1521890Wed, 10 Jun 2015 04:53:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Tue, 09 Jun 2015 02:55:12 GMT]]>

sleepy:
Yahlor so lazy to go out. Not even for GSS. Nowadays only when my friend jio me for movies/shopping then I will leave the house. No fun rubbing sweat with the crowd.


Usually go popular on a detour like on way home after running errands, then drop by popular for a while. Or when stuck waiting for dd2 at library then I sneak out for a little while. Pocket of time to slowly browse at popular.

Cannot jio dh to go with me to popular He will look like he is doing me a favour :rotflmao:
The trick is to get yourself all prepared to go out early in the morning. Don't get started on doing other things like reading KSP 😉 once started, you will give yourself excuses like can go out some other time 😆 weather is hot, even few minutes walk also I take bus or drive..go wet market, I preferred to be very early morning when the sky is still dark..I feel like the roads owned by my grandfather 😆

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1520982https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1520982Tue, 09 Jun 2015 02:55:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Tue, 09 Jun 2015 02:30:55 GMT]]>Yahlor so lazy to go out. Not even for GSS. Nowadays only when my friend jio me for movies/shopping then I will leave the house. No fun rubbing sweat with the crowd.


Usually go popular on a detour like on way home after running errands, then drop by popular for a while. Or when stuck waiting for dd2 at library then I sneak out for a little while. Pocket of time to slowly browse at popular.

Cannot jio dh to go with me to popular He will look like he is doing me a favour :rotflmao:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1520962https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1520962Tue, 09 Jun 2015 02:30:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Tue, 09 Jun 2015 01:57:03 GMT]]>

sleepy:
Janet, very good that your dh is involved!


My dh looked bored in popular. Looked at his phone instead. If I take too long to browse (>15 mins), he will get impatient. I feel pressurized, like I have flip the pages faster lol
You can try out on your own when need to go Popular..lazy to go out? Me too sometimes but once out I feel as free as a bird without the kids tagging along 😆

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1520945https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1520945Tue, 09 Jun 2015 01:57:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Mon, 08 Jun 2015 23:56:46 GMT]]>Janet, very good that your dh is involved!


My dh looked bored in popular. Looked at his phone instead. If I take too long to browse (>15 mins), he will get impatient. I feel pressurized, like I have flip the pages faster lol

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1520880https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1520880Mon, 08 Jun 2015 23:56:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Mon, 08 Jun 2015 16:11:06 GMT]]>

KancheongMum123:
Strange how it seems that it's mostly the mother who teaches the kids n not the hubby. And same for my case too. I tutor my son personally. He likes to hire coaches to teach.

I plan daughter's schedule...hubby coaches kids for math and sciences. Will consult hubby on daughter's weak areas so that I can slot in time to revise them. Pull hubby along when I need to get certain titles from popular.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1520808https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1520808Mon, 08 Jun 2015 16:11:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Mon, 08 Jun 2015 15:51:22 GMT]]>Close one eye and focus on the good traits of the other person and everyone will be happier. If we constantly use a magnifying glass to look at the shortcomings of others, life will become very miserable. 和气生财。

😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1520798https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1520798Mon, 08 Jun 2015 15:51:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Mon, 15 Dec 2014 10:10:55 GMT]]>That should be the way, if you are more capable to handle the job, continue to do it. Not only will your child be more confident, he will be happier too. You will be less stressed as to how much your hubby is contributing. If your hubby can’t contribute his time, I’m sure he’s able to contribute $ towards his child’s enrichment courses or family’s outing or household expenses.

Stay happy, when you see your child’s improvement, no $$$ can buy that happiness and you will feel so accomplished. Whatever your child’s accomplishment will be your rewards and that’s the gift of motherhood. Wish you all the best, be positive.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1431859https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1431859Mon, 15 Dec 2014 10:10:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Mon, 15 Dec 2014 10:00:01 GMT]]>Thanks all for advice and encouragement. Very much appreciated!


The reason I am adamant about teaching my son is that he is basically a slow learner. The feedback from his child care teachers is his poor focus skill and he takes a longer time to grasp concepts. Sending him to enrichment may be one way but I feel more assured that he knows his work if I teach him myself. So no matter how tired I am, I will make it a point to rush home to teach him. I will explain to him and even think of different ways to make him understand.

What irks me is DH’s "can’t be bothered" attitude. I am still learning to accept it and I also have stopped telling him that I put in more effort in coaching my boy. I tell myself it is more important that with my coaching, my boy is able to catch up in his school work.

I also fully understand that this is only the beginning as Ds is only K2. There will be a point that I do not know the school work myself and from there I will engage a tutor or send him for more enrichment (he only has Lcentral class).

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1431856https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1431856Mon, 15 Dec 2014 10:00:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Sun, 14 Dec 2014 12:41:27 GMT]]>

sleepy:
xueyan:



All these while when DH teach, he showed the least interest. He will lie on the bed to teach. Or teach a mere 15 minutes and said \"He can read\" and stopped.

That's how my dh coaches too. After assigning some pages to dd, he would be playing games, meddling with his handphone or reading newspapers. Told dd to try herself, only ask him when stuck. Isn't this as good as not coaching?
I outsource everything. Really only ask him when stuck.

But your kids are smart...and they are definitely better at the current math solving methods and science answering technique than most parents...coaching them with what we knew/used may just confuse them.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1431429https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1431429Sun, 14 Dec 2014 12:41:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Sun, 14 Dec 2014 02:10:01 GMT]]>

Ikid:
If your main concern is for the good of your child, just do it with your heart. Don't compare how much your hubby is contributing in coaching your child, otherwise, pay and get a tutor to coach. In order for your child to excel, he needs to grow up in a happy family too.


:goodpost:


Very wise advice.

I single handedly guide my kids in their Primary education n DH is never involved.

I do it out of unconditional love for my family - DH n kids.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1431277https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1431277Sun, 14 Dec 2014 02:10:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Sat, 13 Dec 2014 12:37:30 GMT]]>If your main concern is for the good of your child, just do it with your heart. Don’t compare how much your hubby is contributing in coaching your child, otherwise, pay and get a tutor to coach. In order for your child to excel, he needs to grow up in a happy family too.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1431172https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1431172Sat, 13 Dec 2014 12:37:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Sat, 13 Dec 2014 04:02:41 GMT]]>I cannot teach Maths so I assigned this task to my hubby. He gladly takes over because he has been bragging how good his Maths is to us 😉


During coaching time, I left the 2 alone but will take a peek to see how it goes. The Pa Pa without fail still playing with his phone games while son is doing the practices. However, once son finished the papers, Pa Pa really go thru the questions one by one with him and with much patience.
Hubby is someone whom can teach patiently without screaming his head off like me. He is more level headed.

With his coaching for SA2, son scored 99/100. I am thankful to him and hence from now onwards, he is the official Maths tutor 🙂

Men is different from us. They really need us to tell them \"hey, look here I need help\" \"pls coach our child\". If I choose to continue to coach son and screaming my head off its not going to help all of us. So, I sought for hubby's help. If I don't tell him, I think he is still thinking I am able to coach all subjects without any help from him.

I hope you can have a talk with your hubby and sort things out 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1431049https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1431049Sat, 13 Dec 2014 04:02:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Sat, 13 Dec 2014 01:23:01 GMT]]>

xueyan:


All these while when DH teach, he showed the least interest. He will lie on the bed to teach. Or teach a mere 15 minutes and said \"He can read\" and stopped.
That's how my dh coaches too. After assigning some pages to dd, he would be playing games, meddling with his handphone or reading newspapers. Told dd to try herself, only ask him when stuck. Isn't this as good as not coaching?
I outsource everything. Really only ask him when stuck.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1430980https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1430980Sat, 13 Dec 2014 01:23:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Sat, 13 Dec 2014 01:15:31 GMT]]>when son was in primary school, hubby insisted coaching math and science. but his method of coaching math is ‘over’…he just didn’t have the know-how. son failed miserably and science was always hovering around borderline. he finally gave up when son flunked math for ca1 and sa1. outsourced math tuition.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1430978https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1430978Sat, 13 Dec 2014 01:15:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Fri, 12 Dec 2014 14:45:09 GMT]]>Xueyan,


I was in a similar situation when my dd was younger. I would be quite annoyed at dh `lax' way of teaching Chinese to dd :slapshead: . After much fuming and nagging, he didn't change and my dd Chinese results suffered . I took over but it was too much to handle so I decided to sub out Chinese to a Tutor. Yes, he paid the fees.

Also, since I was doing most of the `mental stuff', he has to do the `no brainer' things like paying assessment books, ferrying dd for activities (school and non-school) etc. He actually prefers it this way and doesn't complain much.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1430893https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1430893Fri, 12 Dec 2014 14:45:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to accept a person as he is? on Fri, 12 Dec 2014 13:02:47 GMT]]>Xueyan

It is not easy to coach your kid after work as all of you are tired after a day's work.
Since you and your hubby can't compromise on the method use for coaching and you are too stress out by the load, why not contract out to the professional - tutors / trs at enrichment ctrs.
Your kid wil be p1 next yr. Is he going to be taken care by student care after school or.is there a caregiver at home to take care of him? You could check with the student care ctr whether the trs will help to ensure that student complete their homework or whether they give out any assessments worksheets to coach the students. Or you can get the tr at student care to get your kid to do the assessment books and mark them for you. That way, you did not worry that you have no time to coach him during wkdays.
For p1, most of the time will be spend in school and they will have homework to complete, so try not load your kid too much on wkdays during sch term since he will be trying to adapt to primary school and homework that they need to complete on time.
You can coach him during weekends when you are not working, so less hectic for you and your kid is less tired and less homework commitments.

Hope this helps. 😄
Relax, your child is embarking on new learning experience next year, prepare him mentally by talking to him abt the new primay school - queue up for food during recess, make new friends, new trs, packing his own sch bag. This is as important as his academic learning.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1430838https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1430838Fri, 12 Dec 2014 13:02:47 GMT