Why failure is good for our child?

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Tue, 01 Aug 2017 15:28:18 GMT

teenmom — Tue, 01 Aug 2017 15:28:18 GMT

I have one-year old so I don’t have much to share about the topic from a parent’s standpoint. What I do know is that my parents wanted me to take risks and be responsible for the consequences. I think they wanted me to somehow fail at something so I could learn from it.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Mon, 31 Jul 2017 03:53:03 GMT

Reflecjoy — Mon, 31 Jul 2017 03:53:03 GMT

Teach your child that failure is a part of life, it’s only a temporary condition, and can lead you to success.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Thu, 27 Jul 2017 09:48:59 GMT

buzzkoony — Thu, 27 Jul 2017 09:48:59 GMT

very good insightful read.. thank you, zac's mum.

zac's mum:
Something to share. This seemed to be the most relevant thread to post it in...https://www.mother.ly/child/raising-overcomers-how-to-teach-your-kids-to-do-hard-things?utm_source=gottman

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Mon, 24 Jul 2017 23:59:17 GMT

zac's mum — Mon, 24 Jul 2017 23:59:17 GMT

Something to share. This seemed to be the most relevant thread to post it in...https://www.mother.ly/child/raising-overcomers-how-to-teach-your-kids-to-do-hard-things?utm_source=gottman

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Sat, 22 Apr 2017 14:48:13 GMT

TopTutorSG — Sat, 22 Apr 2017 14:48:13 GMT

From a young age, I let my kids define what are their own standards of failure and success. When they succeed according to their own terms, we celebrate together as a family. When they fail, we also mourn the failures together. Failure and success are a part of life, and it helps that we are able to share the good and bad times together.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Fri, 24 Jun 2016 02:40:37 GMT

jetsetter — Fri, 24 Jun 2016 02:40:37 GMT

Ace Tutors:
Walk anywhere in Japan or take the bus or train, and you may see children headed purposefully to specific destinations. There is no adult in charge, guiding them on their journey. These extremely young children – some as young as six years old – don’t push, run or yell boisterously. They don’t even loiter. Instead, they make their way purposefully through crowds and turn styles, across platforms and sections of big cities, and they confidently navigate public transportation routes to get to school and home again. This is a daily journey for Japanese children, much the way your child might go to the mailbox and back alone.

Yes, you're right about that...I saw many as young as 6-7yo taking subway home on their own. Thanks to the very helpful community as a whole.

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=28807&p=1349976&hilit=tokyo+school+subway+home#p1349976

[quote]The Culture of Independence

Japanese parents encourage self-reliance, independence, and problem-solving skills, all of which can be learned by running simple errands and taking one’s self to school. Japanese children learn early that they may call on any adult for assistance should they need help. It helps that Japan has an extraordinarily low crime rate, due in part, to group socialization in Japanese culture. Compare this practice to the Western ideal requiring that children be supervised and chaperoned until their teens or beyond, creating a culture of dependence. Most parents want to raise independent children who can think for themselves, but letting go can be difficult.[/quote]
Not all western...maybe in USA...But in Germany, it isn't the case...

http://i63.tinypic.com/29ux3si.png\">

And PM shared this:

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/05/travel/berlin-family-holidays.html?_r=1

[quote]Teaching Early Independence

The trust and cooperation thriving in Japanese society may not exist where you live, but you can begin teaching independence in your home by encouraging your child to begin taking on these minimal simple tasks that will increase confidence on the way to independence.

Very Young Kids

A toddler can begin to learn basic survival skills, such as feeding himself, using the toilet instead of a diaper, picking up toys and putting them away. By early childhood, your daughter can make her own bed (it won’t be perfect), assist with simple chores and select outfits to wear. She can turn off the lights when leaving a room, and she should also know her full name, address and phone number.

The Primary Grades and Beyond

As your child enters the primary grades, bed-making is a daily priority. She can learn how to fix a simple snack or meal – even if it’s a sandwich; follow basic food preparation rules, such as washing fruit or cutting it with a dull knife; and she can help to put away purchases such as groceries or toiletries. Your daughter or son can wash dishes and take care of all of his or her personal grooming needs, including bathing, brushing teeth, combing hair and selecting coordinated outfits to wear. Elementary aged children who have learned to read, write and compute numbers can take on more independent tasks, such as taking phone messages, making purchasing and calculating change, taking out the trash and folding their own clothes.[/quote]No wonder the 7-yo Yamato Tanooka can survive for 10 days in the bear-infested woods in Hokkaido, after being abandoned by his draconian parents for being disobedient. Survival instincts kicked in?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-36441875

That the boy's father made him get out of the car \"to discipline him\", but couldn't say so at first because he was afraid of what \"people would think\" has touched many a nerve.

The word he used was \"sekentei\" - literally, how one is seen by society. The sense of societal shame he conveyed, on top of his concern for his boy, was perhaps a touch too \"Japanese\" for many here.

Hardly anybody voiced support for the father, there was simply no debate about that. The parents should not have let the boy out of their sight, was the consensus.

Naoki Ogi, a TV personality and pedagogy expert, better known as \"Ogi-mama\", condemned the parents outright, saying this was neglect and abuse. He also noted and criticised how many parents in Japan tend to see their children as their personal possessions.

[quote]In Summary

Teaching responsibility to your children helps them gain the kind of lifelong skills they need for success. The children who learn independence early are more sure of themselves and more confident as they grow up.[/quote]Strike a balance. You don't want your parenting to go awfully wrong!

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Mon, 11 Apr 2016 04:05:52 GMT

momkiasu — Mon, 11 Apr 2016 04:05:52 GMT

Some people only learn from failure. And your child might just be one of them. To have everything going successfully in their life, they do not understand how is it like to fail. To fail, is to learn. And being their parents, we should encourage them and help them through their failure. That’s how we help them grow.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Tue, 15 Mar 2016 10:58:07 GMT

breleow — Tue, 15 Mar 2016 10:58:07 GMT

i have learnt to hold and control my emotions first, and ask my kid how he feels abt it. then he will start talking n telling me various excuses. only after 10 mins, he will start to tell me his true feelings n fears. and i work on them from there. strangely, the anger inside me disappears, and i’m more concerned than angry.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Thu, 30 Jul 2015 08:12:04 GMT

yolomomo — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 08:12:04 GMT

I think it’s how we respond when they actually do fail? I want to nurture but you know…sometimes the kiasu side of me is thinking how can…I feel ang moh are more open and relax about it.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Thu, 30 Jul 2015 07:38:02 GMT

bluegross — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 07:38:02 GMT

I think it’s not the error but the experience come from errors that good for a child.So we should courage them to face the error and deal with it not to make error. Besides,when they failed to do something, we should help them to find the resource about the failure and accompany with them to go through the suffering. That’s why failure is good for our child.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Mon, 18 May 2015 06:59:39 GMT

momkiasu — Mon, 18 May 2015 06:59:39 GMT

Failure is good for everyone as it is just a step closer to success. Make sure to teach your child to look at where he slipped and not where he fell. Failure helps your child to realize his/her mistakes and learn from them. Ultimately, you need to teach them to not repeat the same mistake.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Sat, 21 Mar 2015 15:32:48 GMT

JY2011 — Sat, 21 Mar 2015 15:32:48 GMT

I agree on this too… coz I do see my DD actually "adapts" herself when she is be with me, DH and teachers. She only asks mobile phone and tv access from DH as me nvm turn on these devices with her and no access of these devices in the school. So it really depends how u educate and teach the children.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Sat, 21 Mar 2015 02:44:54 GMT

zbear — Sat, 21 Mar 2015 02:44:54 GMT

Nebbermind:
Personally, i think it's the parents who can't take their kids' failures as well as their kids.

I totally agree with nebbermind.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Sat, 21 Mar 2015 00:40:42 GMT

Nebbermind — Sat, 21 Mar 2015 00:40:42 GMT

Personally, i think it’s the parents who can’t take their kids’ failures as well as their kids.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Fri, 20 Mar 2015 17:44:00 GMT

cse1217 — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 17:44:00 GMT

Hi JY2011,

Thanks for your compliment! You made my night! Haha!

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Thu, 19 Mar 2015 03:19:31 GMT

JY2011 — Thu, 19 Mar 2015 03:19:31 GMT

Hi, cse1217.

:goodpost:

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Wed, 18 Mar 2015 10:55:17 GMT

cse1217 — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 10:55:17 GMT

In life, we are bound to have areas which we will fail in because we are all not perfect.

As parents, we want to protect our child from not failing as much as we can hold their hands and nurture them in areas which we think will make them more successful.

How did we learn all these? That’s how we were brought up and how we see other people fail and try to avoid those pitfalls.

A few reasons why failure is good
1) Child will learn the consequences of cause and effect and remember by their mistakes better so as not to repeat it and even find out better ways to overcome their failures
2) Child will learn how to be pick themselves up and move on
3) Child will learn to be more independent

However all these are being assumed that the child has the ability to discern what is good and what is not good, what is right and what is not right.

These values are being inculcate in child when they are growing up and parents play a big part in educating them.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Fri, 13 Mar 2015 17:27:00 GMT

kiasu--carer — Fri, 13 Mar 2015 17:27:00 GMT

Failure is good. Depend on how child accept failure. Some cannot handle or learn from it.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Tue, 24 Feb 2015 05:19:52 GMT

KSP — Tue, 24 Feb 2015 05:19:52 GMT

Not only children make mistake. Adults also make mistake at work. The whole life is a learning journey.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Tue, 24 Feb 2015 05:15:38 GMT

phtthp — Tue, 24 Feb 2015 05:15:38 GMT

Wandi_flora:
Learning the lesson after the failure and dont make the same mistake is most important. Learn and move on.

what are some mistakes that parents would not mind letting a primary or Secondary school child, to go through ?

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Tue, 24 Feb 2015 02:45:23 GMT

zbear — Tue, 24 Feb 2015 02:45:23 GMT

Problem is a lot of people never learn from mistakes!!!

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Tue, 24 Feb 2015 01:42:18 GMT

Wandi_flora — Tue, 24 Feb 2015 01:42:18 GMT

Thanks for sharing! Learning the lesson after the failure and dont make the same mistake is most important. Learn and move on.

Reply to Why failure is good for our child? on Thu, 05 Feb 2015 08:34:38 GMT

breleow — Thu, 05 Feb 2015 08:34:38 GMT

Interesting! Thanks for sharing!