3Boys:

fishatwork:

sad to say, there are some parents who hope that their children will be very independent enough to take care of themselves and don't have to bother the parents so much. They would rather work over-time, go out with friends for drinks and leave the child in the grandparents/ maid's care and probably think that their responsibility is just to provide material needs to the child, but not spending enough time with them.

Different strokes for different folks. The concept of parents spending a lot of quality time with their children is not a universal one. For instance, in some cultures, children may be sent off to boarding school at very young ages. They don't necessarily turn out too badly......

sleepy:

Regardless of the issue, be it housing type, appearance, occupation, ...

Bottom line, it's all about self-esteem. No one can dent your self esteem or belittle your self worth if you don't allow it.

Of course, the challenge is how to teach that to a child who just started primary school. Parents must start building their children's self esteem from birth. Include that as top priority in P1 preparation

sleepy:

Regardless of the issue, be it housing type, appearance, occupation, ...

Bottom line, it's all about self-esteem. No one can dent your self esteem or belittle your self worth if you don't allow it.

Of course, the challenge is how to teach that to a child who just started primary school. Parents must start building their children's self esteem from birth. Include that as top priority in P1 preparation

mummy of 2:

insider:

My belief is how parents perceive about something will = to how kids perceive that something generally, many times even though unspoken.


If parents don't feel 'small' about living in an HDB, then generally kids will not feel small as well.

Kids have that kind of faith and confidence or inferior complex if their parents carry such in them, such to me is very true even the parents don't speak out to them but 'hide' them in their hearts (for example, parents themselves feel inferior about living in an HDB but verbally told kids 'don't compare. It's OK to live in one'. Kids' 6th sense can pierce through such lies...)

Totally agree, kids are very intuitive. How you behave will be the true measure of your beliefs, not your words.

sleepy:

Regardless of the issue, be it housing type, appearance, occupation, ...

Bottom line, it's all about self-esteem. No one can dent your self esteem or belittle your self worth if you don't allow it.

sleepy:

Of course, the challenge is how to teach that to a child who just started primary school. Parents must start building their children's self esteem from birth. Include that as top priority in P1 preparation

insider:

My belief is how parents perceive about something will = to how kids perceive that something generally, many times even though unspoken.

insider:

My belief is how parents perceive about something will = to how kids perceive that something generally, many times even though unspoken.


If parents don't feel 'small' about living in an HDB, then generally kids will not feel small as well.

Kids have that kind of faith and confidence or inferior complex if their parents carry such in them, such to me is very true even the parents don't speak out to them but 'hide' them in their hearts (for example, parents themselves feel inferior about living in an HDB but verbally told kids 'don't compare. It's OK to live in one'. Kids' 6th sense can pierce through such lies...)

insider:

My belief is how parents perceive about something will = to how kids perceive that something generally, many times even though unspoken.


If parents don't feel 'small' about living in an HDB, then generally kids will not feel small as well.

Kids have that kind of faith and confidence or inferior complex if their parents carry such in them, such to me is very true even the parents don't speak out to them but 'hide' them in their hearts (for example, parents themselves feel inferior about living in an HDB but verbally told kids 'don't compare. It's OK to live in one'. Kids' 6th sense can pierce through such lies...)

skunk:

while we must respect all professions, it is also true that some professions are more highly valued than others. To put it in another way, all professions add value to humanity, but some add more than others.

A doctor will add more value to society than a butcher. A butcher requires a lower level of skill and training than a doctor, thus more people have the ability to become a butcher than be a doctor, and through supply and demand, their average salaries reflect that.

Many doctors might be able to re-train to become a butcher, but not many butchers can re-train to become a doctor. Last time is cut up bodies, now is sew up bodies, quite different LOL kidding.

Butchers who eventually make alot of money, say, by establishing a monopolistic network or set up a chain of butcheries, are actually no longer butchers but business-owners. So it's incorrect to say that one has a very good chance of being materially very rich by being a butcher, but one has a much greater chance by being a doctor.

What are the chances of any hairdresser becoming the next David Gan? Or every football-playing kid become a Beckham? It's not to say we should squash aspirations, but they should be conveyed accurately to any child. If a child aspires to be a hairdresser, reality should be made known to them:

1) Hairdressers usually don't make much money and work very long hours, even weekends....are they willing to do so?

2)Hairdressers who run their own salons, are actually not hairdressers, but business owners.

3)They would have a better chance of having a materially better life if they aspire to be a doctor/lawyer etc, but keep hairdressing as a hobby...would they be willing to consider an alternative route?

All these said, not putting down hairdressing or butchery.

3Boys:

tankee:

true. But is it right to send them away to boarding school at very young age? unless it is due to circumstances unforseen, eg single-parent without family support, all children should grow up under the TLC of both their parents.

As I said, this is not a universal concept and children that grow up outside of it don't necessarily do too badly.

jedamum:

.....another vivid example of stereotyping of occupation came as a rude surprise when we attended a talk by my ds1's school - the speaker was talking about nurturing kids based on their inborn character 'colours'; what strike us as a rude comment is her statement of (something) like, '.....do you want your child to grow up to be just a hairdresser?\" what's wrong with being a hairdresser? she could have rephrase it to be 'do you want your child to grow up to be the best that she can?\" :roll: speaker from MOE-licensed vendor somemore.... :roll:

buds:

Yah. Only use the hair.

ks2me:

However, kids no matter what age they are, should be taught to respect all occupations as long as they earn a living in a decent way. 行行出状元, no matter what profession, if one knows how to do it well and extraordinarily, it can be cool... We should not let the kids stereotype the occupations if we want to encourage them to \"think out of the box\".

The first person who baked bread probably never think that there could be super bread chains like BreadTalk and Four Leaves today. The butcher(pig farmer) who now runs the multi-million Sheng Siong probably making his kids'(assuming he has kids) classmates heads turn today when yesterday they might think he/she was just a butcher's(pig farmer's) kid.

tankee:

true. But is it right to send them away to boarding school at very young age? unless it is due to circumstances unforseen, eg single-parent without family support, all children should grow up under the TLC of both their parents.

buds:

Yah. Only use the hair.

jedamum:

ks2me:

However, kids no matter what age they are, should be taught to respect all occupations as long as they earn a living in a decent way. 行行出状元, no matter what profession, if one knows how to do it well and extraordinarily, it can be cool... We should not let the kids stereotype the occupations if we want to encourage them to \"think out of the box\".

yes. just today ds1 watched Spongebob Squarepants when Squidward's (a character) rich cousin laughed at him for being a cashier; my boy asked me what's wrong with being a cashier; my husband explained that there is nothing wrong and that the cousin was being shallow and silly.

another vivid example of stereotyping of occupation came as a rude surprise when we attended a talk by my ds1's school - the speaker was talking about nurturing kids based on their inborn character 'colours'; what strike us as a rude comment is her statement of (something) like, '.....do you want your child to grow up to be just a hairdresser?\" what's wrong with being a hairdresser? she could have rephrase it to be 'do you want your child to grow up to be the best that she can?\" :roll: speaker from MOE-licensed vendor somemore.... :roll:

ks2me:

However, kids no matter what age they are, should be taught to respect all occupations as long as they earn a living in a decent way. 行行出状元, no matter what profession, if one knows how to do it well and extraordinarily, it can be cool... We should not let the kids stereotype the occupations if we want to encourage them to \"think out of the box\".

ooptimizer:

Usually if the kids are very young, simple occupations may look cool, but it will not look so cool when the kids are in secondary school or JC age.

cluelessmom:

recently my dd was nominated to represent the school for a \"certain grand event\"... before she had to go for an interview wif the higher authorities to see if she wld be selected, she was given a form to fill in stating her address and her parents occapation...this was given before her selection process and I think it's a little telling on the purpose of the form.........