Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Sat, 01 Aug 2015 17:26:03 GMT

Kidsprodigy — Sat, 01 Aug 2015 17:26:03 GMT

So far my son teachers are generally fierce towards the children and nice towards us. They have to be fierce and stern towards the children so that they will be scared of the teachers during classes.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Sat, 01 Aug 2015 11:27:52 GMT

faithfuldad123 — Sat, 01 Aug 2015 11:27:52 GMT

Is this fair?

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Sat, 01 Aug 2015 11:27:34 GMT

faithfuldad123 — Sat, 01 Aug 2015 11:27:34 GMT

Just one last thing before I leave:

Does anyone have a copy of the student’s rights in singapore? I mean, I just want to see if my son is treated fairly. i do admit he is scolded harshly the most in class. When the teacher jokes with the other children ( Dont worry he will scold them sometimes too) he will speak to my child as though my son owed him a life.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Sat, 01 Aug 2015 11:24:43 GMT

faithfuldad123 — Sat, 01 Aug 2015 11:24:43 GMT

Hey guys! I am very happy to see that people like gabby, alng, janet n zbear have used up time contributing to this post. I will be going on a buisness trip to korea for 3 months ( Don't worry, my wife will still teach my son hw). I will not be around temporarily. Please continue to contribute and I hope we can hit 20 pages!! :thankyou:

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 03:21:44 GMT

SpartanMum — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 03:21:44 GMT

This thread brings into the spotlight some of the realities of school life today.

Teachers are facing an increasingly stressful work life. However, I daresay this is no different from any other profession today. And just like any other profession, teachers do have a responsibility to act professionally. The use of vulgar language, destroying the property of others and bullying are definitely not acceptable in any profession.

The sad truth is, many are getting away with it. No doubt some of you will have such colleagues who still working in your company, some are even getting promoted year on year.

I always wonder why these people are not brought to task for their unreasonable, irresponsible behaviour. Especially when it comes to teachers, it appears that parents have a real concern that their child will be targeted, even marked down if they complain about a teacher. I choose to look at it differently, if I don’t bring up serious issues with teachers, I am being as irresponsible as the teacher, as a lot of students are going to suffer.

Yes, it is very important to ask yourself if you are being an oversensitive parent. And yes, we should cut the teachers some slack…cos they are human beings too and vulnerable to stress. Definitely, no need to make a big issue of minor/isolated incidents.

But honestly, a few of these teachers have serious discipline issues which need to be dealt with by the school management. If nobody does anything about it, not one but many kids will suffer.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 03:10:43 GMT

janet88 — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 03:10:43 GMT

Gabby:
Yah, if it's those once off incidents, I will overlook too. The kids have to fight some of their own battles.

son did nag about certain teachers doing funny things in class...i hardly take note. with my boy, i have hands off quite a bit since he went to sec 1. it's been rather peaceful all these years in secondary school. teachers treat students like young adults. many times, i told son to settle issues on his own for eg project mates who refuse to cooperate.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 03:06:51 GMT

Gabby — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 03:06:51 GMT

Yah, if it’s those once off incidents, I will overlook too. The kids have to fight some of their own battles.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 02:59:05 GMT

zbear — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 02:59:05 GMT

Both my kids will take remarks n punishments in their stride if it’s one off thingy. They have a high threshold of tolerance.

They will only complain to me if they are repeatedly targeted or if the teacher gets out of hand. I will only step in when I see they are very stressed by the teachers’ unreasonable demands.

I would much prefer my kids to learn interpersonal skills the hard way instead of parent interference. After all when they enter the working society, they will definitely meet even more nasty superiors.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 02:51:50 GMT

Gabby — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 02:51:50 GMT

Maybe some parents fear that they may be labelled as difficult parents and their children will be ostracised. But if the teacher is unreasonable and harsh, it’s better for us to interfere early before things get worse. At least the teacher is aware we are parents who keep track of our kid’s day to day.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 01:41:22 GMT

MyPillow — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 01:41:22 GMT

janet88:
kids see psychiatrists, so do teachers. parents do not have it easier either.

facing 40+ is not an easy thing...but it is so unfair to the child to have to put up with teachers' harshness in front of the whole class. the child has ego too. if the teacher gets told off in front of the other colleagues, how would he/she feel? shitty right?

some teachers don't use their brains when it comes to discipline.

agree.
Blood boils abt insensitive educators /adults.
upp pri kids are STILL KIDs ( they are only 10 to 11+ , like my ds, he is not even 12 , although taking psle in oct ) how could a teacher
bear grudges n pick on them.
Why the kid \"retaliate \" to teachers, adults must reflect how they talk n did they respect the child at the same time, this child is sensitive too, hormones changing period with all the exam and growth stress ( the cells are fighting inside their lil bodies too to find identity)

{unless all teachers complain abt the child, then it may be a different /special learning kid case to tackle}

I will discuss with the teacher amicably to try to understand the issues,
encourage my own child at home, so to pump up his self worth n value.
we can strongly stand by to brave him for the coming exam.

After PSLE, gather back & sort out your thoughts with your child, if you feel that teacher is not professional, go ahead and feedback to MOEand ask for a good reply. 以和为贵 now strategy game first

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 01:31:11 GMT

janet88 — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 01:31:11 GMT

kids see psychiatrists, so do teachers. parents do not have it easier either.

facing 40+ is not an easy thing…but it is so unfair to the child to have to put up with teachers’ harshness in front of the whole class. the child has ego too. if the teacher gets told off in front of the other colleagues, how would he/she feel? shitty right?

some teachers don’t use their brains when it comes to discipline.

I wonder if anything can be done to improve such unreasonable behaviour without penalizing the poor child, who is at the mercy of the teacher. GE is approaching right?

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 01:22:28 GMT

alng — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 01:22:28 GMT

janet88:
from now to psle, it's about 2 months...should be doing past year exam papers in school. I did keep my son at home several times a week during his psle year. no reason going to school to face teachers who demoralized him instead.

there are unreasonable parents, there are unreasonable teachers.
it's really hard...but being harsh or saying mean stuff to the kids is the last thing teachers should be doing.

I totally agree. We know some kids are insensitive and can say inappropriate things...so must teachers also behave like kids too?

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 01:17:06 GMT

janet88 — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 01:17:06 GMT

from now to psle, it’s about 2 months…should be doing past year exam papers in school. I did keep my son at home several times a week during his psle year. no reason going to school to face teachers who demoralized him instead.

there are unreasonable parents, there are unreasonable teachers.
it’s really hard…but being harsh or saying mean stuff to the kids is the last thing teachers should be doing.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 01:01:02 GMT

alng — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 01:01:02 GMT

faithfuldad123:
Thanks so much! I decide to bear with it and get rid of the teacher after psle.

Oh... your son is doing PSLE. As a LAST resort, I will pull my child out of school now to revise at home so that he is not verbally abused by the teacher. It is only about 2 months to PSLE and most schools would have completed the syllabus and doing papers after papers now. Such papers can be done at home too. I know MOE and schools do not encourage this but I have heard of some parents pulling their PSLE children out of school weeks before PSLE so that their kids are not too stressed.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 00:55:53 GMT

alng — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 00:55:53 GMT

faithfuldad123:
Guys.... I have another problem and I am totally fuming.

So this morning the teacher( the one i complained abt) had some free time. Thus he looked for any homework to go through. There was another piece but it was due on friday. So he asked,\" Has everyone done it?\" The class said yes but my son did not. So the teacher (who was kind of picky on my son :stompfeet: ) looked at his empty desk and said,\" where is your homework?\" My son replied,\" Oh, i didnt do yet.\" (That was totally reasonable cause it was due tommorrow! :snooze: ) Then the teacher replied angrily,\" Okay lor. Prelim also dont do lor. PSLE Also leave blank lor. If you dont even have the bloody attitude to do your work then dont come to class!\" Then, he actually TEARED the worksheet my son referred to for corrections. And I feel very unfair for my son! I mean, he was scolded for something that was not wrong? Should I bear with it like Janet88's case or take action? I can no longer stand this teacher.

Do you still have the torn worksheet? I will bring the torn worksheet to see the teacher and ask the teacher what my son has done to make him so angry that he has to tear the worksheet.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 00:47:18 GMT

nerov — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 00:47:18 GMT

I look at it from a longer-term perspective. How we (the parents) react to difficult situations will influence how our kids behave in the future.

Do we want to let our kids learn that people with authorities, e.g teachers, are in the position to hurt them verbally or in the other ways and that they are powerless to do anything, for fear of offending the other party?

Of course, a balance must be struck, in that parents should be reasonable and not be jumping in too readily to "complain" or "feedback" about every trivial displeasure. Besides, the communication can be done diplomatically and tactfully without "offending" the other party.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Fri, 31 Jul 2015 00:13:12 GMT

janet88 — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 00:13:12 GMT

having a tactless teacher who uses harsh words really affects the child badly. our kids spend more time in school than at home. if teachers are insensitive, it really hurts the children’s ego. no matter how stressed teachers are, they should be considerate of their students’ feelings. facing 40 kids is not easy, but that doesn’t entitle teachers to wrongly accuse the child or use words like ‘stupid, bloody hell’.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Thu, 30 Jul 2015 23:54:08 GMT

Gabby — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 23:54:08 GMT

Some teachers seemed to be unaware that their words can make or break a child. How do you think our kids will feel when teachers use words like,"bloody, stupid, idiot" on them?

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Thu, 30 Jul 2015 23:49:42 GMT

Gabby — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 23:49:42 GMT

Janet, I can only say your DD ' s teacher is so tactless n insensitive. There is no element of care in her words.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Thu, 30 Jul 2015 23:48:17 GMT

janet88 — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 23:48:17 GMT

slmkhoo:
faithfuldad123:
Thanks so much! I decide to bear with it and get rid of the teacher after psle.

I don't think you should wait so long. At least have a word with the teacher, that you know about the situation, and you and your child were under the impression that the work was not yet due. That might at least tone him down for the rest of the year. There may be negative repercussions on your child's confidence if the teacher continued in the vein.

it's hard to stomach this during the crucial year.
the deadline is not due but if the majority of the class has done it, would he assume that if they can get it done, why not this child?
on the other hand if faithfuldad doesn't do anything, the poor child will suffer for the rest of the year...this is not the time to affect the child's confidence.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Thu, 30 Jul 2015 23:47:05 GMT

Gabby — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 23:47:05 GMT

I think you have to speak to your son too and see whether this incident has affected him. And find out whether his classmates have teased or made snide remarks to him. Is your son coping well in class with this teacher?

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Thu, 30 Jul 2015 23:10:38 GMT

sharonkhoo — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 23:10:38 GMT

faithfuldad123:
Thanks so much! I decide to bear with it and get rid of the teacher after psle.

I don't think you should wait so long. At least have a word with the teacher, that you know about the situation, and you and your child were under the impression that the work was not yet due. That might at least tone him down for the rest of the year. There may be negative repercussions on your child's confidence if the teacher continued in the vein.

Reply to Unreasonable teachers and how to deal with them on Thu, 30 Jul 2015 23:00:21 GMT

janet88 — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 23:00:21 GMT

i will tolerate this time…wait till Monday’s report first.