How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you?

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Tue, 16 Feb 2010 11:02:33 GMT

autumnbronze — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 11:02:33 GMT

2ppaamm:
Lynn2:
Hello all

Happy Lunar New year...

My two encounter this cny.

Ahhh...my friend child is top in psle last year you know....wonder what is there to brag, your friend, not your child,even it may be your child...

Second one....aiya, my child is so used to overseas life(she is only twelve),she can travel from paris to....all my herself...she is not used to the education here so we put her in international school...etc...anyway, we intend to send her to overseas even she has a place in local school....

I keep my ear shut ....and just smile ...
:moneyflies:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Tue, 16 Feb 2010 06:06:04 GMT

2ppaamm — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 06:06:04 GMT

Lynn2:
Hello all

Happy Lunar New year...

My two encounter this cny.

Ahhh...my friend child is top in psle last year you know....wonder what is there to brag, your friend, not your child,even it may be your child...

Second one....aiya, my child is so used to overseas life(she is only twelve),she can travel from paris to....all my herself...she is not used to the education here so we put her in international school...etc...anyway, we intend to send her to overseas even she has a place in local school....

I keep my ear shut ....and just smile ...

:moneyflies:

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Tue, 16 Feb 2010 04:26:17 GMT

corneyAmber — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 04:26:17 GMT

autumnbronze:
Or maybe they have stumbled upon this thread

:lol: That is a good one...another good community service by KSP.

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Tue, 16 Feb 2010 04:09:22 GMT

autumnbronze — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 04:09:22 GMT

ks2me:
The ROAR must have been loud and effective!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Or maybe they have stumbled upon this thread

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Tue, 16 Feb 2010 02:59:44 GMT

corneyAmber — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 02:59:44 GMT

tankee:
hey ... me too. The aunt that likes to brag was not bragging this year too.

something to do with the tiger? :?

The ROAR must have been loud and effective!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Tue, 16 Feb 2010 02:56:46 GMT

markfch — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 02:56:46 GMT

My peeve during this CNY gathering is when S/BILs - who chose to remain childless - start to advise me on how to upbring my DS. Saying things like children are supposed to be seen and not heard

When you're outside looking in, it's always easy to give comments such as 'if I have my own child and he steps out of line an inch, I will immediately give him one tight slap'. But it's only when you're inside that you appreciate the practical difficulties of raising a child.

While my PILs and even own parents also gave advice sometimes, I can respect that they have been there, done that (though different era). But for people who have not been there, I just wish that they keep their comments to themselves.

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Tue, 16 Feb 2010 02:25:30 GMT

Lynn2 — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 02:25:30 GMT

Hello all

Happy Lunar New year…

My two encounter this cny.

Ahhh…my friend child is top in psle last year you know…wonder what is there to brag, your friend, not your child,even it may be your child…

Second one…aiya, my child is so used to overseas life(she is only twelve),she can travel from paris to…all my herself…she is not used to the education here so we put her in international school…etc…anyway, we intend to send her to overseas even she has a place in local school…

I keep my ear shut …and just smile …

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Tue, 16 Feb 2010 02:01:52 GMT

tankee — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 02:01:52 GMT

hey ... me too. The aunt that likes to brag was not bragging this year too.

something to do with the tiger? :?

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Mon, 15 Feb 2010 16:07:44 GMT

auntieM — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 16:07:44 GMT

Hi and I survived this CNY too !:celebrate:

Thanks to all for encouragement and good advice....
I was a happy smiling deaf bat.....
Happy CNY to all!

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:31:38 GMT

2ppaamm — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:31:38 GMT

Wah, this year is superb. Nobody bragged about anything. So, I had a good talk with one or two relatives. I like this, get updates without comparing. Hm... did they hear my ranting here...? :celebrate:

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Mon, 15 Feb 2010 07:42:25 GMT

Blobbi — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 07:42:25 GMT

Serafiel:
lol, my parents will brag.

eg \"when I was in school I always top in school one! Why you always 10+ in class, how to make it into HC or RJC?\"
or \"my daughter/son very smart, got government scholarship! and my daughter/son got 9A1s in o levels!\" will be uttered by my mom's colleagues.
I just ignore them. Whatever lah, you also not top scorer in singapore right.

Love your attitude! :celebrate:

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Mon, 15 Feb 2010 07:07:38 GMT

Serafiel — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 07:07:38 GMT

lol, my parents will brag.

eg "when I was in school I always top in school one! Why you always 10+ in class, how to make it into HC or RJC?"
or "my daughter/son very smart, got government scholarship! and my daughter/son got 9A1s in o levels!" will be uttered by my mom’s colleagues.
I just ignore them. Whatever lah, you also not top scorer in singapore right.

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Sun, 14 Feb 2010 02:04:52 GMT

2ppaamm — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 02:04:52 GMT

janet_lee88:
Hi Mummies,

I know we have our disappointments, but with CNY just round the corner, let's think ahead and be happy. We should try not to let anyone bring us down. Hopefully I don't get misunderstood again.

:celebrate:

no worries! Happy new year! Let's enjoy this holiday season and recharge ourselves!P

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Sat, 13 Feb 2010 09:57:34 GMT

janet88 — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 09:57:34 GMT

Hi Mummies,

I know we have our disappointments, but with CNY just round the corner, let's think ahead and be happy. We should try not to let anyone bring us down. Hopefully I don't get misunderstood again.

:celebrate:

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Fri, 12 Feb 2010 11:08:16 GMT

tutormum — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 11:08:16 GMT

AuntieM,

:hugs: Don't let this people affect you. After witnessing what has happened in my DH side of SIL, let me assure you that what goes around, comes around. I don't know whether I should say this, but as a Christian I've ren and ren all the nasty remarks from my SILs. I've never answer back and when my FIL and MIL (who are very nice people and not like them - I must say) were still alive, I kept telling myself that for their sake I must keep harmony in the family. Cannot hurt the old folks and make them sad. Now that they are gone, I avoid my SIL as much as possible and they also paiseh cos they know they can't anyhow talk like when the old was still around as nobody will tahan them if they go overboard. In fact, one SIL rebuked another for being nasty in her remarks just after FIL funeral so this SIL seems to understand why people put up with her nastiness. For me, I trust in my GOD who promised this - Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: \"It is mine to avenge; I will repay,\" says the Lord. - Romans 12 :19. Well, after more than 20 years, I can see the revenge promised.
1. They used to tell me that they are very pious and say that I'm not religious (I don't hold joss sticks and pai pai) so I don't expect the gods to protect or bless me. I told them that I'm a Christian and our religions are different so to each his own - I trust in my God, you trust in yours and I have no issues. Now. they are always talking about their worries about their children, family, business etc while I just seems to be happy to live each day as it comes. So, it's seems that my God has blessed me abundantly and my God is bigger than theirs. :lol:

2. My SIL makes sarcastic remarks about my DS build also (they take after their father who was very skinny when young but now has ballooned). Worse, she even remarked that my DS are not well fed at home and only get to eat good food in her house. She was trying to show off her wealth while putting me down. Anyway, having good food in her house is cos of some special occasions when the family has to offer prayers like my FIL and MIL death anniversary and DH has to contribute money. We don't eat for free hor. :roll: Now, my DS1 is more muscular than her DS and the sarcastic remarks take a 180 turn to \"wa, your DS eat good food and grow so muscular ah. Good life hor\". So AuntieM, whether small or big build, these people sure has a way to get at you. If they want to be mean, they'll be no matter what. We must show them that whatever they say doesn't affect us cos their aim is to upset us so even if we are upset inside, we must not show it. Tahan and more tahan.

3. My SIL is a spendthrift cos her DH is running the family business. My DH didn't work for them cos they pay peanuts. I used to struggle financially but due to prudent savings, I'm able to live comfortably. My SIL used to show off her purchases - health tonics that costs hundreds of dollars for example. Now, her DH business suffers one setback after another and has been entertaining thoughts of closing down but worried about getting a job. She complains that she tries not to see a doctor to save on medical fees.

4. When I first married, my SIL has only 1 precious son and act as if she's the only one who has sons. She doesn't reprimand her children and doesn't like anyone to tick them off. She used to tell my DH when he tried to correct her DS1 to bear your own sons and correct them as you like but don't touch mine. When I have DS1, I taught him manners such as greeting the elders. She was very mad when my MIL remarked that my DS were well brought up. She started to teach her children to greet elders so as not to lose out. :roll: So, AuntieM, bring up you DS to be a gentleman and show your FIL that your DS is the finest grandson he ever has.

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Fri, 12 Feb 2010 00:33:06 GMT

2ppaamm — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 00:33:06 GMT

Emelyn:
auntieM:

My ILs didn't need another grandson. My FIL told me so. They would rather we be childless so my DH business can be pass on to BIL.
walau.... this is the worst that I have heard.

auntieM....you are really very strong to be able to tahan such words....

Yep, aiyah, one ear in one ear out lah. Make them regret lor.... I'm trying to do this everyday. Work hard and strive for your kids.

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Fri, 12 Feb 2010 00:19:39 GMT

Emelyn — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 00:19:39 GMT

auntieM:

My ILs didn't need another grandson. My FIL told me so. They would rather we be childless so my DH business can be pass on to BIL.

walau.... this is the worst that I have heard.

auntieM....you are really very strong to be able to tahan such words....

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Thu, 11 Feb 2010 22:10:12 GMT

Blobbi — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 22:10:12 GMT

auntieM:

My ILs didn't need another grandson. My FIL told me so.

Gasp. That's so cruel. I would have broken down and just lost it. MY MIL was so nasty after I popped, I went into a state of (near?) post natal blues. That statement would have driven me over completely. You're very strong. We have to do it for our own families.

I don't feel angry or dislike now. Just pity. I'm really quite untouchable cos I can ignore very well. Things have gotten better too. But the funny thing is, I can still remember every word and gesture that went on during the period very vividly. Remarkable.

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:48:09 GMT

auntieM — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:48:09 GMT

Thanks autumnbronze

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:30:37 GMT

autumnbronze — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:30:37 GMT

auntieM:
My child was premie and weigh just over a kg at birth, he managed to grow up fine except for being smaller build and on the skinny side. For the last 6 years I have to repeat myself to almost, if not everyone that I have been feeding him and the doctor says he is doing fine. Then there are the cruel relatives who kept reminding me that my kid looked much smaller than their kid/ grandkid. What to do but smile it off? So maybe I should look at it from the other side and think they meant well by repeatedly 'reminding' me and DH how small our kid is, they are really concerned.

My ILs didn't need another grandson. My FIL told me so. They would rather we be childless so my DH business can be pass on to BIL.I am just glad to pick up a few tips from all about how to handle these arrogant people that never stop appearing to ruin my day.
I'm sure given a choice everyone would love to have nice and understanding
family and friends whom you look forward to meeting. Unfortunately,not everyone has that kind of luck.

Wah AuntieM, you REALLY tahan alot of 'verbal assault', judging from your other posts.

Don't let it niggle at you k .....

:ugogirl: :celebrate:

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:26:56 GMT

auntieM — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:26:56 GMT

My child was premie and weigh just over a kg at birth, he managed to grow up fine except for being smaller build and on the skinny side. For the last 6 years I have to repeat myself to almost, if not everyone that I have been feeding him and the doctor says he is doing fine. Then there are the cruel relatives who kept reminding me that my kid looked much smaller than their kid/ grandkid. What to do but smile it off? So maybe I should look at it from the other side and think they meant well by repeatedly ‘reminding’ me and DH how small our kid is, they are really concerned.

My ILs didn’t need another grandson. My FIL told me so. They would rather we be childless so my DH business can be pass on to BIL.
I am just glad to pick up a few tips from all about how to handle these arrogant people that never stop appearing to ruin my day.
I’m sure given a choice everyone would love to have nice and understanding
family and friends whom you look forward to meeting. Unfortunately,not everyone has that kind of luck.

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Thu, 11 Feb 2010 14:16:28 GMT

2ppaamm — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 14:16:28 GMT

tutormum:

2ppaamm, I think your SIL and MIL more mean than mine or mine are more ignorant that they don't know there's such thing as back door or something. They only know how to compare PSLE results :lol: Actually, mine don't have any children in GEP so nobody is qualified to make so chiam/mean comments lah. Heng ah. If not, I have another set of problem. :lol:

Actually, they are all just ignorant lor... just like a frog looking up a well. The sky is so small to them...

Better not talk so loudly... maybe some people think of me this way as well. :lol:

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Thu, 11 Feb 2010 13:56:45 GMT

2ppaamm — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 13:56:45 GMT

Got 3boys’ point. Who’s the how lian one?

(Her DD playing the piano)
Relative1: My daughter is really good at the piano. Her daddy loves to hear her play. Teacher said she is really good.
Me: Yeah, playing very well. Is she planning to do exams?
Relative1: Ya la, taking Grade 5 next year. Her teacher say, have to stop for a while after that, because at this age, it is difficult for them to stretch their fingers required by Grade 6. So, she will wait until she is about 12 to do Grade 6. Your boy leh? He’s same age ma (just 2 days younger).
Me: O, he finished his Grade 8 last year.
Relative1: How lian! Go so fast is like burning the candle from both ends, he will die younger.
Me: Choy!
Relative1: My dd hor, is very good in her Chinese composition. She writes like this this that that (describes how she writes), and her tuition teacher taught her this this that that…
Me: I’m sure. Like you mah, you used to represent the school in Chinese compositions, remember?
Relative1: Your son’s academic can cope or not?
Me: Cannot cope as well as yours la. I believe in letting him cope with his work with no tuition. Happy to pass. (look away and watch TV - why engage?) I also don’t know how to describe my son’s composition in such details.

A few years later, my son went to RI. She could not believe it, and kept asking my mum how he got there.

Yes, just watching the tv makes us look like some strangers who is more how lian. But sometimes, people drag you into battles you don’t want to fight. They assume they are better, but when they realized they are not, they think you are trying to belittle them with your honest answers. What’s best? Shuddup.

I learnt that the hard way. Since people prefer that you not be better off than them, then let them think they are better lor. Won’t hurt feeding their imaginations.

Reply to How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you? on Thu, 11 Feb 2010 13:01:58 GMT

tutormum — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 13:01:58 GMT

At least you guys can still watch t.v. I can only watch at my own uncle's place where all my side of the family gather. As 3Boys has mentioned, they are the ones who are truly interested in how everyone is getting on since we last met last CNY. So there will be lots of catching up besides t.v. I always relish every minute of it cos we are staying in all parts of Singapore and I get to meet my cousins only once a year. For DH side, not only has to tahan/on guard those SIL mean remarks but also their singing. You see, whether you like it or not, they will have karaoke. Whether you like it or not, they'll just off your program and start singing. It's not that I'm not sporting, 3Boys if you think that I should just join in the fun. My SIL will hoard the mike and won't even have the courtesy to let others join in. Imagine how arrogant they are, thinking they are superstars and make you a reluctant audience. Now I learn to be smart, (after so many years, I'm real dumb if I still don't learn) instead of sitting there like a dummy while they eye-ball you with a \"look how well I can sing\" smirk on their faces, I read magazine like Readers' Digest and give them a \"look how learned I am\" expression. :frustrated:

Feel like bringing my laptop along and log in to KSP forum.
Anyway, :celebrate: :celebrate: :celebrate: to all and blessed New Year.