<![CDATA[Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning]]>I have followed this thread with interest. My son travels some 40 miles to his school in the morning and 40 miles back. He attends a school on the farther outskirts of Birmingham, where I believe the said study is based. I travel with him on the train for half the journey. On his IPhone he will watch BBC Iplayer, Sky, YouTube or play online games. He cannot self regulate his time or downloads. He uses up his monthly 5 gB data limit within a fortnight. At home he migrates from the PS4 to the IMac to the iPad to his iPhone. Heaven forbid if I should ask him tocomplete his homework and undertake supplementary revision. It has had an impact on school results. What can you do. If I deny him these devices, he will study grudgingly. This I fear is a new problem, worldwide. How do we fight tablets and smartphones. Answers on a postcard, please.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/85202/mobile-phones-are-detrimental-to-your-dds-and-dss-learningRSS for NodeSat, 18 Apr 2026 09:27:37 GMTSat, 23 Jan 2016 19:47:17 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Fri, 22 Jan 2016 01:35:02 GMT]]>

slmkhoo:
It is really hard when teens and parents do not see eye to eye on such matters. I don't have any solutions for parents of teens, but for those with younger children - take action earlier rather than later! Set rules and enforce them. Convince (ie brainwash) your kids to believe that unfettered use of devices is bad, teach them to enjoy activities (and sleep) which do not involve gadgets, and set a good example yourselves. As the parent of teen girls, I can vouch for the fact that prevention is much better than cure.

I totally concur with this. Sports and other non-academic activities are great because they can be more exciting than the mobile phone!!!! Start your kids hooked on their favourite non-IT hobby as early as possible. This involves effort on the part of parents but it definitely pays off.

I have never restricted mobile phone usage. So far, DS1 and 2 self-regulate. Between school work, sports, music and strict bed-time hours, they don't have much time for their mobile devices. Oh, we also have a no games policy for the mobile phones. Oh and I always remind them not to abuse my trust 😂

So far, so good...

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1632299https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1632299Fri, 22 Jan 2016 01:35:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Thu, 21 Jan 2016 23:53:34 GMT]]>Like all parents, I struggle with the same issue.


I give a prepaid card to DS who is P4. Limited data. I also set a timer to turn on wifi from 5-7pm. My DD is conscious about crossing the data limit on her phone so this kind of work.

Kids are like us, they need to socialise. Most hrs are spend in school, they need to stay ‘connected’ too and this social media thingy is not going to go away. Removing it completely s going to make them yearn for the forbidden fruit. Parents must also set good examples, eg no phones at meal time, look up when the kid is talking to you, time with our kids are more valuable than posting FB!

I’m working hard at it 😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1632201https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1632201Thu, 21 Jan 2016 23:53:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Fri, 15 Jan 2016 06:48:30 GMT]]>

vividlaurel:
Now my problem - while I can monitor phone access while I am at home, how do we do that when we are at work and they are back from school? Most days when I get home, both are using the phone to play games or watch videos on youtube. When I ask about hw, they say it's all done....

I guess this is where all those blocks and monitors come into play? This would be in conjunction with the \"brainwashing\", rules and what-have-you. Hopefully, they will build good habits and learn self-discipline over time. I didn't have that issue as I was a SAHM until my kids were in upper sec and the habits had been instilled. And if they seem to be spending too much time on their phones now, I will issue warnings and they will stop (maybe after 5-10 mins to finish whatever they are doing).

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1628982https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1628982Fri, 15 Jan 2016 06:48:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Fri, 15 Jan 2016 00:34:48 GMT]]>It’s quite interesting to see all the comments.


DD & DS just started secondary school and we caved in and got smartphones for them before school started. Before this they used old-fashioned Nokia phones to be in touch when they are out of the house.

I notice that both kids have school/class whatsapp groups and each morning there will be 1000+ messages on the app! Thank God, my kids don’t like Whatsapp too much…

They also don’t have any social media accounts as they are not yet 13 and like someone else mentioned, I’ve told them if they get any account without permission, they will be punished and phones confesticated!

Now my problem - while I can monitor phone access while I am at home, how do we do that when we are at work and they are back from school? Most days when I get home, both are using the phone to play games or watch videos on youtube. When I ask about hw, they say it’s all done…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1628788https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1628788Fri, 15 Jan 2016 00:34:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 12:47:54 GMT]]>Depends on the child, I guess. My 2 girls and I were all using "dumb" phones until they got smartphones 2 yrs ago and I got mine last year. We weren’t at all embarrassed - one of my daughters joked that it was a good conversation starter!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627848https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627848Wed, 13 Jan 2016 12:47:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 08:04:20 GMT]]>

slmkhoo:
atrecord:

There is also the danger of the kid being addicted to the phone, and can't do without it.


The mild outcome would be maybe obvious withdrawal symptoms when denied access to it.

And the extreme outcome: (i don't know how true) a friend ever said that he has a colleague/friend who later regretted it so much, because the kid was so addicted, they didn't let the kid get hold of a charger when the phone went flat. And next thing the kid actually jumped and ended up paralyzed...

That's sad, but surely the child didn't get to that state of addiction in a day? The parents should have noticed and curbed it earlier?

We have not actually set any digital blocks for our girls although we did consider it when we first gave them phones. We decided that the ideal situation would be to train them in self-discipline first, and only resort to locks and blocks if that didn't seem to be working. Our \"strategy\" was two-fold - we set firm rules and enforced them, and we did our best to convince our kids that being glued to a gadget for hours a day was a waste of time and bad for them. So far, so good. One daughter is on her phone a bit more than I would like, but she still keeps within my rules, has a busy off-line social life and manages her schoolwork well, so we let her be.

Agree. The 'deny access' option is really not the first and best option. It would be ideal if they know how to control themselves, and can think rationally.

But rationale is not in big supply at times. Apart from this, another friend shared this:

Before his daughter was given a smart phone, and when she was going for tuition and staying back for CCA/remedial running up to PSLE a few years ago, my friend had an old spare nokia phone (those last time old phones from pre-smartphone days) and they got a SIM card and asked the girl to carry it with her for easy communication. It began ok, but they noticed that a while later, the girl will not answer the phone when they called. On checking, they saw that the phone was switched to silent (no vibration even) mode all the time. When they asked the girl, she said she didn't want to be seen carrying the old fashioned phone as it was embarrassing. So she didn't even let it ring or else there might be questions from her classmates/friends…

I was quite shocked when I heard it, and then last year when DD was in the same situation (tuition, remedial), she was actually a bit reluctant to do exactly the same thing (we too have spare old phones and gave her one). But we told her that's the only option and luckily she didn't resist.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627734https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627734Wed, 13 Jan 2016 08:04:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 07:03:49 GMT]]>I scare DD away from all these social sites by letting her watch CSI Cyber. 😆

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627708https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627708Wed, 13 Jan 2016 07:03:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 07:00:30 GMT]]>

atrecord:
There is also the danger of the kid being addicted to the phone, and can't do without it.


The mild outcome would be maybe obvious withdrawal symptoms when denied access to it.

And the extreme outcome: (i don't know how true) a friend ever said that he has a colleague/friend who later regretted it so much, because the kid was so addicted, they didn't let the kid get hold of a charger when the phone went flat. And next thing the kid actually jumped and ended up paralyzed...
That's sad, but surely the child didn't get to that state of addiction in a day? The parents should have noticed and curbed it earlier?

We have not actually set any digital blocks for our girls although we did consider it when we first gave them phones. We decided that the ideal situation would be to train them in self-discipline first, and only resort to locks and blocks if that didn't seem to be working. Our \"strategy\" was two-fold - we set firm rules and enforced them, and we did our best to convince our kids that being glued to a gadget for hours a day was a waste of time and bad for them. So far, so good. One daughter is on her phone a bit more than I would like, but she still keeps within my rules, has a busy off-line social life and manages her schoolwork well, so we let her be.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627706https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627706Wed, 13 Jan 2016 07:00:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 06:14:24 GMT]]>There is also the danger of the kid being addicted to the phone, and can’t do without it.


The mild outcome would be maybe obvious withdrawal symptoms when denied access to it.

And the extreme outcome: (i don’t know how true) a friend ever said that he has a colleague/friend who later regretted it so much, because the kid was so addicted, they didn’t let the kid get hold of a charger when the phone went flat. And next thing the kid actually jumped and ended up paralyzed…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627677https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627677Wed, 13 Jan 2016 06:14:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 05:37:51 GMT]]>Sean Wife,


I think the bottom line question should be : how much can your child take before things start to go downhill for your child?

In our "quest" to provide our children the best within our efforts, to help them stay ahead or to provide them with that particular competitive edge amongst their peers, we are sometimes blinded by our best intentions and we lost ourselves.

I guess the best foot forward is moderation. The way we have it out in my family is consensus. If there is no consensus between my hubby and myself, we either strike an acceptable middle ground in the interim and revisit it again, or leave things unchanged and revisit again. We try to be logical and try to convince the other, but if all else fails, no action is taken - we can agree to disagree for now and revisit later.

At the end of the day, sometimes I will ease my (or my hubby’s) persistence by asking myself (him) how do I want my children to remember me when they are older? What do I want them to remember about their growing years when they older? Questions like that allows me to ease some unnecessary worries and take a step back and re-evaluate the things on hand.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627660https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627660Wed, 13 Jan 2016 05:37:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 03:08:23 GMT]]>Not exactly related to the use of mobile devices…but I do face differences with DH regarding other parenting issues with kids, e.g. how much or what type of enrichment the kids should have, how much study time should they put in, what time they should go to bed etc etc…many times, it leads to arguments as we both think that each of us is right. I can only console myself that both of us have the kids’ best interests in mind, but somehow what we think is the best is just different. Unfortunately, while we can gauge a person’s character and core values during ‘pak-tor’ days, such differences in parenting style cannot be easily revealed during those ‘pre-kids’ days. In the past, there is this saying that having kids bind a couple together…but these days, seems like more couples having disagreements because of kids.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627530https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627530Wed, 13 Jan 2016 03:08:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 03:06:56 GMT]]>I think there is an app that locks up the phone for a pre-set number of hours, rendering everything inaccessible - youtube, whatsapp, etc. . One example of policing app is "Self Control" or something, can’t remember the exact name, should be available in playbook for app store. Told my kids to get the classmates to call the traditional house phone if urgent, my mobile phone also can.


For laptops - there is also parental control on what can be accessed and what cannot, I haven’t had to try those, so I have no idea. Might need to create a separate child account for your child though.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627529https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627529Wed, 13 Jan 2016 03:06:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 02:21:43 GMT]]>Thing is I don’t even want to have to manage all these. If he had not set them up for kiddos, there will be no need to have to manage them. He has access to their accounts and he had a shock when he checked and saw the kind of things that were posted and the language used by some of the vloggers and followers, etc. He asked me to monitor what the kids access. I told him his problem since he gave them access. Want to solve the problem, delete the accounts.


So far, removing the gadgets in the afternoons work, since remove gadgets mean no way to access all that. School term, I unplug all the gaming consoles so no access again.

Recently, DH almost bought DS his own laptop. I blew my top. I asked him why would a P5 kid need his very own laptop?!?!? That said, I think DD will need access to the comp more now that she is in Sec sch. So locking the accounts might be a way. Only available on youtube?

Thanks for the suggestion.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627470https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627470Wed, 13 Jan 2016 02:21:43 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 02:00:50 GMT]]>

Funz:
Kiddos obtained their smart phones early. DD in P4 and DS P3. Thanks to their father. He enjoyed the gifting and I have to be the one to make sure kiddos manage the usage properly.


So far, both have been rather co-operative about the usage. Home, lunch & unwind for bit, by 3pm, all devices put aside, homework, revisions, read. They get to use them again after dinner. No games/videos though, only for listening to music or chatting with friends.

Now that DD is getting older, I foresee a higher attachment to that gadget. To make matters more challenging, I not only have to see how kids are managing what they have, I have to fight with DH over his setting up youtube accounts, facebook accounts, instagram accounts, and whatever social media accounts they ask for. And also giving them the lastest gadgets and gaming consoles. I am losing the fight with DH.
Funz,

Strike middle ground with your hubby - while you won't object to what he is doing, creating accounts and all, insist for the rights to police the use during school days and XX weeks prior to exams and such.

And then, install policing tools which will require password for youtube and the such and give no password to anyone, then hehehehe ... you can have the last laugh.

I didn't know such tools existed earlier on, but when DD2 was taking PSLE two years back, she installed the app to help herself manage time better and ask me to input the password, so now I know. And every time she wants to use youtube after completing all her work, I will have to unlock it.

FB accounts and the such - my children don't have them. They are not suppose to lie so we told them while they will young that if we catch them with a FB account, they will be in trouble, because they would have to lie on their age to have it setup, so the they will be caned :spank:

Now, some times I ask if they need instagram and the likes, they ask me, \"what for???\" Of course, underlying rules will be I must be in their circles and have certain access to it.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627442https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627442Wed, 13 Jan 2016 02:00:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 01:37:02 GMT]]>

BlueBells:
Our home WIFI has 2 zones - one zone that will stop functioning at 11:30pm (used to be 12am, but we brought it forward) 24 x 7 for the schooling kids; the other zone is not restricted for the parents. 😂


The kids do not have the wifi password and (thankfully) are not savvy enough to crack it.

And then we ban phone use and story books for 2 hours at night - which is strictly for school work and revision only. Rule applies Monday to Friday. Even if they have no homework to hand in the next day, and will only stare at their text books, or lecture notes, so be it. We are sticking to our rules.

Flouting the rule means we confiscate the phone or the book. Hard battle, but the parents are gaining grounds. 🙂
thanks...will try this. but must make sure i don't block myself in the process.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627424https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627424Wed, 13 Jan 2016 01:37:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 01:33:11 GMT]]>Kiddos obtained their smart phones early. DD in P4 and DS P3. Thanks to their father. He enjoyed the gifting and I have to be the one to make sure kiddos manage the usage properly.


So far, both have been rather co-operative about the usage. Home, lunch & unwind for bit, by 3pm, all devices put aside, homework, revisions, read. They get to use them again after dinner. No games/videos though, only for listening to music or chatting with friends.

Now that DD is getting older, I foresee a higher attachment to that gadget. To make matters more challenging, I not only have to see how kids are managing what they have, I have to fight with DH over his setting up youtube accounts, facebook accounts, instagram accounts, and whatever social media accounts they ask for. And also giving them the lastest gadgets and gaming consoles. I am losing the fight with DH.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627419https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627419Wed, 13 Jan 2016 01:33:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 01:10:29 GMT]]>This problem is very real.


DD just went to sec sch., and we had resisted giving her a smartphone till now. The battle begins.

But even before this, they (DS is in P5) have been taking my parents’ phones at every opportunity to play, watch youtube and even whatsapp…

Let’s see if i can find some surefire tips here on how to control the situation - thanks!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627405https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627405Wed, 13 Jan 2016 01:10:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 00:19:57 GMT]]>Our home WIFI has 2 zones - one zone that will stop functioning at 11:30pm (used to be 12am, but we brought it forward) 24 x 7 for the schooling kids; the other zone is not restricted for the parents. 😂


The kids do not have the wifi password and (thankfully) are not savvy enough to crack it.

And then we ban phone use and story books for 2 hours at night - which is strictly for school work and revision only. Rule applies Monday to Friday. Even if they have no homework to hand in the next day, and will only stare at their text books, or lecture notes, so be it. We are sticking to our rules.

Flouting the rule means we confiscate the phone or the book. Hard battle, but the parents are gaining grounds. 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627384https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627384Wed, 13 Jan 2016 00:19:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Tue, 12 Jan 2016 23:06:28 GMT]]>It is really hard when teens and parents do not see eye to eye on such matters. I don’t have any solutions for parents of teens, but for those with younger children - take action earlier rather than later! Set rules and enforce them. Convince (ie brainwash) your kids to believe that unfettered use of devices is bad, teach them to enjoy activities (and sleep) which do not involve gadgets, and set a good example yourselves. As the parent of teen girls, I can vouch for the fact that prevention is much better than cure.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627351https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627351Tue, 12 Jan 2016 23:06:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Tue, 12 Jan 2016 14:33:58 GMT]]>

It’s 12:30am, and time for my pre-bed ritual: tiptoe upstairs so as not to wake the children, brush my teeth, turn out the lights … and then catch sight of that telltale, flickering blue glow coming from under the 15-year-old’s bedroom door. I mentally prepare myself for the nightly battle, and knock on the door.

“Come on, Fred, turn your phone off – it’s nearly 1am and you’ve got school tomorrow.”
“Don’t lie, Dad. It’s not ‘nearly’ 1am. It’s only 12.30.”

“Just turn it off and get to sleep. Please. It’s only crappy videos on the internet – they’ll still be there in the morning.”

“But I’ve done nothing wrong!” (I paraphrase: this is a teenage boy we’re talking about here, so his “conversation” is littered with swearing and streetspeak, which are best left to the imagination.)

This is a part of an article from UK Guardian newspaper last week, how similar to us here in Singapore? Almost every night my wife and I have to bark at my daughter (19 years old, hopefully not my son soon!) to stop twitting, messaging, youtubing etc. The Guardian article carries a title: Are British kids so unhappy? Two words: screen time. In fact, we parents are the most unhappy lots since the advent of the mobile devices! Surely this is the biggest mega trend enabled by the historic globalisation of technology! I believe the parents of the poorest countries around the world are also facing the similar agonies. So Steve Jobs should be posthumously conferred a Nobel Prize for Peace for creating the highest level of equality amidst the increasing divides of global inequalities (wealth, food, education etc)!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627291https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1627291Tue, 12 Jan 2016 14:33:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Mobile phones are detrimental to your DDs and DSs learning on Sun, 10 Jan 2016 05:10:30 GMT]]>As a UK poster I concur. In fact my son studies at a secondary school in Birmingham. Phones must be switched off during lesson times, however, when I look at his phone he is texting at all times of the day.


I am struggling to make education feel interesting, as I have noted slippage in his academic performance. I have banned the PS4 until term holidays, removed the ability to download apps on his iPhone and iPad. This is more important now that he will face new style rigorous GCSEs, amongst the hardest we have had since the 50s. There is a correlation between his performance and time didn’t on such devices. Sadly, this is an issue worldwide.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1625915https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1625915Sun, 10 Jan 2016 05:10:30 GMT