What will you do if you were my friend?


My friend’s dd (K) is in Sec 1 this year. She is generally well behaved and has no past behavioural problems. In fact I know the girl is quite timid in front of teachers and is generally very pleasant. Not a trouble maker.

Last week, after school, K and her friend were walking along the general office enroute to the exit gate of the school. The girl’s friend wanted to give K her phone number and so requested K to hand over her mobile so that she could punch in her numbers onto K’s mobile. At this moment, a teacher came out of the general office and saw the two of them. The school has a strict policy about using mobiles only in designated areas. So when she saw the girl holding on the phone and keying numbers, she immediately demanded to know whose phone was that. K replied it was hers. The teacher took away her phone and wrote down her name. K’s friend was not involved in the exchange. Neither did the teacher make any attempt to find out more.

Last week, my friend received a notification from school that her daughter’s phone will be confiscated for 1 month, K was given a demerit point and told to attend detention class this week.

If you were my friend, what will you do? My friend acknowledged that K did take out the phone and so was fine with the school confiscating the phone for 1 month. But to be given a demerit point and told to attend detention class within one month of attending a new school might be too stressful for K to handle. And K’s friend got away with it eventho she was the one using the phone?

How would you handle this? My friend doesn’t want to kick a big fuss (scared her daughter might get marked) but felt the treatment was really high handed and unfair.

Thanks for any thoughts/comments

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/8666/detention-classRSS for NodeSat, 09 May 2026 21:51:46 GMTMon, 01 Feb 2010 01:07:28 GMT60whoa that's unlucky, but rules are rules... from my experience with my nieces/colleagues' kids, detention class isn't that much of a serious affair... depending on the school, it's either write reflections or clean up school areas. all pretty much have no lasting effect on the kids' future in the school / out of the school, so just take it with a pinch of salt i guess.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/121374https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/121374Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:33:41 GMTYes, it does seem too "highhanded" in the approach but then I think from the school’s perspective, they want to send very strong signal about discipline with handphone. I heard handphones are a big headache with teens in school…you hear stories of them being used to take videos/bullying/passing love msgs etc. Perhaps with Sec 1, the school will even be more vigilant because they want to start them with the right "footing" - to emphasize that they mean business with the rule! As a parent, I would support such tough discipline in a school because I know that in this environment, my gal will not be tempted or influenced to abuse her hp (and get distracted) when she is supposed to be studying!


However bringing this up to the discipline master to "appeal" is not wrong because you will send a message to "K" that her parents understood her position (that her fren is actually the other equally wrong party) and had taken steps to support her. At least, K can tell her side of the story even if the punishment is not withdrawn. K did admit that she is "wrong" to hand over the hp in the first place so that shows she is sensible & is facing up her due punishment . I think K and her friend will learn much from this episode and move on stronger. (K had also discovered that this so called "friend" will dessert her when trouble comes cos she didn’t offer to share the blame!)

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/117279https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/117279Tue, 02 Feb 2010 16:14:07 GMTHow about dropping an email to the discipline master/mistress about the issue, explaining things and see what the school says and then taking it from there? I am sure the school is not such an unreasonable school and being in S1 somemore.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/116093https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/116093Mon, 01 Feb 2010 01:24:36 GMTEven traffic police ticket can have an appeal possibility. So your friend should make an appointment with the teacher and let K do the talking (since she is old enough) to explain the situation.


Being in a new school and this is only Jan 2010, a gentle warning for a first-time offender is good enough.

Just to share a speeding experience at Hougang. I have no idea there is a speed limit check and sped there one day as I need to fetch my kid after a meeting that ended late. All I got was a letter of warning from traffic police which I highly appreciated. Even though it is a warning, it sticks in my mind so well. So warning also has its effects, no need to get into harsh punishment immediately. Just my 2 cents worth.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/116090https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/116090Mon, 01 Feb 2010 01:17:40 GMT