Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond?

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Thu, 22 Dec 2016 16:17:57 GMT

miss koh — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 16:17:57 GMT

Actually, did anyone realise one thing? The fish size is the same be it in the big pond or small pond. It is just that in the small pond, the fish looks big; while in the big pond, the fish looks small. What i feel is that the most fundamental thing is still ensuring the "fish" can continue to grow at a rate that is according to his/her potential and that’s where be it in the big pond or small pond, the fish will definitely survive.

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Wed, 17 Aug 2016 12:34:47 GMT

MrsKiasu — Wed, 17 Aug 2016 12:34:47 GMT

jetsetter:
MyPillow:
[quote=\"sleepy\"]In a big pond, aim to maintain result to be among top 50. Good enough I guess and still at comfortable stress level

I think this is V good , to be top 50 . the per cohort population is abt 300 in gd sch.

After all big small ponds, all fishes must go into sea n oceans - 那才是考真的本事了.
Some people are gd in study but may not be doing as well in working world...
in fact quite a handful of such cases in my decade of working life -seen colleagues/peers fr the top sch, but work wise so so .... after few yrs, they cannot catch up a fish who was in a small pond before.

agreed. It's more important to be world-ready aka ocean-ready (in hquek's words) than big/small pond-ready. IMHO, if you're top 15-20% of your cohort from any of the Big 3 local unis, it's more than good enough to survive in our local PME job market as well as the global market. A lot of expats are B-graders, but they do better aka more world-ready in MNCs than our A graders from Singapore. No need to be top top...

Too \"top\" or too big a fish, you're also in trouble, cos you demand higher salary and perks and bear in mind top positions are limited as we (esp women) advance. Oftentimes, big fishes from big ponds may have to report to a small fish from a smaller pond in Singapore. 太精也是一大头痛！

Don't forget big or small female fishes have a limited shelf life in the working world too. Most can slog up to 45 years old at most, so no matter how big a fish the girls were in their pri-uni years, they will sooner or later be tempted to go flexi or leave the sea. Especially for those big fishes who've benefitted immensely, i.e. nurtured and groomed by stay at home moms. They are more likely to follow the footsteps of their model tiger moms to nurture the next gen. Another important thing to note is however big a female fish you are, you might have to uproot and follow your bigger hubby fish on multiple overseas postings. Your income stream will be affected somewhat.

Male fishes' fates are diff in this part of the world. The likelihood of the big and small male fishes staying in the workforce till 67 (target retirement age) and earning power is much higher. Hope this practice will be changed in the near future though.[/quote]as usual, like to read your analysis

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Wed, 17 Aug 2016 11:25:46 GMT

MrsKiasu — Wed, 17 Aug 2016 11:25:46 GMT

I would like to say that dh has exceeded my expectation :oops: When I first got to know him. I can say that he was just avg/below avg in this group of boys. I kinda know the actual him around my mid thirties :razz:..again I always believe we will tend to have our up and down cycles throughout our working life la..aiya, as usual my expectation is low :rotflmao:

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Wed, 17 Aug 2016 07:18:35 GMT

sharonkhoo — Wed, 17 Aug 2016 07:18:35 GMT

sleepy:
MyPillow:

After all big small ponds, all fishes must go into sea n oceans - 那才是考真的本事了.
Some people are gd in study but may not be doing as well in working world...
A friend was recently complaining on whatapps that her dh personality is too 直 argued with his boss. His academic qualification was what attracted her initially but she felt that he underperformed in his career track.

I think we should each of us take a good look at ourselves, then choose where we want to position ourselves and what aspirations are realistic given our personality, skills, opportunities, life situation etc. After a childhood and youth being told to aim high, it was such a relief for me when I accepted that I couldn't reach that high, didn't want to, and didn't need to as long as I was willing to live simply. I tell my girls to do that too.

Sleepy - I am in the same situation as your friend in the sense that my husband has not \"lived up to\" his academic qualifications and early career opportunities. The difference is that I didn't choose him for those reasons, and actively encouraged him to choose his own road when I realised that he had other aspirations (which we considered more worthy and more suitable for his personality and character). I admire him for his willingness to turn his back on the \"normal\" things people aspire for and wouldn't want him to be anything different. I think your friend will be much happier if she values her husband for who he is than for what she hoped he would be. (And the same for her kids, if she has any.)

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Wed, 17 Aug 2016 05:42:41 GMT

sleepy — Wed, 17 Aug 2016 05:42:41 GMT

MyPillow:

After all big small ponds, all fishes must go into sea n oceans - 那才是考真的本事了.
Some people are gd in study but may not be doing as well in working world...

A friend was recently complaining on whatapps that her dh personality is too 直 argued with his boss. His academic qualification was what attracted her initially but she felt that he underperformed in his career track.

Agreed EQ is extremely important. I mentioned the importance of EQ countless times in other threads
I envy dh and dd1. They are naturally good with people. Seem so effortless to them. Great people skills and always got 贵人 around them. dd2, on the other hand, is like me the 孤芳自赏 type

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Wed, 17 Aug 2016 04:54:36 GMT

jetsetter — Wed, 17 Aug 2016 04:54:36 GMT

MyPillow:
sleepy:
In a big pond, aim to maintain result to be among top 50. Good enough I guess and still at comfortable stress level

I think this is V good , to be top 50 . the per cohort population is abt 300 in gd sch.

After all big small ponds, all fishes must go into sea n oceans - 那才是考真的本事了.
Some people are gd in study but may not be doing as well in working world...
in fact quite a handful of such cases in my decade of working life -seen colleagues/peers fr the top sch, but work wise so so .... after few yrs, they cannot catch up a fish who was in a small pond before.

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Wed, 17 Aug 2016 03:45:41 GMT

MyPillow — Wed, 17 Aug 2016 03:45:41 GMT

sleepy:
In a big pond, aim to maintain result to be among top 50. Good enough I guess and still at comfortable stress level

I think this is V good , to be top 50 . the per cohort population is abt 300 in gd sch.

After all big small ponds, all fishes must go into sea n oceans - 那才是考真的本事了.
Some people are gd in study but may not be doing as well in working world...
in fact quite a handful of such cases in my decade of working life -seen colleagues/peers fr the top sch, but work wise so so .... after few yrs, they cannot catch up a fish who was in a small pond before.

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Wed, 17 Aug 2016 03:34:18 GMT

sleepy — Wed, 17 Aug 2016 03:34:18 GMT

In a big pond, aim to maintain result to be among top 50. Good enough I guess and still at comfortable stress level

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Wed, 17 Aug 2016 03:20:55 GMT

janet88 — Wed, 17 Aug 2016 03:20:55 GMT

archcherub:
i grew up as a small fish in a big pond.. and due to streaming was transferred to a small pond, where i was one of the bigger fish...

i think growing as a small fish in a big pond is better

confidence is crucial for kids. that's half a battle won.

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 13:36:35 GMT

Newtandcucumber — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 13:36:35 GMT

My niece was the lowest scoring entrant to her exam selective grammar school. She was a small fish in a big pond. She struggled for 3 years. She progressed. She has just completed first year of Dentistry at Kings College, London. Always better to be in a big pond. My two sons were big fish in their small pond primary schools. They are now small fish in big ponds at their exam selective grammar school.

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 03:03:21 GMT

janet88 — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 03:03:21 GMT

in a big or small pond, the fish has to learn there are all kinds swimming around them…some may be more aggressive. as they swim, they will eventually swim out to big sea out there and have to learn how to adapt or get eaten up.

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:59:07 GMT

zulu — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:59:07 GMT

Pen88n:
Small pond or big pond? More importantly the pond has a conducive environment - clean water, enough air, enough food, not overcrowded, friendly fishes around, etc. Then the fish will be a happy fish, be it a big fish or a small fish, right?

If pond produces many healthy fish ,big and small, then environment must be conducive, no?

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:41:46 GMT

Pen88n — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:41:46 GMT

hquek:
Big or small fish...have to learn there is the ocean out there. Else fish may become frog in well.

:salute: So true!

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:41:07 GMT

nicnac — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:41:07 GMT

hquek:
Big or small fish...have to learn there is the ocean out there. Else fish may become frog in well.

I like this. :goodpost:

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:41:07 GMT

nicnac — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:41:07 GMT

hquek:
Big or small fish...have to learn there is the ocean out there. Else fish may become frog in well.

I like this. :goodpost:

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:38:39 GMT

hquek — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:38:39 GMT

Big or small fish…have to learn there is the ocean out there. Else fish may become frog in well.

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:23:44 GMT

Pen88n — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:23:44 GMT

Small pond or big pond? More importantly the pond has a conducive environment - clean water, enough air, enough food, not overcrowded, friendly fishes around, etc. Then the fish will be a happy fish, be it a big fish or a small fish, right?

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:19:04 GMT

nicnac — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:19:04 GMT

janet88:
zulu:
i actually asked my DD the question when we were looking at secondary schools. she was in a neighbourhood primary school (big fish small pond) and she specifically told me she wanted to try a big pond.

my son was a small fish in a big pond in primary school. he felt like an outcast.
in lower secondary, he was very miserable because his classmates were not keen in their studies, he wanted so much to do well and move into the top class in sec 3. he is in the 2nd top class and doing reasonably well now. his self esteem has improved.

Big fish, small fish. I don't even know what kind of fish my dd is

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:10:14 GMT

janet88 — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:10:14 GMT

zulu:
i actually asked my DD the question when we were looking at secondary schools. she was in a neighbourhood primary school (big fish small pond) and she specifically told me she wanted to try a big pond.

my son was a small fish in a big pond in primary school. he felt like an outcast.
in lower secondary, he was very miserable because his classmates were not keen in their studies, he wanted so much to do well and move into the top class in sec 3. he is in the 2nd top class and doing reasonably well now. his self esteem has improved.

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:01:43 GMT

zulu — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 02:01:43 GMT

i actually asked my DD the question when we were looking at secondary schools. she was in a neighbourhood primary school (big fish small pond) and she specifically told me she wanted to try a big pond.

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 01:43:11 GMT

waiyean — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 01:43:11 GMT

While I generally agrees with some of the concepts in the original article, some of the conclusions derived from the research conducted seems flawed and superficial. For example, the comment about middle ability students: "What is surprising from our experiment is that middle-ability students outperform their peers if placed against superior competitors."

I didn’t see anywhere in the article where author shows that the middle-ability students performed well because of superior competitors, and not because of the presence of lower-ability students which boosted their confidence.

Furthermore, the author makes no reference to sub-division of the school population into abilities-segregated classes. "Given your child’s ability, going to a prestigious school may place him "below average" in his class. This might discourage him from competing with the better students because of the wide performance gap." This can be mitigated when that child is placed in a class of similar or closer abilities, even if it might be one of the lower ability classes in the school.

Assuming that the right school does matters, then when should that segregation take place? Does it apply to choosing the secondary school, which is effectively the first opportunity you get to choose basis abilities? However, six years would already be spent in a primary school, where most of us don’t have much choices anyway, subjected to proximity to school, affiliations, and balloting results. Does that mean that we should have a pre-primary evaluation test to identify the abilities of our pre-primary 1 students so that they are placed in the right school in the first formative years of their school lives? I am sure most of us will disagree with that.

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Fri, 15 Jul 2016 00:56:23 GMT

TWU — Fri, 15 Jul 2016 00:56:23 GMT

It's important to know about strength and weakness of a child as well as to attend open house in order to know more about a school during principal's talk before making selection of school (either via DSA or results of PSLE).

As shared in other thread, it's learning attitude of student that determines his/her future instead of school. Students equip with good attitude - self-directed, self-motivated and self-disciplined will definitely have brighter future than those lack of good attitude.

Student will be demoralized if one is keeping on being tail of cohort, teachers will give poor comments too and such will affect self-confidence level of the student.

Some suit for IP, some suit for Express and some suit to choose N(A) or N(T).

If a student equips with Suzuki engine but is asked/forced to choose IP which requires student to equip with Ferrari engine. Do you think this student will excel for next few years? :imdrowning:

Most important, student must choose right size of pond that on a par with his/her ability.

Reply to Big fish in small pond OR small fish in big pond? on Wed, 13 Jul 2016 06:01:53 GMT

Funz — Wed, 13 Jul 2016 06:01:53 GMT

Have to stick our heads out now and then to see what is happening around us and with our neighbours. Else may end up being complacent and out of touch with reality. Cannot be too internally focused also.

Anyways, I think I shared quite a long time ago about this big fish or small fish pond.

Funz:
Big pond or small pond. Truth is I will always choose big pond and want kiddos to work at staying in the big pond. I do not need them to be the big fish in the big pond. Even if they are among the smallest fish in that big pond, that is fine by me, of course if they can be the medium fish, that will be ideal.

My way of thinking, if they are among people of that kind of calibre, they will work towards that calibre, teachers will teach base on that calibre, chances of them being of that calibre is high. I also have selfish reasons. If kiddos are in that group, my job is a bit easier, I can leave academics largely to be driven by her school and I play the supporting role.

Every pond is a pond in a pond. The class is the smallest group of ponds in another group of ponds which is the school. DD is in what is considered a big pond school. She did well enough last year to swim in the biggest ponds in that school. Along the way, the rest of her friends grew a lot bigger. DD grew but not as much as the rest and in the other ponds of the school there are others that grew to be bigger than DD. So DD was put into one of the medium ponds for next year. But looking at her, she is among the biggest fish in that medium pond now, so her teacher told her. DD felt good on hearing that. She said she prefer being the big fish instead of the small fish.

I have yet to really talk to her about all this pond and fish talk. Got to find a way to explain to her my thoughts and why I prefer her to be in the big pond even if it means she is a small fish there. Like it or not, in Singapore school system even if you are the biggest fish in your medium pond, you will be just medium. You will be given medium calibre teaching, medium calibre resources, medium calibre challenges. And you will come out medium but thinking you are BIG. Even if you have the potential, you may not be able to grow to be big enough because you are given the medium growth kind of nourishment. And because you look around you and see that you are already the biggest, you feel you do not need to swim that much harder or faster so you just cruise along. You are lulled into a false sense of achievement. When the walls from all the other ponds come down, as with every pond, it will, you suddenly find that you are not at all among the biggest. And to play catch up will be all that much tougher.

DS on the other hand is in what I consider a small pond primary school. So for him, I think it will be even more important to ensure that he is in a big pond in that school.

My wish for both my kids is, at the end of the day, when all the walls come down, that they at least be among the medium fish, well hopefully they will be the bigger ones of all the medium fish.