<![CDATA[Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister...]]>

zbear:
novels:

[quote=\"BlueBells\"]I guess being married or single is not the issue. To me, the main gist of it all will be how bonded is the aunt to my kids.


I have an elder sis who's single. She adores my children and nephews and looks after / dotes them no less than their biological parents; and I know if something happens to hubby and me, my kids will be in good hand. On the other hand, I have a married BIL (and wife) who has literally zero bonding with my kids. They won't even show face on the first day of CNY despite living with MIL.

Anyway, my brother and I have constantly remind our children that besides their parents, all the next generation kids are expected to chip in and look after my elder sis as well; no two ways about it.

BlueBell, I have almost same situation as you. I have an younger sis who is not going to get married, she adores my kids so much that I think she has too pamper them. My bro and sil who have no kid yet, also adore my kids. As for my married younger SIL (and husband) also no bonding with my kids although they dun have any kid either. They are more worst, no news since a few months ago, not even a CNY greeting to my MIL, no allowance no angpao to my MIL as well, dun talk about visit her to 拜年.

I have also keep telling my kids, they have to help to take care of my sis when they grow up, she is like their 2nd mummy. I am always feel blessed to have so many people adore my kids, even my elder SIL who has 4 kids herself, she adore my kids too.


I think it's human nature to reciprocate when one shows love to the other.

In situations when the single sister or sister in law doesn't show any love to your children, do you expect your children to take care of her in future????[/quote]If my kids have ability I will hope they will do it. like my husband's aunty, she lost her husband many yrs ago, and she do not have any kid, me and my husband had a discussion b4 that we will take care of her when she is not able to take care of herself. My husband also give her allowances in some special occasions, always buy her supplements etc. The aunty didnt show special love to my husband when he was young but we still doing what we can do.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/87532/hubby-s-unmarried-elder-sisterRSS for NodeSat, 09 May 2026 21:52:49 GMTWed, 15 Feb 2017 09:55:16 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Sat, 11 Feb 2017 00:03:44 GMT]]>

novels:
BlueBells:

I guess being married or single is not the issue. To me, the main gist of it all will be how bonded is the aunt to my kids.


I have an elder sis who's single. She adores my children and nephews and looks after / dotes them no less than their biological parents; and I know if something happens to hubby and me, my kids will be in good hand. On the other hand, I have a married BIL (and wife) who has literally zero bonding with my kids. They won't even show face on the first day of CNY despite living with MIL.

Anyway, my brother and I have constantly remind our children that besides their parents, all the next generation kids are expected to chip in and look after my elder sis as well; no two ways about it.

BlueBell, I have almost same situation as you. I have an younger sis who is not going to get married, she adores my kids so much that I think she has too pamper them. My bro and sil who have no kid yet, also adore my kids. As for my married younger SIL (and husband) also no bonding with my kids although they dun have any kid either. They are more worst, no news since a few months ago, not even a CNY greeting to my MIL, no allowance no angpao to my MIL as well, dun talk about visit her to 拜年.

I have also keep telling my kids, they have to help to take care of my sis when they grow up, she is like their 2nd mummy. I am always feel blessed to have so many people adore my kids, even my elder SIL who has 4 kids herself, she adore my kids too.


I think it's human nature to reciprocate when one shows love to the other.

In situations when the single sister or sister in law doesn't show any love to your children, do you expect your children to take care of her in future????

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1753523https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1753523Sat, 11 Feb 2017 00:03:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Fri, 10 Feb 2017 09:02:41 GMT]]>

BlueBells:
I guess being married or single is not the issue. To me, the main gist of it all will be how bonded is the aunt to my kids.


I have an elder sis who's single. She adores my children and nephews and looks after / dotes them no less than their biological parents; and I know if something happens to hubby and me, my kids will be in good hand. On the other hand, I have a married BIL (and wife) who has literally zero bonding with my kids. They won't even show face on the first day of CNY despite living with MIL.

Anyway, my brother and I have constantly remind our children that besides their parents, all the next generation kids are expected to chip in and look after my elder sis as well; no two ways about it.
BlueBell, I have almost same situation as you. I have an younger sis who is not going to get married, she adores my kids so much that I think she has too pamper them. My bro and sil who have no kid yet, also adore my kids. As for my married younger SIL (and husband) also no bonding with my kids although they dun have any kid either. They are more worst, no news since a few months ago, not even a CNY greeting to my MIL, no allowance no angpao to my MIL as well, dun talk about visit her to 拜年.

I have also keep telling my kids, they have to help to take care of my sis when they grow up, she is like their 2nd mummy. I am always feel blessed to have so many people adore my kids, even my elder SIL who has 4 kids herself, she adore my kids too.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1753449https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1753449Fri, 10 Feb 2017 09:02:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Thu, 03 Nov 2016 06:14:19 GMT]]>Be kind to one another! :imsorry:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1730421https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1730421Thu, 03 Nov 2016 06:14:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Wed, 28 Sep 2016 05:22:38 GMT]]>Hubby’s eldest brother and his wife were married one year earlier than hubby and I, so we are in a similar position. But she is the no-nonsense type so mil can’t bully her. SIL and i have similar characters except that I don’t go head on. Don’t have problems communicating with her but still cautious. I don’t want to be confrontational with his family…but will voice out unhappiness if need to.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721589https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721589Wed, 28 Sep 2016 05:22:38 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Wed, 28 Sep 2016 05:08:53 GMT]]>

janet88:
Yngmng:

I am very fortunate. My sis-in-law is like my mil...the reserved type...difficult to get them to talk....a lot of 冷场。


Brother's Wife is the type who doesn't open mouth...which is ok for me since it's hi and bye.

i have a love hate relationship with 冷场. love it coz its non-confrontational. hate it at the same time coz im the straight forward type. use to do alot of 冷场 with mil, we were staying with her so it is better not to have open disagreement. during that time i have a bit of misunderstanding with BIL's wife too, coz everyone quiet quiet, just imagine stuff in our heads.

after we moved to our own place, i change strategy, i openly voice my unhappiness or im more open with my feeling. relationship with BIL's wife got so much better now. but mil still 看我不爽 occasionally, it's mil lah so i dont bother. i can never make her happy.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721585https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721585Wed, 28 Sep 2016 05:08:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Tue, 27 Sep 2016 07:01:54 GMT]]>

Yngmng:
I am very fortunate. My sis-in-law is like my mil...the reserved type...difficult to get them to talk....a lot of 冷场。

Brother's Wife is the type who doesn't open mouth...which is ok for me since it's hi and bye.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721373https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721373Tue, 27 Sep 2016 07:01:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Tue, 27 Sep 2016 06:19:38 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu:
pacetone:

[quote=\"MrsKiasu\"]for my side, I find that relationship with ils can be built on gambling table..esp during cny. If I could turn back the clock maybe good to jio mil to sit there with me. relationship with sils, bils and nephews/nieces all not too bad except the eldest sil/bil coz they never sat on the gambling table with me before.


I agree to a certain extend for those who love mahjong and/or cards. Problem is I don't even know how to play, so I always excuse myself and watch TV instead.

They know that they need to play simplified version with me 😄[/quote]I think they will vomit blood playing with me plus I don't intend to part my money to learn. Better be the \"gong gong\" one and sit a corner to watch TV. 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721363https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721363Tue, 27 Sep 2016 06:19:38 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Tue, 27 Sep 2016 04:54:00 GMT]]>

pacetone:
MrsKiasu:

for my side, I find that relationship with ils can be built on gambling table..esp during cny. If I could turn back the clock maybe good to jio mil to sit there with me. relationship with sils, bils and nephews/nieces all not too bad except the eldest sil/bil coz they never sat on the gambling table with me before.


I agree to a certain extend for those who love mahjong and/or cards. Problem is I don't even know how to play, so I always excuse myself and watch TV instead.

They know that they need to play simplified version with me 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721343https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721343Tue, 27 Sep 2016 04:54:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Tue, 27 Sep 2016 04:36:23 GMT]]>I am very fortunate. My sis-in-law is like my mil…the reserved type…difficult to get them to talk…a lot of 冷场。

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721339https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721339Tue, 27 Sep 2016 04:36:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Tue, 27 Sep 2016 04:20:02 GMT]]>

janet88:
sleepy:

[quote=\"macaron12\"]BIL is easier to get along with? I presume?


Not necessarily. BIL has a wife. She is SIL too.

I get along better with BIL's wife more than hubby's sister....because the latter is a spy for her mother. With BIL's wife, we belong to 'the same gang'.[/quote]No gang for me even with BIL's wife. Still the \"hi & bye\" style although she at times will complain to me about MIL. I just listen and nod my head.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721335https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721335Tue, 27 Sep 2016 04:20:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Tue, 27 Sep 2016 04:15:14 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu:
for my side, I find that relationship with ils can be built on gambling table..esp during cny. If I could turn back the clock maybe good to jio mil to sit there with me. relationship with sils, bils and nephews/nieces all not too bad except the eldest sil/bil coz they never sat on the gambling table with me before.

I agree to a certain extend for those who love mahjong and/or cards. Problem is I don't even know how to play, so I always excuse myself and watch TV instead.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721331https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721331Tue, 27 Sep 2016 04:15:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Mon, 26 Sep 2016 18:29:03 GMT]]>

mummychua:


haha... agree! BIL's wife will sympathise the issues I face with our MIL. she my 诉苦对象。
We would face the same problems. So it's good to have an ally and thrash out everything so that mil cannot try to create misunderstandings. It has happened, and we know she was the one who started it.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721264https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721264Mon, 26 Sep 2016 18:29:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Mon, 26 Sep 2016 01:52:04 GMT]]>

janet88:
sleepy:

[quote=\"macaron12\"]BIL is easier to get along with? I presume?


Not necessarily. BIL has a wife. She is SIL too.

I get along better with BIL's wife more than hubby's sister....because the latter is a spy for her mother. With BIL's wife, we belong to 'the same gang'.[/quote]haha... agree! BIL's wife will sympathise the issues I face with our MIL. she my 诉苦对象。

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721063https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721063Mon, 26 Sep 2016 01:52:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Mon, 26 Sep 2016 01:51:56 GMT]]>

janet88:
sleepy:

[quote=\"macaron12\"]BIL is easier to get along with? I presume?


Not necessarily. BIL has a wife. She is SIL too.

I get along better with BIL's wife more than hubby's sister....because the latter is a spy for her mother. With BIL's wife, we belong to 'the same gang'.[/quote]haha... agree! BIL's wife will sympathise the issues I face with our MIL. she my 诉苦对象。

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721062https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1721062Mon, 26 Sep 2016 01:51:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Sun, 25 Sep 2016 07:26:23 GMT]]>for my side, I find that relationship with ils can be built on gambling table…esp during cny. If I could turn back the clock maybe good to jio mil to sit there with me. relationship with sils, bils and nephews/nieces all not too bad except the eldest sil/bil coz they never sat on the gambling table with me before.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720945https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720945Sun, 25 Sep 2016 07:26:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Sun, 25 Sep 2016 06:24:22 GMT]]>

macaron12:
janet88:

[quote=\"sleepy\"]
Not necessarily. BIL has a wife. She is SIL too.

I get along better with BIL's wife more than hubby's sister....because the latter is a spy for her mother. With BIL's wife, we belong to 'the same gang'.

:hi5:[/quote]Not in my case. She viewed me as 假想敌 🦆

I am just minding my own business as usual. Don't know why 惹到 SIL :scratchhead:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720929https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720929Sun, 25 Sep 2016 06:24:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Sun, 25 Sep 2016 04:19:19 GMT]]>

janet88:
sleepy:

[quote=\"macaron12\"]BIL is easier to get along with? I presume?


Not necessarily. BIL has a wife. She is SIL too.

I get along better with BIL's wife more than hubby's sister....because the latter is a spy for her mother. With BIL's wife, we belong to 'the same gang'.[/quote] :hi5:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720909https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720909Sun, 25 Sep 2016 04:19:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Sun, 25 Sep 2016 01:46:14 GMT]]>

sleepy:
macaron12:

BIL is easier to get along with? I presume?


Not necessarily. BIL has a wife. She is SIL too.

I get along better with BIL's wife more than hubby's sister....because the latter is a spy for her mother. With BIL's wife, we belong to 'the same gang'.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720883https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720883Sun, 25 Sep 2016 01:46:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Sun, 25 Sep 2016 01:20:41 GMT]]>

macaron12:
BIL is easier to get along with? I presume?

Not necessarily. BIL has a wife. She is SIL too.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720879https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720879Sun, 25 Sep 2016 01:20:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Sun, 25 Sep 2016 01:12:07 GMT]]>BIL is easier to get along with? I presume?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720876https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720876Sun, 25 Sep 2016 01:12:07 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Sat, 24 Sep 2016 17:23:27 GMT]]>The guy doesn’t want to get involved with his sister(s) and/or mother when they interrogate his girlfriend. But questions like salary is strictly personal.

With families getting smaller, there might be just 1 SIL that our kids would have to face and of course the prospective MIL.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720856https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720856Sat, 24 Sep 2016 17:23:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Sat, 24 Sep 2016 15:40:36 GMT]]>

sleepy:
MrsKiasu:

They ask about the salary or whether you guys make children?


Salary very easy to answer. Apply half half rule if they insist on getting a figure. Under declared (unless your SIL is working in IRAS) then whine about high cost of living, TDSR & expensive tuition fees. They won't ask you salary question again. Skali next time you wanna ask them for loan instead so they will avoid that question. Now who is more scared? LOL

Haha. Well, I'm \"fortunate\" to have 3 SILs(one single) + MIL, there are 4 sets of questions firing at me sometimes. Still remember vividly once I was like a criminal being \"summoned\" by my MiL to the living room & all eyes on me waiting for me to answer (inconvenient to reveal what question) & my husband just sit there & read newspaper as if it got nothing to do with him... And of course he kena scolded by me after that incident.
So ladies, if u r single, mingle more with your potential future SILs 1st b4 getting married. It's a whole package u r marrying to, not just the man.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720848https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720848Sat, 24 Sep 2016 15:40:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Hubby's Unmarried Elder Sister... on Sat, 24 Sep 2016 14:31:51 GMT]]>

MrsKiasu:
They ask about the salary or whether you guys make children?

Salary very easy to answer. Apply half half rule if they insist on getting a figure. Under declared (unless your SIL is working in IRAS) then whine about high cost of living, TDSR & expensive tuition fees. They won't ask you salary question again. Skali next time you wanna ask them for loan instead so they will avoid that question. Now who is more scared? LOL

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720839https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1720839Sat, 24 Sep 2016 14:31:51 GMT