<![CDATA[Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be ....]]>Just wanted to start this off with a tongue-in-cheek title :idea:


Neither borrowers nor lenders, nor guarantors (as suggested by hquek :D) be
This is what was drilled in me when young.... with regards to money.

Okie, pretty easy to subscribe to the former part of the philosophy. And I try v v hard to. But the latter ... hmm sometimes a bit tough, esp when someone you know v v well is facing some genuine hard times and asks you for monetary help.

What would/did you do??? Was it an easy decision to make?? What motivated you to arrive at the decision??

I once had to turn away someone's request to borrow money to pay off certain % of the loan, due to overspending via credit cards etc .., subtly. Despite the problems, that person refused to tone down the lifestyle ie refused to sell off 2nd car (as it would be sold in a loss) and some other factors. So to me, that wasn't a genuine case. Sorry.

But hey, this thread is not only restricted to money, it can refer to things too. For instance, what irks me is when someone requests to borrow something from me and never returns it. Or returns it aft much reminding, or if it's not returned in the original condition (that doesn't apply if there's a valid reason lah, I'm quite understanding ya know :D). I used to teach and I had colleagues coming up to me to borrow stuff. Some returned it/them with thanks ... some did not but left it/them lying on my table... :roll:

So, do you have an experience to share?? It could be you being the lender, the borrower or both. However, if you fall under none of the categories, perhaps you could relate an episode that someone else experienced that you were privy to?? Or maybe just share your thoughts on this issue 😄 😄


Afterthought:
This thought just came to me ...

As parents, what/how do you tell/teach your kids with regards to this topic. I am sure at one point of time or the other, they may have also borrowed/lent money/stuff from frds etc ...

I am afraid I can't share as DS is only 2 and a half .... 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/8826/neither-borrowers-nor-lenders-nor-both-beRSS for NodeThu, 23 Apr 2026 12:49:23 GMTTue, 09 Feb 2010 16:58:39 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:56:16 GMT]]>Thanks Chief. I'll try to digest later. Looks complicated to me. :faint: Any instructions for dummies? :stupid: :stupid:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/140037https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/140037Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:56:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:38:28 GMT]]>tutormum, OT a bit here:


To enter Chinese characters, read this thread:
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2699

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/140031https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/140031Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:38:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:33:45 GMT]]>

kiasimom:
I just lend $100 to a friend although I know she won't return me the money. SHe told me that she is in such bad situations that she doesn't have money to put food on the table. Being kind-hearted, I lend her the money.

But I know deep inside, this loan has to be written off and I am very sure that will be the only amount that I will lend her.

True enough, recently she kept pestering me to lend her money and when I refused, ( I told her, DH holds the purse strings. ) she got upset and started smsing me offensive smses.

So, I am prepared to lose this friend.
:!: :!: In Chinese there's a saying: jie ni shi ren qin, bu jie shi dao li
I think sometimes we must be positive. I have a very close friend who I know that I can borrow or lend money to if there is a need. It's a mutual feeling. Not all friendships will go down the drain when money is involved. I've also lent money to relatives and although they've repaid, I was prepared to write off the loan if they didn't. Of course, in every case, I ensure that it's a genuine case and not pay off some gambling debts etc.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/140026https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/140026Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:33:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 11:54:18 GMT]]>I just lend $100 to a friend although I know she won’t return me the money. SHe told me that she is in such bad situations that she doesn’t have money to put food on the table. Being kind-hearted, I lend her the money.

But I know deep inside, this loan has to be written off and I am very sure that will be the only amount that I will lend her.

True enough, recently she kept pestering me to lend her money and when I refused, ( I told her, DH holds the purse strings. ) she got upset and started smsing me offensive smses.

So, I am prepared to lose this friend.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/140014https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/140014Wed, 10 Mar 2010 11:54:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:14:05 GMT]]>😉 😉

I wanted to say Tai Seng Kopi tiam meet Mr Big Earlobe after 8pm originally 😛

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139889https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139889Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:14:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:11:36 GMT]]>hi,

if you really want to loan your friend money, please write an official IOU and get her to sign. in the IOU, you have to state her address, her name, her NRIC as well as yours and then state clearly the amount borrowed. state also the dateline of which she needs to return and what are the consequences if she did not return (eg interest will kick in at 3 percent per annum etc). then get her to sign and get her to get someone to sign at the witness column. do a yahoo search for sample IOU letter, there are some in the internet for you to refer to and modify.
if she really has the intention to return, she will not fear to sign this document. if she has not intention to return, she will fear to sign the document and think twice about borrowing from you.
JMHO.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061203103253AAdzjQ9

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139888https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139888Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:11:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:08:29 GMT]]>

lovekidsverymuch:
hahaha JAMES 😛

JAMES .. is a night show which actor is Thomas Ong at Channel U???

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139884https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139884Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:08:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:06:44 GMT]]>

hquek:
hi Fussymummy,


I guess your mind is made up ....

Good luck.
Hi hquek,

Made up my mind, mean prepare to lose a friend, a friendship for so many years..... Just feel upset about it..... 😞

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139882https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139882Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:06:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:00:23 GMT]]>

auntieM:

Maybe I would sms her some bank tel numbers for reference and turn off my phone
auntieM, you very kind - still give bank number. In a naughty mode, I may refer that person to \"JAMES\" or pawnshop.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139877https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139877Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:00:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:58:48 GMT]]>hi Fussymummy,


I guess your mind is made up - that’s good. you have to think of your child and your own happiness also. I cannot imagine why pp will want to assume that someone who needs money for her young would want to loan money for whatever reason.

Don’t waver. It’s YOUR money…she didn’t earn it, so why would she have the rights to spend it.

Very hard to turn down, somemore best friend…but unless someone is dying and I see that person , no way I would loan - got or dun have the money is besides the point.

Personally, I REFUSE to use the money I hard-earned to cover someone else’s frivolity. If that person fritters away his/her own money, I don’t see why I should make up for whatever they lack/need. CHEY!

Good luck.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139875https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139875Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:58:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:35:17 GMT]]>What kind of friend with such swanky attitude?

Soli to sound blunt here, it sounded more like you willing party to transfer $ to her…not at all borrowing from you!
If she treats you as very close friend she wouldn’t do this to you, knowing you are a single mum.

Maybe I would sms her some bank tel numbers for reference and turn off my phone

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139864https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139864Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:35:17 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:28:08 GMT]]>

auntieM:
KSP:

2 things can happen after you lend your friend $


1. He disappear or try to avoid you. End of friendship
2. Tell you he does not have $ to repay and the friendship turn sour from there.

This is too common in real life.

Can I please add a point...
3. Come up with another sob story soon enough to borrow somemore 😛

:rotflmao: this is a good one.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139860https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139860Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:28:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:26:41 GMT]]>

qms:


You won't be lonely losing this friend. We are all here ever ready to be your friends. :celebrate:
Thanks qms,

So touching.. :thankyou: :hugs:

and also thanks to the rest... 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139857https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139857Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:26:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:26:06 GMT]]>

fussyMummy:
Never ask is it I agreed ???

My principle has always been there is no harm losing friends who are not worth keeping. We will make new ones along the way who are more sincere and really treat us well.

Maybe this is a good time to test your \"good\" friend.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139856https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139856Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:26:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:21:24 GMT]]>

fussyMummy:
Maybe, prepare to lose a friendship...!?


Then I bury myself inside KSP... haha..
You won't be lonely losing this friend. We are all here ever ready to be your friends. :celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139850https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139850Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:21:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:19:27 GMT]]>

25hourmaid:


I think this is the best reason so far. Tell her the truth that it is precisely because you are a single mum, all the more you need the money for your kid/s needs. If she is a true friend, she'd won't mind you telling her the truth.
Hi 25hourmaid,

She knew my status well.... her last sms.. please transfer the $ on this coming thursday..

Never ask is it I agreed ???

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139843https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139843Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:19:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:17:48 GMT]]>

MMM:
Hi,


I feel that as you said you are a single mum so you need to save money for rainy days.

Just say you need the $ for your child's education,etc....
Hi MMM,

Ya, must save $ for rainy days... that is my principle...

Maybe, prepare to lose a friendship...!?

Then I bury myself inside KSP... haha..

Thanks for all the kindsoul.. :love: 😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139841https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139841Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:17:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:15:13 GMT]]>

MMM:
Hi,


I feel that as you said you are a single mum so you need to save money for rainy days.

Just say you need the $ for your child's education,etc....
I think this is the best reason so far. Tell her the truth that it is precisely because you are a single mum, all the more you need the money for your kid/s needs. If she is a true friend, she'd won't mind you telling her the truth.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139838https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139838Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:15:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:12:20 GMT]]>Hi,


I feel that as you said you are a single mum so you need to save money for rainy days.

Just say you need the $ for your child’s education,etc…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139835https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139835Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:12:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:09:36 GMT]]>

lovekidsverymuch:

fussyMummy:

I am very 节约 person

No wonder she asked cause she knew u might surely have in ur savins 😛

Hi lovekidsverymuch,

Ya lor.. she is very sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :stupid:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139831https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139831Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:09:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:06:27 GMT]]>

lovekidsverymuch:
I agree with tree_nymph need to 1st check how good is the friend and for wat reason she needs the money... if both are affirmative and lending amount(losing amount) is not much like few hundreds then go ahead 😛

A few hundreds still okay.. is few thousands...

I am very 节约 person, as I am a single mother... cant imagin my saving just gone like that.... 😢

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139823https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139823Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:06:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:03:57 GMT]]>Hi All,


Thanks for all for quick and warm response..... :thankyou:

Haiz.. lend also die..dont lend also die.... :stupid:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139820https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139820Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:03:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 06:59:32 GMT]]>

KSP:
2 things can happen after you lend your friend $


1. He disappear or try to avoid you. End of friendship
2. Tell you he does not have $ to repay and the friendship turn sour from there.

This is too common in real life.
Can I please add a point...
3. Come up with another sob story soon enough to borrow somemore 😛

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139813https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139813Wed, 10 Mar 2010 06:59:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be .... on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 06:55:28 GMT]]>Comparing between


1. Lose $ and then later on lose friend

and

2. Lose friend

… I will choose no. 2, lose 1 thing rather than 2.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139809https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/139809Wed, 10 Mar 2010 06:55:28 GMT