<![CDATA[Dad jailed for hitting son]]>there is an article on the news that a dad was sentenced to 3 months jail for hitting son. he slapped the boy and hit him on his arm.


according to the article, redness was found on him, but doesn’t state anywhere that there was injury.

do you think the jail term is necessary?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/9038/dad-jailed-for-hitting-sonRSS for NodeSun, 26 Apr 2026 06:24:29 GMTTue, 23 Feb 2010 14:55:42 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Thu, 09 Dec 2010 01:13:27 GMT]]>

smurf:
Crazy.



http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Crime/Story/A1Story20101208-251556.html
The man had previously abused the two older children.

What was the woman doing? They are her children, not his!

There is no jail term too brief nor punishment too harsh for people like these.

:x

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/310899https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/310899Thu, 09 Dec 2010 01:13:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 08 Dec 2010 15:02:12 GMT]]>Crazy.



http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Crime/Story/A1Story20101208-251556.html

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/310777https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/310777Wed, 08 Dec 2010 15:02:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:37:29 GMT]]>According to STOMP, the father is very remorseful after the incident and has not been able to work while been investigated.


According to the report, after the father brought the child to the room, he locked it up. the mum tried to open the door but couldn’t (because it is locked).

After a while then he opened the door, and the next day, the mum brought the boy to see doctor.

I don’t think a jail sentence is the key point in this case, but how to prevent such case from happening again?

A jail sentence may or may not deter the father from doing that again, after he is released, he can still do it again if he doesn’t change. So what if the law punished him? he can still do that. but if dun jail him, what are the other ways?

The problem is how to curb his bad temper (which is difficult if it has anything to do with personality).

A better way can be, take the child away from him for a prolong period (3 mths is too short), send him for counselling, curfew him so that he won’t be able to get close to alcohol.

Ultimately in such cases, the victim no matter what, even if the father is being punished, is the child himself.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/132007https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/132007Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:37:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Fri, 26 Feb 2010 07:45:31 GMT]]>If based purely on the article, no where was it mentioned that the child has prior injuries and knowing judicial processes, it takes time, no where does it mention that the father abused the kid again since that incident.


So if basing purely on the article, then I will say counselling and parenting coaching for both mother & father will be more constructive.

If the abuse has happened more then once, then I say jail the mother as well as she is negligent.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/131686https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/131686Fri, 26 Feb 2010 07:45:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Thu, 25 Feb 2010 05:54:21 GMT]]>

:
there is an article on the news that a dad was sentenced to 3 months jail for hitting son. he slapped the boy and hit him on his arm.


according to the article, redness was found on him, but doesn't state anywhere that there was injury.

do you think the jail term is necessary?
My responses have been based on the question posed by the author's first posting.

So my ans has been affirmative and I have provided my justification all along.

So, once again, to each his own.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130528https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130528Thu, 25 Feb 2010 05:54:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Thu, 25 Feb 2010 03:14:16 GMT]]>

autumnbronze:
:thankyou: to those who GET it, after reading the article.



Also, as a fellow experienced but deceptively old sounding forummer mentioned, the child was not being 'disciplined' but abused.

I shall refrain from making anymore comments abt my stand.

To each his own lah .....
Maybe I don't GET it.

I too think its wrong the hit the child up like that too. But aren't we discussing if there are any better ways to teach this guy? So is this the only punishment that he can get. So what if he is back from jail, will he hate his son for making him loose his temper and then this cycle of using violence will go on and on...
blobbi:
Poverty, frustration, depression often accompany these cases. There is no single cure-all fix. My own sense is, try to stop the pain first. The child goes to foster care (since home care is actually dangerous anyway). When the parent/s are able to prove they can take care of the kid (repeated interviews, counseling at MCYS, jail time, getting a stable job, a change in family mix, like grandparents or siblings chip in) after some time (can take months or years), they can have the kid back
We alone can't do all. The parents have to realize what they did is wrong. So counselling etc plays a part in teaching the parents if they are indeed that ignorant.

Just hope that the child didn't suffer anything major and the parents realize that no matter what, the child doesn't warrant this kind of treatment.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130339https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130339Thu, 25 Feb 2010 03:14:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Thu, 25 Feb 2010 02:13:47 GMT]]>

Blobbi:

Autumnbronze, sorry - didn't know there was a controversy going on? My views are a bit extreme because I know of a 3 yr old whose fingers were broken ... I hope I didn't offend anyone and don't worry about offending me!
No controversy lah Blobbi.

I am being extreme too and for me, for this case involving a toddler, there's no 2 ways abt it 😄 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130284https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130284Thu, 25 Feb 2010 02:13:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Thu, 25 Feb 2010 01:25:48 GMT]]>

Blobbi:
Yep, this guy desrves a jolt, either from the rotan or the end of an electric cable a la Skinner. We need to stop this vicious cycle.

Just read my own post - a bit contradictory to say, stop violence with violence.

But with these people, violence is the only language they know. Maybe after that, we can talk sense with these people. But they have to be stopped first.

Autumnbronze, sorry - didn't know there was a controversy going on? My views are a bit extreme because I know of a 3 yr old whose fingers were broken ... I hope I didn't offend anyone and don't worry about offending me!

Poverty, frustration, depression often accompany these cases. There is no single cure-all fix. My own sense is, try to stop the pain first. The child goes to foster care (since home care is actually dangerous anyway). When the parent/s are able to prove they can take care of the kid (repeated interviews, counseling at MCYS, jail time, getting a stable job, a change in family mix, like grandparents or siblings chip in) after some time (can take months or years), they can have the kid back.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130212https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130212Thu, 25 Feb 2010 01:25:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Thu, 25 Feb 2010 00:57:33 GMT]]>:thankyou: to those who GET it, after reading the article.



Also, as a fellow experienced but deceptively old sounding forummer mentioned, the child was not being 'disciplined' but abused.

I shall refrain from making anymore comments abt my stand.

To each his own lah .....

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130190https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130190Thu, 25 Feb 2010 00:57:33 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Thu, 25 Feb 2010 00:45:12 GMT]]>Tree Nymph and Tutormom,


You’re both talking like normal parents. We have our kids, we’re surprised that, wah, so hard to manage them (or harder than we thought). We even lose our tempers, smack them, and no matter how justified we feel, there’s always this tinge of regret and remorse so that we scurry to kiasuparents or our friends to vent and look for other ways to deal more effectively without causing grief. We want them to learn so that the whole process is not repeated. Of course it does get repeated, so we reflect and rethink our strategies …

Not so for these guys. It’s a completely different cycle to what a normal parent thinks. This guy is not interested in bettering the child - he’s interested in himself. He has a low tolerance for getting annoyed or, if he’s upset with something else, he wants a punching bag to let his stress out on. Children in these families are NOT better disciplined. In fact, they’re probably beaten up with very little idea why (what can a yr old boy do to deserve this?). When the child gets older and actually does make a misdemeanour that justifies punishment, the resultant "discipline" can land him in hospital, or he becomes strong enough to fight back. If you learn at a young age that violence is the key to power and surival, there’ll be another vicious cycle repeated in the following generation.

Yep, this guy desrves a jolt, either from the rotan or the end of an electric cable a la Skinner. We need to stop this vicious cycle.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130180https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130180Thu, 25 Feb 2010 00:45:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Thu, 25 Feb 2010 00:08:02 GMT]]>

lovekidsverymuch:
Blobbi:

I didn't read very far back, but my feel is, this guy needs to feel fear to stop. Punitive measures have to be taken. It's harsh but it works.


Even if its 1st time?

I don't think this is his first time. I think it's his first time getting caught. People like that have a history of violence. His first time may have been a lot milder, but this level is easily surpassed cos the kid is defenceless, and it's oh so easy to carry on. That's why the child has to see the doctor. Sooner or later, he'll need hospitalization as the injruries get worse.

This man needs to feel the rotan to condition him to stop.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130158https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130158Thu, 25 Feb 2010 00:08:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:46:02 GMT]]>I can only say that not all people has equal opportunities in life. They may not know the best way to disclipine kids. come to think of it, there’s no best way. one has to apply different methods for different kids though there are some generalization. Maybe they are first time parents, maybe the father should just walk away when he was angry, maybe the mother can bring the kiddo out and calm the kid down, maybe she can call her friends for advise, maybe she can google and search on the web for some ideas, maybe the father can bring the kiddo for a ride in his car to calm him down… but maybe not… they probably do not have this kind of help-lines… So why couldn’t the parents be counselled and taught to care for their kid?


Even though the judge may asks lots of questions and so on, a lot also depends on the lawyers presenting the cases for both sides. Anyway, the judge has already passed the sentence. although i think the sentence maybe a bit harsh, the judge may also want to hand out the harsh sentence to warn parents on this.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130131https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130131Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:46:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:16:40 GMT]]>

Blobbi:
I didn't read very far back, but my feel is, this guy needs to feel fear to stop. Punitive measures have to be taken. It's harsh but it works.
I agree totally. 1 year old is too young to know or understand anything. Even for a 2 year old, one needs lots of patience to deal with them. Hitting a child this young won't yield the desired results. If a child cries, the more you hit him/her to try to stop the crying, the more he/she will cry. :roll: ALL potential parents should be sent for parenting course to learn how to care for their unborn child. Parents are protectors and care givers and if they don't meet the requirements, the child should be moved away from them as far as possible. One solution is to put the child in a foster home until the parents are deemed capable to care for him/her without using unnecessary force. :idea: Who knows, the father will take revenge on this poor child once he's out of jail. :nailbite:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130119https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/130119Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:16:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:27:37 GMT]]>I didn’t read very far back, but my feel is, this guy needs to feel fear to stop. Punitive measures have to be taken. It’s harsh but it works.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129738https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129738Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:27:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:17:31 GMT]]>I suppose the jail term also serve as a warning for others.


There had already been a few kids who were so badly abuse that they lost their young life as a result of adult abuse. 1 year old is all the more vulnerable as their organs are not fully developed yet.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129730https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129730Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:17:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:06:21 GMT]]>

tree nymph:
[quote=\"autumnbronze]

\"The 36-year-old former packer, who cannot be named, had earlier admitted to ill-treating the boy at his home on Feb 18 last year.\"

I cut and pasted this from the article. It seems to me that the man is unemployed.

Would it be possible that he was venting out frustration on the child?? If so, what is there to counsel abt. Its a simple case of right and wrong and he has done the wrong thing.

Spending time in jail is no easy feat. Yes, there's no guarantee that he will not do it again, but at least he is away from the child, the beer and will have time to reflect upon his actions.

Again, can only speculate.

I am playing Devil's Advocate here because my sympathies are with the child ....
Well, the man could have been working as a packer until recently? My sympathies are with the child too and if in fact he was venting out frustration on the child, then the more he should be sent for probation and counselling. And if he is indeed unemployed and the mother is working, then they will still need someone to look after the kid while the mother is at work. Even if the mother is working, how is she going to take such long leave? no pay leave? then eat what?

Its true that the father should not hit a one-year-old child. But I think sometimes we do have to look at the circumstances and the re-percussions to pass any sentence.[/quote][/quote]

Hi tree nymph,

As we can share our views openly here. I stand my ground on mine.

Like I have mentioned, what he did is wrong. There's no mention of him having any kind of mental illness that may have precipitated his act. So its clear cut. I also mentioned earlier that the baby is helpless, prob can't express much but cry ... he/she was defenceless!!

For me counselling is out due to the circumstances and the victim's age and also there is no guarantee that he'll reform. I did say that jail term may not reform him, but he will stay away from the beer and have the time to reflect. Please read my earlier posts.

And also, the child's bruises did not seem to move him at all (based on the fact that there is no mention in the paper) then sorri, no amt counselling can help.

Sorri, do we have to wait for a child to die b4 we come down hard on them?? Btw, that has already happened in another case.

As someone mentioned, judge will consider all circumstances first. I am sure he will find out if the child can be taken care of first. I have witnessed a court case and the judge doesn't just sit and listen and pass judgement, he/she asks quests and believe me, sentencing can take v long too.

As for re-percussions, both the mom and dad should have thought of that before letting the incident happen.

We can't say that it was the heat of the moment, rite??

JMO.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129723https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129723Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:06:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 07:53:39 GMT]]>

autumnbronze:

\"The 36-year-old former packer, who cannot be named, had earlier admitted to ill-treating the boy at his home on Feb 18 last year.\"

I cut and pasted this from the article. It seems to me that the man is unemployed.

Would it be possible that he was venting out frustration on the child?? If so, what is there to counsel abt. Its a simple case of right and wrong and he has done the wrong thing.

Spending time in jail is no easy feat. Yes, there's no guarantee that he will not do it again, but at least he is away from the child, the beer and will have time to reflect upon his actions.

Again, can only speculate.

I am playing Devil's Advocate here because my sympathies are with the child ....
Well, the man could have been working as a packer until recently? My sympathies are with the child too and if in fact he was venting out frustration on the child, then the more he should be sent for probation and counselling. And if he is indeed unemployed and the mother is working, then they will still need someone to look after the kid while the mother is at work. Even if the mother is working, how is she going to take such long leave? no pay leave? then eat what?

Its true that the father should not hit a one-year-old child. But I think sometimes we do have to look at the circumstances and the re-percussions to pass any sentence.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129712https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129712Wed, 24 Feb 2010 07:53:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 07:22:30 GMT]]>

mintcc:
Actually, whether a jail term or conselling would be better for the family will depend on a lot of factors. Perhaps the judge have already consider the circumstances for the case.


Even if the father goes for conselling, there is also no garantee that he would not harm the child again. 😞
It's sad that such fathers exist...if you can't love a young life, and your offspring at that - why be a father??!?! 😐

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129678https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129678Wed, 24 Feb 2010 07:22:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 07:10:40 GMT]]>Actually, whether a jail term or conselling would be better for the family will depend on a lot of factors. Perhaps the judge have already consider the circumstances for the case.


Even if the father goes for conselling, there is also no garantee that he would not harm the child again. 😞

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129653https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129653Wed, 24 Feb 2010 07:10:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 06:40:55 GMT]]>

lovekidsverymuch:
autumnbronze:


I am playing Devil's Advocate here because my sympathies are with the child ....

I guess everyone sympathise with the child but jail term doesnt sound as the solution

Hi,

Just re-edited my piece to ans your question .... 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129624https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129624Wed, 24 Feb 2010 06:40:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 06:37:14 GMT]]>

smurf:
they should think harder to come up with a solution and not simply just send the father to jail. doesn't solve their problem.


dad send to jail, no income, mum and child eat what?

and if the law doesn't punish the dad, what can be done to prevent the dad from doing that again? and there is no guarantee that after he is released from jail, he won't do that again??
\"The 36-year-old former packer, who cannot be named, had earlier admitted to ill-treating the boy at his home on Feb 18 last year.\"

I cut and pasted this from the article. It seems to me that the man is unemployed.

Would it be possible that he was venting out frustration on the child?? If so, what is there to counsel abt. Its a simple case of right and wrong and he has done the wrong thing.

Spending time in jail is no easy feat. Yes, there's no guarantee that he will not do it again, but at least he is away from the child, the beer and will have time to reflect upon his actions.

Again, can only speculate.

I am playing Devil's Advocate here because my sympathies are with the child ....

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129619https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129619Wed, 24 Feb 2010 06:37:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 06:31:44 GMT]]>they should think harder to come up with a solution and not simply just send the father to jail. doesn’t solve their problem.


dad send to jail, no income, mum and child eat what?

and if the law doesn’t punish the dad, what can be done to prevent the dad from doing that again? and there is no guarantee that after he is released from jail, he won’t do that again??

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129614https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129614Wed, 24 Feb 2010 06:31:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 03:41:27 GMT]]>

Funz:
Though I agree that excessive force has been used on the kid but I question the decision to jail the father. Especially if it is as alluded in the article that that was the only incident so far. Would a warning and counselling as well as parenting coaching be better? Jailing the father means the child is without a father figure for that period, the mother has to handle all matters by herself and the father will have a record which will affect his employability. If his employability is affected, he cannot support the family, which leads to stress and bad moods. And who will be the most likely punching bag? Viscious cycle.


Are we heading the way NZ is where a parent can be sued for even laying a finger on a child even if the child misbehaves.
I agree with you. what happens to the mum and kid for the three months when the father is away serving a jail sentence? won't a probation be better plus counselling and parent coaching be better?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129515https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129515Wed, 24 Feb 2010 03:41:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Dad jailed for hitting son on Wed, 24 Feb 2010 03:24:40 GMT]]>

skunk:
autumnbronze:

the father or stepfather caused the death of a 2 yr old girl due to his disciplinary measures.


i think shouldn't use the word \"discipline\" with these cases....it's no longer about disciplining the child, but rather, abusing and venting frustration on the child :x

Children under 5 years old are easy to discipline, just scold harshly, or whack the floor with a roll of newspaper to let them know Daddy is angry, is more than enough to let them know they're doing something bad. Above 5, maybe a whack on the bum with the cane will let them know not to do it again.

Even my baby girl is receptive. When she plays with electric wires, i would yell at her and show an angry face, she would instantly stop and crawl away.

Those cases are obviously abuse and not discipline :x

You are rite, skunk. Thanks for the correction.

Type too fast, never stop to think choice of word 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129494https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/129494Wed, 24 Feb 2010 03:24:40 GMT