My child is blur and careless

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Thu, 05 Jul 2018 11:11:39 GMT

celeste_ng — Thu, 05 Jul 2018 11:11:39 GMT

:rahrah: :rahrah: It's quite normal. I use to be like this! Now, I am doing pretty well. We have to keep on encouraging them. Once they become less careless and do better, they can fly!

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Sun, 27 May 2018 08:54:33 GMT

laughingcat — Sun, 27 May 2018 08:54:33 GMT

@ Sky...with our younger ones, the AL banding is very important leh. To me lah. I told my DC2 cannot slip and cannot be complacent. Now with marks deducted because of carelessness.....I am going to be very strict on checking techniques. Gotta grill DC2 hard. :spank: :pokeeye: :heresmyfish: :lightrod: :rotflmao: So cannot joke joke lah. DC2 chinese papers kena 2 careless mistakes - 笔画错 - loose 2 marks and kena AL2 otherwise it will be AL1! I was like :stompfeet: :stupid: :mad: :rant: :nunchuk: and my DC2 just gave me at my predicament. :faint:

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Sun, 27 May 2018 08:25:45 GMT

sky minecrafter — Sun, 27 May 2018 08:25:45 GMT

@LC. Joking joking - EL 5 points above cohort, HCL 8 points above, MA 5 points above. She likes EL (haizz) so not surprising; weaker in MA hence it means we need to help her practise a bit more. Grades measure growth for us - are we overcoming our challenges or are we wallowing in our weakness.

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Sun, 27 May 2018 07:57:54 GMT

laughingcat — Sun, 27 May 2018 07:57:54 GMT

@sky.....when my DC2 at that age scored that kind of result. We celebrated but at PTM, we gotten a reality check. The teachers told us not to be too happy because majority of the kids are scoring that. I was like :faint: after assessing the cohort statistic performance. Even now at P3 also like that. Will start to see the gap probable in P4. So like what MP said is correct that at P4, you will see the anxiety issue and the \"real performance\" result.

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Sun, 27 May 2018 07:42:10 GMT

sky minecrafter — Sun, 27 May 2018 07:42:10 GMT

@MP. :rotflmao: your brand of humour made me laugh so hard! My P1 received her report book, which was a surprise cos I was only expecting some sort of portfolio file thingie: EL 100%, HCL 94%, MA 93%. :yikes: All subjects above cohort average except MA, only average! Stress! :scared: Just jk...

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Sun, 27 May 2018 07:04:26 GMT

MyPillow — Sun, 27 May 2018 07:04:26 GMT

Lower pri where got any exam anxiety la! P2 papers are simple n easy . if there is , parents need to pause the pace n relook with the child . Most kids start to get nervous fr P4 onwards - cause full papers for all subjects, got to self learn time Mgmt n real exam conditions . Kids also start to get bossy , Kiasu , jealous in upp pri - the classmates can be competitive , mean remarks and cold . That’s where parents need to step in to continue give tlc n personal coaching if possible - working mums are really octopus n stressed up in such cases

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Sat, 26 May 2018 23:55:43 GMT

zac's mum — Sat, 26 May 2018 23:55:43 GMT

slmkhoo:
bluegal6:
My girl school also no CA, straight SA... not sure if she has exam anxiety or not... but she’s still the cheerful self after each paper... hubby said it’s a god gift...

So it's probable that her carelessness is not due to exam anxiety. Identify the cause(s) then you can figure out how to help her change her ways.

Ya my boy is the same way. Born with a cheerful and happy-go-lucky disposition. So no exam anxiety because he is not overly concerned about exams (or checking his work!) The difficulty is how to motivate such kids. I am still learning. Currently it’s a combination of the external reward + lots of (specific) praise - his love language is actually Words of Affirmation rather than Gifts.

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Sat, 26 May 2018 23:28:10 GMT

sharonkhoo — Sat, 26 May 2018 23:28:10 GMT

bluegal6:
My girl school also no CA, straight SA... not sure if she has exam anxiety or not... but she’s still the cheerful self after each paper... hubby said it’s a god gift...

So it's probable that her carelessness is not due to exam anxiety. Identify the cause(s) then you can figure out how to help her change her ways.

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Sat, 26 May 2018 03:25:37 GMT

bluegal6 — Sat, 26 May 2018 03:25:37 GMT

MyPillow:
laughingcat:
bluegal6, jia you. My DC2 is also P3. Still careless at this tender age and to me is normal. Even adults also do make mistake as well. What we can do is to bridge the gap. We can only show them the rope, remind them to check and re-check properly.

My girl has exam anxiety - she does well at home revision Sch papers n normal Sch work . There are no CA in her Sch , and the Exam (Sa) conditions made her stressed up n tend to lose marks on over sight n carelessness . How to cope with anxiety n self inflicted stress . She can be a little timid at times.

My girl school also no CA, straight SA... not sure if she has exam anxiety or not... but she’s still the cheerful self after each paper... hubby said it’s a god gift...

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Sat, 26 May 2018 01:43:53 GMT

sharonkhoo — Sat, 26 May 2018 01:43:53 GMT

I find that it’s meeting expectations, theirs and external, that is the cause of a lot of anxiety. Kids pick up the expectations of their parents, teachers, peers, tutors etc. Some Singapore teachers and parents don’t help by always stressing that they should strive to do better, score higher, that their futures will be ruined if they don’t get into certain schools or streams etc. Such messages may spur some kids to work harder, but some kids find it too stressful. And as other have pointed out, anxiety can make them blank out or be careless.

My older daughter, especially, can’t take stress, and I had to do "damage repair" when she came home from school, upset by all the "encouragement" she got at school. We can’t change what they hear in school, but we can try switch the focus at home. I always try to focus on the child working hard, but not excessively hard, and feeling that they have done justice to themselves. She didn’t do particularly well, but better than we expected (because we kept our expectations realistic), and at least we didn’t have to deal with the emotional and psychological fall-out of too much stress.

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Fri, 25 May 2018 15:49:28 GMT

Estéema — Fri, 25 May 2018 15:49:28 GMT

Exams anxieties can be worrying for parents.

DC had peers who just can't take anxieties no matter how good their performances had been. Just to share 2 examples :-

1. One student was tongue tied when doing P6 Prelim, for both English & Chinese Oral exams. Never had problems with previous years' Oral exams. That was the year when I've encountered Academia & shared this case. Thankful they had the resources (teachers fr diff classes as well as external frds who were publishers & some parents who were writers) to pull together for June programme where they did a holiday prep to encompass Oral exams training & DSA interviews. I found it interesting coz DC told me when doing interviews, they were video recorded & will not be interviewed by their own tutor. They were told they need to practice with diff ppl bcoz in PSLE, u will come face with a totally diff educator & not sch teacher or class teacher. On the whole they had fun & got to see how they perform themselves & get the idea to be natural & not panic.

2. Dear child's other peer was being worked up to a very tensed state since P5, as the mum kept asking all subj teachers to give extra lessons to guide her child. All recess & after school hours were occupied with extra coaching. No fun lah! How yo when not there with frds running ard during recess? This parent's anxiety :stompfeet: was subconsciously transferred to this poor child, who is always a very kind hearted & mild child, easy-going, never quarreling/fighting with others. Then the worst started to happen - the child kept complaining abt headaches, some lessons he'll just walk out fr classroom telling the teacher he's going home! :yikes:

For my frds, I've shared how my high-strung, dashing young chap will not sleep early (a characteristic since a toddler), as if not wanting to miss out on actions outside his bedroom. I've made entire household shut lights by 9pm & pat my toddler till I hear snoring. I stopped doing so when K1.

Then, fr P5 I noticed the tossing & turning and started massaging him lightly (actually I cheated coz I didn't want him to hv the full works then I'll be a slave to him), fr head to toe. He just loves it & will dozed off very quickly. I hardly massage him like what the spa wld do for me, just touched lightly. S'times I'll start massaging the brows & eyes area to help my child to relax, before going on to the head, arms, back & legs. At times, he'll asked for a second round on his back & the sole. Think those must be days his school-bags was exerting pressure. It's not a must nightly routine, but ocassionally when he asked & I weaned him off. Exception is when comes exams, I'll not hesitate to do so.

I found it effective for my child, I thot it's worthwhile for mummies to give this a try. I believe these are acts of love to provide comfort & assure the child however much hard work & stress they faced in school, everything is good when back home parents value & love them to do this extra bit. Love your kids more :snuggles: as it's not easy for some of our kids, as they're given stress level that may be a tad heavy for them if we expect all work & no play or extra love & encouragement to relieve their burdens. Guess, s'times hubby jealous for kids getting so much of my attention.

As kids grow older, they don't ask me for massages anymore tho I enquired if they want them during exams time.

Maybe can try this & let me know if it helps your child.

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Fri, 25 May 2018 14:25:37 GMT

laughingcat — Fri, 25 May 2018 14:25:37 GMT

MP, wait till at P6 another anxiety issue. My DC told me that he has seen his friends having anxiety issue when they sat for SA1 and for the first time in the big hall simulating PSLE exam. Tables are all far apart. Big clock counting down till the end of the exam paper. Kids ended up having mental block. :yikes:

I told my DC if he has anxiety issue, pls let me know. After the PTM, I started to research on how to manage anxiety. I also :scared: :yikes:

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Fri, 25 May 2018 13:51:15 GMT

MyPillow — Fri, 25 May 2018 13:51:15 GMT

laughingcat:
bluegal6, jia you. My DC2 is also P3. Still careless at this tender age and to me is normal. Even adults also do make mistake as well. What we can do is to bridge the gap. We can only show them the rope, remind them to check and re-check properly.

My girl has exam anxiety - she does well at home revision Sch papers n normal Sch work . There are no CA in her Sch , and the Exam (Sa) conditions made her stressed up n tend to lose marks on over sight n carelessness . How to cope with anxiety n self inflicted stress . She can be a little timid at times.

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Fri, 25 May 2018 13:28:12 GMT

laughingcat — Fri, 25 May 2018 13:28:12 GMT

bluegal6, jia you. My DC2 is also P3. Still careless at this tender age and to me is normal. Even adults also do make mistake as well. What we can do is to bridge the gap. We can only show them the rope, remind them to check and re-check properly.

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Fri, 25 May 2018 11:44:33 GMT

bluegal6 — Fri, 25 May 2018 11:44:33 GMT

Thanks mummies for the suggestion, will try it out…

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Fri, 25 May 2018 11:01:47 GMT

Estéema — Fri, 25 May 2018 11:01:47 GMT

zac's mum:
:rotflmao: Esteema, you’re so punny!

That's how I managed him. Find funny ways to catch his attention & make my point. It's tough to use reprimands & scolding when learning with a young child, esp if the child is smart to find creative ways. So, mothers must know the proverbial 'worms' in them to handle them well.

How to expect tutors to play such mind games with the active kids? Takes a whole load of energy. Even if we pay for them to tutor, can expect them to find ways to handle 20 diff kids' response/non-response, tantics, etc. They'll just mark our child's work & send them off to go corrections after explanations. Whether the fellow ustand & copy or copy & not ustand, fees are paid & some parents just wait for results before hopping over to other centres to find better fit. I prefer to use rich materials to revise. Usually find home tutors do not hv materials for me to revise with DC & im totally dependent after paying fees.

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Fri, 25 May 2018 10:38:34 GMT

zac's mum — Fri, 25 May 2018 10:38:34 GMT

:rotflmao: Esteema, you’re so punny!

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Fri, 25 May 2018 10:22:08 GMT

Estéema — Fri, 25 May 2018 10:22:08 GMT

Agree. That's part of getting involved @ know yr child's habits. When DC was younger, he always completes happily & run off for play. I've to sit him back & agree with him to check his work before handing up if he's sure he's done & confident only after checking.

Then after marking, will get DC to do corrections on his own. Usually, he'LL realised why I always call him \"dashing young man\". :slapshead:

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Fri, 25 May 2018 08:53:20 GMT

laughingcat — Fri, 25 May 2018 08:53:20 GMT

A classic problem when parents step in too much. Never Never help your child to point out their mistake / carelessness in their work. You are simply spoon feeding your child. So if in the exam how? Is mummy going to be in the exam to check the child’s error? I did that previously and was chided for doing so. I reaped what I sow. In the end the child cannot check his work.

1. Teach your child to check. Most kids don’t know what to be check. They think that by writing out the "answer" can already.

2. Teach the child how to check like what Sky recommended.

3. You can tell the child to check through ist after completing the work and you double check. But don’t point out the mistake. Just circle the Qs to ask the child to take a look again.

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Fri, 25 May 2018 08:42:00 GMT

sharonkhoo — Fri, 25 May 2018 08:42:00 GMT

bluegal6:
Hello, I just saw slmkhoo earlier reply. I do see she has two major problems which slmkhoo had pointed out, too lazy to check and a don't-care attitude.

Attitude problems won't be helped by more classes or revision. Sometimes, a child will work better if they are given less to do. If they are tired, they may just want to get it done as fast as possible. When my kids were young, I used to set them the minimum amount of work for revision, telling them that if they proved they knew what they were doing, and checked properly, they could stop. If they made mistakes, they would have to redo till they got them right. Eg. I gave my younger daughter 6 maths problem sums each day to do in the weeks before PSLE, and her maths revision usually took her under 45 mins a day (unless the school piled on the work - that, I couldn't help).

But first find out if she knows HOW to check - many kids don't know how to, and just start at the beginning, repeating the same mistake again if they made one in the first place. As sky_m said earlier, they need to check against the original question, and also should know how to check backwards (for Maths) and look out for their own most common errors (for all subjects).

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Fri, 25 May 2018 08:37:14 GMT

zac's mum — Fri, 25 May 2018 08:37:14 GMT

bluegal6:
Hello, I just saw slmkhoo earlier reply. I do see she has two major problems which slmkhoo had pointed out, too lazy to check and a don't-care attitude.

For such a case (if you have already verified she *does* have the skills and knowhow to check), you may need to incentivize, dangle a carrot.

My boy also had the couldn’t be bothered to check. Just wanted to rush thru everything and refused to check. I knew that if he checked, he could spot his mistakes easily & score perfect score for maths. So I dangled a carrot. If you check carefully and get full marks, I will...(fill in the blanks with whatever reward she really wants) I dangled smaller carrots for the mock tests in the assessment books, and a bigger carrot for the actual exam. Voila, his stubborness in refusing to check became stubborness in checking every detail.

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Fri, 25 May 2018 08:17:22 GMT

bluegal6 — Fri, 25 May 2018 08:17:22 GMT

Hello, I just saw slmkhoo earlier reply. I do see she has two major problems which slmkhoo had pointed out, too lazy to check and a don’t-care attitude.

Reply to My child is blur and careless on Fri, 25 May 2018 07:50:51 GMT

sky minecrafter — Fri, 25 May 2018 07:50:51 GMT

Hello bluegal, I'd agree with slmkhoo & fellow forummers... Determine the root cause before a viable solution can be developed for each scenario.

An illustration, when my P1 does a MA problem sum, she'd excitedly decipher the question mentally then writes down a MA equation, which could turn out to be wrong. If the question says there are a total of 11, & you need to take away 5, the answer has to be 11-5=Answer. She tends to do something like 11-6=5 & wonder why that MA equation is marked wrong. What I then did for her is to make her circle the numbers 11 & 5 in the question, telling her that she needs to focus on what is given. She has since understood & there is no more such \"blur\"ness. Annotating questions (a no doubt troublesome skill) can help decrease careless mistakes.