2ppaamm:

While I am waiting for my Christmas fruit cake to bake, I thought I'd drop a note here.


This is so strange... there are so many false assumptions here that were made into facts and then carried on by one member after another. Yet, when I appear here and friendly enough so that you can clarify your misconceptions and imaginations, nobody did. So much so that it is funny.

Now, since I am a much older mother, having brought up 4 grown up kids, I have a little note for some of the parents here. I have honestly met really great parents here. In fact, in my darkest moments when my son Sunshine Boy was going through school, and nobody wanted him in the school and I had nobody to turn to, I remember 2 members here who referred me to professionals. And they walked me through those moments. :love:

It is because of this that I continue to support this site.

However, there are many parents here I feel are quite toxic in their expressions and thoughts. And I honestly don't care about this as much, but think about your own children. How do you bring up great kids, when you have that kind of mentality: that people always have ulterior motives.

That this other child is great because his mother did his homework (??? you made a fool out of the institution!) :yikes: , that they must have no holidays or good time because you did not see evidence of it (??? must invite you, is it? :slapshead: ), that they must be locked up and do only work (??? must come to my house to check, is it? :frustrated: ) that they have no life (??? must hang out with you is it? :pokeeye: ), and she is all out to make money (??? I can make a lot more using other methods, my dear :clubmyself: ), or, they can only be great because they have money (??? this one.... I feel sad for you it is like saying, my kid is great because we have no money, the other kid is great because he has money, so my kid is greater, no? ), or, I can never give my children the best because I have no money (??? ... again, I feel sad for you :nailbite: and then think that this is a meritocracy in the same breath... make sense meh?), or she is all out to bash the system (??? I only stated facts, and didn't say one opinion about the system! :scratchhead: ) and even link me to some of my ex-colleagues companies which I am no part of (??? this one very funny, my colleague will get offended (plus he is angmo male, I am Chinese female! :siao: ) , and to be able to get a degree from the university must be because the university has no rigor (??? those of you who say these unis have no rigor should really ask the government to stop recognizing these universities :roll: ), and lagi funny this one: a uni can allow a mother to do his work and get a degree (??? :nunchuk: ), no matter how hard I try, I don't look like a boy on the ID card to take exams leh... you go and try all these and show me lor. And then, my son has a digital media degree or that digital media is same as computer science??? How come I don't know he has that degree and aiyo, those two fields are two different things! :? and then choose not to do honours year and do masters instead also kena criticized... (??? - you are university academic counselor meh? I thought I was the one who was a university academic counselor, if you don't know ask me! I have helped hundreds of university students choose their courses, not bash me lah!). :heresmyfish:

Telling the truth that a child is asked to sit in the principal office and not allowed to attend class is called bashing the system :censored: but saying that a 100+ year old respected university is a lousy degree is not bashing anything meh? :whut: Wah... interesting double standards.

Gosh! Wah lau eh. Don't find it really ridiculous meh? Funny thing is, when I am here, nobody bothers to clarify.

I think, it is important that we teach our kids that everybody is different, and every child has his own gifts and talents. Our aim is not to ensure our kid is better than other kids! Our job as a mother or parent is to ensure that we find the gifts and talents, and then bring the best out of our kids so that they reach their potential. Some things work for other kids, and they may not work for ours. We must show our children that, no matter what gifts they have, even if the rest of the world does not believe in them, we should.

And, what kind of attitude do we show, if we constantly try to find out about others, gossip about them and try to be cynical? Then, you will raise cynical children. It is really ok to raise cynical people and be cynical. But on facts, not on speculation. If we become cynical based on imagination, then we make a fool out of ourselves.

In raising our children, it really doesn't matter what schools they go to. I know it is kind of funny to say this in a forum called Kiasu parents. But honestly, it doesn't matter. Whether it is RI or some neighbourhood schools, it makes very little difference. I have taught students who graduated from RI, from Polys and from other universities when they join my graduate programs. I know what they are like. So it really doesn't matter, at least for the first or bachelor degree, to get it from an OZ or US university.

I am not against people being kiasu and want the best for their kids. In fact, I think to large extent, it is a good trait. But to bad mouth people without proof, imagine other children to have problems you can only imagine, or to predict that other kids cannot survive in a working world based on your assumptions is bad-hearted. Really, and to have to hide behind a pseudo name to do that is simply pathetic. There is such a thing called retribution.

A website like this is meant to help those who are in need and guide each other, not to bash others.

Ok. I am going to stop here (I can write forever). Focus on your child and remember your children will emulate your actions, your thoughts and your character, there is no better model than your good self. If you keep thinking that other children must be 'something wrong' because they are different from yours. How sad is that?

Take care of you. Take care of your children.

Merry Christmas!!! :imcool: :siam: