rainbow_icecream\" post_id=\"1948286\" time=\"1574491622\" user_id=\"182457:

Thanks for all your wise words, please keep the comments coming. It'll definitely help in helping my kid face such situations. After all, this won't be the last time she will have to deal with such situations.

hb\" post_id=\"1949964\" time=\"1574827806\" user_id=\"179788:

I don't have advice but I feel like this is in my future - my kid is a year younger and already comes home with friend drama (also involving off-and-on BFFs...what is it about girls and BFFs??). I listen to her but do not otherwise do or say anything about it; I hope this is the right approach, but who knows?

peasants\" post_id=\"1948213\" time=\"1574479325\" user_id=\"75885:

Shek\" post_id=\"1948155\" time=\"1574464677\" user_id=\"180772:

[quote=peasants post_id=1948035 time=1574413808 user_id=75885]I would say any form of martial arts. One which could be practising at home leading to the next lesson and grading. More importantly, it build up both strength and mental to overcome feeling of being left out, by being more independent. Friends, classmates, pets, they just come and go.

I agree with what you have said. Nothing lasts forever and that is a good lesson our children should learn at a very young age. What is more important is to develop their coping mechanism so that when they get old they would not be surprised and they can overcome the challenges the would be facing.

zac's mum\" post_id=\"1948167\" time=\"1574467108\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=1948167 time=1574467108 user_id=53606]

rainbow_icecream\" post_id=\"1947984\" time=\"1574409228\" user_id=\"182457:

My 5 year old daughter used to close to 2 other girls in school but is no longer so. These 2 girls get along better and will choose each other when pairing up. Also, they do private play dates outside of school. Obviously, they very much prefer each other's company than to my daughter's. So much so that when my daughter asked if they can pair up next time, they will agree but not do it. Sometimes, they even tell her that she can't join them.

This has affected her and she no longer looks forward to school. She tells me that she is sad too. There's other classmates who like to play with her in school but she prefers these 2 because of similar interests in the kind of things to play. She also prefers to play with girls rather than boys and have the notion that she has to have \"best friends\". There a many more boys in her class than girls so this doesn't help.

I have advised her to try playing with others so that she may discover other fun things to play in the process. I have also arranged for play dates with these 2 girls and some other children before but now I am thinking if it's better to just exclude them and invite others so my child can have the opportunity to foster relationships with other children.

This has been ongoing for a few months and of course it saddens me to see her this way. Please advise how should I manage this tricky situation.

This is the best solution right now.

At age 5, your girl is still unable to understand your explanation of “try playing with others” without a concrete practical example. You can facilitate this (for now) by arranging the play date without those 2 distractors. Then when she is comfortable playing with some other girl classmates, she will have some friends in school to play with, rather than harping on her own feelings of the 2 leaving her out. She is probably led by what she *sees* right now. Very concrete stage.

Later, when she is more mature, then u can talk to her more about friendships. She probably needs to learn at some point, that her “preference” for playing with some people more than others...is something that happens in schools, workplaces, society, everywhere there are people, actually. While we should all try to be inclusive, ultimately there are preferences. It doesn’t feel good to be on the receiving end. So find ways to overcome it. U can’t force people to like you. Making new friends is one way. Being happy & secure playing alone is also another way.

Find out where she got the notion that she has to have “best friends”. This may have been perpetuated by the girl clique in school. Honestly, I heard many all-girls primary schools & all-girls secondary schools have this b*tchy culture. Dunno where the girls learn to tell each other, maybe even their yesterday BFF: “I don’t want to go recess with you. Because I don’t like your face!” If she can’t accept this then look at sending her to a co-ed Primary.[/quote]

Shek\" post_id=\"1948155\" time=\"1574464677\" user_id=\"180772:

peasants\" post_id=\"1948035\" time=\"1574413808\" user_id=\"75885:

I would say any form of martial arts. One which could be practising at home leading to the next lesson and grading. More importantly, it build up both strength and mental to overcome feeling of being left out, by being more independent. Friends, classmates, pets, they just come and go.

I agree with what you have said. Nothing lasts forever and that is a good lesson our children should learn at a very young age. What is more important is to develop their coping mechanism so that when they get old they would not be surprised and they can overcome the challenges the would be facing.

rainbow_icecream\" post_id=\"1947984\" time=\"1574409228\" user_id=\"182457:

My 5 year old daughter used to close to 2 other girls in school but is no longer so. These 2 girls get along better and will choose each other when pairing up. Also, they do private play dates outside of school. Obviously, they very much prefer each other's company than to my daughter's. So much so that when my daughter asked if they can pair up next time, they will agree but not do it. Sometimes, they even tell her that she can't join them.

This has affected her and she no longer looks forward to school. She tells me that she is sad too. There's other classmates who like to play with her in school but she prefers these 2 because of similar interests in the kind of things to play. She also prefers to play with girls rather than boys and have the notion that she has to have \"best friends\". There a many more boys in her class than girls so this doesn't help.

I have advised her to try playing with others so that she may discover other fun things to play in the process. I have also arranged for play dates with these 2 girls and some other children before but now I am thinking if it's better to just exclude them and invite others so my child can have the opportunity to foster relationships with other children.

This has been ongoing for a few months and of course it saddens me to see her this way. Please advise how should I manage this tricky situation.

peasants\" post_id=\"1948035\" time=\"1574413808\" user_id=\"75885:

I would say any form of martial arts. One which could be practising at home leading to the next lesson and grading. More importantly, it build up both strength and mental to overcome feeling of being left out, by being more independent. Friends, classmates, pets, they just come and go.