Feeling unhappy for my son

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Mon, 30 Nov 2020 03:42:55 GMT

peasants — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 03:42:55 GMT

There are those who aced and those who falls from grace. Doesn't matter which school.

So please press the reset button for yourself and your kid.

working_mom\" post_id=\"2005865\" time=\"1606705778\" user_id=\"22227:
Thank you all for your encouraging comments. Although PSLE doesn’t define the university admissions. A good secondary school and JC does give the kids a headstart for the top uni courses. My son’s math tutor told us that Kids in top schools are given tough Math and Science papers that prepares them for the OLevels and Alevels. Unfortunately our kids have lost it in that aspect despite putting in the effort. The next few years are going to be a struggle for them and we are not financially well off to consider sending them abroad. Although I am putting a bravefront for my son, I see the future will be a struggle for him and he cannot afford to slip up.

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Mon, 30 Nov 2020 03:40:00 GMT

Imp75 — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 03:40:00 GMT

working_mom\" post_id=\"2005865\" time=\"1606705778\" user_id=\"22227:

Thank you all for your encouraging comments. Although PSLE doesn’t define the university admissions. A good secondary school and JC does give the kids a headstart for the top uni courses. My son’s math tutor told us that Kids in top schools are given tough Math and Science papers that prepares them for the OLevels and Alevels. Unfortunately our kids have lost it in that aspect despite putting in the effort. The next few years are going to be a struggle for them and we are not financially well off to consider sending them abroad. Although I am putting a bravefront for my son, I see the future will be a struggle for him and he cannot afford to slip up.

I don't think you need to read too much into what others say. There are many O students entering top IPJC with perfect scores in O level coming from a neighbourhood sec school. Besides Med and Law and Computing which are ultra competitive, there are still many desired courses in local uni that kids can aim for...All is not lost yet.

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Mon, 30 Nov 2020 03:09:38 GMT

working_mom — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 03:09:38 GMT

Thank you all for your encouraging comments. Although PSLE doesn’t define the university admissions. A good secondary school and JC does give the kids a headstart for the top uni courses. My son’s math tutor told us that Kids in top schools are given tough Math and Science papers that prepares them for the OLevels and Alevels. Unfortunately our kids have lost it in that aspect despite putting in the effort. The next few years are going to be a struggle for them and we are not financially well off to consider sending them abroad. Although I am putting a bravefront for my son, I see the future will be a struggle for him and he cannot afford to slip up.

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Mon, 30 Nov 2020 03:03:32 GMT

doodbug — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 03:03:32 GMT

press on! he may even attend a top JC

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Mon, 30 Nov 2020 02:55:03 GMT

MrCool — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 02:55:03 GMT

Cool nurse\" post_id=\"2005836\" time=\"1606701897\" user_id=\"185329:[quote=\"Cool nurse\" post_id=2005836 time=1606701897 user_id=185329]
MrCool\" post_id=\"2005833\" time=\"1606700680\" user_id=\"187777:
Hi MrCool, just correcting this because many other parents will be reading this too. To go into medicine or law, or even any course, they don't care about your PSLE score. It will not even matter next year, no one is going to care. Everyone will start on a clean slate. So pls don't dwell on this, and work towards achieving flying colors in A-levels! Jia you!!! :rahrah:

Thanks for giving some sort of hope, which is more essential for parents whose kids lost their PSLE and aiming to catchup in O-level.

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Mon, 30 Nov 2020 02:22:37 GMT

doodbug — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 02:22:37 GMT

PSLE is a placement exam for Secondary Schools - that’s what it is. It does determine where one will be for the next 4 or 6 years, but it doesn’t determine any more. It should not limit one’s potential.

Local and overseas universities do not look at PSLE scores.

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Mon, 30 Nov 2020 02:20:41 GMT

floppy — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 02:20:41 GMT

Cool nurse\" post_id=\"2005836\" time=\"1606701897\" user_id=\"185329:[quote=\"Cool nurse\" post_id=2005836 time=1606701897 user_id=185329]
MrCool\" post_id=\"2005833\" time=\"1606700680\" user_id=\"187777:
Hi MrCool, just correcting this because many other parents will be reading this too. To go into medicine or law, or even any course, they don't care about your PSLE score. It will not even matter next year, no one is going to care. Everyone will start on a clean slate. So pls don't dwell on this, and work towards achieving flying colors in A-levels! Jia you!!! :rahrah:

Also, to add... because there were so many As students in some of these faculties. They are no longer looking for just book smarts students. They are looking for something more.

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Mon, 30 Nov 2020 02:04:57 GMT

Cool nurse — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 02:04:57 GMT

MrCool\" post_id=\"2005833\" time=\"1606700680\" user_id=\"187777:

Hi working_mom and A Cool Person! my DS also a bitter moment with PSLE results, where he was confident that he did well in Math. He got 247, which is not too bad personally, but not good enough for IP. He was dreaming for IP program!! Now he has to start everything from scratch. Like your son, his self-confidence is shattered, as he put tremendous efforts (not only in P6, since from P3 or earlier). So, 6 years of hardwork put DS into shit, which he cannot control. My concern is not about catching up in Olevel or later, but if he is aiming for a high professional degrees such as medicine or law. I understand that for those degrees shortlisting processes, they always start with PSLE score (I guess) to assess. I read somewhere that many times they consider minimum T-Score of 250 (not confirmed though). I feel worried that SG education system would send him to ditch if he is not in top 10%. His score would carry over until he completes his graduation (or even until he gets his first job). Eventhough MOE gives examples of N-Level students getting medicine or law, but how many such cases? Are they considerable? Sometimes life is crazy!! Anyway, we need to get out of it... let us wish them good luck!!

Hi MrCool, just correcting this because many other parents will be reading this too. To go into medicine or law, or even any course, they don't care about your PSLE score. It will not even matter next year, no one is going to care. Everyone will start on a clean slate. So pls don't dwell on this, and work towards achieving flying colors in A-levels! Jia you!!! :rahrah:

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Mon, 30 Nov 2020 01:44:40 GMT

MrCool — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 01:44:40 GMT

Hi working_mom and A Cool Person! my DS also a bitter moment with PSLE results, where he was confident that he did well in Math. He got 247, which is not too bad personally, but not good enough for IP. He was dreaming for IP program!! Now he has to start everything from scratch. Like your son, his self-confidence is shattered, as he put tremendous efforts (not only in P6, since from P3 or earlier). So, 6 years of hardwork put DS into shit, which he cannot control. My concern is not about catching up in Olevel or later, but if he is aiming for a high professional degrees such as medicine or law. I understand that for those degrees shortlisting processes, they always start with PSLE score (I guess) to assess. I read somewhere that many times they consider minimum T-Score of 250 (not confirmed though). I feel worried that SG education system would send him to ditch if he is not in top 10%. His score would carry over until he completes his graduation (or even until he gets his first job). Eventhough MOE gives examples of N-Level students getting medicine or law, but how many such cases? Are they considerable? Sometimes life is crazy!! Anyway, we need to get out of it… let us wish them good luck!!

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Fri, 27 Nov 2020 05:08:36 GMT

Cool nurse — Fri, 27 Nov 2020 05:08:36 GMT

Hi working_mom and A Cool Person! I understand your situation right now. Your children had been doing well up to prelims and they are disappointed with the score they have now. Right now, to so many P6 children, PSLE might seem like the world to them and when they don’t do well, they feel like their world is crashing down. But we as parents and adults who have finished PSLE and realized that this 3-digit number does not make any difference to you as a person have to teach them that these are the times when they need to bounce back and continue working hard. A positive side of this is that they can be the ‘big fish in the small pond’. So, please don’t despair. Hard work always pays. This year I feel there are less high scorers than last year. PLZ choose schools carefully and start on a clean slate next year because this 3-digit number will not matter from next year on wards. Jia you!

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Fri, 27 Nov 2020 04:54:26 GMT

obasanC — Fri, 27 Nov 2020 04:54:26 GMT

working mom & a cool person - I totally feel you as I’m in the same situation. Its not about our expectation, and we do understand grade is not everything. Its not about appealing as it probably wont change anything.

When the child has been doing well throughout the years, even up to prelim, this certainly came as a shock to them, and of coz disappointment. I see many of his cohorts in the same situation, as well as those high achievers in HIS SCHOOL. Most of his classmates are in despair. My son is not even keen to look for his secondary schools now coz he feels that it makes no difference where ever he goes.
yes, of coz we as parents will and are encouraging them with a brave front despite feeling the pain with them.
so both mommies - pls press on. Hope our children will continue to shine where ever they will be. Jia you!

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Fri, 27 Nov 2020 01:58:13 GMT

xjysg — Fri, 27 Nov 2020 01:58:13 GMT

Hugs to working_mom and A cool person. Just sharing my observation; my boy is in J1 this year and I witness some of the kids his age that went through PSLE and then O levels. There were a few who under-performed (so-called) during PSLE and went to neighbourhood schools. They topped these schools. I always feel that one either choose to be a small fish in the ocean or big fish in the big pond. These few being the big fishes are given opportunities after opportunities in their schools; my own boy sometimes envy them for having much more opportunities than what he has. And they scored during O level and landed in their dream schools 4 years later.

If your child is indeed knowledgeable/intelligent/hardworking/deserving, the time will come. It goes either way. I have seen kids who go to "elite" schools and not do well there … complacent/distracted/playful, reasons that a parent of a teenager would find it hard to pinpoint and harder to manage.
So learn from this experience. PSLE is just a milestone, not the end. Now looking back, my children are telling me PSLE is easy as compared to what’s ahead. They are barely halfway there (to higher level of education) … so press on and stay positive. Stay strong!

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Thu, 26 Nov 2020 07:01:58 GMT

zeemimi — Thu, 26 Nov 2020 07:01:58 GMT

It’s a tough period for child and parents when the child did not perform to his expectations.

I feel that younger children are more resilient and can pick up the pieces after some setback, compared to older teens. So give them lots of support during this time. And they will get over it soon.
We always tell our kids although results are important to them, the process is more important to us parents, that they had worked hard and tried their best.
As a parent, I’ve learnt to be thankful when my children don’t get As or top the class. Because it helps them to realise they can be top some times in some things, they can never be top all the time in every thing. And it’s ok.
It was hard having a child who always topped the sch and never got a B in her life. And when a B came along, it was as if her whole world has collapsed.
So it’s okay that they didn’t do as well as they had wanted this psle. There are many other opportunities after psle.

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Wed, 25 Nov 2020 19:24:48 GMT

hazeline — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 19:24:48 GMT

working_mom\" post_id=\"2003995\" time=\"1606299528\" user_id=\"22227:

Giving you and your son virtual hugs ....What a terrible situation for our kids! He was so confident after his MT paper and his tutor even expected him to get either High A or an A* based on his feedback so we were shocked that he scored B in his MT. I really don't know which component he lost because we cross verified his answers with his tutor and she mentioned that they were correct. The despair of not knowing where it went wrong is perhaps the worst feeling.

I could feel your pain. Could it be essay write off-topic? Or oral exam didn't answer well? These are the 2 components that are harder to cross verify answers.

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Wed, 25 Nov 2020 18:44:46 GMT

Estéema — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 18:44:46 GMT

working_mom\" post_id=\"2003955\" time=\"1606296255\" user_id=\"22227:

My son is an extremely knowledgeable child and he was constantly doing well in school and was scoring over 95 in top school papers so we were shocked by his PSLE results today. He only scored 236 with B in MT. Although we supported him emotionally for his marks, my heart breaks everytime I see him because he worked so hard and now he thinks he is not as intelligent as he thought he was. I am in tears as I write this post. Kids whom he outperformed in school were called for scoring above 250. His confidence is shaken and I am worried that he will give up working hard in studies as he thinks hard work didn’t pay and although I put a brave front when he is around, I have been crying as well and feel so bad that such an intelligent child has to go through so much pain at this age. How do I overcome this and how do I help my son overcome this and do well in Secondary?

@working_mom
I feel your angst & pain. PSLE is one of many milestones for our children. There’ll be many more hurdles to overcome & mountains to climb. How we handle our children’s journey & our response / their perception of how you value them & their place in society will shape their future.

Tempted as we are to feel the disappointments, pain & indignant, we shld teach our kids to get up from where they slip on their own but with your approval that every ‘failure’ makes them stronger in the next race. As parents, we need to be emotionally strong so they can emulate that emotions (esp for boys). We teach them to allow for human emotions & it’s OK to feel down abit but make plans to move on.

Based on yr description, I think your child had done well. Doing well can be relative in our meritocratic society. There’s always room for learning for improvement. He had put in the effort “ he worked so hard “ and that is important. The outcome, as always in life, can s’times differ fr our expectations, tutor’s expectations, teacher’s expectations & most importantly - parents’ expectations. That’s alot for a 12-year-old to shoulder! I’ve always refrained fr ‘counting my chickens before they’re hatched’, hence will nvr articulate expected As or A* but will encourage them to do their best - in writing a suitable answer, managing time during exams, checking work before handing up. These are impt skills in the process of learning too.

Now, you’ve gotta pull yourselves & yr boy together to face the situation bravely. This ‘negative’ experience can be a process to equip yr child to acquire resilience in critical situations just as we face difficult situations that require us to think in our feet for next-step solutions when we can’t afford to be frozen by emotions welling up within us.

Scoring 3As and a B is not too bad nor will it be the end. I’ve had friends kids who were disappointed with their scores, but resilience was their first step towards DETERMINATION to better themselves. I was happy to cheer on each time I hear of students moving into DS’s school in Year 1, Year 2 and for those boys (that included parents who were lecturers & doctors pushing their hopes & kids’ on all the time) who eventually made it fr Express stream to IP/IB. These young children are constantly under pressure to ‘improve’, not a bad thing, but for different kids can either be self-strengthening or destroy them.

It’s sad to hear of your young chap not getting out of room or hv appetite for his usual meals. It is very damaging in all fronts. Most damaging IMHO is his emotions at this tender age. Don’t continue to wail with him. I wld certainly not offer the carrot of a new hp at a most inappropriate time. Instead, encourage him that yr offer still stands whenever he make the next improvement, at a new target he shld set himself to achieve. Don’t set yr target on him. And yea, talk thro it with him, guiding him towards a more realistic one if u know it’s gonna be an unrealistic goal.

As adults & as parents, we need to show that sensible side to ride abv a ‘calamity’ and not cause our child to feel like a failure coz they disappointed US. Ask him if he’s satisfied with his situation. Ask him what does he want to do to achieve his personal goal (not our goals or the ‘best’ schools entry score). Tell him it is possible to rejoin his buddies but tell him he might discover ano more interesting alternative to “success”.

My children had their fair share of disappointments, they’re also rather sensitive blokes but every setback, we help them thro an objective thought process. PSLE score does not define a person, and many wld hv overlooked this part of their lives when there’ll be other quantifiable & non-quantifiable ‘qualifications’ society values as our kids step into society as new working adults.

I sensed your child is now struggling with emotions. My suggestion is to place importance in nurturing a strong rebound fr his ‘depressive’ moods. At tween/teen stage, they want to know how to navigate themselves vis-a-vis peers & teachers/parents. They want the affirmation of yr love & support as parents so they can find renewed strength & a new motivation to charge themselves. It is the most sensitive time & you’re privileged to use this stage as a learning point.

OT - I’ve seen some kids who had been pumped every subjects with Tuition (s’times 3 for just one subj mostly MT) and are always the top scorer in class/school. When failure happened at a later stage, they’re not able to accept failure. Many either chose to take short-cuts or blame everything & everybody else & the world owes them & denied them the success they perceived they ‘ought to & deserve to gain’.

Every decision that u guide yr son to make will hv a consequence & impact for the future. Do encourage your son to broaden his ability to handle moving on to Sec Sch well & look fwd to a new challenge of reading 8 subjects & new things to add to his “knowleagble” self. Who knows, once he find his niche, he’ll be your pride & joy as you see him emerge stronger. Take care of his tender emotions. Hope he’s able to tap on this learning opportunity to better himself with intrinsic skills & abilities.

To me, it’s pointless to chase for review of his score. MOE had set up a system for PSLE marking & checking. They’re rarely off mark. Rather spend more constructive time & energy to help yr son decide what next move will help him get back on track. Just my 2 ‘long’ cents sharing off the top of my head.

https://postimg.cc/PPYtDQKk

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Wed, 25 Nov 2020 12:27:28 GMT

grapevine — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 12:27:28 GMT

Don’t lose heart. Education is a marathon and PSLE is only one hurdle. If your child is hardworking , encourage him to persevere and let him know you are proud of his achievements.

It could be a case of an error in shading OES or a mistake he was not aware of, but don’t let it bring his aspirations down.
If he does well in sec 1 or 2 - you can still appeal for a transfer to the school of his choice.
Most importantly don’t let your child give up. Be there to support him emotionally.

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Wed, 25 Nov 2020 12:07:28 GMT

MrsKiasu — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 12:07:28 GMT

If kids feel like crying just let them cry…to them it is their whole world. Parents may feel very sad seeing them… but parents, after a very short while (after allowing yourself to feel sad/disappointed etc) got to know that the ‘world’ is more than the psle… try to walk the child out from it…

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Wed, 25 Nov 2020 11:53:54 GMT

working_mom — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 11:53:54 GMT

Thanks, In this case, I don’t see any point in appealing.

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Wed, 25 Nov 2020 11:08:33 GMT

Zappy — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 11:08:33 GMT

floppy\" post_id=\"2004009\" time=\"1606301478\" user_id=\"97579:

There is no SEAB examiner to explain to you anything. You get a slip of paper that says all marks tally or not, to that effect.

I would suggest just stick to how it works rather than how you wish it worked.

Yep, that's exactly right. There is nobody to explain anything to you.

Here's how it works:
https://www.ifaq.gov.sg/seab/apps/fcd_faqmain.aspx?qst=hRhkP9BzcBImsx2TBbssMsxu7lqt6UJK70a1wAEVmyfdSZlp3kC3qEU1uwdD2zxBC8h26bwjs%2FIwvamUXpJQllIbGr3zfx%2Fg6R5G3kQwdaBqrmc6VVtGVreSd34s3fzQffAc3pLh5P0kZUHSR8U882cMKpyDOkutRs8WWnkwDfKJm2HarZST7HyOHgFjsjF0gu0GITQvxo4FcsAQZyKl%2FbZPo%2FgY3XAvxDpudJBJGc4%3D#TOPIC_6319

Specifically for that topic: What does an appeal for a review of the PSLE results entail?

If you feel that your results does not accurately reflect your ability in your subjects, you may appeal for a review of results through your school, by the closing date of your examination year. To ensure that the results are accurate and fair, each appeal case will go through a rigorous review process that usually takes about two weeks after the submission deadline. As part of the process, a review of the marking and a clerical re-check of the awarded marks for all papers of the subject(s) that is being reviewed, takes place. There will be an appeal fee for each subject that is reviewed. The outcome of the appeal will be released through your school. No report of the review will be provided. In the event of a successful appeal, we will refund the appeal fees and re-issue a result slip and certificate that reflects the adjusted results for the subject(s) that an appeal was submitted for. We would like to emphasise that there are rigorous quality control processes and multiple independent checks put in place to ensure the accuracy of the results when they are first released. As such, the accuracy of results has been confirmed for a vast majority of the appeals, so a change in results after an appeal is very rare.

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Wed, 25 Nov 2020 10:51:18 GMT

floppy — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 10:51:18 GMT

phtthp\" post_id=\"2004005\" time=\"1606301017\" user_id=\"35251:

Hi working mom,

in that case, may I suggest you proceed to pay SEAB the fee to review his Mother tongue,

Because I think your son need a closure to end his pain. Otherwise, this thing will haunt both of u even as he forward into his secondary school education

You pay,
because both of u need the peace of mind, to understand which Chinese component is the culprit that led to his B grade. Once the SEAB examiner explained to him in detail, only then he know the truth where exactly he had gone wrong and the truth will set him free and he will let go the pain, like let go a kite that is flying in the sky

This will give him the strength, to walk forward into his secondary journey, able to meet Chinese one more time, face to face. Otherwise, this thing, constantly at the back of his mind, can come and haunt him whenever he play back the past video record, in his mind.

So, pay,
to get the peace of mind which both of u need. Let the SEAB examiner marker explain to you, which part had gone wrong - is it zuowen Paper 1,
oral part 3 or
Listening Comprehension paper 4 or
li jie wen da paper 2

Or

combination of a few components ?

There is no SEAB examiner to explain to you anything. You get a slip of paper that says all marks tally or not, to that effect.

I would suggest just stick to how it works rather than how you wish it worked.

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Wed, 25 Nov 2020 10:48:27 GMT

working_mom — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 10:48:27 GMT

Thank you but can they lower the marks after review?

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Wed, 25 Nov 2020 10:43:37 GMT

phtthp — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 10:43:37 GMT

Hi working mom,

in that case, may I suggest you proceed to pay SEAB the fee to review his Mother tongue,

Because I think your son need a closure to end his pain. Otherwise, this thing will haunt both of u even as he forward into his secondary school education

You pay,
because both of u need the peace of mind, to understand which Chinese component is the culprit that led to his B grade. Once the SEAB examiner explained to him in detail, only then he know the truth where exactly he had gone wrong and the truth will set him free and he will let go the pain, like let go a kite that is flying in the sky

This will give him the strength, to walk forward into his secondary journey, able to meet Chinese one more time, face to face. Otherwise, this thing, constantly at the back of his mind, can come and haunt him whenever he play back the past video record, in his mind.

So, pay,
to get the peace of mind which both of u need. Let the SEAB examiner marker explain to you, which part had gone wrong - is it zuowen Paper 1,
oral part 3 or
Listening Comprehension paper 4 or
li jie wen da paper 2

Or

combination of a few components ?

Reply to Feeling unhappy for my son on Wed, 25 Nov 2020 10:18:48 GMT

working_mom — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 10:18:48 GMT

Giving you and your son virtual hugs ....What a terrible situation for our kids! He was so confident after his MT paper and his tutor even expected him to get either High A or an A* based on his feedback so we were shocked that he scored B in his MT. I really don't know which component he lost because we cross verified his answers with his tutor and she mentioned that they were correct. The despair of not knowing where it went wrong is perhaps the worst feeling.