How to improve popularity?

[sleepy]

Oops, perhaps the word 'popular' is misleading. I don't mean becoming 校花 kind of popularity.


Referring to how to be more well-liked by classmates, how to improve 人气 with classmates, how to build friendship... along this line

Thanks for sharing

[mrswongtuition]

Try reading \"Best of Friends - How to help your child make friends with confidence\" by Hilary Pereira. Good book explaining how kids think/feel and how parents can help (comes with examples and numerous suggestion). Also highlights how to be a great friend, but not a bullied friend.

[northernstar]

i like csc's 2nd post. i think it is a gd advice to everyone regardless of age. to be popular, a neat and clean outlook is important to create a good impression as well hope all your children can find true friends in their lives.

[jasmineong]

mrswongtuition:

Try reading \"Best of Friends - How to help your child make friends with confidence\" by Hilary Pereira. Good book explaining how kids think/feel and how parents can help (comes with examples and numerous suggestion). Also highlights how to be a great friend, but not a bullied friend.

Yes, I think reading books like that would help a lot. In order to have friends, I think we can teach our kids how to be a friend, to give in a conversation, not to be the first to always talk about themselves, to listen and also to encourage their friends sometimes by giving a card or remembering the friend's birthdays. Sometimes, I do role play with my kids to teach them this and also to teach them how to make interesting small talk. One of my kid can be a little socially awkward and this helps him to break the ice. Just my 2 cents worth to add to this topic

[Quintessential Mum]

You could try reading Dale Carnegie's books for some practical advice too. :lol:

[en107rn.01056yahoo.01056com.01056sg]

Hi Sleepy,


You might want to ask your dd if the popular girl is surrounded by the same group of friends or is the girl being surrounded by different group of friends.

Why do I ask this? Here's how I interpret the word \"popularity\" means.

1) Surrounded by the same group of friends
I will opt for this. It's more of finding good friends who share common interest, common ground, same level of thinking, same kind of jokes. In a group, a natural leader will emerge. Someone with pleasant look (not necessarily pretty but more of passable look). Pleasant personality, the gives and takes in conversation, cheerful disposition, willingness to help, emphaty, capability in most situation, personal hygience, self confidence and with all the goodness that God has bestowed the girl, she must not be snooty (very important).

2) Surrounded by the different group of friends
It's not impossible for a child to be well like and popular from her junior to her senior level and that includes teachers and parents as well. Same package as I mentioned above but the difference will be on the capability. While the earlier one mention, the child is capable to carry out most things (ranging to passable to average or above average), the popular in school child often excel (top most) in everything they do. Eg a very clever child who tops in school, move out of her way to be friend schoolmates from the last class, helping them out with their studies. Excel in different types of sports, eg athletic is her main eca but because the school notice her natural ability for eg basketball, she's invited to be in the school basket ball team. Another eg is her natural writing or speaking ability, lead the teacher asking her to join writing/oratorical competition for school and she won, making her well known in school. Academically, this child has already won the heart of the clever students and the less ability students. She form friends from her atheletic clubs and basketball as well. With the child winning thorphies for the school, her achievements are highlighted. Again, God bestowed all the best for this child, yet the child remains humble and pleasant.

From my personal opinion I will opt for the first type of popularity. The second child is full of achievements, well like but not enough time spend for a real bonding with everyone. Some friends may be in awe and will naturally shun the child or there bound to be jealousy among friends and superficial friendship is borne. The child will be very popular but lonely with no close friends.

Well, I am not an expert. Just sharing my thoughts as usual

[noobparent]

Fundamentally, I think we should start a discussion with our kid on why the need or desire to be popular.


Difficult question. As social beings, I think we all like to be popular.

But we should not be popular for the sake of being popular.

Perspectives to this questions will likely hinge on your religious beliefs.

Also, doing the right thing may not be the popular thing.

The worst is if your kid compromises on core values just to be popular, or to be accepted into a group. E.g. kid takes up smoking just to be part of a smoking group; kid starts to curse, swear & speak in singlish just to be part of the ‘cool’ group etc.