Club SAHM

[ammonite]

vinegar:

AdonciaTang:

Am thinking of becoming a SAHM so I can spend more time with my kids, was wondering if i should do it now ? or should i continue with my career?

if u've someone to help taking care of ur kids & job is ok,think it is beta to continue to work.

I enjoy working than SAHM. When i was FTWM, i found fulfillment fr job achievement n socialize wf colleagues.

Being SAHM,at times, i feel sense of emptiness(despite i busy most of times)coz i am alone most of the times.I also don't feel appreciated esp,my son keeps picking the food i cook.DH rather watch TV or surf nets.

Even I was wf DH,he is a quiet person n we don't share much of conversation.I miss chatting wf my colleagues.

This is just my personal view.I am sure there r lots more mummies here who find more fulfillment as SAHM.....

:hugs: you used to be a very sociable lady right? Maybe you tried too much to be what you think they need, rather than who you are? If they pick at your food, why not give yourself a break and buy what they and YOU like once a week? Are your kids quite big already? If so join a hobby class in the evening and leave them to themselves. Being a SAHM, the main perk is time flexibility.

And of course, if you really think you prefer working, then start freshening your CV up now to prepare for that.

[sharonkhoo]

AdonciaTang:

Am thinking of becoming a SAHM so I can spend more time with my kids, was wondering if i should do it now ? or should i continue with my career?

This is a decision that you have to make for yourself. Spending time with your kids is a good idea, but many people feel bereft when they have to forgo their career. If you are unhappy, your family will also suffer. List out all the pros and cons for you and your family. Make sure that they are realistic - will your staying at home necessarily improve your child's grades? Will you have to cut expenses when you only have one income, and will you be willing to do that? Does your husband agree? Alternatively, could you arrange to work part-time and have the best of both worlds?

[AdonciaTang]

Hubby leave the decision to me. We have no problem with finances. Its just that somedays when I am home, my kids are alrdy sleeping. somedays when i am home early, they will come running to me giving me hugs and kisses on my face, makes me feel like the best mum on earth. i love that and was thinking if i should stop a while and spend time with them instead.


I have looked into doing part time instead. Was thinking probably thats the best way to have the best of both world. At least I can be ard to spend at least half a day with them.

[KSmom8]

sleepy:

KSmom8:

DH has been so hands off these few years, he does not help with chores, coaching kids nor looking after kids. He really gets to do whatever he fancies after work and on most weekends.

Wow your dh super 好命 !

Luckily my dh and yours didn't compare notes :rotflmao:
:

Unfortunately I didn't compare notes with you! :rotflmao:

It was quite tiring for me when DS2 was still a baby / toddler and DS1 was in primary school. Even with a maid cos I don't let her look after DS2. It's easier now with DS1 in sec school, and I can enjoy my time with DS2, who's also more independent. However, I often wish that DH will spend more time with them so that their bond will become stronger.

[KSmom8]

For me, the best part of being a SAHM is the close relationship with my kids. It’s really priceless! I get to watch them grow, nurture them and ( try to ) bring them up the way I want.


For me, the worst part of being a FTWM, was the guilt I felt from not being able to spend enough time with them.

[Sweet Joy]

AdonciaTang:

Am thinking of becoming a SAHM so I can spend more time with my kids, was wondering if i should do it now ? or should i continue with my career?

This is a tough decision. Why not start with working part-time first and leave about 2-3 days that you could spend with your kids? This way you can assess what you like better.

Ultimately, you will know what is best for yourself. You should think through thoroughly and carefully.

All the best!

[KSmom8]

metz:

KSmom8:

Hence, my \"temporary\" stint as SAHM seems to be more permanent unless I \"upset\" the equilibrium now. Actually, I'm already starting to feel restless now that DS1 is in sec school.

I can already forsee the restlessness once my kids go to secondary schools. Because of that, my husband prefers things to remain status quo for the moment. On one hand, he worries about me getting tired from working (part-time). On the other hand, he feels my presence at home all day has a 'stabiliser' effect on everybody. After all, I will have a lot of time when our kids are in secondary schools. So, 'working' can 'wait'. :roll:

Back to returning to the workforce, would you mind starting from the bottom all over again? For me, one alternative is to start at the bottom (if company is willing to employ me). Since you have been coaching your kids, how about joining enrichment centers or even starting your own tuition groups? One mother quit her accountancy job to stay home and coach her kid during the critical years. Thereafter, she started a tuition center for secondary school students. I am contemplating tutoring too. Friends advised secondary school students are easier to handle compared to primary school students. So, I may have to revisit the secondary school syllabus.

Yes, I will have to consider this, and more. A lot depends on how well adjusted DS2 will be in primary school next year. So, like you, working or doing something else, can wait for now.

Meanwhile, my focus is on preparing him for P1 and perhaps, doing something for myself , now that I have some spare time when DS2 is in preschool.

[janet88]

Being a SAHM, I guess I am closer to kids than hubby.

Kids and I have little secrets and sometimes we don't even have to say something and we know what is on each other's mind. With them, I have more to talk than with hubby...that's indeed scary when I think of him at home whole day after he retires.

After lunch and bath, I let the kids rest first...but hub will tell them to start doing their hw :slapshead: ie when he is on leave or MC at home. That is not what I practise.

[buds]

janet_lee88:

buds:

janet_lee88, Happy Anniversary! (Forgot to wish you yesterday).. :oops:


How did everything go?

Kissed and made up for every little thing oredi yah? :evil:

Nothing special...he had back to back conference calls till late last night.
But hey, thanks for the wishes...but reading your post on organizing everything and then having girls' out really made me feel less than adequate. You...a mother of 4...can handle so many tasks :salute:

No celebration at all? Not even a quiet lunch or dinner together since the kids are in school? You also can park them at your mom's if need be. You don't hafta feel less than adequate. No matter what we do, we must try to make ourselves happy even if everyone else tries to get to us. Try not let things get to us.. affect us.. too easily. http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php Find fulfillment in little things first in our routine and move on to bigger ones once you get a kick out of those little rewards that you give yourself.

It's like work in fact. You wanna knock off early, gao tim everything early. Want bonus, do extra and carry some balls... i mean teh boss a bit.

I like having time for my stuff so i suppose i work faster and also look into work-efficiency.. look back on how i can do things better instead of the same but faster, if you understand what i mean. It's like work-smart. :evil: Not just work hard. http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php

Believe me when i share with you this. Even buds_hubs takes me for granted sometimes. He doesn't realize it i guess so i have to tell him once or more :rant: if the need arises. He usually says that i make it look so easy that no one will believe it's a lot of work.. a lot of effort.. to gao tim everything. He has time to beef up at the gym.. go for slow hair cut/ treatments.. jog.. participate in marathon events.. play music.. you name it. I'm a very understanding wife but i feel that when they forget that we sometimes have to squeeze time to even trim our nails nicely or comb our hair properly (if we even do it in the first place ) or even take our time with showers (cos my kids can either come to ask if know the formula to this homework question or mommy can sign this :siao: or chubs calling mommy i want milk and dragon_boi yelling at the top of his lungs just watching me go into the bathroom from his baby cot :faint:)..... i feel the men reminders :nunchuk: mebbe the need for a poke :pokeeye: just to remind them of the things we do to make this home pretty perfect, the kids all cleaned up beautiful and handsome, to get food hot from the oven or stove, the bed ready for :evil:...

Like Miley says it in her chorus.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA

I put my hands up.. and they're playin' my song.. and know that i'm gonna be ok.

So yesterday afternoon i made myself happy slowly diggin into my comfort food..
at my favourite cosy hang out.

http://i45.tinypic.com/15ogtpf.jpg\">

yeeaah.. :drool:

Let's play up the pudding and mousse shall we..

http://i45.tinypic.com/2vi4i1i.jpg\">

...bread and butter pudding drenched in vanilla sauce (oohhh i loooove vanilla sauce)

http://i47.tinypic.com/zw0wzr.jpg\">

...and chocolate mousse.

I feel great today already. Well, chocolate does that to you too. :love:

Plus it's the end of CA1. http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php

Yesterday's bitch and binge session can be considered the umbrella before the rain.. http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php

You know? Before the Parent Teacher Conference? :nailbite:

[vinegar]

bud,

who take care of ur kids when u go out wf friends? I don’t hv any caregiver.MIL or mother cannot take care…DH couldn’t take leave to celebrate any birthday/V-day/anniversary.He also NOT keen to do so.