PCF/PAP Kindergartens

[sophie80]

corrochan:

sophie80:

(To make it clear, I do not have discrimination on these special children. but from my point of view, they should not stay with normal children. ) how can they allow this happens?

sophie80, I find this statement incomprehensible. can you explain pls?

Wow, all the fingers pointing to me.
I do not have discrimination on these special kids. 自闭症儿童 need special care. The ones irresponsible are her parents. Her teacher and even the principal had both talked to her parents for many times.

自闭症儿童 could do dangerous things which they dont realise. There was one time during last chinese new year, teachers were showing kids about how to make chinese dumpling in the class. Teacher asked other students to stay away from the pot. But that kid just stood up suddenly and walked straight to the bowling pot. If the teacher could not stop her, can u imagine what would happen next?

[sophie80]

She attacks other students in the class. She plays when others are having lessons. We understnad that she did not do these on purpose. But, other kids will possibly follow her. U know how fast kids learn bad behaviours? The teacher needs always keep one eye on her while conducting class. Both teacher and students have been distracted by her.


And the most important part is that her situation will not become any better if she stays in a normal class. She needs special care so that she might be waken up one day.

[sophie80]

manjaNurse:

Hi Sophie 80

Your remarks of the special need kid are quite discriminating. I do hope that Singaporeans nowadays are more open-minded and more educated so as to prevent discrimination.
Afterall, we are all Singaporeans and all of us should be one united people, regardless of race, language or religion...or do you think we should add in regardless of IQ level too?
Regards, manja

I did not mention anything about IQ. Actually, some 自闭症儿童 have talents on certain areas, eg. painting, maths.

To be open-minded, we need to understand what kids need. This girl's problem is that she lives in her own world, i.e. not be able to communicate with anybody. Her potential and talents need to be developed in a special way.

The complaints do not come from me only, its from most of the parents of the students in the class. Teachers are actually not teaching this girl. What they trying to do is just to make sure she is not affecting others and the class.

[corrochan]

Dear sophie80 and parents,


When was the last time you were bullied, physically, verbally or otherwise assaulted by a person with disability? How frequent?

When was the last time you were bullied, or physically, verbally or otherwise assaulted by a neuro-typical (aka normal) person? How frequent?
P.s. consider office back-stabbing, gossips, and bad-mouthing, queue-jumping, inconsiderate driving, etc. as part of above.

Parents, autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a lifelong developmental disability that affects how a person communicates with, and relates to, other people and the world around them. It is a spectrum because there is range of severity of traits from low-functioning to high functioning. This is not the same as general definition of IQ. There are ASD people with high IQ, but with severe sensory issues that prevent them for normal learning.

But this comment that I am posting is not about educating you on ASD. That you can do with WWW. I want to talk about living with differences, about embracing diversity. I want to talk about right-parenting.

ASD people have no negative effect on others

Firstly to allay your fears, parents, ASD is not infectious. ASD people, because of a general lack of self and environmental awareness, do not harm others. ASD people generally lack the “ego” that drives man to harm others, and create wars as results.

Parents, ASD children or adults DO NOT attack others. ASD children cannot express themselves because of their ASD. They have sensory processing issues, because of their ASD. They may not understand “danger”, also because of their ASD. Some times, these result in an overload, and ASD children may cry or hurt themselves uncontrollably – we call this a meltdown. There are methods to contain the meltdown, and it’s easy to learn.

But they seldom hurt others intentionally.

The hidden discriminatory nature in us

Let’s be honest, parents. We all have an inherent nature to differentiate “us” and “them”, we fear “things” we don’t understand. Some times this results in chauvinism, most times it’s discrimination. Singapore, Singaporeans and its government and policies are generally guilty of this. 

Parents, most of the bully cases that you heard, or read from the newspapers – are those bullies ASD children, or are they neuro-typical but un-informed/mis-guided children?

The uninformed child probably has never been guided about living with differences. Maybe the child has been misguided, or has modeled after her equally uninformed, unwise parents and teachers, right from the day she was bornt, to kindergarten to full-fledge schools!

Parents of special needs children are not selfish. They are selfless.

Parents, do you have a special needs child? ASD, ADHD, dyslexic, etc? Do you know of any one, friends or relatives who are such parents? Do they come across as selfish to you?

By no wrong or choice of their own, some parents are bestowed with the most difficult task on earth – to bring up children with special needs.

- They work 100 times harder than other parents.
- Most of them can forget about building retirement nests, since they spend all they can afford on special educations.
- They thicken their skins, and ask for help of anyone who is (remotely) willing to help.
- They bear with all sorts of discriminations (some disguised as concerns) from general public, other parents, teachers, etc.
- They bear with discriminatory or insufficient government policies around people with disabilities (e.g. there is no mandatory special education in Singrapore, the government doesn’t provide sufficient early intervention program, there is no anti-discrimination law in Singapore, etc.)

These parents sacrifice so that their special needs children may, even if it’s an iota of hope, become independent and lead meaningful and productive lives.

Parents, do you still think these parents are selfish?

The main issue with ASD people is an inability to interact socially, and they include avoiding eye contact, lack of speech, lack of social awareness, inability to read social cues, etc.?

If you are a parent of an ASD child, do you isolate the child, or you try (whenever possible) to place the child near normal children, so that the child may learn to model after normal behaviour?

Most parents of special needs children send their kids to special education schools and will also expose the kids to normal environment (through normal schools), where they can.

Now, what will you do if you know there is a child with special needs in your child’s class?

ASD people have positive effect on children, if parents do the right thing.

Children, normal or otherwise, are like sponge that absorbs what adults teach, and what adults model. When children understand that their friends or classmates are lacking in some ways, they are presented with unique learning opportunities to help others and to understand that the world is made up of different people of religion, language, creed, culture, behaviors, etc. They learn compassion. They learn true wisdom, not one-upmanship.

In other words, they learn to embrace diversity without condescending motives. How is that a bad thing?

Parents, what will you do now? What do you think is the right thing to do, if your normal child asks you about it?

Sincerely.

[sophie80]

I have read articles saying that these special kids need special care, and they are also written by experts. Experts have different opinions on the same case all the time.


Learning is bilateral. special kids learn good behavior from normal kids. Normal kids could learn bad behavior from special kids.This article is written from the special kid perspective, it simply ignore the benefit of the normal kids. If there is no negative effect, then what we v experienced were made up?

From my understanding, ur article says that they need exposure with normal kids. but it does not mean they do not need special care. If I m not wrong, in specical care centre, one teacher could teach only one or two kids. They have specialised knowledge on how to deal with these kids and guide them how to live independently. They spend time to understand what they really need, their progress and help them. Isn’t that a better environment for them?

[ArielMermaid]

Hi Sophie80 and parents with similar thinking,

In your posting, you mentioned that special needs children shouldn’t be with the normal children, and that they would harm their classmates. Were you referring to special needs children in general or to the autistic child in your child’s class? I don’t mean to nit-pick, but this distinction can determine whether you are discriminatory or just being objective.

You may be aware that autism is a spectrum, and no two autistic people have identical behaviour.  There are some who are lower functioning and who require special care all the time; on the other hand, there are some who are high functioning, who do not really need special attention all the time, and whose main problem is in social interaction. These children would benefit from observation of and eventual participation in the social interaction with neurotypical children. Neurotypical children can in turn- with proper guidance from compassionate parents and teachers- learn empathy, compassion and patience from interacting with these special children.

That said, I would further ask for your understanding on why "selfish" parents leave their seemingly unsuitable children at normal schools. Special education is scarce and costly in Singapore. The route from the time of diagnosis to entry into special schools is very long and can take a long time. While a child is waiting for help, what can a parent do in the meantime? Even in a best case scenario whereby there is a caregiver at home to look after the child, would the parent choose to let the child languish at home with little guidance, or would the parent enroll the child in a school, hoping (no matter how unrealistically) that he can pick up some skills- social, self help or academic- from his classmates and teachers? And how about those families without childcare arrangement at home?

Now, your main grouse is that the presence of the autistic girl distracts the teacher and impedes the progress of her classmates. By the same breath, should we then generalize and say that handicapped people shouldn’t be allowed to live, since not only do they not contribute to the economy, they consume precious resources that could be utilised to develop the potential of the normal people?

Most parents want the best for their children. In an ideal world, everyone is borne equal and without impediments. In an ideal society, each child- whether neurotypical or special needs- has an education that will develop him to his fullest potential. Unfortunately, this is not an ideal society. You are fortunate to have a normal child, and not have to experience the many additional worries that plague parents of children with special needs. Is it too much to ask for a little empathy and understanding?

[WaWa]

sophie80:

Learning is bilateral. special kids learn good behavior from normal kids. Normal kids could learn bad behavior from special kids.

I discovered this pretty late but I guess Seleste & Corrochan have covered various angles quite adequately so I will try not to repeat after them. Just wanted to chip in on my 2cents' worth.

With specific reference to what you had written above (quoted herewith), the fact that you jumped into conclusion that special needs kids learn \"good\" behaviour from normal kids is itself a glaring discrimination. Are you saying ALL normal kids display only GOOD behaviour? Similarly, again quoting you, \"normal kids learn bad behaviour from special needs kids\" seems to suggest that special needs children have only bad qualities. That is where you are unwise, ill-informed & myopic.

I have 2 children. One special needs; the other normal (just like your child). My special needs child greets all aunties & uncles he meets readily, which to me, is a good behaviour.... my normal child hates to greet people, no matter how hard I try to cajole him, which to me, is a \"bad\" behaviour I am still trying to correct. And like it or not, I am trying to get my normal child to use his special needs sibling as an example (in this aspect).

U r right. Learning is bilateral. While your child is normal, I do not believe she is \"perfect\". Kids will be kids, there will bound to be times where she displays bad behaviour... can we then say we are \"afraid our SN kids will learn this bad behaviour from your child?\" This wouldn't be a fair statement.

I believe this is where effective parenting comes into play. I won't criticise your parental style but to ostracize won't help. Your child will one day meet special needs people along the way, be it in her career or personal life, would you educate her to run away from such people or be equipped with the right mindset to handle the situation? Hypothetically again (just solely for the purpose of meaningful discussion - no offence please) - If she ever has a special needs child later on in her life, should she shirk the responsibility , shun the child or perhaps just dump the child with you (the grandmother) and run away from reality? Or should she be responsible enough to actively search for all ways to help her child integrate into society?

Besides, normal kids can be discerning if parents explain to them what is good & what is bad behaviour. So they should know what is good behaviour; given good parental guidance; since they are normal children with above-average cognitive ability (as opposed to special needs kids).

Being overly-protective won't help. Don't leave education solely in the hands of the school/teachers. Take an active stance. Educate your child yourself what is right behavior & what is wrong behaviour. Inclusion is key here, for, if you cannot embrace (embrace, not condone) bad behaviour as part of your teachings, she will not be able to grow up discerning coz her \"education or developmental milestone\" is skewed. Her education has been \"modified\" such that she can only see \"good things & never the bad; it has been \"modified\" such that it is not a true reflection of what she will see in reality eventually.

If you put her in a school with all neuro-typical (normal) kids, can you guarantee that she will not see other children \"misbehaving\" (or are you saying normal children won't fight, won't snatch)? In their teenage years, most teens would be curious to experiment with smoking or even with some nocturnal activities they shouldn't really be doing ... how are you going to \"protect\" her ... via proper education that includes talking about the topics openly or \"run away from the topic\" & evade talking about such topics altogether?

Inclusion is key. Diversity is paramount. Education encompasses both & more; not just mere academics.

[Chiew]

Hi,


Any comments on PCF at Lor Ah Soo blk 125, please.

Thank you.

[sophie80]

By saying special kids i mean 自闭症儿童 as i dont know how to say it in english. Any special kids other than 自闭症儿童 is not within the scope of our discussion. Sorry abt the confusion.


Thanks,

[sophie80]

From the perspective of this 自闭症儿童, she could have learned more things if she studied in a special school. Teachers there have specialised skill to train and guide them. And the earlier she is sent there for treatment, the bigger the chances she can be cured.


But teachers in normal school do not have the expertise and knowledge to teach and guide her. One teacher prob. need to look after 20 or more students. How can they be patient and spend time with 自闭症儿童. As a parent of any kid, u expect they learn sth from the school not just to kill time there.