Child Underperforms Because Tested Above Cognitive Level
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bebe:
Thanks bebe :hugs: Kudos to ur girl for being diligent. That's really half the battle won when the child is hardworking and responsible. :rahrah:
:goodpost: My dd1 is not a smart learner, but she is diligent.schweppes:
As parents, we all want our kids to do well in school and in life. So, it can be a scary thought / disheartening if our kids are not performing up to mark. Whether it's a case where parents get caught up with the moment or to keep up with the jones, I can't help but feel that there's this sense of urgency where we have to keep up or otherwise lose out.
Earlier on I talked about cultivating mental strength in our kids. Think parents must have the mental strength to understand the limits of our kids and not to over-push our kids too.
It's tough. I struggle with this all the time.
Wanting my kids to do well. Coz if they do, I feel that I have done a good job being a good parent. Coz if they don't do as well, then I'm gonna feel real lousy. Wondering where have I failed as a parent. Am I doing enough to help them?
I'm NOT saying that we should settle for mediocrity. Of course not. If my kids can perform well, then I will do whatever I can to help and motivate them to perform their best. But if they can't perform as well, then I must have the mental strength not to panic. To work on their weaknesses and to remind myself that they have other strengths too.
That sometimes, in the failings, they learn to be resilient and to pick themselves up and strive harder.bebe:
Not \"slow\" learner lah. Think most of us have average kids - mine too - living in a very fast paced world.Given that her attention span is short, and she tends to have \"memory lapse\"..sometimes I wish we can have a slower pace in our education system for \"slow\" learner... :sad:
:nailbite: Me also trying very hard to keep up as well. :shock: :roll:
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schweppes:
I so agree schweppes. :hugs:As parents, we all want our kids to do well in school and in life. So, it can be a scary thought / disheartening if our kids are not performing up to mark. Whether it's a case where parents get caught up with the moment or to keep up with the jones, I can't help but feel that there's this sense of urgency where we have to keep up or otherwise lose out.
Earlier on I talked about cultivating mental strength in our kids. Think parents must have the mental strength to understand the limits of our kids and not to over-push our kids too.
It's tough. I struggle with this all the time.
Wanting my kids to do well. Coz if they do, I feel that I have done a good job being a good parent. Coz if they don't do as well, then I'm gonna feel real lousy. Wondering where have I failed as a parent. Am I doing enough to help them?
I'm NOT saying that we should settle for mediocrity. Of course not. If my kids can perform well, then I will do whatever I can to help and motivate them to perform their best. But if they can't perform as well, then I must have the mental strength not to panic. To work on their weaknesses and to remind myself that they have other strengths too.
That sometimes, in the failings, they learn to be resilient and to pick themselves up and strive harder.
Other than expecting the children to learn mental strength, we, the parents also have to exhibit that. I have walked away from many things sold to me eg. like Shicida, Jelic brain training programmes, Montessori method, Glenn Doman......from people like friends and relatives who meant well when my child was as little as 2 months old. They have no ill intentions certainly but only think that I should give my child a head start in life, which every parent should. In fact, until today, I really appreciate them for introducing such things to me, not because I would like to consume them, but made me realise there were so many tempting things to do for my child out there in the flowery world if I am not careful and want to try all, in the name of giving a head-start. It also built up the mental strength in me to say 'no' and moved on a course which I considered more according to what the natural force guided me. In the end, I consumed NONE of those mentioned-above but only used my instinct as a mum to guide my child according to what she is. I also sent my child to a no-brand learning style kindy because the only brand I know of is PLAY as a child, LIVE and LAUGH as a child. :rotflmao: In the end, thank God she is not short-changed academically when she hit P1 and I am still monitoring her progress as the journey goes on.... Preschool days' focus was not academic. Even if it points back to academic excellence today, it is more accidental than deliberate efforts.
It pays if we pay more attention to our motherly instinct in us and be unfazed by all the temptations around us. As I move along with my child, it became clearer and clearer to me that using our motherly instinct as the guiding principle will not go too wrong.....but listening to a lot of external advices especially if one who does not know your child well would sometimes set you a few steps backwards. If your children are watching you in action on mental strength, they will mimic you. -
schweppes:
Thanks ksi, for the affirmation. :hugs:ksi:
This sounded familiar but it was not the teachers telling me since we were from a \"laid-back\" kinda of kindy which I was glad I put my child there. It was my friends sharing how good their kids were with the computer, trying to influence me not to stop my child. Over time, the school exposes my child a little here and there to the computer, I HAD NEVER until iPad came along 2 years ago, she did it on her own. And honestly, there is no rocket science to pick up computer skills, with all the blockage from me, I am really quite surprised what my child can do on the computer, I give credit to the software creators for making everything quite intuitive. So I feel that when they are given enough right foundation to learn, they will learn when the time comes....not everything needs to be taught in a classroom or deliberately force it on them just to gain some head start advantage. Interest drives them further. So schweppes, you were right on track!!
:hugs:
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ksi:
:hi5: how true this is!! Must be intuitive and listen to our gut feel. Afterall, we know our child best. Though agree with u that sometimes, we can get carried away or be swayed by \"external\" influences.
It pays if we pay more attention to our motherly instinct in us and be unfazed by all the temptations around us. As I move along with my child, it became clearer and clearer to me that using our motherly instinct as the guiding principle will not go too wrong.....but listening to a lot of external advices especially if one who does not know your child well would sometimes set you a few steps backwards. If your children are watching you in action on mental strength, they will mimic you.
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Last year in my son’s neighbourhood school, the average marks for P5 Math both SA1 and SA2 were 40+ which means the average kid failed Maths. Maybe the time when i studied was such a long time ago but at that time the average kid would have scored at least 70+ and only those who are weaker in the subject fails. I am pretty sure most of those parents whose kids failed would have panicked enough to either start coaching their kid personally or send them for tuition or enrichment. So would think it’s too simplistic to just attribute the increase in standards and expectations to just parents’ ambitions.
Chenonceau’s analogy of training a dog to pee at peetray by giving a treat reminds me of my pup. I did this when training my then puppy many years ago to poo on newspapers and instead of doing business twice a day, she increased the frequency to 5 times a day to get 5 treats.
So if enrichment through learning ahead rewards kids with superior results, more parents would be encouraged to do just that. More of such enrichment centres sprout and to compete with each other, they teach even harder material. And according to the ST writer’s theory, schools will then be forced to test even harder material? After another ten twenty years, one wonders what will the difficulty level be like. -
ksi:
The words in red speak the half formed thought in my head that I struggled to find words for. You've given it form and made the contours of this thought clearer to me.
I agree with you Chenon...when an issue has grown to such a magnitude, it cannot simply be one single entity's fault. It is a chain effect interlocking each other deeper into the issue. In some cases, it was the parents driving the acceleration of curriculum when teachers found that too many can obtain full score. In other cases, it was the teachers driving the majority of the children into an unrealistic realm in an exam that resulted in many flogging to the tuition centres for help. There is contribution from the direction of some principals as well to make this paper chase madder than it should. And certainly MOE not managing the phenomenon and letting it get so out of hand cannot be innocent of this resulting situation as well. So at such a crunch where everyone actually contributed to the problem, then the only one who can pull everyone to their senses again would be the one with the most power and that would be MOE. If PERI has not disbanded, it is probably time for PERI to review and improvise things further.linden2000:
Thanks for giving the phenomenon some numbers.Last year in my son's neighbourhood school, the average and median marks for P5 Math both SA1 and SA2 were 40+ which means the average kid failed Maths. Maybe the time when i studied was such a long time ago but at that time the average kid would have scored at least 70+ and only those who are weaker in the subject fails. I am pretty sure most of those parents whose kids failed would have panicked enough to either start coaching their kid personally or send them for tuition or enrichment. So would think it's too simplistic to just attribute the increase in standards and expectations to just parents' ambitions.
schweppes:
Whilst I tell myself this everyday, and try to practise what I preach, the system cannot go to the extent where the average child fails and then expect EVERY parent to have the mental strength to understand the limits of the child.Earlier on I talked about cultivating mental strength in our kids. Think parents must have the mental strength to understand the limits of our kids and not to over-push our kids too.
At worst, the parent can confirm the child's own assessment that it is not cut out for academics when it is merely not taught enough. In this case, why would the child continue trying at a compulsory subject. It is one thing when the subject is an elective, but if it is a Math core... there is no escape from the hell of failure after failure (not due to the child's incapability, but due to the fact that schools assume every child has Math tuition). Even worse is when a parent throws remarks such as \"You're only good enough to be a hawker centre cleaner\". How many of us are guilty of such despite ourselves? At best, the parent has to spend a lot of effort affirming the child at home. How many parents have the time to do this?
I am no stranger to allowing my child to fail. In this very forum, I have been scolded by total strangers for advocating that failure teaches lessons important for success... However, I am aware that IN SOME SPECIFIC SITUATIONS, failure BREAKS the child and does not help in building resilience.
The barbaric practice of testing beyond our children's cognitive level is wasteful. Many kids have their spirits BROKEN (because not everyone has parents who have the mental resilience to not panic). They stop trying even though if they tried and with the right amount of help, they can do it. And when they reach adulthood, they're STILL afraid to fail.
Why should education be so painful that it is used as an excuse to build resilience? Education should be part of everyday living and learning. Why is it so painful to work and learn in Singapore? Why must there be so much pain?
We love our children don't we? If we do, we have to stop blaming ourselves and each other, and unite in our efforts to look for a STOP button to press. I have proposed one STOP button. Schools should stop reinforcing the efforts of enrichment parents by testing to the levels of enrichment children. -
Reading today's Straits Times, I learn of an absurd phenomenon that I believe has its roots in number (1).
(1) Schools test way beyond what they teach.
(2) Parents enrol kids in elite tuition centres to teach the material schools test but don't teach. These centres have thus the status of 2nd Regular School since they learn stuff here that is taught nowhere else.
(3) Kids can't cope with homework given by their 2nd Regular School.
(4) Parents hire 2nd line tutors to help kids with homework from their 2nd regular school.
How did we end up here in the last 7 years? Where will this bring us? http://www.straitstimes.com/STForum/Story/STIStory_765952.html -
GEP brings S3 level down to P6; HAKs can quite easily cope with Sec 1 & 2 Math [ ie boderline A1s] using their P6 knowledge- that's my gut feel about where the 'above cognitive level testing\" in primary school hits.
I doubt the powers that be want to change PSLE from a Differentiation game to a means of testing adequate ability for the next stage of school, so it is important parents bear this in mind when their child is \"labelled\" by the system.
DD is the tortoise not the hare -- she used her diligence and average intelligence to make the grade but this meant that (a) she had to work very hard on her own and (b) she needed better guidance [someone who understood her and addressed her weaknesses directly] and resources than what the system could afford to let her have.
Things are a lot more \"sane\" in secondary school; resources are better [ ie suitable for self-learning]; kids too have not much time for tuition as they cope with long school hours plus CCA , so my feel is that the \"above cognitive level\" testing in secondary school is probably not as high. That said, this is the DDs' school and I'm not sure whether this sanity prevails in other secondary schools.
Possibly not because I do recall that in my experience with a brand name JC with a lot of SAP overtones [this is not a generalisation but merely an accurate description of the JC I attended], my classmates (who must have pitied my extremely poor math performance) actually whispered to me - \" Eh-- you cannot just do the work the tutor sets ok ? Sure fail one -- they set 1st year university math questions for exams - you donch know uh...\" :yikes:
I really did not do well in those 2 JC years but God was good and I scrapped through and found a place in my faculty of choice. The uni days were far more similar to what I was used to - self learning, thinking more than doing, depth versus breath, so the kids with the top scores didn't necessarily do well because there was no way humanly possible to cover all that content by going through it [ and anyway, that wasn't the point].
Till the day we test at the child's cognitive level and not beyond, till the day we have better resources and teachers who are left to teach and not loaded with unrealistic KPIs, till the day the system becomes child centric , it is for us parents to breathe sanity into this crazy system that has led to second tier tutors supporting the first tier ones that support the school teachers :siao: -
psle2011mum:
Yes... must have a dose of scepticism when schools label your child in any way. Trust your Mommy/Daddy instincts.GEP brings S3 level down to P6; HAKs can quite easily cope with Sec 1 & 2 Math [ ie boderline A1s] using their P6 knowledge- that's my gut feel about where the 'above cognitive level testing\" in primary school hits.
I doubt the powers that be want to change PSLE from a Differentiation game to a means of testing adequate ability for the next stage of school, so it is important parents bear this in mind when their child is \"labelled\" by the system.psle2011mum:
This sounds like my DS. Average child who has to work hard on his own and needs better guidance from me who understands him and can address his weaknesses directly PLUS more resources than what his school gives.DD is the tortoise not the hare -- she used her diligence and average intelligence to make the grade but this meant that (a) she had to work very hard on her own and (b) she needed better guidance [someone who understood her and addressed her weaknesses directly] and resources than what the system could afford to let her have.
psle2011mum:
We are seriously considering 2nd tier schools.Things are a lot more \"sane\" in secondary school; resources are better [ ie suitable for self-learning]; kids too have not much time for tuition as they cope with long school hours plus CCA , so my feel is that the \"above cognitive level\" testing in secondary school is probably not as high. That said, this is the DDs' school and I'm not sure whether this sanity prevails in other secondary schools.
Possibly not because I do recall that in my experience with a brand name JC with a lot of SAP overtones [this is not a generalisation but merely an accurate description of the JC I attended], my classmates (who must have pitied my extremely poor math performance) actually whispered to me - \" Eh-- you cannot just do the work the tutor sets ok ? Sure fail one -- they set 1st year university math questions for exams - you donch know uh...\" :yikes:psle2011mum:
It seems that JC losers like you and I did not have our critical thinking educated right out of us.I really did not do well in those 2 JC years but God was good and I scrapped through and found a place in my faculty of choice. The uni days were far more similar to what I was used to - self learning, thinking more than doing, depth versus breath, so the kids with the top scores didn't necessarily do well because there was no way humanly possible to cover all that content by going through it [ and anyway, that wasn't the point].
psle2011mum:
Yes... we will have to support each other and encourage each other and uplift each other... and our kids.Till the day we test at the child's cognitive level and not beyond, till the day we have better resources and teachers who are left to teach and not loaded with unrealistic KPIs, till the day the system becomes child centric , it is for us parents to breathe sanity into this crazy system that has led to second tier tutors to support the first tier ones that support the school teachers :siao:
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psle2011mum:
Is it possible at all to make learning fun in primary school ? My daughter is in P2 this year. I read yesterday's ST about parents sending their 8 year olds to see psychologists after little ones flunked mid-year Math.Things are a lot more \"sane\" in secondary school; resources are better [ ie suitable for self-learning]; kids too have not much time for tuition as they cope with long school hours plus CCA , so my feel is that the \"above cognitive level\" testing in secondary school is probably not as high. That said, this is the DDs' school and I'm not sure whether this sanity prevails in other secondary schools.
My son is in P6...friends tell me school hours in secondary school are very long and CCA is compulsory. So basically there is NO time for tuition. A friend's son is in Sec 1 this year...she told me her son is kept busy with CCA and early day home is 3pm once a week...she has to be the tutor now or else her poor son cannot sleep.
Till the day we test at the child's cognitive level and not beyond, till the day we have better resources and teachers who are left to teach and not loaded with unrealistic KPIs, till the day the system becomes child centric , it is for us parents to breathe sanity into this crazy system that has led to second tier tutors to support the first tier ones that support the school teachers :siao:
It doesn't mean that ALL P2 kids attend enrichment classes to allow teachers in school teach more difficult stuff.
In Oct this year, my daughter, like many other P2s will have SA2. This will mean streaming. After the officer's assessment that she is on the slow side bcos her cognitive understanding is not of an 8 year old, I am taking one day at a time. I don't want her to see a psychologist or psychiatrist :yikes: . Meanwhile, I am coaching her personally and planning her revision every morning. Wish me luck.
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