Is GEP really necessary?
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comfy:
Seriously kS parents, from what I have been reading, I hope that some of your 'negative' remarks regarding gep kids are not passed down to your kids. Sincerely hope that all kids from mainstream or GEP can get along without any prejudice from their parents. Cheer!
Actually, the last people you have to worry about are the KSP parents! We talk talk only, how do we all have any action?
We cannot expect other people to change or be kind to us. The only people we can change is ourselves. Here's what I do to ensure my children survive, whether they are identified or labeled gifted or not.
1. Have a set of expectation and live up to that. Set goals with the kids, the highest they can achieve. If your kid is a high ability or gifted child, the kid can achieve much more than an average. Then let those be the goals, and keep your eyes on those goals. For example, my daughter reminded me that DS2 will probably top a particular exam and break a world record. He is still making a few mistakes in the mock test, though. She reminded me not to just let him score enough, and make sure he works a little harder (he only works 1.5 hours a day on it now) and achieve that goal. She said it will be a waste not to go for it. So, yes, everybody has different potential, recognize the kids' own and go for the highest ACHIEVABLE. Not highest in the country or what the teachers want you, or higher than a relative or friend.
2. Work on the EQ department. I remember that when my older kids were young, we have parents who will be very unkind with their words to my children whenever they perform better vis-a-vis their kids. The kids are normally not the ones bearing grudges, the parents are. So, I made it a point to teach my children to always greet these parents, be EXTRA respectful and polite. Do favours for and make small talks with these parents with extra effort. By and by, they cannot fault my children anymore and stopped being unkind with their remarks. It is hard with one of my children who has absolutely no EQ, don't know whether born that way or just oblivious. So I make an extra effort to work on his skills, and it is so difficult, because he keeps getting into trouble. I am fortunate because we are now in a Western environment which is so much more accepting than in Singapore. They say it takes a whole village to raise a child and it is true. The forgiving society has taught my son to forgive, the kindness in his friends (though he being used as a human calculator), the sweetness and generosity of the teachers, and the personable attitude of the principals taught my son much. Singapore spent too much time on IQ and school, leaving out what I feel raises the quality of the workforce. We are impatient on the roads, rude over the counter and cynical in other people's successes. We spend so much time on tuition, but no time teaching our children lifeskills. For me, I spend a lot more time on lifeskills and EQ. teaching even how to use a low voice to talk rather than a high, squeaky voice, how to build emotional banks, the 7 habits etc. When they finally go out to work, how much IQ they have makes so little difference, it is the ability to handle people and situation that puts a person in an advantageous position. Yes, even in academia.
3. Don't be affected about people who insist on comparing or being unfair but reach out to their hearts by being sincerely nice to them. And there are cases like these I can name all the time. Even for myself, where my academic awards were given to the second placed child twice in my secondary school by the teacher. But so what? Life is not fair from the start. So be it. Don't let them achieve their goals of having you react. I always tell my children to work hard and be so far ahead, there's no way others can mark you down, or try to compare with you. I always say, 让他们望尘莫及，and that is always the best revenge. Be so far ahead, no one whats to compare anymore and concede defeat themselves, no need to fight. 这一招 never fails.
4. Work very hard. Very, very hard. I always tell the kids that they are ordinary, but does not mean they cannot achieve extraordinary things. I ask them to always remember people around them are much more capable, so if they put in 1 hour, we must aim to put in 1.5 hours in order to match up to them. Hence, if and only if we happen to be a bit smarter, we will achieve more. Works everytime, and nobody dares take away your hard earned achievement.
5. Refuse to be dragged down to compete at their levels. Already said set our own goals. Next is, refuse to compete. Why compete at whatever people tell us to? We set our own targets in life. If your target is to pass a subject, others scoring 90+ shouldn't affect you. If yours is to go to an Ivy League, then go for it. If yours is to stay in Singapore and go to NUS, go for it, too! Nobody should tell you one is better or the other. As long as there is breath, nobody knows who will have the last laugh, the verdict is still out. What meets the eye is far from the reality until we are at our death beds.
6. Be humble, happy and contented. Whatever given to us, be contented. Don't crave for what others have. Having more may not necessarily be a blessing. Already said, to him more is given, more is expected. If we happened to be gifted more, do more to the society, and give back more, and expect people to be jealous or misunderstand, there's no need to get upset. I take that as a complement when people are jealous, and I have other friends, these folks don't change my lives. Remember it is not our fault, and sooner or later, they will be won over if I am humble enough. If we gifted less, thank God for that still. Then, less is expected. Personally, I'd rather give back more. Humility is something that must be taught to all children, because that's how people judge your character at the end of the day. Fancy they teach the kids in GEP to handle their gifts, but they don't seem to teach them humility, or how to be humble. Humility has to be taught, either by us, or by the society in a much more cruel way.
7. Be an imposter, and this is a common syndrome among gifted. Just let people win some argument, let people have a final say, pretend to be ignorant, stupid or don't know, leave some money on the table, let others win. We don't need to win every battle, we don't even need to fight every one. At the end of the day, it is no fun winning if everyone becomes an enemy, or there's no more people to work with. We are here on earth look for the commonality, not the differences.
And that is also what I think is important here. GEP or not does not matter, the difference does not matter, but the common goal of raising our children well, which for all parents is the same, is what really matters. In summary, I teach my children not to expect and demand preferential treatment, but to earn respect, love and people to 服 them。If you have more ideas, add on to them. I'm sure there are many parents out there who have more wisdom, and I'd love to learn.
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Actually,
I only have one cardinal rule for my kids.
1) Be Happy
If I set too many dimensions they start to contradict each other. -
3Boys:
That too.Actually,
I only have one cardinal rule for my kids.
1) Be Happy
If I set too many dimensions they start to contradict each other. But it is hard to be happy unless we learn contentment. It is hard to learn contentment unless we understand ourselves and those around us. Some people pick up those skills by observation, others have to be taught. Unfortunately, not all my kids are able to pick these up by observation, some can, some cannot, so that's where I chip in and model for or teach them. Not all of us are born the same, and thank God for that, and thank God we are all equal.
Hahaha.... and fathers are different from mothers. Mothers worry a lot more. Must learn to be less anxious.
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Thanks 2ppaamm for sharing. I believe in 取之于社会，用之于社会 and our own version of No Child Left Behind.
In addition, hsk just said "the education policy of today cannot be divorced from the hopes and dreams for the future of Singapore and he is looking forward to active and candid contributions from Singaporeans to this national conversation ". -
Hi, good morning to all!
Good & nice to hear that all of you are so positive!
:snuggles: :grphug: :hugs:
My way of parenting is to learn to respect my kids as an individual not a kid & be patient to listen to them.
The Goals that they want to reach are to be compete within themselves, not with others.
Learn to give thanks to God for everything they've and for the things they don't too.
Encourage them to share & help those who are in need.
:lovesite: -
buds:
I got milk! :idea:
So the cows have not come home, we got no milk, so where to get cream?2ppaamm:
[quote=\"ruohoo97\"]
The cream comes from milk lah!
Hope got enuff cream for DD2 tomorrow. :rotflmao:[/quote]Can share some? I got no more already, but fortunately after feeding each kid for a year, those are precious things...
Cream does not dissolve in water, but if you blend it well enough, you can create lots of wonderful treats, from creme brulee, to custard, to quiche... to carbonara... to even cakes. It need not float, it can be blended too, and only when blended is its flavour enhanced.
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cherryc:
What is \"Singapore\" here? Government or children or Singaporeans? Singapore is different from Singaporeans, right?
In addition, hsk just said \"the education policy of today cannot be divorced from the hopes and dreams for the future of Singapore and he is looking forward to active and candid contributions from Singaporeans to this national conversation \".
Feel sad to have to say this, but this sentence is nothing but motherhood without commitment or substance, and asking us to contribute, conversation might not have action, anyway, at least as far as I know. So until I see a concrete change, I continue to look at things like this :skeptical: -
2ppaamm:
Nice double entendre. Well done. Will email you my thing shortly.
Cream does not dissolve in water, but if you blend it well enough, you can create lots of wonderful treats, from creme brulee, to custard, to quiche... to carbonara... to even cakes. It need not float, it can be blended too, and only when blended is its flavour enhanced. -
osim:
Melodies:
Hi OSIM, plse try to see the point of NO one here has disputed the need to have the existing GEP program and some think that the program should extend to a wider population like top 25% of the cohort. Some has very good suggestions to modify the existing GEP program to suit those GEPpers who are still bored with the GEP program and are ready for a even higher level than the existing.... .
25% :yikes: , then this is not a specialized program anymore. Many in this 25% are just hardworking and very compliant kids, the GEP is not about nurturing high achievers but to cultivate thinkers.
O, there u r. Cultivate thinkers, then shdnt use a standardized program for every gifted kid le, why? Because some geppers r very good in area a n some r good in area b. If u can cultivate geppers type a in area b which is not her/his expertise, so can cultivate the rest of the Mainstreamers. Make sense? Pls ignore all speculation n conspiracy theory for the sake of discussion.
Honestly, if GEPper ( I didn't say all but some) can't manage to perform in PSLE (which is at a lower level than GEP level) despite all the good resources and extensive materials which are pitched at the higher level.
There is something wrong with the IP program ruelamode nothing to do with producing star students in PSLE. In fact if you take science for example, the program curriculum incorporate more experiential learning, a bigger scope in the subject which at times is out of the PSLE context so how can it be to help geppers to perform well in PSLE. In fact they have so little time to do exam type questions even dd science teacher told me we have to chip in to help her do some assessment books just for the sake of exams. The exam hothousing only start after the June holidays for geppers. I want to say here that geppers suffer a lot when mainstream drill comes in. They are train to think rather to react so many problems they handle by analysis from ground up. These kids are very quick to spot ambiguities in questions, they think and infer too much for their own good in exam. Many times, it is not their problem but the problem with poor phrasing of the questions. My dd science teacher got bombarded so bad by the kids she had to ask them to stop questioning the question or they cannot answer the question
Now you see why some geppers don't do as well in the PSLE but it doesn't matter, PSLE is just an exam, the beauty is in the mental training the GEP program gives..[/color]
some geppers still can do well in psle. Why le? R they given more time to 'drill'. Or they r simply brilliant? If u r geppers, r u expected to cover boarded scope n get into more depth than Mainstreamers n not saying u can skip the fundamental concepts which r thought in Mainstream. U covered more, u shd do even better in psle instead...some brilliant geppers had demonstrated that... all r basic in psle.
Up to now, I still can't understand why you need to do the drilling for your PSLE grammar/vocabs if you are already in Sec level of grammar/vocab for cloze passages. I'd think that you have not built up the necessary foundation for sec level grammar/vocabs. So, the program should allow this group of GEPers to build up their foundation. I knew that I am going to upset some parents here but I would like to highlight this so that parents are aware of this and can help their GEP ds/dd.
Thanks for your good intention. Just to clarify, in P4/P5, there is no drill or almost no grammar or vocab (this is so for my dd school). It was all about writing, expressing and reading technique. The social studies is the cornerstone of the program that develops their critical thinking skills using social issues, geography and history. In English and SS, philosophy is also incorporated sometimes depending on the teachers style. Grammar only start in P6, vocab is almost needless for geppers as they are mostly avid readers.
U see, u said the program is asking them to self-discovery n learning. I understand that they don't do teach grammar now. Since the r avid readers, why worry n they can always self learning. No? -
3Boys:
Now I am looking at the mirror?Actually,
I only have one cardinal rule for my kids.
1) Be Happy
If I set too many dimensions they start to contradict each other.
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