把童年还给孩子 (from Zaobao May 6) - Return childhood to our kids
-
http://www.zaobao.com.sg/yl/yl120506_002.shtml
郭践红:把童年还给孩子
(2012-05-06)
郭践红
五湖四海
应该让孩子们在农场长大,在剧场长大,不能在考场长大呀!
让孩子保持天真烂漫童心,捍卫孩子们玩乐的空间,教会孩子享受简单的快乐,都该当是我们做父母的责任。
还记得童年时,大人们曾经对我们说:“我们小时候哪里有这样?以前我们……”,然后道出一连串他们以前如何刻苦耐劳,尝试说明我们今天太娇气、太好命、太不懂得珍惜了。
等到自己长大了,开始累积生活历练,发现自己也开始老气横秋地对年轻的朋友们这么说。可是,到了现在,对于我的孩子,这话还真不好说,因为比起我小时候,孩子肯定不娇气、不好命的一件事,就是读书考试。
如果问我小学读过什么考过什么,我无法告诉你,因为读书在我的童年只占了很小的一部分。记忆中,童年是玩乐、是朋友;上学只不过是穿着校服去玩、去找朋友。当然,过程中必须付出上课的代价,回家也有完成功课的任务,但这都只是做小孩子的一些“不方便”——占时不多、占脑更少。
然而今天,孩子读书好像打仗,做父母的有如总司令:要有策略、有心计,而且必须有宏大的远见。养兵得趁早,而且必须有计划。孩子一出世就开始找幼儿园,接着找浸濡课程准备小学课程,同时找合适的小学,在附近买房子、做义工。再来就是选补习班,帮孩子应付功课和考天才班,当然大目标是小六会考,得决定是靠成绩,靠课外活动,还是靠其他天分才艺,不放心就海陆空一起进攻,希望这样胜算会较大。这一切还只是完成小学毕业这一战,到了中学就更不用说,连核子弹都拿出来了!
很多当家长的朋友埋怨,说原本不想这么“怕输”,想为孩子保留更多无拘无束的空间。但眼看身边的父母都在追浪,深怕不随波逐流就会被卷进海底;不能眼巴巴地看一艘艘船启航,唯独自己的孩子被留在岸上。这样的恐惧让好多父母也无奈地跟着追赶跑,不知不觉地,也就习以为常了。
在我家,从小读书考试对我爸妈来说从来不是重点,重要的是纪律、工作态度和自我挑战。明天考试测验,但今天有好戏看,戏还是得看的。我的自我价值并非以我的成绩来衡量,所以当女儿去年进小学,我们一家也抱着同样的态度。即使这样,我们有时也感觉好像仓鼠上了跑轮,莫名其妙地跟着跑啊跑,跑啊跑……
父母苦,孩子们更苦,而且是有苦说不出,因为他们还不晓得问题出在哪里,怎么沟通,怎么调适。我女儿一年级时,好多同学已经开始补习,平日功课多,到了周末还得上课,继续提升。我每天看那些和她一起等校车的孩子们,渐渐的,压力在她们身上留下了痕迹,笑容不再天真,眼神不再无忧,好奇心慢慢下降……
我们到底在追逐什么?追好成绩?追顶尖精英教育的机会?追个出人头地的大好前途?追个第一名,追个天才班的名额,然后呢?牺牲了孩子的童年来博取这一切,值得吗?对孩子的未来又有什么影响?
回头看看,我童年时拍的照片,好多是妈妈带着我到植物园、蓄水池去喂鱼、看天鹅。大树、草地、天空、云彩、海边、沙滩……,大自然一直伴着我成长。妈妈教我如何享受生活中简单的快乐——太阳出来真灿烂,大风大雨也一样痛快!生命给我们的点点滴滴都是精彩的,只要带着我的好奇心、热诚、想象力!
应该让孩子们在农场长大,在剧场长大,不能在考场长大呀!让孩子保持天真烂漫童心,捍卫孩子们玩乐的空间,教会孩子享受简单的快乐,都该当是我们做父母的责任。
同事当中,有几个孩子还小,不久也将面对教育的选择问题。有一次聊天,我问大家,有谁认为自己或其他哪个人是杰出的(excellent)?或哪个人觉得自己普通(average)?大家你看我我看你,结果都自认很平凡、很普通。然后我又问大家,觉得自己的生命有价值吗?对社会有贡献吗?事业上有作为吗?生活快乐吗?大家一致认同生活的各个方面倒还蛮充实,也觉得自己在做有意义的事,因此快乐指数挺健康的。以学业成绩来看,我这一群同事都很普通,没有天才班的学生,没有奖学金得主,既然普通的我们,做人同样有建树、有贡献,为什么我们的孩子需要为了追逐优异的成绩而失去这么多?
既然平凡普通的人也能过得充实、有意义,不如把童年还给孩子吧!
(作者是实践剧场艺术总监) -
:rahrah: Nice article, thks for sharing.
Ever wonder what this new generation kids love to do .... iPad , iPhone , psp, wii, Nintendo ... Etc ... Allowing our kids more time to indulge in these activities = better childhood ? Just thinking a loud ..... -
Suz855:
Honestly parents all have a choice to give or not to give. Both my kids do not have the above to play with every day to make it fair me n dh do not use a iphone or ipad.:rahrah: Nice article, thks for sharing.
Ever wonder what this new generation kids love to do .... iPad , iPhone , psp, wii, Nintendo ... Etc ... Allowing our kids more time to indulge in these activities = better childhood ? Just thinking a loud .....
The only time my DS gets his hands on the iphone to play is when he see my dadwhich is rarely instead we tend to bring both the kids out of nature walks, farm visiting or go ride bicycle.
We have the choice to give them a better childhood without the gadgets or limit the time spend on using the gadgets.
But now with the education system being so stressful is hard to do it but an hour or 2 a day bring them out to enjoy themselves be it playing at the playground or walking in the park it helps to de stress. -
Eh, I remember I spent a lot of time studying too when I was a kid le. So I don't think my kids are that deprived or worst off le. In fact, they had it easier than I do. I wish my parents had the resources so that I could learn more things such as swimming, drawing & music when I was a kid. Always tell my kids I would be very happy to trade place with them. They agreed they've an easier life than me, so they aren't complaining :evil:
-
Thanks for sharing.
-
sleepy:
Eh, I remember I spent a lot of time studying too when I was a kid le. So I don't think my kids are that deprived or worst off le. In fact, they had it easier than I do. I wish my parents had the resources so that I could learn more things such as swimming, drawing & music when I was a kid. Always tell my kids I would be very happy to trade place with them. They agreed they've an easier life than me, so they aren't complaining :evil:
haha...I am so so surprised to hear someone who feels the same as me. My children know how much I envy them. They enjoyed their childhood and are enjoying their teenage years now.
On the other hand, I also agree with the author of the article as I notice some children are quite stressed by academic work from a very young age. As parents, we need to constantly remind ourselves what is important and beneficial to the children in the long term. -
good article............but for many parents, very hard not to push their kids in reallity.
i just pray that our kids here do not have to go thru what kids in hong kong, china, india (remember the documentary show in channel newsasia about schools in these countries).
kids have to be multi-talented to get into good primary school (be it private or govt schools). you cannot have just 10 awards, you must have more and how many more, no one knows. if the kid after you, has one more certificate (even teeth brushing competition) than you, you are out of the race.
kids have to attend multi enrichments (worse than what we have in spore), compeition (must win okay not just participation cert), parents go for prep course to prepare themselves for interviews as well. wow the list goes on and on. no wonder enrichment schools in hk and china are booming business.........
:sad: now just have to see how my kids fare in mid year....... -
felt very sad for the kids today.. :sad:
-
pinky:
felt very sad for the kids today.. :sad:
I feel tired for them. :sad:
I played a lot.....and in fact, forgot almost everything I learnt & sometimes can't even remember if I had learnt them before. Wonder how I passed PSLE.
This generation, their workload is sooooo much more. There are many times....I dozed off while waiting for them to finish up their schoolwork, I pity them -
BeContented:
When I was in primary school, I played five stones , hop scotch, zero thousand points and catching during recess time or before school starts. I was always excited about school and urged my dad to bring me to school as early as possible cos I could not wait to play with my friends.pinky:
felt very sad for the kids today.. :sad:
I feel tired for them. :sad:
I played a lot.....and in fact, forgot almost everything I learnt & sometimes can't even remember if I had learnt them before. Wonder how I passed PSLE.
This generation, their workload is sooooo much more. There are many times....I dozed off while waiting for them to finish up their schoolwork, I pity them
Now my DD told me some of her schoolmates are doing revision
And homework during recess ! :faint: I was like :whut: :slapshead: