Mummy insider: Newbie Preschool Insider Reporting
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ks2me:
I hope society is really moving towards accepting this special group of children. As far as my experiences are concerned in the preschool industry, these children (not those violent types but with milder symptoms which can be integrated into mainstream) are not welcomed by some parents and probably due to parental 'guidance', shunned by their 'normal' children too...
In our school they are in our midst and special attention are given to them and no one has ever made any complaints. In fact they are treated well.
May there be love and peace in the world... -
Haha…autumnbronze…any thought that one believes strongly can be shared as usually there will be people agreeing or disagreeing with it. Thanks for sharing your story!
I read Pinochio (in Chinese) during my primary school years. I didn’t really understand the significance of Jiminy Cricket in the story then. It was only when I re-read the story to my kids that I went into a ‘Ahhh…so this is the meaning of the Cricket” mode when I reflected on my own life journey and sort of ‘internalised’ the concept of ‘cricket’ in me.
Life to me is never about black or white but with many grey areas, such as giving the children the best doesn’t mean the best and having them ‘suffering’ doesn’t mean we are doing them any disservice; such as perfection maybe a flaw by itself; such as right can be wrong sometimes (like trying to argue with one’s own old parents / in-laws to the extent of win the battle but lose the war), etc. Under all upbringing and ongoing conditions, everyone has a ‘cricket’ in them and it is to what extent this cricket will grow from our nurturing of it through own experiences and to what extent we want to listen to that cricket to decide on matters big or small…
Pinochio is a good story…
PS: When I observe people who has a ‘big cricket’ in them, usually these people have happier lives, regardless of their education backgrounds and amounts of income. My analysis is maybe these people have better EQ that can make them happy regardless of situations. It seems like currently my daughter’s cricket is bigger than my eldest son and I have to wait to see what kind of emotional future is ahead of them… -
I think it’s not nice to question about WeiHan’s sexual orientation just because he may have a deeper interest in the homosexual issues than an average person, just like I am not a suicidal person though one of my areas of interest is on suicide. I speaking for the homosexuals doesn’t mean I am one or I will encourage my children to be one either.
I feel we have to interpret the words ‘normal’ and ‘natural’ in a deeper sense instead of literally. If homosexuals are indeed biological, then from that perspective, they are normal and natural in that biological sense (instead of comparing them with the ‘normal/natural’ general population and label them ‘abnormal/unnatural’); just like special needs children may have some hormone imbalance or neurological issues and they are ‘normal’ and ‘natural’ from that perspective when we study their behaviours and sensitive ones will not call them ‘abnormal/unnatural’ (if we want to compare them with the general population, they are indeed ‘abnormal/unnatural’?).
Those homosexuals who are so due to the biological make-up are the ‘natural’ ones while those who are being influenced and tried to be one are those ‘unnatural’ ones. In my opinion, most belong to the ‘natural’ category (as far as those less than a dozen of homosexuals whom I know is concerned).
PS: cluelessmom shared something that hit me to also share that sometimes I came across more ‘girly’ boy preschoolers. They look more like girls than boys (in terms of pretty) and they behave much more gentle They prefer girls’ play than boys’. More crude classmates will call them ‘girly’, ‘sissy’, ‘don’t play with him’, ‘you go play with the girls’, etc. Sometimes insensitive teachers would also mock at these ‘girly’ boys and utter insensitive words. These crude remarks are likely to escalate when these boys enter the primary schools, secondary schools, etc, if they don’t ‘mend’ their ways. All these words hurt regardless of the sexual orientation of these boys… (but if girls are rough then don’t have such issues. So unfair…) As a true educator, one should protect these children instead of making them feel that they are inferior, ‘abnormal’, etc. -
If those thoughts do not paralyse her routine, it maybe a good sign actually to start pondering on such issues, reading more about them, and coming to her own conclusion a few years later and be ‘enlightened’ from thereon (it may take several years for them to get over such BIG issues).
My daughter used to be quite pessimistic about the world, lamenting about how human are damaging the earth and how the earth may come to an end and about not to have her own children as the environmental future is not conducive and promising at all for the future generations. I talk to her about my own optimism in life (“Life is Beautiful!”) and she goes on to read more about environmental issues / religions / etc. She is basically an 'environmentalist" who recently changed her ambition to be a scientist who will study ‘algae energy’ (something like this about converting plant cells to fuels). So now her focus is not so much of the world is coming to an end but how to make the world last longer…
Not every teenager will ponder over such issues as many are happy-go-lucky kinds who live their lives on each day / week / month basis (different temperament). If she tells my son “You keep wasting waster and electricity, the world is coming to an end”, my son will probably answer, “aiya, never mind lah, all will die together, ok wat?” -
None in my family is big size with the exception of my daughter.
Looking at my husband’s side, ALL the women in his house have big hips (more ‘pear’ shape) and ‘stronger’ arms and so I deduced probably is a ‘skipped generation’ kind of gene that is in her.
She was small when young (born a 3.25 kg baby) and all the way up to around P5 was still slim. When she hit puberty age, she started to sort of ‘balloon’ with her thighs, arms, hips, shoulders, all growing towards the big size category (to the extent of having stretch marks. Her knee cap is about twice my size!)
She is conscious about that of course. She chooses to eat lesser nowadays, on machine (Flabelos) daily for about 20 to 30 minutes, and goes to weekly hot yoga. She DOESN’T exercise (knowing exercising is good is one thing but LAZINESS is another thing). She maybe able to shed some fats through these but she knows there is nothing much she can do with her big bones structure.
Her shape seems to be getting better now but I know if hers is really a gene issue, then anytime she can go back to her big size shape if she slacks in her routine… -
Muffins:
I mean, look at Adam Lambert... He is so famous because of this, his albums are really selling! His voice is good too....
Ya, my son is a fan of him too and knows that he is a homosexual.
Think my son is taking this sexual orientation of Adam as part of his profile on top of his good vocal; something that he may learn about his other favorite singers such as left handedness, having six fingers, etc.
Muffins, though I think my son (15 years old) may want to have Adam's vocal but I don't think he will want to 'imitate' his homosexuality. You think you will be influenced by him and change your sexual orientation by the most remote chance or you have friends whom you think like him and may imitate him in this area? Auntie Insider would like to hear from your point of view when you are free to write.
Study hard and play hard! -
ks2me:
Muffin's post about Adam Lambert in my eyes is a very innocent one but it sort of illicited a relative sharp response from you (in my eyes your response is a sharp one). You know that he is only 13 and so I don't think he deserves a sharp reply like that from an adult.self, given all the discussion that has been going on in a matured fashion. We should spare Muffin who is only 13? to think about such issues when he should be focusing on his studies, actually exam is just round the corner. We should ask him again at 25YO.
You may want to call 'a spade is a spade' (as in your reply) but in my opinion, when engaging the young ones, we must try to hear from them, and the 'spade' should preferably come from them after their own thinking and own analysis instead of being force sold by us (things that are force sold by parents usually will get only surface compliance). We don't shut children out. We hear them out.
I don't think I'd asked Muffin a difficult question of whether he will be influenced by Adam. I did consider his age carefully before I asked him that question, a question that I will also ask my children when they were of the same age (I am afterall trained in this area). Of course I also understand when Muffin replied he wouldn't, that doesn't mean the whole world of children wouldn't. It was just a casual survey that's all.
I suggest you read through the latest sex ed by MOE as posted by WeiHan (thanks WeiHan for this latest version) designed by FOTF. Read those suggested ages of children that parents should talk about certain 'level' of sex with them.
Nowadays teenagers are so 'knowledgeable' when sex is concerned (they get data from here, there, and everywhere and they have to digest and form an opinion / moral value for themselves)... don't 'small see' them... -
smurf:
a friend is getting married and asked me to be her bridemaid, is it ok to do that since me already married? :?
Traditionally, if this is the bride's first marriage, her bridesmaid has to be a single (signifying that all are 'virgins' / purity though we know singles don't mean virgins nowadays).
If it the bride's subsequent marriage/s, then anyone can.
Depending on how tight you want to toe the line and follow tradition...
PS: Same applies to the choice of best man... -
google a bit and can find quite a lot of info about bridesmaid, incl the big one of a lady should not be bridesmaid for more than 3 times otherwise will spoil her own chance of finding a partner...
I have a friend whom mum is very superstitious kind. Both bridesmaid's and best man's 'ba zi' need to tally with the brides and bridegroom so that they will not 'cheong' each other.
Tradition...if really want to toe to the line, can be never ending...
结过婚的人为什么不可以做伴郎伴娘?
从东方观点来看,伴娘伴郎没有结婚,就都是童男童女,这样显得新人的婚姻更加纯洁美好,从西方观点来看,伴郎伴娘都将会是下一个结婚或者马上要结婚的人,使得此次的婚礼多了一重美好的寓意。所以一般来讲,伴郎伴娘都是未婚人士
source
http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/108879245.html?fr=qrl&cid=876&index=1 -
smurf:
hmm, then what about jie mei? are jie mei same as bridemaid?? :?
Bridesmaid is the 'gang leader' of the Jie Meiss... (basically they are about the same but the Chief is 'bigger' in a way).smurf:
think used the wrong word here. Not so much of 'tally' but ba zi cannot cheong...wah, how to find such match with ba zi must tally even for bridemaid and bridegroom? :lol:
Side track a bit about ba zi. I recently participated in one of my close friends 'moving in of a house' ceremony. The time of opening the main door is fixed by the Feng Shui master, including which Chinese horoscope with what kind of ba zi should be present and should not be present... The old folks... (but I do respect their particular about this kind of things since to them moving in a house is a really major ceremony).
Going back to a married woman be a bridesmaid. For me I will politely decline as some people said may affect the long term happiness of the couple. If nothing happens between the couple then OK but if something later not right, then say who asked you to get that married woman as a bridesmaid? Aiya, fan si ren...
One of my best friends of 30 years plus also getting next month. I will 闹洞房 but will stay out of her 'standard' ceremony but my gang of other single friends will accompany her all the way. So difficult for her to find a husband and so I better 'pantang' a bit as a form of my best wishes to her... -
smurf:
Thanks mummies (and daddy) for sharing.
if your friend's and her husband's family are Christians, then can dispense all these ma-fan superstition... -
When my sec son came back from his neighbourhood school with a donation card, I supported it and encouraged him to build the ‘thickness’ of his skin to go canvass for donation.
when my sec girl came back with the same from her elite school, I told her I am not supportive of the donation drive (really get irritated by those minimum amount stated in the card) along with other explanation of my disapproval (such as her school is nice enough, her school has a strong alumni with many rich and successful people; and my belief that her school is actually very rich).
I wrote a letter and put it inside an envelope together with the donation card and asked her to pass to her teacher. basically in my letter I told the teacher that I do not want my kid to participate in the fund raising activity. Period…
PS: My daughter talked to me about how could she not participating when the rest of the class were. I told her to think about it as a matter of principle and get over her unnecessary guilt or shame that others want to impose on her and I think she got it subsequently…
PS2: also got very irritated when my daughter said the teacher said “all students MUST…”. During annual Teacher’s Day, all students MUST contribute food OR money. I put down two crosses in her form and asked her to hand it up (along with other discussion with her). Why MUST coz can’t assume that ALL students come from financially comfortable families. Money sucker school in my opinion. No reply from her teachers at all but if they so insist their MUST, then I will transfer my daughter out for sure… -
Extracted from autumnbronze's post (I am learning):
I am learning –
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done, when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I don't profess to be a 'hero' but if parents think that things are not right, then have to share with their children the reasons for being so (if the kids are too young, such as P1, to understand the complexities of some issues, then can explain in a very brief form with them and front the school directly). Parents, if can, also should stand up against the issue that irk them by at least boycotting it.
Most of the time the trend of everyone is doing and so I must follow makes me sick (my another strong disapproval of expensive Europe 'immersion' trip that benefits only the rich and not those who cannot afford). I think teachers in schools also stressed by donation targets and they maybe very happy if more parents can come forward to boycott donations, esp those unnecessary ones. This will probably give the teachers some bullets to front their principal with a remote chance of killing the vicious cycle. Instead of being 'black marked' by the teachers, your child maybe viewed as a 'hero' (anyway, I don't care about this).
I always advocate the bringing up of 'thinking' children i/o complying ones. I dislike 'Yes', 'Yes', 'Yes' kind of people, young or old included... -
seanray:
Mab0oLine:
Anyone heard of Little Tree House at Ubi Techpark??
Hi there,
I am searching for a pre-school for my little one too and chance upon Little Tree House.
Anyway have you visited them and what's your opinion?
thanks,
Ray
Thot little tree house (ubi) oredi got makan by another brand? (what I can recall but may not be true). -
My current 35 years old Indonesia maid has been with me for about 4 years plus. She is not a very ‘clever’ kind of maid but good enough for me.
Her cleanliness in terms of housekeeping is about 60%. My mum and sisters can’t stand her ‘sloppiness’ and more than once asked me to change (my mum and sisters are those who use hands to mop floor kind and I am that kind who can accept vacuum and mop though my maid always misses the corners).
Her attentiveness to my youngest son (whom she helps to take care since he was about 2 years old) is 50% (she can’t be trusted to bring my son to the pool or to the playground as she is likely to lose sight of him when she is busy with her listening of music or reading of her book).
Her washing of laundry is about 65%. She uses washing machines to wash even her own clothes (but she knows to separate our clothes from hers as well as men’s clothes from ladies’ clothes, etc) and despite I told her must scrub the collars before putting the clothes into the machine, it seems like she does not follow such instruction but for that I choose to close one eye.
Her ironing skill is 65%. For clothes for important occasions, I re-iron myself. I don’t bug her for not ironing school uniforms not as nice as I would have done it myself.
Under my mum’s training, she can cook relatively OK (nothing as compared to my mum’s cooking but about 40%). Everyday, we have hot meals at home. She will also follow instructions of making my green bean soup, red bean soup, sweet potato soup, jelly, 雪蛤,chrysanthemum, etc, diligently nowadays without me having to tell her to make (it’s a ‘routine’ in the house). For that, I am very very thankful of her. She doesn’t take pork but doesn’t mind to handle pork (if she minds, then my house will simply don’t eat pork so at the same time can cut red meats). We have very strict table manners at home to only use serving spoons / chopsticks to take individual plate of food so that the pork dish will not ‘contaminate’ her other non-pork food. She is very thankful for our consideration of that (my youngest son will complain if anyone of us accidentally uses the pork-dish serving spoon to touch other food and if that happens, we will tell her that that particular dish has been ‘contaminated’).
Every night, she will put on her Muslim gown and pray in my daughter’s room, even when the kids are in the room. My daughter is sensitive enough to shoo my youngest son away when he wants to disturb her during her prayer. I instructed my kids to leave her alone when she is in her prayer (I encourage anyone to be religious since a religious person is more likely to be good than bad).
She is a talkative person and enjoys striking conversation with me sometimes. She shares with me the ‘happenings’ of neighbouring maids (who and who got sent away, pregnant, no food to eat, etc) as well as the ‘happenings’ in my neighbours’ houses (which house has grandparents, which house husband and wife cannot get along, etc, etc). She talks about her Allah also. I exchange with her as much as I can (though I wonder how much she had shared with her kakis about the happenings in my house).
My kids can get along well with her (she learnt to play Chinese chess from my youngest son = her IQ quite OK) and I am satisfied with her in general. Her spoken English is very broken but I don’t fault her with that coz if get me to learn Malay, probably my spoken Malay will be ‘more broken’ than her English. Under her, my youngest son can understand simple Malay (those numbers and daily vocab of bathing, drinking, etc).
Recently, she complaint about abdominal pain and she was diagnosed with fibroid. She is worried about cancer. I printed out some info about fibroid and asked her not to be too worried as since most are harmless as long as it doesn’t grow to too big a size. She is also worried about medical cost that I assured her that I will foot for her in the event that she really needs an operation while still under my employment.
I don’t know how long she will still work for me. She told me she hope to return to Indonesia in another 4 years time (she has a 15 years old son at home) and runs a small food stall business.
Sharing about my maid as suddenly have this feeling of gratitude towards her when she lightens my house chores so much that I can afford the luxury of time to type here, go play mahjong, etc… -
cluelessmom:
Wondering if u had any recommendation for a very basic easy-to-comprehend buddhist literature tat captures the essence of Buddhism?
Sorry didn't reply promptly as I try to give you a more meaningful reply than a one or two liners...
Emmm….so far I have not come across books that meet your needs… Those books that I am reading (mostly 经书with explanation) I find them ‘dry’ myself but OK lah for my level.
My daughter’s first religious book is a Children Bible given by my friend when she was about 7 (she still has the book). She read it like a storybook. As she grows, she picks up religious knowledge from here and there with me sharing with her verbally about my knowledge of Buddhism (important aspects of Karma and Reincarnation). I didn’t really pass to her any Buddhism books for reading (but all those books are on my bookshelves) until about a month ago when I grabbed a book from Guangzhou that I finished reading it on the plane.
The book is雪中足迹:圣严法师自传(the original of this book is in English – “Footprints in the Snow”)。圣严法师is a very respected monk in Taiwan who passed away last year. I find the book very easy to read (like a story) and realized two things interesting from reading:
1. that Buddhists actually also sort of ‘speak in tongue’. This is something that I never know until 圣严法师said that once he was chanting and all of a sudden, he could chant in ancient language (extremists from other religion will say he possessed by ‘demonic power’. What rubbish!). My understanding of this is he might have some past lives during the ancient times that he ever chanted and so when he was in a deep concentration, his subconscious was awaken that enabled to chant in ancient language.
2. When I was in my NLP training, the master told us something abstract about we must have positive thinking (“If you think you can, you can!” Sound familiar but the actual concept of this is not easy to understand). The NLP master talked about positive thinking will attract positive cosmic ions that will make things happen. During that time, I was sort of half-understand, half don’t understand; half believe, half suspect; half serious, half cynical (but in my other psychology training also talked about similar things). After reading certain part of the book, I went ‘Aha...’ when I connected this ‘positive’ thinking with the 因and果of Buddhism.
Basically, 圣严法师preached that all of us have some positive/negative 因and果. Some good guys don’t get rewarded or some bad guys don’t get punished as a result of sometimes the 因 is not matured yet. One of the ways to make the 因matures is to ‘think’ positively about something (or praying hard for that something). If the 因 is there in the first place, then the things you asked for will materialize else no matter how hard you think or how hard you pray = no use. As we don’t know whether we have the 因 in us in the first place, the least we can do is to ‘think’ and ‘pray’ as if you don’t do that, the 因 is unlikely to mature (even if it is really there) and may be carried forward to some other times. Similarly if one has a negative因 in them and they think negatively, such as “I worry my son will get into an accident” and really worry sick. If there’s a negative因 in the first place, such negative thinking will mature the negative因 and the son may really get into an accident. The essence of my understanding of one of the particular paragraph is this: THINK POSITIVELY AND THROW AWAY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS! (I may have interpreted it wrongly though). So reading the book sort of solved the mystery of the 'cosmic ions' as mentioned by my NLP master (who is an Australian).
Anyway, my daughter enjoyed reading the book and finished within 3 hours. She may not have the same kind of understand like what I have from reading but she got to see the power of a religious calling through the tough life of 圣严法师. Actually after reading, she told me that she will no longer stop me if one day I want to be a nun as she can understand that power of calling and so I may if I want to (I used to share with her about my dream of being a nun after the kids are independent and she was like ‘No! No! No! You must stay with me!” in the past. She was afraid of not being to call me \"mummy\" anymore with the last such exchange about three or four months ago). That reading achieved more than what I have asked for!
One of the most famous quotes of 圣严法师:
面对它,接受它,处理它,放下它
This has always been the way I try to deal with life in all sorts of difficult situations, then life can really move on and one can go further and happier.
PS: Sorry didn’t really answer your question. But basically I feel verbal exchanges with your kids is important and role modeling too. Buddhism is always about compassion and if in every teaching moment we teach our children compassion, it is quite easy to explain Buddhism to them. My eldest son doesn’t read a book on Buddhism (his Chinese standard is not good enough) but he has quite a good concept of Karma and Reincarnation. For myself, my dream is to really go into deeper study of Buddhism and be a nun… -
Chinese will sure…
to lose its ground…
slowly…
but surely…
coz…
seems like our cabinet…
has many supposedly ‘leaders’…
who eat only potatoes and therefore…
they themselves…
and their kids…
cannot do well…
in Chinese…
so…
Chinese kena…
So, unless…
we can change some of these ‘leaders’…
else we just have to accept…
the slow mutation…
of Chinese… -
Way2GO:
Sounds like a rallying call leh, insider
election coming? :lol:
Heeheehee...not rallying call lah... coz think most opposition parties also eat potato people (don't think here got good bilingual people in the politics). Think PAP wants to recruit such people also No Have (scholars are picked and trained by them and most scholars are potato people = vicious cycle...) -
I was riding on the MRT last week. Comfortably seated in a row of 7 with opposite 7 seats all occupied.
Feeling bored and so started to observe people. Among the 14 pax, I saw three couples that I believed are Chinese wives and local husbands. This observation set my mind thinking that if this is the trend to go:
1.\tour local girls may really have to look elsewhere for husbands
2.\tin future, the ‘local’ females will be made up of mostly of ladies of China origin
3.\tour Chinese standard actually will survive if that happens (‘imported Chinese’)!
PS: Off topic: I was talking to a male friend few days back and we were talking about local girls. He was telling me that he is going to retire in Thailand a few years later to buy a big piece of land to build his dream house and that he hopes his son will marry a Thai Chinese, a Filipino Chinese, a Chinese Chinese, an Indonesian Chinese, or a Vietnamese Chinese but not a Singaporean. His comment is such that marrying a local girl is 自找苦吃 – too intelligent and highly argumentative / demanding and if marrying this kind of girl might as well stay single and remain ‘peaceful’. Set my mind thinking… -
There is a sense of sadness whenever I visit Chinatown. I have seen its day when it was full of ‘flavour’. The potato people reformed it to be sort of like a 四不像。 For the newer Chinese generation who has not seen Chinatown in its prime time, they would not understand my sense of sadness. It’s a distinct identity that has got de-rooted and gone forever that cannot be restored back.
The journey of our learning of Chinese is the same. Reform and reform and reform and at the end it’s probably another 四不像。