Marriage & Parenthood Package

[janet88]

If hubby and I are swayed to have another cute bundle, the $8K bonus is really red packet…will help to buy diapers and milk powder. We love our 2 kids, but do not have the energy nor can spread our attention at the age of 46 and 41 respectively to have #3.

[pirate]

3Boys:

Since no one is interested I guess they should just save the money instead.

Uhmmm... Yesh! Just the tweak on distribution of HDB flats to give priority to families with kids will do.

If one places more importance on career than on having kids, no amount of baby bonus is going to make a dent on that decision.

[Rational_Parent]

winchester:

Funz:

But at the end of the day, the biggest hurdle will be the people's mindset.

yes, i know of close friends, they earn $30k a month combined, they don't want kids as they say raising kids v expensive. ???? i think personally it is mindset and excuse that ppl say raising kids too expensive in singapore. couples want to keep their affluence lifestyle and have time for themselves without children.

You may choose to see it as an excuse for those who see raising kids as expensive but you cannot deny that many would love to have more kids if given the right circumstances. And you cannot deny that what is inexpensive to you does not mean it had to be the same for others.

More often it has little to do with couples wanting to keep an affluence lifestyle but more of what they can give to their beloved children in terms of education, tuition, attention, love, and quality time to name a few. If couples are kept busy with their careers in their struggle to support their family then some level of sacrifices would have to be made. So to you it might be a mindset thing but to others it is more about deriving an ideal balance. The intangible aspects of having children sometimes outweigh the tangible but pragmatism often prevails.

No doubt the government is trying to boost birth rate and one has to give credit when credit is due. Anything that could help a couple to have kids cannot be a bad thing. However, many chose to view this as short-term incentive that will not compensate for the high living cost going forward. So here is it not a mindset thing but a fear for the welfare of their kids, unfounded or otherwise.

The tough thing is that the government cannot guarantee or even maintain the same standard of living for each and every citizen. This is understandable. But such incentive is always welcome although it may not or did not draw a loud cheer.

[Funz]

janet_lee88:

Honestly, work life balance is quite bullsh!@. Sorry to say this.

Men are breadwinners...if they take a backseat, their careers will suffer.

It is not bullsh!t. It is about deciding what is your priority.

Work life balance starts with yourself. Though the company and the govt does play a part, ultimately, to achieve that, it has to come from yourself. What are you willing to give up to have that balance?

[janet88]

Funz:

janet_lee88:

Honestly, work life balance is quite bullsh!@. Sorry to say this.

Men are breadwinners...if they take a backseat, their careers will suffer.

It is not bullsh!t. It is about deciding what is your priority.

Work life balance starts with yourself. Though the company and the govt does play a part, ultimately, to achieve that, it has to come from yourself. What are you willing to give up to have that balance?

Much as hubby wants to spend time coaching kids, it is not possible...leaving office at 7pm is quite impossible. Even if he does, he has to continue working at home till 10/11 pm.

[Funz]

janet_lee88:

Funz:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]Honestly, work life balance is quite bullsh!@. Sorry to say this.

Men are breadwinners...if they take a backseat, their careers will suffer.

It is not bullsh!t. It is about deciding what is your priority.

Work life balance starts with yourself. Though the company and the govt does play a part, ultimately, to achieve that, it has to come from yourself. What are you willing to give up to have that balance?

Much as hubby wants to spend time coaching kids, it is not possible...leaving office at 7pm is quite impossible. Even if he does, he has to continue working at home till 10/11 pm.[/quote]You know your situation best.

Is it truly really impossible to make it a point to leave at 6 or 7pm 1 or 2 days a week? If one does not make that a commitment, it is easy to let other immediate matters take over, whether or not those matters are urgent and requiring immediate attention. If one is constantly operating on an urgent and important mode, something is very wrong somewhere.

There is no end to work. If there is an end, it will be scary as it means you will be out of a job. So at some point, one has to decide what takes precedence, that pile of work or something else.

[janet88]

Yes Funz,

Something is wrong somewhere. When hubby had eye op and was on 3 weeks hospitalization leave, he was still called even though he cannot see. Sorry off topic...but the point is that, work life balance looks nice on paper but not in reality. I always ask hubby if it is necessary to work till so late...it's scary when he is on MC and questioned if that MC from EYE CENTRE is fake :rant: Gosh, it's follow up with eye doctor.

[pirate]

Yes janet_lee88, there is a problem. The problem is your DH's boss. That's where the problem is.

[3Boys]

Funz:

janet_lee88:

[quote=\"Funz\"]
It is not bullsh!t. It is about deciding what is your priority.

Work life balance starts with yourself. Though the company and the govt does play a part, ultimately, to achieve that, it has to come from yourself. What are you willing to give up to have that balance?

Much as hubby wants to spend time coaching kids, it is not possible...leaving office at 7pm is quite impossible. Even if he does, he has to continue working at home till 10/11 pm.

You know your situation best.

Is it truly really impossible to make it a point to leave at 6 or 7pm 1 or 2 days a week? If one does not make that a commitment, it is easy to let other immediate matters take over, whether or not those matters are urgent and requiring immediate attention. If one is constantly operating on an urgent and important mode, something is very wrong somewhere.

There is no end to work. If there is an end, it will be scary as it means you will be out of a job. So at some point, one has to decide what takes precedence, that pile of work or something else.[/quote]Ummm...janet, I don't think your husband would be different from many working men. If someone is working 12 hour days every day for years on end, it comes down to choice.

Often I am out of the office at 5.30, with my kids from 6.30 to 9.30, then work on to midnight if I have to. Once a week I have dinner out with the DW, kids can manage themselves. It's a matter of prioritisation and time management. I occasionally lapse into that mode of the working man that stays late in the office for days on end without seeing the family. It gets into a comfortable routine and suddenly my workload expands to fill the time I have now created for it. On the other hand, if I say I leave sharp at 5.30, suddenly I am forced to prioritize my work better and be more focused.

If you are facing work life issues, rather than blame the environment, how about you have a conversation with your husband instead? If he is giving you excuses maybe you need to put your foot down.

My DW and I have busy careers, and work life balance is eminently achievable. In fact, it is essential, non-negotiable.

[3Boys]

janet_lee88:

Yes Funz,

Something is wrong somewhere. When hubby had eye op and was on 3 weeks hospitalization leave, he was still called even though he cannot see. Sorry off topic...but the point is that, work life balance looks nice on paper but not in reality. I always ask hubby if it is necessary to work till so late...it's scary when he is on MC and questioned if that MC from EYE CENTRE is fake :rant: Gosh, it's follow up with eye doctor.

Time to find a new boss.