All About Bullying

[Flowermonaster]

My goodness! Did you tell the bully off? How is the boy? I will definitely go red & stop the bully!

[smartmummy]

Flowermonaster:

My goodness! Did you tell the bully off? How is the boy? I will definitely go red & stop the bully!

I scared and other parents around.Nobody didn't say anything.Then we left the playground, I saw he brought his father to the playground.

[Flowermonaster]

smartmummy:

Flowermonaster:

My goodness! Did you tell the bully off? How is the boy? I will definitely go red & stop the bully!

I scared and other parents around.Nobody didn't say anything.Then we left the playground, I saw he brought his father to the playground.

I know what you mean. My DH always say I'm very impulsive. I act without thinking & some times the outcome is not desirable. But if I used my brain to think and then walk away, I will always feel guilty for not doing something. Either way, I will feel angry with myself! :slapshead: :sad:

[nissin]

shn:

Wonder what's kids doing in school nowadays?

P3 \"jio\" to fight in school.
Jus a 20 minutes break......
Recently my son came back telling me that,
A big bully went fighting and pin down some of his classmates in school.
Some were being kicked on tummy some being pin down on floor to kick and punch.
Poor smaller build size kids went home telling .......
Mummy it hurt here!
What will u do? :stompfeet:
Ya . Go to school to confront. :mad:
BUT

Conclusion....... From the school.......
:imsorry: I will seriously look into that matter......
Dayssssssss after.........
I had already counsel the kid, and the parents were being informed.

My point is, the BIG BULLY, after bullied the poor helpless kids, was being counsel and NO MORE!!!
Is that the way how the school discipline the kids nowadays?
Does that means that kids have to fight back otherwise they sure lose out?
Oh ........ :slapshead:

What will you do if your child being beaten up?

Seriously if we are in your shoes, we will not just let it be. If the school decides that they will just counsel the child, I think that's not enough. If I am in your situation (as my hubby is the type who does not like to see his kids being bullied), we will request to meet the bully's parents(must be sure that our kid is not in the wrong la). We need to let the parents know we are very disturbed abt the incident and I will make sure the bully apologise to my kid in front of us!
Being bullied is not a nice feeling and we do not want our kids to feel \"wei qu\" - suffer in silence.

I can still remember very vividly I was being bullied by a boy when I was in kindy. I cried as I felt terrible and frightened(adults will not understand this kind of feeling as they think its a small matter and the kid will not remember it when they grow older). I went home crying and told my parents what had happened and my dad immediately brought me to the bully's plc to speak to his parents. The bully apologised and I felt so relieved and was extremely proud of my daddy as \"justice\" is done. It meant the world to me at that time u know?! haha

[cnimed]

I think when we teach children that bullying is wrong, we must also show them with our actions that bullying is wrong. This means stepping in appropriately when we see others being bullied. If we step in with the acknowledgement that both parties are children and we simply do not want anyone to get hurt, I think other parents will not be so offended. It will be much worse if one child is beaten up and end up in hospital.


I also don’t believe in being a sitting duck. I don’t tell my son he cannot fight back, but I tell him he can and SHOULD defend himself, but he should never be the one to start the fight, and he should not attack. I also tell him that physical force is the last resort, and the best is to use words, or seek an adult’s help.

DS1 was "bullied" in preschool, poked in the eyes and ears, and it went on for a few weeks without anyone knowing until I saw bleeding scratch marks on him. Both parties were so young, I really didn’t blame the other boy. It did leave a psychological scar and ds1 had nightmares and started hitting his younger brother. So we had to handle that one with a lot of role-modelling and sent him for TKD to boost his confidence.

Recently he was bullied again by a much older boy. He was grabbed by the neck and pushed to the floor of the bus. I could tell something was wrong when the bus arrived because there was a deadly silence instead of the usual singing and shouting. He cried and cried after the bus dropped him off and didn’t walk home by himself. I had to go and fetch him and calm him down. What saved the day was an older bus mate who looked for him the next day and took him to lodge a complaint. DS1 said proudly,"Can you imagine mum? SEVEN of us walking round the school looking for Mr xxx?" He felt the camaraderie and support from the older boys and the issue was handled well without any physical punishment or shaming. DS1 even told me,"He (the boy who had grabbed his neck) is actually quite a nice boy!" and that they all sang together on the way home. I think if the school had been harsher, it would have prevented the children from making up.

DH and I are of course grateful to the older boy who took the initiative to put things right. We tell DS1 that just as this boy had looked out for him, he must also look out for those younger and weaker than him.

[Chenonceau]

deminc:

I think when we teach children that bullying is wrong, we must also show them with our actions that bullying is wrong. This means stepping in appropriately when we see others being bullied. If we step in with the acknowledgement that both parties are children and we simply do not want anyone to get hurt, I think other parents will not be so offended. It will be much worse if one child is beaten up and end up in hospital.


I also don't believe in being a sitting duck. I don't tell my son he cannot fight back, but I tell him he can and SHOULD defend himself, but he should never be the one to start the fight, and he should not attack. I also tell him that physical force is the last resort, and the best is to use words, or seek an adult's help.

DS1 was \"bullied\" in preschool, poked in the eyes and ears, and it went on for a few weeks without anyone knowing until I saw bleeding scratch marks on him. Both parties were so young, I really didn't blame the other boy. It did leave a psychological scar and ds1 had nightmares and started hitting his younger brother. So we had to handle that one with a lot of role-modelling and sent him for TKD to boost his confidence.

Recently he was bullied again by a much older boy. He was grabbed by the neck and pushed to the floor of the bus. I could tell something was wrong when the bus arrived because there was a deadly silence instead of the usual singing and shouting. He cried and cried after the bus dropped him off and didn't walk home by himself. I had to go and fetch him and calm him down. What saved the day was an older bus mate who looked for him the next day and took him to lodge a complaint. DS1 said proudly,\"Can you imagine mum? SEVEN of us walking round the school looking for Mr xxx?\" He felt the camaraderie and support from the older boys and the issue was handled well without any physical punishment or shaming. DS1 even told me,\"He (the boy who had grabbed his neck) is actually quite a nice boy!\" and that they all sang together on the way home. I think if the school had been harsher, it would have prevented the children from making up.

DH and I are of course grateful to the older boy who took the initiative to put things right. We tell DS1 that just as this boy had looked out for him, he must also look out for those younger and weaker than him.

Thank you for sharing. This almost made me cry. Especially the part where your son was too distraught to go home by himself and he cried and cried and cried.

I think you handled it well. Whilst I am normally very well-controlled when I myself meet with bullies (because I have learnt to handle them), my blood pressure goes way up and I start to hyperventilate when it's my kids or my husband who gets the nastiness from nasty people.

I still bear a grudge towards the girl who was commended in class for an essay that she copied almost word for word from my daughter. Luckily, my daughter handled it well. My hair stands when I see the bully who terrorised my son in P3.

I know it would've been wrong but if I were you, I would've made a few calls and complained. I would have arranged to see the parents of the boy. I would have completely lost it to see my son so hurt that he could not even walk home. Maybe.... even though I know there is a smarter way to handle it.

[Nebbermind]

perhaps it's coz everyone here have diff experience and tolerance and so we will not be able to agree on everything.


Eg, my own experience tells me that boys are very rough and reckless. They can be playing and then a shove here, a swing there --> bruise on the face, nose bloodied. They usually managed to sort it out somehow...few days later they will be best of friends again. Someone ever mentioned....sometimes this boys looked like they r fighting, but in fact they r just fooling around....just that they r very rough. :evil:

Of course, it's really up to your comfort zone.

BTW, even name-calling can be bullying....just have to teach your child how to handle it....after all, chillun will be chillun...I've gone thru all that....did u not??

[nissin]

insider:

My P2 son’s teacher called me about two weeks back, telling me that he bullied a girl with another Boy X till the girl cried and that I should counsel him to stop the bullying.


The teacher called me in front of my P2 son.

That day after he was back home, he was more quiet than usual (usually he will have a bright “Hey Mom, I am home!” when he sees me after returning home). I smiled at him.

He went for his shower and then we all sat together for dinner.

I asked him casually why Ms XXX was so upset that she had to call me.

He told me that Boy X teased Girl A and Boy B that they were ‘boyfriend /
girlfriend’. Girl A was not happy and kept asking Boy X to stop. My son
said he KNOWS Boy B likes Girl A and therefore he also joined in the fun of
teasing Girl A. Finally, Girl A broke down and cried.

I asked him whether he was having fun teasing Girl A.

He replied positive.

I asked him again whether Girl A was having the same fun as him.

He replied negative.

So, I told him if you are with someone and you are having fun but that someone is suffering, that will constitute a bully. I taught him a new idiom of 不可以把自己的快乐建筑在别人的痛苦上。

I reminded him to hold this in mind and that if he sees another person is having fun while the third person is suffering, that is a bullying situation and he should never join in.

I recalled the article with him that we once shared together of a puppy got thrown against the wall and bleeding while the culprit was having fun.

I asked him what he thought of that man.

He answered, “He’s cruel and sick.”

I reinforced again that hurting someone while self is having fun is definitely a cruel and sick behaviour…

If all the parents think and guide their kids like you do, the world will be so much a better plc for everyone.
I feel that most parents don't seem to bother so much about moral values as long as their kids are the \"bully\" and not the \"being bullied\".
I have a close friend who said to me before that so long as his boy is not the one being bullied, she does not care if he is a bully (her boy is a famous bully in his child care and she's proud about it)! :stupid:

[smurf]

my p1 boy told me that his friend said vulgar words to him. I dun think he even know what the words mean. does that constitute to bullying?


I asked him if he reports to the school, he said NO. I was thinkng, if my boy didnt report this matter to the school wouldnt the boy goes around ‘scolding’ people and not knowing that wht he did was wrong? and if my boy reports him to school, will this boy take revenge??

[sleepy]

A boy classmate called my dd ‘fat-so’. Another of dd’s classmate overheard and immediately retorted ‘thin-long’ to that boy.

Names calling continued for a few weeks but stopped eventually. That boy finally got the message he shouldn’t be teasing my dd.

I guess in situation like this, it helps to have righteous friends to stand up for you. Bullies generally picks on loners.