Less is more
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mamachris:
mamachris,
Jedamum,
Just wanna found out from you whether you think your 2nd is a faster learner and can amaze you with the ability to understand things better.
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As compared to ds1, my ds2 is a fast learner as
1. ds1 does not have the luxury of my time back then as I am a FTWM while I am at home 24/7 to 'stimulate' my ds2
2. we only got 'age-appropriate' stuff and do 'age-appropriate' activities with ds1 only when we feel that the time is right, while ds2 can easily 'graduate' into ds1's stuff (eg, he flips books intended for ds1 etc) relatively early as he as nothing else better to do at home.
3. ds1 stimulates ds2 alot by talking, playing with him.
4. we are not as protective over ds2 and hence give more leeway for him to 'develop his motorskills' (with ds1 we worried about safety alot)
And yes, my boy loves starfall too.
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jedamum,
Ha! somehow, #2 is a fast learner compared to first born and I guessed having 2 or more kids, some parents tend to have lesser time left for the rest of the children compared to the time when they have only 1 first born. Look at you and me…just typical examples…Being more attentive to the first born needs and protective may not be beneficial to them. I realised this when I have no time for my girl-#2 and yet she is more advance than her brother in many aspects… -
Its the opposite for me. My #1 is a gal in K2 this year. #2 is a boy and in Nursery. Compared to what the sister knows when she was in nursery, i’m getting quite concern about my boy’s progress. Is it true that girls at this age learn faster than boys?
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We decided to split this discussion into a proper thread because we felt that it is an important point that requires deeper thinking and debate.
The fact that the 2nd child being able to learn faster has a lot to do with competition - the fact that No. 2 has to fight for parental attention and love that No. 1 has never encountered. Most No. 2s are more independent and street-smart compared to No. 1s thanks to this, and also thanks to the fact that parents are WISER and has less time and resources to spend on No. 2 than No. 1. No. 2s are thus more hungry and competitive.
Are we being harmful to our children by spending so much energy on their personal education and growth? Is it better to leave them alone to fend for themselves, so that they will learn to fall and pick themselves up without relying on mummy or daddy? -
Hi all,
For my case, I found that ds1 is faster than dd2. dd2 requires much more explanation and repetition to understand maths concept, whereas ds1 can absorb the concept very quickly and easily.
I think it may because I used much time in ‘stimulate’ ds1 when she was young. Dd2 was somehow neglected as I was too busy when ds1 entered primary 1.
Few days ago, I ask dd2, who he thinks mummy loves the most? His answer was: ‘sister’, and I asked him why he thinks so, he said it was because I teach and bring ds1 to attend enrichment classes. -
vicky:
When you mentioned 'ds1' i believe you mean dd (ie ds=son, dd=daughter).Hi all,
For my case, I found that ds1 is faster than ds2. ds2 requires much more explanation and repetition to understand maths concept, whereas ds1 can absorb the concept very quickly and easily.
I think it may because I used much time in ‘stimulate’ ds1 when she was young. Ds2 was somehow neglected as I was too busy when ds1 entered primary 1.
Few days ago, I ask ds2, who he thinks mummy loves the most? His answer was: ‘sister’, and I asked him why he thinks so, he said it was because I teach and bring ds1 to attend enrichment classes.
If so, as shaz mentioned, it may be the 'developmental milestone' thingy, as i believe that majority of girls pick up stuff faster than boys.
And...it is not wise to ask the kids who he/she thinks mummy loves most. It will only encourage resentment. -
jedamum:
:oops: so sorry for using the wrong term, thanks for reminding meWhen you mentioned 'ds1' i believe you mean dd (ie ds=son, dd=daughter).
If so, as shaz mentioned, it may be the 'developmental milestone' thingy, as i believe that majority of girls pick up stuff faster than boys.
And...it is not wise to ask the kids who he/she thinks mummy loves most. It will only encourage resentment. jedamum:
It is fine with me as i was only chatting with my son as he wanted me to guess which teddy bears he likes the mostAnd...it is not wise to ask the kids who he/she thinks mummy loves most. It will only encourage resentment.
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ChiefKS,
My mum always commented that she did nothing except bringing us(my siblings) to the library and we all did pretty well in school and she never hired tutors to help us... not to mentioned about enrichment classes! She is hoping that I let my son 'off' so that he can learn carefreely and the words she used was it is so 'STRESSFUL' to attend school. Infact, she really wants my dd to stays at home with her to do nothing (sing Karaoke with her) and learn on her own before she needs to attend K1 at 5YO.
For this reason and others (too tired, no$$), I am really allowing my dd to pick things at her own pace and do the most basic of education for her (inculcating values & focus on her character development). As for my son, we are reducing his enrichment to just managable and the programs he is attending now are programs he asked for.ChiefKiasu:
Tough question!Are we being harmful to our children by spending so much energy on their personal education and growth?
I guess it is about balancing. Too little, as parents, we are not helping/guiding our children. Too much, we may ended up having 'problem' or stressful kid...ChiefKiasu:
Another interesting question. The world has changed. It will be alright if it was our time (I am assuming most of us in the forum are the X or early Y-generation). Unfortunately, I guess we ourselves as parents feel uneasy if we leave them alone cos of the social pressure around.Is it better to leave them alone to fend for themselves, so that they will learn to fall and pick themselves up without relying on mummy or daddy?
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ChiefKiasu:
Whenever I let ds1 have access to computer, I can see ds2 envy of his bro.
The fact that the 2nd child being able to learn faster has a lot to do with competition - the fact that No. 2 has to fight for parental attention and love that No. 1 has never encountered. Most No. 2s are more independent and street-smart compared to No. 1s thanks to this, and also thanks to the fact that parents are WISER and has less time and resources to spend on No. 2 than No. 1. No. 2s are thus more hungry and competitive.
Whenever I send ds1 to class, ds2 will wail and want to follow inside too.
Whenever I went for ds1's weekly feedback session, ds2 will refuse to leave the classroom.
So i guess he can't wait to grow up.
Somehow, to try to stand out, 2nd child may develop a 'niche' area. My ds2 for one, is going the 'sporty' route (like what ChiefKS mentioned...'streetwise') and is very 'flexible' (cos have to adapt to ds1's programme and class timing) while ds1 is the studious kind (cos of the 'sheltered' and 'planned' life) and a bit rigid (hesitant to accept changes). -
Only have one at the moment and another one on the way… So cant comment much yet. But seems to be a trend based on my talks with other friends who have >1 child:
Kid #1, tend to be more dependant and cautious.
Kid #2, seems more out-going and daring.
I shd think that this is largely due to the parents’ attitude towards the kids as CKS mentioned above… Parents are more seasoned 2nd time round and less particular with kid#2’s upbringing and this seem to be showing in the kids’ behaviours.
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