Club FTWM
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Luvkid:
Well said, Desertwind. When our kid is under care by who ever, as long as we still spend time with them daily after work, there is no such thing that our kid will not be close to us. Not forgetting the 10 months of pregnancy, nobody will be able to replace that......Overall of this, we hope our boss will be UNDERSTANDING.....when we take leave bcos of kids......
Hi Luvkid,
Thank you for your sharing! You didn't employ a maid? Then must be quite siong got to take leave quite a lot of time? I found quite a lot of leave is taken up to bring my 2.5 yo son for medical appointments!
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DesertWind, i agree with you that at least, my son is close to his ah-ma rather than a maid. Previously when i just started going back to work, i only bring him home on Friday nights and will bring him back to my MIL's on Monday mornings. Thou i visit him every night after work, everytime i leave my MIL's place, my heart feels very heavy & guilty.
It's been 3 weeks since i've returned to work but i miss him more and more. So yesterday & today, i brought my son home, thou i'll need to carry him on my own and take bus to my MIL's at 6.30am. But i think my MIL is secretly relieved ah, because my son is not easy BUT, i also feel abit guilty dragging my son here and there in the wee hours of the morning. My Fridays-Sundays are totally devoted to my son ah. Really hope my son will prefer me instead of his ah-ma because he is now the love of my life!
Luvkid, must be super hectic, fetching him everyday after work! At night also cannot rest...My son cries alot and his cries peaked when he was 8 weeks old. So i extended my maternity leave for another 2 weeks because i saw my MIL getting so impatient with him, keep shaking him harder and harder. Now that my son doesn't cry so much, she feels less stressed now. Thou i appreciate her willingness to help (she offered to take care of my son during weekday nights as well because she knows i have to take a bus to her place), i cannot help but feel bu fang xin after witnessing her shake my son. -
DesertWind:
YES, no maid, no parent to help (used to have mil taking care of DS1 when he was 2 months to 1 yo, i :faint: ) My miserable number of leaves (10 anuual + 3 child care leave) are very precious. Out of these 13 days, more than half are meant for the kids....No choice leh....juz gotta do it....Hi Luvkid,
Thank you for your sharing! You didn't employ a maid? Then must be quite siong got to take leave quite a lot of time? I found quite a lot of leave is taken up to bring my 2.5 yo son for medical appointments!
[quote]Previously when i just started going back to work, i only bring him home on Friday nights and will bring him back to my MIL's on Monday mornings. Thou i visit him every night after work, everytime i leave my MIL's place, my heart feels very heavy & guilty.
It's been 3 weeks since i've returned to work but i miss him more and more. So yesterday & today, i brought my son home, thou i'll need to carry him on my own and take bus to my MIL's at 6.30am. But i think my MIL is secretly relieved ah, because my son is not easy BUT, i also feel abit guilty dragging my son here and there in the wee hours of the morning. My Fridays-Sundays are totally devoted to my son ah. Really hope my son will prefer me instead of his ah-ma because he is now the love of my life! [/quote]
butterwaffles,
Dun feel guilty over this. U r fulfilling your best for being responsible mummy. give yourseld a pat on your back. It is really hard on both your son and yourself to take public transport to travel. Do some adjustment for his bedtime, bring forward earlier, then u can have a bit of rest too. The midnite wake up cries & feeding time can be really hectic, but remember it will be over soon.....
In months to come, when your son reaches 5 months, wean off the midnite feed for him and things will be easier for you. Starting off with replacing plain water, instead of milk....All these are tiring, i understand that......Your mil does not not becos wanting to hurt your son, she is trying to soothe him.
My DS2 was a difficult crybaby (but good thing was that he dun wake up for his midnite feed or cries since he was 1 week old, he was on both breast & formula milk, so enough to keep him till morning) too when he was 1 month old to .......i can't really remember until when. He liked to cry in anytime of the day for nothing. He could really scream on top of his voice despite of after milk feed. He was that type, difficult to take care in daytime but easy to take care at night
) I dun leave him alone when he cried, i carried him closely to me, played some soothing music, gave him pacifier, put him in the cradle (we call that as yao lan), and yao yao him till he quiet down 
I did all things to calm him down, totally neglected my DS1 at 4 yo then.....As u said, friday to sunday, all devoted the kids & not forgetting the piles of household chores!!! :rant: DS2 prefers me than his father, even till now. I cna;t stand his \"i want mummy, i want mummy.....\" 
But we will still have to do it.
Time passes fast, in a wink, your son will be easier to handle, just bear with it, get over with it, dun blame yourself.......You r already doing your best for him now :love: Dun worry, his heart will be with you :love:
Work hard!! :celebrate: -
Hi i’m new here and also a FTWM. Can anyone tell me what is DD and DS. I’m mountain tortise.
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limsc74:
Hi i'm new here and also a FTWM. Can anyone tell me what is DD and DS. I'm mountain tortise.
Dear limsc,
DD = Dear/Darling Daughter, DS = Dear/Darling Son. I'm not sure how it started but I doubt that the terms were invented in KiasuParents.com as I have them used in other parenting forums.
For a full listing of other acronyms, please see this:
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/KSPAcronyms
Anyone is welcome to contribute to that list! -
Luvkid, thanks for your encouragements! Ever since my son was born, he wakes up every 2-3 hours for milk without fail, day & night. He cried alot too and was diagnosed with colic and acid reflux. It was really really tough and quite a few times, i locked myself in the toilet with him and we cried together
Haha...I felt so heartpain when he was crying and crying and i couldn't do anything to make him feel better. Like you, i don't ignore the cryings. I go to him as soon as i can and sayang him. My PD tells me she doesn't believe in the carry-too-much-will-spoil-the-baby theory. She advised me to tahan and be patient because babies can only cry, that's their only form of communication. She also tells me babies will be more emotionally secure and stable when they are older if their cries are not being ignored. I'm not sure if her theory is correct but even if i'm advised to let my son cry it out, i cannot. My heart cannot take it ah.
So far, my son has been kind to me
I try to have a bedtime routine for him whenever he is with me at nights but it's difficult as he has no routine at my MIL's. Weekends are easier. Will bathe him, play with him for a while, give him milk then pat him to sleep. Im contemplating to ask for a shorter workweek or shorter working hours every day when my son starts his childcare next year so that i can be the one who fetch him to and from childcare. I'll only have one child, so this one is very precious to me, haha!
Now, i kowtow to FTWMs with more than 1 child. It is not easy! Thou when they are older, might be 'easier' to take care of, but with every phase they enter, comes different challenges/problems. Not matter how old our kids are, there will always be issues right? So kudos to all FTWMs out there, really not easy! -
butterwaffles,
Dun mention. We are here to encourage each other. :celebrate: -
ChiefKiasu:
hi chief thanx for your info.limsc74:
Hi i'm new here and also a FTWM. Can anyone tell me what is DD and DS. I'm mountain tortise.
Dear limsc,
DD = Dear/Darling Daughter, DS = Dear/Darling Son. I'm not sure how it started but I doubt that the terms were invented in KiasuParents.com as I have them used in other parenting forums.
For a full listing of other acronyms, please see this:
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/KSPAcronyms
Anyone is welcome to contribute to that list!
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butterwaffles:
Previously when i just started going back to work, i only bring him home on Friday nights and will bring him back to my MIL's on Monday mornings. Thou i visit him every night after work, everytime i leave my MIL's place, my heart feels very heavy & guilty. It's been 3 weeks since i've returned to work but i miss him more and more. So yesterday & today, i brought my son home......
Hi Butterwaffles!
I \"lost\" this thread because I could not remember which topic it was recorded under....I kept thinking it was at the \"No maid\" topic but could not find it hence the long silence!
Yes, I remembered when I went back to work after 3 months I missed my son so much that when I came back home I wanted him to sleep with me on the same bed. My maid kept offering to look after him at night so that I can have a good night's sleep. It was very nice of her but I MISSED my son so terribly during the day! When my maid kept asking even though I said \"no\", I was quite fed-up and asked her to stop it! Day time she takes good care of my boy and night-time the boy sleeps with me!
This is a way of compensate although we are all sleeping!
Until now at 2.5 yo my DS still sleeps with me & hubby. But not for long as we are doing up a separate room for him since he is growing to be a big boy already! :love:
:celebrate: -
minniemom:
hi
me a newbie & a FTWM, DD at K2 & DS at terrible 2.
By the way, how do u all cope with both work & household chores?? I feel exhausted easily now tht DS is growing naughtier.
Hi Minniemom,
How about getting part-time help? Those \"zhong dian nu yong\" at about SGD10 per hour? They work minimum 3 hours each time. I used one before for couple of years and she came in once a week to vacuum, mop, wash toilets and also to iron hubby's clothes. Of course that time we have no kid yet. After my DS was born, I got a full-time maid. How to cope if FTWM but no helper at home....?
:celebrate:
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