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    All About Autism

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Special Needs & Learning Difficulties
    7.9k Posts 412 Posters 2.0m Views 3 Watching
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    • N Offline
      nugget
      last edited by

      Double E:
      Forgot to add that your current job gives u the flexibility to work from home and taking leave and MC is never an issue. Also your current job gives u 30 over days of leave whereas the new offer may not. Work wise, you feel that you are stuck in your current job scope and you don't really feel the joy of going to work any more.


      Given the above situation what will you do? Join the new company and experience new opportunities with more money but less time for family or Stay put with where you are for the sake of the family friendly perks but work wise, no more sparks.
      Double E,

      If you are flying, who will be looking after your kid and training him/them?

      I am in the same situation as you right now. I am also seeking for a higher paying job.. (praying hard I dun land on one that requires flying).
      Sigh.. Its really hard to strike a balance sometimes. But in SG, the standard of living is getting higher and higher.

      Now I can only send my #1 for therapy classes... I wanted to be able to provide my #2 and #3. I also intend to hire a 1-1 tutor when my #1 as he is going P1 next year. Also thinking of hiring a pte swimming coach to teach my #1 and #2 together.. All these cost $$$$.

      Lucky for me, I have good support at home. My hb is also much more patient than I am.

      But its a bit hard to give up on current work perks and flexibility...Cos now i am the one taking leave to go for therapy with son... working from home when kids fall sick etc.

      But right now, for me, I think money has become a higher priority...

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • N Offline
        nugget
        last edited by

        Ironic isn’t it.


        Some mothers give up their jobs to tend to their kids full time.

        Some mothers are getting away from their kids so they can provide the kids so much more.

        But at the end of the day… its all about the kids isn’t it.

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • D Offline
          Double E
          last edited by

          nugget:
          Ironic isn't it.


          Some mothers give up their jobs to tend to their kids full time.

          Some mothers are getting away from their kids so they can provide the kids so much more.

          But at the end of the day.. its all about the kids isn't it.
          Nugget
          Exactly!! I am in the same dilemma. On one hand, I want to earn more to provide for my kids but on the other hand, I am unwilling to sacrifice my time with them. And I always envy the mommies who can quit their job to bring their kid to classes and therapies. But most of the jobs out there seems to require travelling (esp for my line of work) and those that don't, can't pay what I want. From all aspects, my current job seems to be the best fit for me but I am here for 7 years, getting jaded and tired of what I am doing. Actually my plan in the next 3 years is to convert to part-time work when my son goes to P1 and my work place is likely to support this arrangement. IF I leave now, I don't think I will be given the flexibility to do so.

          Anyway, you mentioned that you want to get one to one tuition and swimming for your son? I started on the tuition 9mths ago and swimming will start in June. These two will cost me $580 each mth, on top of the other therapies and kindergarten school fees.

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          • W Offline
            Www
            last edited by

            helplessmum3:



            agreed no3 🙂

            www,

            is GP or PD in kkh seen your son?
            Went to KKH in child dev, after polyclinic referrer...

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • N Offline
              nugget
              last edited by

              Double E,


              Is your son in any EIPIC? Your expenses must be very high as well. Additional $580 per month. I definitely cannot afford that right now. Sigh…

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • sharonkhooS Offline
                sharonkhoo
                last edited by

                I speak as a SAHM - I am very grateful that I have had these years with my Asperger’s daughter. I don’t believe that anyone, even given my impatient nature, could have given as much time, thought and attention to her during the formative years. My husband does not earn a lot, and we have not sent her to any external therapies, partly by choice and partly because of location and circumstance. We still feel that we have made the better choice for her overall as therapies work best when the child is ready and weekly/monthly sessions don’t always catch the best opportunities, and rushing around can cause additional stress. Given the option to work, I have always decided that my kids needed me more at home, even if that meant fewer external lessons and therapies, and that is the main reason I have remained a SAHM although there are other reasons too. Now that my daughter is 16yo and is more independent and our home circumstances are changing, I am planning to return to work. I know I have lost out a lot in career, but since I know I couldn’t have given as much attention to my family if I had worked, that’s the choice I made. It’s made for up by the closeness I have with my husband and kids and the belief that I have done my best for them. This is just my personal experience - I know each person weighs the factors differently, and every family has different circumstances.

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • N Offline
                  nugget
                  last edited by

                  slmkhoo,


                  Actually I admire SAHM a lot. I was a SAHM for almost 2 years and I couldn’t take it. Its not easy and there is no time where you can "knock off".

                  I can tell you have put in a lot of effort to bring your daughter where she is today. I only wish my son can be like your daughter one day.

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • D Offline
                    Double E
                    last edited by

                    slmkhoo

                    Thanks for sharing.
                    When I see my son faces difficulties in his daily life, that’s when I feel I really need to spend more time to teach him. Atlas, human beings are always fickle minded, I can’t help but also think about the job opportunities, pple I will meet, places I will visit if I am not stuck with this job because of my family commitment. I think I will not take up this new job because apart from the flying, it is also highly stressful and requires me to be on standby 24/7. But I will continue to search for one that can satisfy my requirements. I will continue to pray and am sure, God will provide.

                    Nugget
                    My son is in private Epic, each mth $680. He is also in pte Speech and OT. So in total, his learning and therapies cost $2500 each mth. That’s why I had to transfer him to a kindy, if not I have to pay another $700 on his CC fees. I also hope to be like SlmKhoo, do the therapies myself etc to save the money but I don’t have the confident to do so. And I will always be asking myself if he will be better off if there’s a professional guiding him. That’s why I can’t be a SAHM, I have to continue to work to bring the bacon in for him. But that said, I am not the one footing the bill alone, my husband shares my load. And I hope that by the time he enter’s P1, his therapy sessions can be reduced to perhaps once or twice mthly instead of weekly so that I can cut down on the expenses and work part-time.

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • N Offline
                      nugget
                      last edited by

                      Double E,

                      Good that you have made up your mind. Hope you can find something you want.

                      I also hope to teach by myself but thing is I am not a very good teacher esp in the academics. Verbal stimulation and practicing I am still okay. I really have to rely on professional help to aid and guide him then I continue to teach him at home based on what I learn in those sessions.

                      But there will always be this gap where other people in the family don’t follow the rules or don’t do the best practices with him. I guess that is our disadvantage as being a FTWM.

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • H Offline
                        helplessmum3
                        last edited by

                        Double e.


                        Ur son is so bless to hav u n yr hub... With that kind if money that u can afford the therapies ...

                        I feel so bad I only can send my son to rainbow centre 😞

                        For his needs

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