All About Autism

[ImMeeMee]

So50:

Hi Everyone, merry Xmas.

Hi Snow24, how old is your child ? I cannot really comment much as i am quite new to all this. But from my observation in my boy's school, the teacher who is the handling the child has to keep repeating the step, sorta of like drilling the habit into their brain. When they keep wondering off, the teacher will usually allow him to wonder off. After a while, they will invite him back..this will repeat over sometime and then he will follow suit. The key is you have to \"demo\" an action to que/signal him For a response..(something i learnt from my ST)

On another occasion, when my boy just joined his playgroup, he is not allowed to leave the class until he wear his own shoe. I was like :scratchhead: as i myself still need my grandpa to wear my shoes until i am in kindergarten... Haha...
Anyway, the teacher was very firm on this and my boy cried and throw temper while he sees the rest of his class leaving. In the end, he LL. wore his shoes on his own... I was pretty amazed as i was hiding at one corner peeping at him. I guess u cant let him \"win\". You have to stand firm on the grounds when there is a need to. Once he knows u allow some leeway, he will bargain and try to be funny.

My boy does not like to sit in car seat. Always throw temper and wanna get out of the car seat while i am driving. So there is once when he is having a meltdown in car, i actually stop the car and ask him and my helper to get out of the car. I pretend to be angry and drove my car away. After i drove back, he just guai guai sit in the car seat...some weeks later, he starts his nonsense again... This time round, i never chase him out of car. I actually drove back into my carpark and told him we are not gg out cos he is not sitting in car seat. I did this 3x..driving in and out. And he got the message after that... No car seat = no gg out...

I do not have a cane at home. But once in a while, i go crazy just to set my rules in place. And he will follow through and knows his boundaries. My grandma use a cane on him when he did something wrong. (I dun like and dun encourage though). From the school's Side, they also told me not to reason with him when he did something wrong as they are too young to understand. A cause and effect drilling is better. Fyi, my boy is turning 3 next week. So a simple instruction \"i want you to stop Xxx\" repeatedly is more effective than a long nagging...

No right and wrong in parenting... We are not born to be parents. But bringing up an asd kiddo is even more challenging... Just have to jia you and keep charging forward....

This xmas, i sharec with one friend and my aunt about my boy's case.. Dunnoe why i felt relieved though....
gd night...

So50

It can be a lonely journey at times, so its important that we let out our emotions - good, bad or ugly - when we find the opportunity. Dont feel shy to talk it out if there are 'bad' thoughts in your mind as you begin your journey. Its only human nature. Once we get past this phase, things will start to normalize, slowly.

My ASD daughter is 8 yo this year, and it has been five years for me on this journey. ASD has pretty much become a part of our household. We accept that she is who she is, but we have not given up on teaching her things that she needs to know to fit into the society at large. Its a marathon, so I do not charge all the time. There are times when I need a break and so I take a break. But after the beak we move on. Its a new baseline that we have built into our family. Do remember that we have to take care of ourselves to take care of our families.

How much force and how much coaxing to do is a question that has no one answer. Human beings are the same, yet we are so different. We can only feel our way forward and find our best fit.

Hope for the best and have trust that the best will come along.

[So50]

Hi ImMeeMee,


Thank you for the encouragement. It really feels good to talk it out.

We started our therapy sessions 3mths back and i am seeing some improvement on his speech now. Hope that things will become better…

On the other hand, i also notice his stimming behavior become more frequent, or even worse in the past 2weeks such as he is turning in circle and on tip toes, and this "electrocuted look". Can i ask if a change in routine can cause this ? Cos this 2 weeks, we keep bringing him out due to birthday and festive outings. Hence he is not gg to school everyday.

[sharonkhoo]

So50:

On the other hand, i also notice his stimming behavior become more frequent, or even worse in the past 2weeks such as he is turning in circle and on tip toes, and this \"electrocuted look\". Can i ask if a change in routine can cause this ? Cos this 2 weeks, we keep bringing him out due to birthday and festive outings. Hence he is not gg to school everyday.

Yes, too much change, too much stress - all these can unsettle them. They do best with routine and familiar things. However, it's also good training to expose them to different things, help them get accustomed to changes etc. The challenge is doing enough to help them learn while not doing so much that it upsets them so much they can't learn.

[ImMeeMee]

So50:

Hi ImMeeMee,


Thank you for the encouragement. It really feels good to talk it out.

We started our therapy sessions 3mths back and i am seeing some improvement on his speech now. Hope that things will become better...

On the other hand, i also notice his stimming behavior become more frequent, or even worse in the past 2weeks such as he is turning in circle and on tip toes, and this \"electrocuted look\". Can i ask if a change in routine can cause this ? Cos this 2 weeks, we keep bringing him out due to birthday and festive outings. Hence he is not gg to school everyday.

I treat stimming as a form of 'retreat into solace' for my daughter. After all that chaos out in the world, its a time for them to go back to the things that they seek comfort in and recharge. We as NT individuals have that need too, just that we retreat into things which are deemed as 'socially acceptable'. If you look at it this way, maybe they are not that different from us.

So yes, the challenge is how to maintain an appropriate balance in exposing to 'chaos' resulting in stimming, and how to manage the stimming itself. You may want to consider incremental changes rather than quantum leaps in outings or unfamiliar routines for your child, so that it does not get too daunting for him, and for them to have some time to learn and get used to. I tell my daughter that 'change is good', and she sometimes repeats this to me when she notices something different from her usual routine. It takes a long while to get them to understand this, but have to try.

Hope this helps

[Poohbear85]

So50:

Snow24:

Hi


Anyone can share methods on how to teach child about rules and boundaries eg stay in the classroom not wander off, comply with rules.

Hi Everyone, merry Xmas.

Hi Snow24, how old is your child ? I cannot really comment much as i am quite new to all this. But from my observation in my boy's school, the teacher who is the handling the child has to keep repeating the step, sorta of like drilling the habit into their brain. When they keep wondering off, the teacher will usually allow him to wonder off. After a while, they will invite him back..this will repeat over sometime and then he will follow suit. The key is you have to \"demo\" an action to que/signal him For a response..(something i learnt from my ST)

On another occasion, when my boy just joined his playgroup, he is not allowed to leave the class until he wear his own shoe. I was like :scratchhead: as i myself still need my grandpa to wear my shoes until i am in kindergarten... Haha...
Anyway, the teacher was very firm on this and my boy cried and throw temper while he sees the rest of his class leaving. In the end, he LL. wore his shoes on his own... I was pretty amazed as i was hiding at one corner peeping at him. I guess u cant let him \"win\". You have to stand firm on the grounds when there is a need to. Once he knows u allow some leeway, he will bargain and try to be funny.

My boy does not like to sit in car seat. Always throw temper and wanna get out of the car seat while i am driving. So there is once when he is having a meltdown in car, i actually stop the car and ask him and my helper to get out of the car. I pretend to be angry and drove my car away. After i drove back, he just guai guai sit in the car seat...some weeks later, he starts his nonsense again... This time round, i never chase him out of car. I actually drove back into my carpark and told him we are not gg out cos he is not sitting in car seat. I did this 3x..driving in and out. And he got the message after that... No car seat = no gg out...

I do not have a cane at home. But once in a while, i go crazy just to set my rules in place. And he will follow through and knows his boundaries. My grandma use a cane on him when he did something wrong. (I dun like and dun encourage though). From the school's Side, they also told me not to reason with him when he did something wrong as they are too young to understand. A cause and effect drilling is better. Fyi, my boy is turning 3 next week. So a simple instruction \"i want you to stop Xxx\" repeatedly is more effective than a long nagging...

So50, yr boy's childcare teacher is good at enforcing rules，which is good. There are a few times when my hb or i went to pick up my boy,he was lying on the floor while the other kids were walking abt playing. Feel so bad when i see that and cant help feeling irritated with the teachers for leaving my boy to be. My boy jus loves to lie on the floor dunno y..hai. Is esp difficult when we have to take public transport to/fro punggol-bishan everyday for his sch. Ot said this cant be corrected until he understand y cannot lie on the floor.

Now trying to teach my boy to point and gesture his wants (homework from ot)..sometimes he jus refused to and will resort to grabbing or tantrums. Speaking of spanking,we cannot do it cos he will copy and hit us or others. So have to be super patient w him!

[So50]

Hi Poohbear,

It took a few months before my son starts to sit down. Initially, he kept wondering in the garden outside the classroom. And the teacher just let him be.

And yes, i have homework from OT as well… For the pointing, we usually put one item he likes among a few other items. For example, he likes to eat pau. We could have pau, apple, bottle on the table out of reach to him. And when he is desperate for pau, i will tease him and point to the apple or bottle instead. This will actually agitate him and my helper will demo the "pointing to pau" to him… Slowly, we also incorporate "help" into this routine…
Yes, got to be very patient.

[pinkamoon]

Hi everyone! Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!


Hi Pooh bear and So50! It is nice to see patient parents like both of you. I remember when my son was young, I was not so patient and ended up spanking him a lot. I was in denial too and was not able to be open about his conditions. Everything became better until I started son rise programme on him. I was able to be open about his conditions.

For my son, everything was cute when he was young. As he grew older, his actions like circling and stimming got worse and worse.
It became difficult to explain to others about his behaviour so I totally did not bring him out for parties or gatherings. The only interaction he has is with us, his family members.

My son will be in P2 next year and I do hope he has a good Chinese Language teacher like the one he has for this year. :xedfingers:

[chibi]

hiya all:)

:oops:
it has been a long time since I posted here.
my eldest daughter is going into P5 just few days later:)
she has high functioning autism.
and I am so happy to say that she actually got the model pupil award in her class this year and also best progress award in her class year end. she is in mainstream Primary school, and has a lot of support from her teachers and classmates, as well as allied educator in her school.
She even went for her overnight pri 4 camping trip few months back at sentosa .
I was quite worried about her, cant eat and sleep without her at home.. haha but she actually made it through and had a very good time. her teacher took pics of her with her friends and send it back to me via watsapp. the only complaint she has, the bathroom near the beach for bathing is so cold!!!!! hahaha.
my DD still has her struggles though, have to manage it together with her as she grows up.
she is going into puberty now. just had her first menses 3 months back, she was very cool about it tho. she had the first period in school and she actually beared it till she reached home, lol she told me she went toilet and stuff tissue paper into her undies . luckily we prepped her about it way beforehand. :censored:
DD is showing empathy too from what me and her teachers see in her behaviour.
her teacher wrote in her report book that
she continues to overcome her personal hurdles with determination, courage and a pinch of caution.
I was very happy with the sentence in her report book that wrote that \"she is the epitome of hard work, resilience and perseverance in class. She is an inspiration for the rest of the class to always strive for the better. \" was nearly crying when I saw that.
I was very proud when I see her on stage receiving her award for the best progress award. I clapped the loudest. hahaha. I feel that she has gone a long way from her kindy days till now.
let us all continue to perserve for our kids

[Couragemom]

Hi Chibi,


Thanks for sharing! I am so happy to read about your daughter’s success in school and salute you for the background work that you have done with her all these years (only a special needs parent will understand the pain and tears behind the success).

Hi ImMeeMee,

I totally agree with your statement about normalizing after the initial struggle. I feel more at peace 2 years into this journey and manage my expectation better now.


Hi

[ImMeeMee]

chibi:

hiya all:)

:oops:
it has been a long time since I posted here.
my eldest daughter is going into P5 just few days later:)
she has high functioning autism.
and I am so happy to say that she actually got the model pupil award in her class this year and also best progress award in her class year end. she is in mainstream Primary school, and has a lot of support from her teachers and classmates, as well as allied educator in her school.
She even went for her overnight pri 4 camping trip few months back at sentosa .
I was quite worried about her, cant eat and sleep without her at home.. haha but she actually made it through and had a very good time. her teacher took pics of her with her friends and send it back to me via watsapp. the only complaint she has, the bathroom near the beach for bathing is so cold!!!!! hahaha.
my DD still has her struggles though, have to manage it together with her as she grows up.
she is going into puberty now. just had her first menses 3 months back, she was very cool about it tho. she had the first period in school and she actually beared it till she reached home, lol she told me she went toilet and stuff tissue paper into her undies . luckily we prepped her about it way beforehand. :censored:
DD is showing empathy too from what me and her teachers see in her behaviour.
her teacher wrote in her report book that
she continues to overcome her personal hurdles with determination, courage and a pinch of caution.
I was very happy with the sentence in her report book that wrote that \"she is the epitome of hard work, resilience and perseverance in class. She is an inspiration for the rest of the class to always strive for the better. \" was nearly crying when I saw that.
I was very proud when I see her on stage receiving her award for the best progress award. I clapped the loudest. hahaha. I feel that she has gone a long way from her kindy days till now.
let us all continue to perserve for our kids

chibi

Thanks for sharing. Its inspiring for me to hear this, both for what I can look forward to when my daughter is older, and for what I can stay positive about when she eventually grows into puberty.

Your child has gone a long way. Congratulations on her achievements, both academic and otherwise. It is great to have a supportive school and supportive teachers.

May we all continue to achieve small successes for this year and beyond! :celebrate: