All About Autism

[mashy]

Helplessmum


The worst that your son can have is a mom who rejects him like he is some lousy goods.

I know u are in denial and you need to snap out of it. U were already practicing absent parenting before u realized that something wasn’t right with him. And now u are dismissing him as faulty.

If u participate more in his life, share more smiles with him and cherish him for whatever he is and whatever he may become, he will be better. Maybe not the best in the world but the best kid u ever had.

There are many who experience more anguish than this. At least yours is high function with high iq. Many with autism are non verbal, low iq and will need help for the rest of their lives. Many do not have splinter skills and can never read.

[lavendery]

Agree. They’re right. Same as you, I also feel very sore and angry why it happen to my girl. She is my only child. She’s only 3yrs+.


As I was complaining buckets to my colleague, I realized that his son was actually non verbal and presently still in Rainbow since age three till now, he is ten year old this year. At that spur of moment I felt that I’m better off than my colleague.

No doubt if I compared my girl to normal kids, she maybe the odd one out. However at least she is still verbal with speech delay. She also has almost similar sensory issues like your son. With early intervention, our kids will improve slowly.

Hence i’ve slowly learn to count my blessing.

[helplessmum3]

Sun2010, thanks for yr understanding


Schweepes , sOrry I can’t help it, I try to try

Nuggets, u real good. But I still know that is a crack glass.

Mashy, I’m a bad mUm, at times feel like end myself n get my son for adoption by someone who k handle him better then me. Was absent mum cuz my son has high IQ n learn things real fast. His first word at 4months old "hello"
Knows A-Z big n small , 1-100 numbers, all shapes upto octagon, all colors upto grey,gold&silver b4 2yrs old. Really dun ring a bell to me that he is disability person.esp on mental.

Lavendry,
I dare not count blessing as I duno when will be another strikes comi g .

Verbal or non verbal still ASD, young or older still ASD. It’s last forever .

[mashy]

helplessmum3:

Sun2010, thanks for yr understanding


Schweepes , sOrry I can't help it, I try to try

Nuggets, u real good. But I still know that is a crack glass.

Mashy, I'm a bad mUm, at times feel like end myself n get my son for adoption by someone who k handle him better then me. Was absent mum cuz my son has high IQ n learn things real fast. His first word at 4months old \"hello\"
Knows A-Z big n small , 1-100 numbers, all shapes upto octagon, all colors upto grey,gold&silver b4 2yrs old. Really dun ring a bell to me that he is disability person.esp on mental.

Lavendry,
I dare not count blessing as I duno when will be another strikes comi g .

Verbal or non verbal still ASD, young or older still ASD. It's last forever .

Fine, give him up for adoption. I'm sure many will rush to have him. He is a rare gem and u can't even see it! It's amazing how such a gifted child can have an 'ixxxxxx' mom like u! He is such a gifted boy and all u see is his weaknesses. U have more issues than him and I think u need to work on it yourself. I think he isn't the prob. U are the prob. Now u even blame your own absent parenting on his giftedness? My goodness! It irks me to see a mother like u. I thought u were better than that. All u can think of is yourself!

Wish I can be less blunt than this and that I will like all the other forumers tell u not to give up etc etc, but u seriously have a poor attitude.

Despite our repeated requests for u to read more about autism and find out more, u do not seem to have done so. U just wallow in self pity and have not taken positive steps to helping your son. It's simply all about u, isn't it? It really isn't about him. It's about him embarrassing u by not being the perfect child? U don't need to end your life. Just give him up for adoption. Many will love to have a genius kid. So what if he doesn't like to talk much. Big deal!

[helplessmum3]

Mashy,

Ya man I really deserve all these from u. U are kind tat y u bother .

I just don’t want to bluff or run away . It is the truth I need to face .

I read up so many. So many diff saying about ASD. Reading really ain’t my forte.

Hope this movie "temple grandin" simplify all autism book.

Finally got to rent it.

[specialboymum]

hi helplessmum,


I’m sure you have read in many places that autistic people are ‘different but not less’. But as a parent, we do play important role in their growing up phases to nurture them to be ‘not less’. He still have a long way to go, try picking yourself up and focus on bringing him up just like what you plan for him before. The label ASD is actually just a piece of information that helps you to adjust the way to teach him to learn… that’s all.
A positive mindset and determination is what matters to overcome any difficulties in learning. Not sure if you read in some reports that Mr Lee Kuan Yew has dsylexia i.e he has difficulties in reading, but he still managed to complete law school with double stars first class honors. Also note that nobody knows about dyslexia during his time…

Another thing which I think would help is don’t compare with other kids and try not to set a standard or goal for him to achieve (eg wanting him to know how to ask questions by certain age), just guide him along and cheers for him with every single steps he achieve, whether or not he is still behind his peers.

I know it is not easy lah…even for myself, I’m still trying. I took the not so good approach- I found myself distance from my friends and no longer attending their children parties.

[specialboymum]

Hi Mummies,


Just want to seek your advice. Anyone has good suggestion on how to teach our kid to gargle and rinse their mouth? I have been trying for a long time but still not successful. He doesn’t know how to hold water in his month, he will just swallow

[helplessmum3]

Specialboymum,


After watching "temple Grandin"

I have one conclusion ; our child are GENIUS…

yes I have read so much until I read NO more…

So I decided to face the truth n must accept the real about these.

I really really need to pick up myself u are right.

I find that by facing the truth tat the main.

[helplessmum3]

Lastly i wish I have their kind of focus mind when I study

[ImMeeMee]

helplessmum3:

Specialboymum,


After watching \"temple Grandin\"

I have one conclusion ; our child are GENIUS...

yes I have read so much until I read NO more..

So I decided to face the truth n must accept the real about these.

I really really need to pick up myself u are right.

I find that by facing the truth tat the main.

In Kubler Ross' model of grief, there are 5 stages:
1. denial: it cant be me.
2. anger: why me?
3. bargaining: I'll do anything to get out of this.
4. depression: why bother
5. acceptance.

I feel this griefing process is classic of parents with ASD children. I went through this myself, and even now after 2 years of first diagnosis I still swing between stage 2, 3 and 4 at times, although I am most of the time at stage 5. When there are times of stage 2, 3 and 4 coming into play, I acknowledge those feelings and understand that they are part of grief, but at the back of my mind, I know I that I will hit rock bottom and rise again.

I think it is ok and only human to go through the different stages of grief. But most importantly be cognizant that you are going through grief, and be aware that you should arrive at stage 5 eventually. you can be angry and bitter, but dont give up on your child. During those times when I find myself vulnerable, I try as much as possible to take a step back and move away from my dd3 and get another caretaker to come in so that I minimize the chances of me shouting or scolding or hurting my child because I am not in control.

If need be, take short breaks for yourself, but always come back for your child. This takes time, but it gets better with practice.