All About Autism

[bbbay]

Sharing this video on a talk given by an accomplished autistic professor (the author of the book shared by another parent earlier). In this video she shares practical tips on how to try to draw out the person with autism, how to relate their fixation tendency to other similar tasks so as to get them try other things. And how to “sell their works instead of sell the person”, to get them recognition.


https://youtu.be/MWePrOuSeSY?si=cJR0GtEL8X7QAhJe

[sharonkhoo]

Rainbowdeli\" post_id=\"2135011\" time=\"1718335583\" user_id=\"204929:

My son has Asperger (high functioning). Now in one of the Poly. One of the problems with him is he tends to overshare personal stuff with people who are friendly to him and can take things literally. We have arranged for him to see a Psychologist who has been helping him cope with these stuff.

But seems things are not really improving. We worry people may take advantage of this weakness of him (which happened before during his Secondary school time). Anyone in similar situation? If so, could share/advise how you cope please. Thanks

My daughter is also high functioning autistic (Aspergers is no longer the official term for this). She's already graduated and working. Yes, oversharing is an issue as they don't realise how others will take what they say. Besides seeing a psych, do you talk to him about this at home? Perhaps you can give him some simple rules to follow - telling him what sorts of things he shouldn't say. We have been advising our daughter since she was young about what she should and shouldn't say about certain topics, and rehearsing with her the kinds of answers that she can use. This helps her say something without telling too many details. What sorts of things does he say that you think inappropriate?

[Rainbowdeli]

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2135016\" time=\"1718337822\" user_id=\"28674:

My daughter is also high functioning autistic (Aspergers is no longer the official term for this). She's already graduated and working. Yes, oversharing is an issue as they don't realise how others will take what they say. Besides seeing a psych, do you talk to him about this at home? Perhaps you can give him some simple rules to follow - telling him what sorts of things he shouldn't say. We have been advising our daughter since she was young about what she should and shouldn't say about certain topics, and rehearsing with her the kinds of answers that she can use. This helps her say something without telling too many details. What sorts of things does he say that you think inappropriate?

Thanks slmkhoo for sharing. Yes both DH and I, and the psych have given him guidelines/rules to follow. We have also talked to him in length several times. In fact his oversharing caused unhappiness to some people around him and he knows the consequences (cos they will keep a distance from him thereafter). But don't know why he is still doing that esp when people are friendly to him and he will let down his guard and start the sharing part.

We have repeatly cautioned him to be weary of people that not all of them have good intentions. Just worry he will offend/being make us of others in future esp when he goes to work. Cos of this, we are also concern if he is suitable to study overseas by himself next time.

[sharonkhoo]

Rainbowdeli\" post_id=\"2135034\" time=\"1718359234\" user_id=\"204929:

Thanks slmkhoo for sharing. Yes both DH and I, and the psych have given him guidelines/rules to follow. We have also talked to him in length several times. In fact his oversharing caused unhappiness to some people around him and he knows the consequences (cos they will keep a distance from him thereafter). But don't know why he is still doing that esp when people are friendly to him and he will let down his guard and start the sharing part.

We have repeatly cautioned him to be weary of people that not all of them have good intentions. Just worry he will offend/being make us of others in future esp when he goes to work. Cos of this, we are also concern if he is suitable to study overseas by himself next time.

You have to understand that they aren't just being careless, they really can't tell what is too much. They don't know what is offensive, and it's hard to always have to remember the rules when you are relaxed. While you should keep reminding him and hope the rules become habitual, it takes a long time to build habits, and sometimes they won't be perfect.

Yes, there will be people who he should be wary of, but he won't always be able to tell. Does he have classmates who understand enough to keep a watch out for him? My daughter didn't, but thankfully, she has always been with people who are generally kind, or at least neutral. She has been bullied occasionally, but not too much, and we use those instances as teaching opportunities. For work, as a last resort, you can ask for help from Enable SG and Autism Resource Centre. My daughter was helped by them to get a job, and her boss has been understanding, but of course, it means the condition has to be declared.

We never considered letting our daughter go overseas to study - too many things could go wrong.

[Rainbowdeli]

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2135035\" time=\"1718360050\" user_id=\"28674:

You have to understand that they aren't just being careless, they really can't tell what is too much. They don't know what is offensive, and it's hard to always have to remember the rules when you are relaxed. While you should keep reminding him and hope the rules become habitual, it takes a long time to build habits, and sometimes they won't be perfect.

Yes, there will be people who he should be wary of, but he won't always be able to tell. Does he have classmates who understand enough to keep a watch out for him? My daughter didn't, but thankfully, she has always been with people who are generally kind, or at least neutral. She has been bullied occasionally, but not too much, and we use those instances as teaching opportunities. For work, as a last resort, you can ask for help from Enable SG and Autism Resource Centre. My daughter was helped by them to get a job, and her boss has been understanding, but of course, it means the condition has to be declared.

We never considered letting our daughter go overseas to study - too many things could go wrong.

@slmkhoo Thanks for the sharing We understand that he lacks of empathy (part of the spectrum). I guess have to constantly talk/remind him. He is quite involved in my SIL church and we always encourage him to attend as the churchmates are kind and understanding people. They know his situation so is more tolerate.

Yup. We also his own \"case studies\" as teaching opportunities. I am also planning to visit Enable SG/Autism Resource Center for assistance as likely we will want him to be exempted from NS (psych has also suggested this).

Another concern is if he is exempted from NS, will that affect his career down the road. Also insurance part. I was told by an agent that people on the spectrum have problems buying health insurance. Do you face similar issues with insurance for your daughter? Thank you

[sharonkhoo]

Rainbowdeli\" post_id=\"2135053\" time=\"1718414567\" user_id=\"204929:

Another concern is if he is exempted from NS, will that affect his career down the road. Also insurance part. I was told by an agent that people on the spectrum have problems buying health insurance. Do you face similar issues with insurance for your daughter? Thank you

Having ASD will inevitably affect his working life - even if undeclared, colleagues and bosses will surely notice that something is \"different\". Declaring is a risk - with good colleagues and bosses, they will be understanding; but there is a risk of bullying, poorer progression, etc. The question is how well is he going to progress if he isn't given help? Can he even get a job?

My daughter went through many interviews for internships and temp jobs during her university years, and was never taken on. She doesn't interview well, and as we asked her to try without declaring ASD, she wasn't given any special consideration. When it came to applying for jobs, we advised her to get help from EnableSG and ARC, and she was finally able to get a job. We don't expect her to climb high; we are happy that she is able to handle the job and her colleagues and bosses are willing to accept her quirks. If you son has a special niche skill, maybe you can look into finding places that he could work and do well. My daughter so far hasn't demonstrated any!

Life/Health insurance - the insurers are not supposed to discriminate just because of ASD.
https://iautistic.com/adult-life/insurance-discrimination/
https://www.lia.org.sg/media/4159/lia-guide-to-medical-underwriting-for-life-insurance-edition-2024.pdf

[Liew Nga Wing]

Rainbowdeli\" post_id=\"2135034\" time=\"1718359234\" user_id=\"204929:

Thanks slmkhoo for sharing. Yes both DH and I, and the psych have given him guidelines/rules to follow. We have also talked to him in length several times. In fact his oversharing caused unhappiness to some people around him and he knows the consequences (cos they will keep a distance from him thereafter). But don't know why he is still doing that esp when people are friendly to him and he will let down his guard and start the sharing part.

We have repeatly cautioned him to be weary of people that not all of them have good intentions. Just worry he will offend/being make us of others in future esp when he goes to work. Cos of this, we are also concern if he is suitable to study overseas by himself next time.

Hi Rainbow,
I have a different thinking on this. Don't waste your money on psych anymore, the oversharing is a symptoms of - Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and Anxiety. Go to consult a psychiatric, the reason why people will oversharing, because they have involuntary Anxiety in their mind and they are forced theirselves to share things with others so that they may feel safe or peace after the sharing.

The psychiatric may prescribed some short term medication to rectify the lack of 血清素 in brain. Try to take the medication for at least one month and see whether the situation or at least his feeling is improved.

[sharonkhoo]

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2135080\" time=\"1718506056\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2135080 time=1718506056 user_id=195250]
Hi Rainbow,
I have a different thinking on this. Don't waste your money on psych anymore, the oversharing is a symptoms of - Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and Anxiety. Go to consult a psychiatric, the reason why people will oversharing, because they have involuntary Anxiety in their mind and they are forced theirselves to share things with others so that they may feel safe or peace after the sharing.

The psychiatric may prescribed some short term medication to rectify the lack of 血清素 in brain. Try to take the medication for at least one month and see whether the situation or at least his feeling is improved.[/quote]

The same symptoms can have different causes, and it's not possible to diagnose online without qualifications and without seeing the person.

[Liew Nga Wing]

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2135087\" time=\"1718513640\" user_id=\"28674:

The same symptoms can have different causes, and it's not possible to diagnose online without qualifications and without seeing the person.

That is why I ask the parent to consul a psychiatric first and see what the doctor say.

[sharonkhoo]

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2135088\" time=\"1718514337\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2135088 time=1718514337 user_id=195250]
That is why I ask the parent to consul a psychiatric first and see what the doctor say.[/quote]

She consulted a psychologist, a qualified professional, and would have been referred to a psychiatrist if needed. It is not necessary to assume that seeing a psychologist is a waste of time, and that oversharing definitely requires a consultation with a psychiatrist.