I don't see the need for alarm bells to go ringing if your child can't read at 3.5 years old. However, if the teacher were to make such a comment, then perhaps some practice at home would be necessary.


Firstly, please please please don't just aimlessly drill and make your child memorise words. This method may reap results but it will only be short term. English is an orthographic language, each letter or combination of letters represent a sound and the child must learn the relationship between the letters and sound. There is a limit to how many words we can memorise this way and the children who learn to read this way will suffer by primary 2-4 when the school realises that they reached max capacity and cannot learn new words any more. This is why an average chinese graduate knows only 3,500 characters (we combine characters to form different meanings in chinese) whereas an average english reader might know say 18,000. Once the capacity of memorising 3500 english words is 'busted', how will the child cope with the remaining 15,000 he/she has to learn?

You said that the other 3-4 year old classmates can read their own books? Sure, there will be the more advanced ones, but I won't be surprised that that they actually memorise the books. I've seen 3 year olds who memorise the books that they like because some books are really very easy to memorise (those with repetitive rhymes for example) and even though they flip the page at the right time they are not actually 'reading'.

There is no shortcut. Phonological awareness, or simply phonic/phonics, is the key indicator to literacy or reading ability in English according to research. In simpler terms, before a child learns to read the child must learn phonics.

You asked 'what words should a child know' and gave examples of 'you, like, she, go, here'. Correct, the child should know the meaning of these words and these are easy words in terms of vocabulary (understanding). However, these may not be the easiest words to read. We want the child to possess 'phonic skills', i.e. the child be able to read even non-words e.g. 'zlog' or 'sary' instead of be able to read 'difficult' words in terms of meaning for example 'enormous' or 'implicit'. Disclaimer: I giving example nia, please don't ridiculous until make your child learn to read these words.

First, the child must be able to match the sound to the letter. For example, 's' sound, 't' sound and 'b' sound (there are many others) I would say are easy sounds. 'g' I would say is harder because you have to teach that they may have multiple sounds. For example 'g' in 'giant' sound different from 'g' in 'girl'. There are other 'harder' sounds and easier sounds, you might start with easy sounds first. The easiest words to start teaching in my opinion are words like 'bat', 'cat', 'bob', 'he', 'me' or most 2-3 letter words containing easy sounds in general lah. And then can move on to include the harder sounds and longer 4 or even 5 letter words. You don't have to wait until your child knows all the sounds in the 2-3 letter words before you move on to 4 letter words. As long as she has a good size inventory and you think you can move on you can do 2, 3 and 4 together. Increase the difficulty as you feel is suitable.

4 letter words will be more interesting already, for example your child has to learn the 'oo' sound in 'book' and 'cool'. How would you read 'bok' and how would you read 'book'? You have to explain that the double o has a different sound. There will be many others that you come along the way and you'll surely find a way to explain when the time comes

There are these things known as 'elkonin boxes' (you can google worksheets and more) that can help to teach spelling and reading. Here's a one page pdf handout that I think explains them well http://ttac.odu.edu/newsletter/PDF/OLD/NovDec2005Jan2006/3newsletterLaura11-05.pdf. It is a great way to break the sounds up to teach reading and spelling. The key thing is we want to match what we see to what we hear. For example for dog, you point to 'd' and make the 'd' sound, then 'o' and 'o' sound, then 'g' and 'g' 'sound, then say 'd-o-g' (separate sounds but say fast), then just 'dog'.

Of course, reading storybooks is as important as reading single words. A bedtime story every night will definitely help reading. You can read the bedtime story and then pause at words you think she will know or that you just taught and get her to read the word. Increase the number of 'blanks' until eventually she can read short and easy storybooks on her own. I find that parents forget this too often, but don't forget to praise your child \"clever girl\" when she gets it right

If you can afford to pay for books and enrichment, go for it. The pretty books may be more appealing to a child, enrichment can serve as an opportunity for increased social interaction and to make different friends. But I want to emphasise that you really don't need to spend extra money teaching a child to read. In some sense it is unnecessary. It is definitely possible to teach reading without all the extra stuff as long as the someone (usually the parent) puts in the time and effort to teach the child regularly.

pixiepixel:

niu2009

speech delayed by 6mth - 1yr based on speech test
poor social skills eg lack social tact, space invader
impulsive, hyperactive, problem in focusing (as compared to same age group children)
poor handwriting skills
auditory hypersensitive

i dont mind most of them but nonverbal communication i find it worrying. its not easy to teach how you should react in each n every single social setting/scenario. it can be taught but it must be learned on his own eventually. how to teach him to read people or situations? he must understand before he can learn.

Is your child attending speech therapy? I remember in your earlier posts you mentioned that NUH referred your child to ST and OT? Social communication is one aspect covered by STs.

Written scripts can be useful to teach children with ASD social communication. You may think that scripts are 2D and 'dead' but they can definitely be generalised to different people and contexts by children with ASD. Of course, severity of social impediment and intelligence will affect the effectiveness of such forms of intervention but written scripts have been found to improve social communication in many children with ASD.

For example, a script teaching introduction can be:
A: Hello, my name is __A_____. What is your name?
B: My name is _____B____.
A: Nice to meet you B. How are you today?
B: I'm fine, thank you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A: Do you watch transformers? (Or whatever is the most hit game/TV show at school)
B: Yes! My favourite character is ________
A: Same! I like ___the character's___ sword! / I prefer ___ (because ____) but I like ___ too!.

Or at grandma's birthday:
Child: Happy birthday Ah Mah!
Grandma: Thank you! You good boy/girl!
Child: *smile at Ah Mah* <- It is called 'social' script, so even body language is part of the script

There is a resource here for social scripts but of course it is a bit 'ang moh' style so some might not suit Singaporean interaction. Review and make necessary edits before using lah, otherwise a good resource also. http://blog.autismspectrumdirectory.com/2011/02/01/list-of-social-stories-and-visual-scripts-for-daily-living-and-social-skills/

You can practice the scripts by reading it off the paper first, and then without the paper with mummy, then later with daddy, then maybe later with jie jie/kor kor/mei mei/di di. Then maybe you can plan a situation for the child to use whatever social script you've taught. Practice the script before the situation you planned for, e.g. in the car or before leaving the house and tell the child explicitly when to use the script later. If the child uses the script later very good, if not can use prompts like \"remember what did before leaving the house/car?\" Once the child uses the script reward the child. Make sure the child knows what he/she is being rewarded for. For example, \"We're going to McDonald's because boy boy did a good job introducing himself to ____!\" Repeat for the same script a couple of times, in slightly different situations for generalisation, can also increase the length of the script, and make sure you keep monitoring that the child remembers say 3, 6 months or 1 year later.

Are there any other parents using social scripts here? If so, can share your resources here? Be it you wrote it yourself or your ST gave to you (post with permission). Culture defines our social norms and Singaporean culture is kinda unique plus we have so few people (even after 7mil, lol) so we will really benefit if we come together to brainstorm for our children with ASD.



Yes, it is a good idea to make more friends here and even bring your son out for outings with other children, be it with other families who have children with ASD or not. These outings can even be planned for the use of pre-practiced scripts (collaborate with the other family). Furthermore, it is healthy that your child has friends outside school. Like some have mentioned, children with ASD sometimes get bullied in school, etc. etc. At least with play dates and outings outside school, they can learn to interact with their peers in a safe and carefully monitored environment. Can expect that they will have difficulties making and keeping friends after they leave school so it would also be good that they have some friends that they are used to and can keep even after their leave school.


==============
Post note:
Some parents may think that it is very 'bo liao' and that where got people learn to communicate this way one. But you look back to when you were a kid. You teacher/parents also used social scripts to teach you, just that it was not as many, not as elaborate and with less support. For example in P1, you want to go toilet, teacher teach what? Raise up your hands and ask \"may I go to the toilet ms/mrs/mr xyz?\" Teacher will say \"yes\". And you must say \"Thank you\". This was also a script and you got it. Same thing, your child with Autism will get it. When you grew up, you learnt to generalise, nowadays you sit in meetings, you know how to say \"excuse me\" and then leave the room. People respond by nodding their head, smiling, or simply giving eye contact to indicate they know you are leaving the room. If you can generalise, so can your child with autism generalise.

==============

This post a bit obvious so I might as well say lah. I'm an undergraduate doing speech therapy in Australia just 'floating around' the forums to find out the concerns of Singaporean parents as I plan to return to Singapore to practice after graduation. That's why I write so much. Even if pixiepixel has already received advice and intervention from a ST I'm sure there will be other parents who will benefit from the information I posted. I'll continue to give my 5 cents as time permits to posts in this thread and section of the forum for everyone's benefit and I sincerely hope you guys can give me feedback on my explanation and the advice given by the health professional you consulted if you have visited one so I can compare and learn.

For example, if your ST recommend video modelling or other forms of intervention to teach social skills, please let me know so I can compare to what I know and recommend and learn from the process. Other parents can also have an alternative approach to consider. If you think I very rubbish by telling you to squeeze almond milk yourself please tell me as well, as I want to know what actually is feasible in a busy Singaporean context.

I like to use a bit of singlish here and there to make it more 'kawan kawan'. Who wants to talk to a health professional with a 'know it all' attitude right? Also, please please ask if there are any terms I use that you don't understand so that I can improve on my future explanations to other parents.

Thanks for reading this uber long post. hahaha.

af7680:

boney:

[quote=\"af7680\"]Dear mummies

My son has been drinking my breast milk as i had extra after feeding 2nd one but now I am weaning off 2nd one , has to find alternative milk as he still likes to drink .
So Tried rice milk but he reject immediately
Tried sweeten almond milk and seems he likes it. But i don't want him to drink it cos its too sweet !
Do you know where I can buy unsweeten almond milk ? Thank you

If you can't find unsweetened almond milk selling in the supermarket, chances are that they don't sell it anywhere else. Even if they do, you'll be likely to have to travel very far just to buy it. And milk is heavy, still must carry home!

Why not you make your own almond milk so you can control the sugar level? If you go to the Chinese medicine shop to buy 'north and south' almonds or 杏仁 (ask the uncle/auntie there they know the best), they'll weigh the proportion and portion that you need for your one portion. At home, soak the almonds and then put the almonds and the amount of water they advise you to add into the blender and blend. After that put through coffee strainer and squeeze all the 'juice' out. Quick and easy.

Since you posted in this thread, I assume your child has autism. If he has sensory issues as well you might get him to help you to squeeze the almond out, he might enjoy the process and enjoy drinking homemade almond milk more because he likes to help to squeeze the almond milk.

Of course, a child with ASD might not be able to tahan the sudden loud noise from the blender, so if really bo bian maybe can help him by getting another family member to entertain him in a room far away from the kitchen or blend when he is not in the house. If not ear muffs might help (those noise protection type, not winter type). Also, if you were to pulse for the same number of seconds (e.g. you put timer for 90 seconds pulsing and then stop), and the serve him milk soon after, he might find the noise more bearable as he'll learn to associate the temporary noise with the milk drink that he likes.

Finally, if you cannot afford to squeeze almond juice for him all the time, what you can do is to slowly dilute almond milk with another alternative such as milk formula or soy milk (assuming no allergies). Also, if his reaction to homemade almond milk is not good, same thing, slowly dilute with something he is familiar with first. Of course, make sure you do this out of his sight. You don't want him to sense anything amiss.

What was he drinking between the time he stopped having breast milk and the birth of your second child? You can use that as a target, so say 9 parts almond + 1 part target, and then increase target proportion with time.

All the best & keep us updated on how it goes!

Hi Boney,
appreicate your kind advise in details.
based on your detailed advice, presume you are making almond juice by yourself too
i printed out your instruction and will go down to buy almond and try.

after posting here, i called coldstorage head office and asked them which brach carries unsweeten almond milk and manage to find one near my house. but then again, the package says it contains other ingredient other than Almond itself so i guess if i can make it , it will be best.

dr says my son is \"suspected\" asd (she said he might be borderline case).
she wants to monitor....however she said he needs early intervention to help him etc...

true that he got some sensory issue that he cant take \"blender\" and acume machine noise . he will scream/cry. but the thing is that sometime he will be ok when distracted but other times not ok. so really not sure if that noise really hurts him or not.

he has been drinking sweetened almond milk so far after stopping breastmilk.
now as i bought a unsweetened almond milk, he tried and he doesnt like.... i have to slowly unsweetened the milk by mixing...

right now, he is asking for orange juice which is sweet [/quote]Thanks for your update af7680! I'm glad you found the info useful.

Is your son picky about other foods as well?

mwchua:

Hi,


Wish to seek your advice. I just got a new Indonesian Muslim maid, she previously worked in Saudi.

I just realized that she had been praying every night (bumped into it last night), don’t know if she prays at other times too. I have no major issue with her praying, but when she prays she is in the full head-to-toe gear, with only eyes visible.

The maid now sleeps in the 3rd bedroom, which is meant to be bedroom for my girl. Just that instead of letting my girl sleeps with the maid, I now let her sleep with me. All my girl’s books/clothes are kept inside that room. I don’t want my girl or mother to get a fright if they see her praying in that gear.

Do you think it will be unreasonable for me to ask her not to wear that gear if she insists on praying? Anyone with similar experience? Sorry all my previous Indo maids don’t have this issue.

Thanks.

rgds,
ming

Problem is: 'I don’t want my girl or mother to get a fright if they see her praying in that gear.'

Therefore,

Solution is: Ask the maid to close (but not lock) the door and maybe put a 'do not disturb' sign on the door when she is praying so that your family members won't get a shock when they see her praying in that gear. Of course you don't tell the maid that lah! Just tell the maid that you prefer her to close the door cos this way she can concentrate better or your mom won't be calling her name from another room or something like that cos don't know she praying, just cock a reasonable story up.

Explain to your family members that when she closes the room door and puts a 'do not disturb' sign, she is praying and that they shouldn't be interrupting when she is praying. Tell them that she shouldn't take more than say 10 minutes so if your daughter wants to get her books/clothes, maybe can wait for 10 minutes? Also, ask your maid for her prayer times so that your family know that if they want anything in the room close to these times they can take it out first.

And then right, most important, make sure you emphasize to the maid cannot lock the room door. Close doesn't mean lock. You also don't want her to do funny things in the name of prayer when the door locked.

If really sometimes emergency need something in the room or her help, tell her your family will knock on the room door and she should remove her face mask/headscarf or even change back to normal clothes before opening the door lor.

Good maid will follow your instructions, including this one. Lousy maid won't follow your instructions, this one plus all other instructions. So if she is good maid, you want to keep her, you must achieve win-win. If lousy maid, bye bye liao lah.

If you can achieve win-win, your family not getting frightened by her and your maid gets her mental wellbeing by praying and feeling respected by her employer, why not? Unless is you not happy with her wearing the gear and wanna find excuse lor. Otherwise it's just mutual respect lah.

Keep us updated on what you did so that other families can use as a reference

af7680:

Dear mummies

My son has been drinking my breast milk as i had extra after feeding 2nd one but now I am weaning off 2nd one , has to find alternative milk as he still likes to drink .
So Tried rice milk but he reject immediately
Tried sweeten almond milk and seems he likes it. But i don't want him to drink it cos its too sweet !
Do you know where I can buy unsweeten almond milk ? Thank you

If you can't find unsweetened almond milk selling in the supermarket, chances are that they don't sell it anywhere else. Even if they do, you'll be likely to have to travel very far just to buy it. And milk is heavy, still must carry home!

Why not you make your own almond milk so you can control the sugar level? If you go to the Chinese medicine shop to buy 'north and south' almonds or 杏仁 (ask the uncle/auntie there they know the best), they'll weigh the proportion and portion that you need for your one portion. At home, soak the almonds and then put the almonds and the amount of water they advise you to add into the blender and blend. After that put through coffee strainer and squeeze all the 'juice' out. Quick and easy.

Since you posted in this thread, I assume your child has autism. If he has sensory issues as well you might get him to help you to squeeze the almond out, he might enjoy the process and enjoy drinking homemade almond milk more because he likes to help to squeeze the almond milk.

Of course, a child with ASD might not be able to tahan the sudden loud noise from the blender, so if really bo bian maybe can help him by getting another family member to entertain him in a room far away from the kitchen or blend when he is not in the house. If not ear muffs might help (those noise protection type, not winter type). Also, if you were to pulse for the same number of seconds (e.g. you put timer for 90 seconds pulsing and then stop), and the serve him milk soon after, he might find the noise more bearable as he'll learn to associate the temporary noise with the milk drink that he likes.

Finally, if you cannot afford to squeeze almond juice for him all the time, what you can do is to slowly dilute almond milk with another alternative such as milk formula or soy milk (assuming no allergies). Also, if his reaction to homemade almond milk is not good, same thing, slowly dilute with something he is familiar with first. Of course, make sure you do this out of his sight. You don't want him to sense anything amiss.

What was he drinking between the time he stopped having breast milk and the birth of your second child? You can use that as a target, so say 9 parts almond + 1 part target, and then increase target proportion with time.

All the best & keep us updated on how it goes!