Is this behaviour of teacher acceptable?

[Nebbermind]

ngl2010:

Hi florastreet,


I have been seeing many of your posts praising your tutor/life coach. I am sorry to say that it sounds like advertisement because you mentioned it too frequently until I think I am having deja vu although the situation slightly differ from post to post. Sometimes it is tutor, sometimes it is life coach, sometimes it is tuition agency. Sometimes the tutees are your children and now we have a neighbour in this post. I just feel there are cracks in your story that made me suspicious. It feels like you are are trying to entice people to pm you to find out about this wonderful tutor/life coach of yours.

You can create a separate thread to post for tuition advertisement and bump it up time to time to create awareness. Let's not hide behind other postings.

No lah. He/she has big family, many children and live in a busy neighbourhood with many neighbours lah!

[yeomaylin]

Nebbermind:

ngl2010:

Hi florastreet,


I have been seeing many of your posts praising your tutor/life coach. I am sorry to say that it sounds like advertisement because you mentioned it too frequently until I think I am having deja vu although the situation slightly differ from post to post. Sometimes it is tutor, sometimes it is life coach, sometimes it is tuition agency. Sometimes the tutees are your children and now we have a neighbour in this post. I just feel there are cracks in your story that made me suspicious. It feels like you are are trying to entice people to pm you to find out about this wonderful tutor/life coach of yours.

You can create a separate thread to post for tuition advertisement and bump it up time to time to create awareness. Let's not hide behind other postings.

No lah. He/she has big family, many children and live in a busy neighbourhood with many neighbours lah!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[janet88]

Don’t depend…if possible…teach yourself.

[sundaymorning]

Yeah agree too , we educate our child and that is the foundation.

[janet88]

sundaymorning:

Yeah agree too , we educate our child and that is the foundation.

we may not be the best in terms of academic standards...but we will not play our own kids out before a crucial exam....right?

[Nebbermind]

sundaymorning:

Yeah agree too , we educate our child and that is the foundation.

Sine when this has become optional? :scratchhead:

[janet88]

Nebbermind:

sundaymorning:

Yeah agree too , we educate our child and that is the foundation.

Sine when this has become optional? :scratchhead:

educating our kids is not an option but a must...it's just a matter of whether there is a backup...but based on personal experience, it's best that parents be the main educator.

[concern2]

Hi guys, lately I've had some trouble dealing with the kids' complaints about school. I hear about some of the things coming from the teachers which I also found inappropriate. However, instead of going straight to the teachers or principal, I decided to work on the kids. By chance, I came across this article on managing defiant children - not exactly what I was looking for, but very relevant.


Here is an extract:

\"Thinking Error #2: “The Teacher is a jerk—and she hates me.”

What It Means: When a child says something like this, he’s using a thinking error called “The Victim Stance”. Some kids see themselves as victims all the time and in almost every situation. What they’re doing is trying to reject the idea that they’re responsible for anything. You’ll ask them a question and they’ve always got a sad story. Part of that sad story is who they blame for not meeting their responsibilities. That’s because when you’re a victim, you blame other people. So these kids blame the teacher, they blame you, or they blame somebody else—and what they learn is if they stick to their story long enough, they won’t be held accountable.

What I try to tell parents is that there is a sad story, and then there’s a behavior story. The sad story is your child playing the victim; the behavior story is what your child did to other people or to property. And as parents, we always have to focus on the behavior story. Every child has to be responsible for the behavior story, not the sad story. Don’t forget, when kids see themselves as victims, that gives them the justification they need to not meet their responsibilities. If you’re a victim, they reason, you shouldn’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. And focusing on the sad story somehow supports their right not to meet responsibilities.

What You Can Do: When your child adopts the Victim Stance, what he needs to be hearing from you is, “You’re not a victim. You’re responsible for your actions.” In this case, the parent could also say, “It sounds like you’re blaming your teacher for not having your homework done. But you’re the homework-doer—that’s your responsibility. And it’s not your teacher’s job to get along with you; it’s your job to get along with your teacher.”

Here is the source of the article if you find this useful:
http://www.empoweringparents.com/A-Day-in-the-Mind-of-Your-Defiant-Child.php#

[BeContented]

concern2:

Hi guys, lately I've had some trouble dealing with the kids' complaints about school. I hear about some of the things coming from the teachers which I also found inappropriate. However, instead of going straight to the teachers or principal, I decided to work on the kids. By chance, I came across this article on managing defiant children - not exactly what I was looking for, but very relevant.


Here is an extract:

\"Thinking Error #2: “The Teacher is a jerk—and she hates me.”

What It Means: When a child says something like this, he’s using a thinking error called “The Victim Stance”. Some kids see themselves as victims all the time and in almost every situation. What they’re doing is trying to reject the idea that they’re responsible for anything. You’ll ask them a question and they’ve always got a sad story. Part of that sad story is who they blame for not meeting their responsibilities. That’s because when you’re a victim, you blame other people. So these kids blame the teacher, they blame you, or they blame somebody else—and what they learn is if they stick to their story long enough, they won’t be held accountable.

What I try to tell parents is that there is a sad story, and then there’s a behavior story. The sad story is your child playing the victim; the behavior story is what your child did to other people or to property. And as parents, we always have to focus on the behavior story. Every child has to be responsible for the behavior story, not the sad story. Don’t forget, when kids see themselves as victims, that gives them the justification they need to not meet their responsibilities. If you’re a victim, they reason, you shouldn’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. And focusing on the sad story somehow supports their right not to meet responsibilities.

What You Can Do: When your child adopts the Victim Stance, what he needs to be hearing from you is, “You’re not a victim. You’re responsible for your actions.” In this case, the parent could also say, “It sounds like you’re blaming your teacher for not having your homework done. But you’re the homework-doer—that’s your responsibility. And it’s not your teacher’s job to get along with you; it’s your job to get along with your teacher.”

Here is the source of the article if you find this useful:
http://www.empoweringparents.com/A-Day-in-the-Mind-of-Your-Defiant-Child.php#

Like what you shared above.
Now I can show my kids above & explained it under the sad vs behaviour story. They will finally understand why they hardly get to play victim role. :evil: :rotflmao:

[SAHM_TAN]

Thanks for sharing the article.


:offtopic:
I thought I was being harsh becos I tend to focus on what are their responsibilities rather the difficulties they might face in carrying out their responsibilities. I do not ignore the difficulties they faced but most of the time they are able to overcome them, if they try harder or a different approach. I only step in when I judge that the particular difficulty is too much for them becos of certain circumstances.

:offtopic: