All About Autism
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Son had jaundice, failed liver operation, still on pram at 9 years old. http://news.omy.sg/News/Local-News/Mei-Shao-Fu-Tui-Er-Xia-Lou-Ming-Bei-Kong-Mou-Sha-171165#prettyPhoto
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phtthp:
Taking care of a child like this takes a lot of patience and strength and I am so sad it ended up like this. Wonder if she had enough support. So sad.Yes, very very sad.
She is so young, only 31 years old, so young.
Depression drove her to this.
I really pity the dead child's grandma.
If the mother is convicted of murder, who will take care of the pitiful aged grandma ? -
Double E:
Hello Double E and all mummies here!Happy Monday everyone.
Just a quick question. If you are offered a new job with a 20% increment but you will need to travel out of Singapore frequently, work late nights and sometimes weekends, will you take up the job given that you have a special needs kid to coach and take care? How prepared are u to sacrifice the time? With the 20% increment, you can probably save more money to send your son to more therapies.
A long time no \"see\", now that I am on leave I have time to go through all the postings in the month of May and am really tempted to reply to some of them so here goes!
My answer to your question? A very definite NO. For the amount of flexibility you have and especially you are already a FTWM (which means whatever time left is really precious for you to spend time with your kids!).
Also forgive me for saying this but to be able to afford SGD2,500 of educational and therapies a month between you and hubby, I would say you do not need the additional 20% pay increment at the expense of all the flexibility that you now have.
Yes, 7 years is a long time and granted work would be a bit jaded. But it also means you can perform your job with (possibly) one-eye closed
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Finished work and then zoom home!
Why I say this? Because I am in the same boat as you. Already worked for 6+ years in my current job. Currently I would say I have work-life balance ie. no need OT and no need to travel. At this stage, the ambition and the \"itch\" is biting. I too found myself thinking if there is a better offer to come along, I would jump ship! But it is also a real possibility that I might not be able to fit so well into another organisation anymore and after a short while may have to quit.
Which would be even worst because then becomes zero-pay! :sick: :moneyflies:
My boy going P1 next year and his needs is taking up a lot of our time as it is already. Cannot afford to pursue career, not even higher pay to \"fund\" more therapies.
I have already told my peers work-life balance is very important to me since I have two pre-schoolers. I may have to speak to my bosses very soon about job and pay expectations. My struggle is how to tell them without giving them the wrong impression that I am going to \"backslide\" in my work....
All the best!
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nugget:
Hi nugget,Ironic isn't it.
Some mothers give up their jobs to tend to their kids full time.
Some mothers are getting away from their kids so they can provide the kids so much more.
But at the end of the day.. its all about the kids isn't it.
Yes and no. For me (FTWM), it is also about supporting my parents, paying for their medical bills and sharing the load with my husband to pay for our kids. Not cheap, whether we are talking about therapies or tuition or even the daily provisions.
A lot of reasons why we work or do not work but I would think without the money worries, life would be more stable for me. I am not sure if I quit my job, I would really be in a condition good enough to provide all the dream support to my boy (or I may just fall into depression which I had once when I was in-between jobs).
Maybe, maybe not. I would prefer not to test it out at this point in time!
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nugget:
Agree, nugget.ImMeeMee,
Just to share, I have recently attended a course at pathlight. I met this parent whose dd is already P4 there. She lives in Jurong (if I recalled correctly).
SHe told me she first put her dd into mainstream too.. But shortly after, her dd get bullied and was crying. She in the end sign up for pathlight.
She said pathlight helped her dd a lot. Its a very good school. Class room size is about 20 students but will have at least 2-4 teachers helping out.
Some are assistance teachers, some are special needs teachers to help to deal with sensory etc issues. Her dd is very well supported.
During the break, I went to the canteen and toilets.. I like the school environment too. There are lots of signs and picture display everywhere to help the students.
They are also very high tech. Teachers are using iMacs and IPads to conduct their lessons. I am super impressed.
If my son really cant adapt into mainstream. I will enroll him for pathlight next year.
Same plan for me! -
phtthp:
Hi phtthp,Or perhaps the right qn to ask is :-
if there is bullying inside Pathlight, then how do the teachers inside there rectify the problem ?
I attended a talk at PL before and the lady told us that in PL, the teachers are trained to handle such situations. It can be anything ie. meltdowns, or special quirks or sensitive issues with any kids and they could be triggered by various reasons. Solutions they have is to say, for eg, give them two choices of \"time-out\" ie. do they want a three-minute time-out (outside the classroom) or do they want a five-minute time-out?
Reason why they ask such a question is that for ASD kids, give them a choice so that they feel they are in control and hence has a calming effect.
So the teachers will take the effort to understand each student and handle accordingly! -
Hi Buds,
Thanks for sharing! Yes, I found that love works, especially during those really bad bouts of whining and crying non-stop from my boy. During these times, I had to calm down myself first and then speak to my boy, hug him, tell him mummy loves you, then go into an aircon room, make him lie down down on the bed and then rub and massage him all over, sang to him until he calmed down completely. After he calmed down then I will talk to him soothingly, stand from his point of view and verbalize what had happened to him, that mummy understand why he was crying and fussy and why mummy was also angry with him etc. Talking to my boy calmly has a soothing effort on him as well.
Because of his speech difficulties, he could not communicate fully what frustrated him so we really need to take special effort to try to understand him.
A good hug, rub and massage really works with my boy! -
nugget:
Hi nugget,Mummies who kids are already in Mainstream Primary school.
Can I ask:
1. Do you approach the AED before you enroll your kids into that school Or after you enroll then you approach the AED? Or do we wait for AED to contact us after enrollment?
2. Do we need to submit all the psy report and IQ test upon enrollment of the school?
Thanks so much.
My boy going P1 next year and I just attended a talk organized by the KKH-CDC and the Q&A touched on these two questions.
The advise given by the panel of advisers were:
1. Contact the AED only after the child got assigned to the school. The recommended timing would be around Sep/Oct to prep. the kid for P1 by bringing the kid to the school to orientate him and be familiarize with the environment. It is also the time to start communicating with the schools about the learning support necessary for the child.
Of course parents can contact the school about AED support BEFORE the actual enrolment but that would be more to find out if the school is supportive and whether it would be the right school for us to choose for the child.
2. At the P1 registration, no need to submit such reports. We were told the P1 registration process is very strictly adhered to and schools do not have the right to deviate from it. The school has no right to reject special needs kids hence the child will not be disadvantaged in this way. If the child could not get into the school of choice, it would purely be because of chance that occurred during the balloting process.
However, such docs. will be needed in order to obtain AED support or chinese deferment.
That's what I gather from the talk! -
Good night, all!
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Thanks for sharing the KKH feedback on AED support DessertWind.
Like the parents here, am concerned that though mainstream schools legally cannot reject special needs kids, that doesn’t mean that they will not be socially isolated by their classmates or ignored by teachers. AED support can only go so far especially when there are so many to take care of.
An ex-teacher friend in a mainstream school once told me in confidence that whenever there were dyslexic, ADHD or ASD students assigned to her class, she would merely leave them alone to do whatever they wanted and only intervene if the behaviour disrupts the rest of the class. There is no effort to try and engage the child in learning nor encouragement given to participate with peers.
Was of course quite sad to hear such things but realistically, a teacher’s job is like any other, cannot expect them to go the extra mile for special need kids when it is so much easier to do nothing.
Sometimes wonder why we bring kids into this world to face such challenges heartache
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