All About Autism

[sharonkhoo]

ImMeeMee:

BTW, are you back in SG, and your daughter has started her schooling here? How are things coming along?

Yes, we got back in mid-June. My ASD daughter is not in school now as it would her 'O' level year, and it would be too much to ask her to take those with only 3 mths preparation. We plan for her to take the SPERS exam at the end of the year and hopefully get into an 'A' level programme beginning next year. I'm homeschooling her for the time being, mostly doing 'O' level Maths, English and some Lit. We signed her up for Maths and Chinese tuition classes, mostly to give her something to do. It's quite boring for her as her younger sister started school in July, but luckily she doesn't mind being alone a lot of the time. Thanks for asking!

[Coolkidsrock2]

nugget:

I totally agreed with what you all said.


Sorry, I have put my thoughts across wrongly. I am not saying success or happiness is defined by academic achievement, promotion or scholarships etc.

Those are just examples I cite saying my kid might not be considered when he is going for an opportunity if he declared that he has ASD.

Like you all, I only hope for my boy is that he is able to live independent, provide for himself when I am no longer around one day.

I am just feeling the dull sadness that because of his condition, he might missed out on a lot of opportunities because of the stigmatization. Once people know that he has ASD, yes, people might be able to accept him as he is. But there is a good chance he might missed out on opportunities.

Maybe let me cite another example:

Say next time my son is very good at computer and can be programmer. Not the best, but a ok programmer.

He went for job interview, under medical declaration he put he has autism.
Four things might happen:

1. Employer directly reject him without giving him a chance at interview.

2. Employer interviews him, likes his skillset, at the same time will compare him to other candidates. If he is only slightly better than other candidates, the boss might still end up choose another candidate cos its easier to coach and manage a non ASD adult.

3. Employer interviews and accept him into employment cos of some Special Employment Credit. Give him a below market salary, tasking him with menial tasks even though son can do programming. Doesn't bother to groom him cos it takes employer too much time and effort required to make special accommodations and refine job process.

4. Employer interviews and accept him into employment. Takes effort to make special arrangement for him, break down the requirements of the job, make changes to the processes so son can work effectively. Periodically review son's work to make sure he is motivated and happy in his job.

I would hope my son falls into situation at no 4. But seriously most of the time, (1) - (3) usually happen. Even when I try to find enrichment classes, swimming lessons for him, I landed in situation (1) - (3).

All I feel is that Son might be in a situation where he might be better or same as other people, but will still miss out opportunities cos of his condition.

Of cos like you all, I want my son to be happy and its better off he stay at home if he cannot manage this rat race.

But he grow older, I am sure he wants some quality of live, a sense of self worth. Enjoy what he likes to do and I hope that he is given a fair chance like all people.

If he really enjoys doing something like programming (just an example), if the society don't give him a chance, he can only stay at home and do nothing even though he has the skillset and potential.

Why I am thinking so far ahead because recently my son did well in some task he couldnt do last time. All of us praise him, he shyly look away and smile, but I can see that in his eyes he is so proud of himself and he knows daddy and mummy acknowledges his effort and he looked so happy.

I can't help but wonder no matter how well prep he is, if next time he grows up, will there be people who are willing to give him a chance? If son wants to do well and contribute to society, but he is being stigmatize because of his condition, his sense of well being is definitely going to be hurt. It will really hurt me too to see him going through this.

Hi Nugget, take heart that there are organisations which are equal opportunity employers and candidates are assessed on their merits.

[nugget]

belachanbabe:

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/berlin-company-specialises-autistic-experts-114723370.html?.tsrc=warhol


One thing good about ASD colleagues is a no office politics workplace, my dream!

Seriously though, am more anxious about interpersonal relationships in future. Would the girl he is interested in reject my boy if she knows he is autistic? My younger boy recently has been throwing tantrums every morning before school and we found out its coz his favorite teacher is leaving the school. He is already so attached to her and am wondering how he will keep his emotions in check managing BGR relationships. So many elements to juggle and worse he stalks or something worse.

Better stop before I get ahead of myself though. Haiz

That article is inspiring.

I know what are you getting at. My boy on the other hand are not interested in people and especially shy towards girls. I think he will only be attached if the girl he is attracted to make the first move. Haha.

We need to constantly remind them about keep an acceptance distance and respecting personal space for a start. My son will anyhow hold people's hand when we are out (he assumed its me or hb beside him), I need to constantly remind him, please look before you hold people's hand. Else a stranger might just lead you away. Or when he is older, if he anyhow touch a lady, he might get slap cos boys are not suppose to anyhow touch girls. Likewise, no one is suppose to anyhow touch him esp his privates.

Sometimes I keep telling him so many things, he will say to me \"dun keep asking me questions\" or \"dun keep telling me so many things\".
I think he finds me naggy

[nugget]

slmkhoo:

I don't think the choice is so cut and dried - rat race or stay home. As our kids grow up, we must hope that they will meet other caring people, eg relatives, friends, teachers etc who will help them find a niche. Maybe they can be employed by someone who knows them rather than having to go through the normal job application process. Maybe someone can help them start their own business or work as a freelancer. Or if they can't be employed, maybe they can volunteer some of their skills to a charity. What's more important is to teach them to get their self-worth from what they do rather than what they are paid or what job title they have.

Yes, I do hope he will keep meeting nice people in his life journey. It will be a bonus if he can earn and make his keep. Eventually I will be gone earlier than him, if the money I left for him run out, I hope he will be able to count on himself.

So far I haven't find his niche yet. But I do notice he see things differently from us. Its amazing how they view things differently from normal people.

[nugget]

ImMeeMee:

slmkhoo, I cant agree more on the self-worth. I have been told by some experts that ASD individuals tend to have comorbid conditions such as anxiety or depression, and I think it could be due to the lack of self-esteem arising from misfits with the society.

So its important to build self-esteem and self-worth since young, with as much a nurturing and supportive environment from parents as possible.

BTW, are you back in SG, and your daughter has started her schooling here? How are things coming along?

I agree. We need to keep building self esteem and self worth for our kids. I hope our society will accommodating and understanding enough to accept ASD people as part of this fast pace society.

[Double E]

Nugget

Have u successfully registered your son in a mainstream primary school this year?
did u declare? Or no need to during registration period?

[ImMeeMee]

My ASD doter finally recovered from her throat inflammation that came with it spiking fever that refused to come down until after two courses of antibiotics. She was out of action for more than a week.


Now she is happily off to school celebrating red and white!

[nugget]

Double E:

Nugget

Have u successfully registered your son in a mainstream primary school this year?
did u declare? Or no need to during registration period?

Yes, managed to enroll my son already. Place have been confirmed :rahrah:

I brought him to the school open house and he really likes it. He is looking forward to Primary 1.

There is no need to declare ASD. But my son have other health condition, I did declare those first as they are being submitted as part of this health booklet records.

There is another day where parents of all new P1 students go and fill up forms. I will declare during then. But I am thinking of reaching out to the AED since now son have been confirmed in school.

[nugget]

ImMeeMee:

My ASD doter finally recovered from her throat inflammation that came with it spiking fever that refused to come down until after two courses of antibiotics. She was out of action for more than a week.


Now she is happily off to school celebrating red and white!

ImMeeMee,

Good to hear that. Its really worrying to see the little one falling sick. Today all kids are happily celebrating National Day in school.

[Nebbermind]

Reflections of Our Singapore Conversation:

A Mother’s Wish: a supportive community for autistic son

Choo Kah Ying had taken away her son’s iPod. Upset, the 16-year-old struck his mother, leaving her in despair and wanting to give up on creating a programme to help him and others with moderate to severe autism.

http://www.oursgconversation.sg/reflections/OSC.pdf